Would You Intervene?

Picture the scene………………….

Your on your way home from the usual busy, and depressing day at work. As per your routine you wait for and then take the number 5 bus home. Sitting there daydreaming listening to your choice of MP3 player you think you can hear raised voices from behind you. As you turn around you witness the beginnings of a violent fracas; a young woman is being attacked by four other young people.

What will you do?

It is a moment everyone surely dreads; seeing the unbelievable happening right there, right then in public, and for you to bear witness to.

It is a moral dilemma; ignore it and ‘walk’ away or confront the situation, intervene and say ‘NO’!

After all it isn’t YOU they are harming, YOUR not under threat. It isn’t YOUR business, YOU have enough on your own plate. It could well be that young woman DESERVES those punches she is receiving.

What makes a person intervene or walk away?

Why is it when people are being attacked it is better to shout ‘fire’ to alert and raise the alarm to solicit help, then the actual words ‘help me please’!

‘Help’, does it always fall on deaf ears? Yet, not just the word help, but seeing that someone requires help; YOUR HELP.

Can we all so easily turn our backs on those who are being attacked, mugged, harassed  verbally abused, pushed and shoved or whatever??

Where did our solitary as human beings go? What happened to rob us of our outrage, of our sympathy, of our heart and souls?

When a herd of Buffalo are attacked by wolves, they will actually band together, regroup and turn on the aggressor, the threat that is hurting one of their own.

Yet us humans don’t often share their mentality.

We say that the ‘bad’ people of the world act like animals, no they don’t; because animals look after their own. Animals protect the vulnerable in their groups and fight back; not walk away.

Could it be then that humans alone are the exclusive owners of the ‘selfish gene’? We call this self preservation, it might be, but if you aren’t in mind to protect your own species, how then can it ever survive?

Yet, all is not lost.

 

There are some amongst us who will take the part of the guardian Angel’s in our time of need. Sometimes these Angel’s come in unexpected guises; elderly people walking past, teenagers sitting on a train, and even a young women walking her dog.

So, what makes some people not accept or tolerate others being harmed in their presence?

What is it that makes some people fight back and defend others they don’t even know; regardless of the danger it could pose to themselves?

What separates them from the rest of the herd????????

OPINIONS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!! 

What do you think about intervening in a crime???

WOULD YOU INTERVENE??? HAVE YOU INTERVENED???

OR, maybe you wish you had??

PERHAPS, you or someone YOU know has been subject to a crime where no-one helped??????

What DO YOU THINK MAKES US react as we do to these extraordinary events????????

Very Inspiring Blogger Nomination!!!!!!!!

Oh my goodness, what a lovely and completely shocking surprise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have broken my internet curfew (no online chatter after 7 p.m), but it is for a very good reason……………

I have been nominated by tuttacronaca at tuttacronaca.wordpress.com for “Very Inspiring Blogger Award”!!!!!!!!!!

Well, thanks in abundance to tuttacronaca for appreciating my work enough to put my humble blog, and writing, forward for such an award!!!!!!!!!

I am extremely happy and reiterate again; shocked, surprised and basically over the moon (if you couldn’t tell)!!!!!!!!

For me being nominated is fantastic enough. I didn’t even think that would happen, I blogged about that impossibility a few months ago; eating my words much? Yes I am!

Anyway, thanks, thanks and more thanks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S – Congratulations to tuttacronaca for winning the award – well deserved!!

The Lonely Hearts NOT looking for love

Now, before I even begin writing or more precisely typing this post, I am FULLY aware that there are going to be people who will COMPLETELY disagree with me on this.

They may even accuse me of being unfair, unfeeling or whatever else springs to mind. Yet, this is MY opinion on MY blog; so I am going to discuss this matter ANYWAY as I feel it needs to be!!!

I realise that WordPress is a great platform to meet people, albeit virtually; to discuss, connect and even form friendships. I can see that the very nature of blogging is about being sociable and affable, and indeed inviting others to take a step inside your life and follow you on a journey.

However, I for one draw the line, and it is a deep and long line, in the sand when it comes to ‘looking for love’.

I know there are some people out there in the virtual world who choose to do this very thing via WordPress, which again is THEIR choice. Yet, I would take serious issue if that was brought to the door of my life (my life here on WordPress).

You see enquiring about relationship statuses, love preferences or trying to ‘score’ a date is not something I would willing choose to have to deal with on a serious blog (I hope), about serious topics (I hope).

Any ‘love’ enquiry, for me, would completely dismiss me and my skills as a writer. I would find such things highly stereotypical; I am a woman therefore a love interest and nothing more. I am a woman therefore I must be fair game.

I for one am not on WordPress to find love. If there are people out there who are – good for them! I personally don’t see WordPress as a lonely hearts column, for me it is about my writing and making connections with people who take my writing seriously. That is just my opinion on it all folks!

You see, I DON’T tend to invite people into my inner most life, the life I really exist within outside of my blogging world. Reason, well I have stated this before in other posts; it is because that part of me and my life is sacred, that is a portion of me for me and for those I know.

This is not to say I don’t appreciate online friendships – I have many of these and cherish and value them. In fact, if I chose to meet these people in the real world I’m sure we’d be firm friends!

I just want to reiterate though that until you meet a person in the flesh, you NEVER know them, you CANNOT know them via online words. In fact, to go one step further; you NEVER know anyone 100% (I’ve stated this in other posts too)! Words without actions, body language, past experiences of that person and eye contact – can be easily manipulated to make you ‘see’ and believe what you want to.

Not that I am stating I or anyone else on WordPress is a confidence trickster or malignant personality. It is just a fact of life that meeting people is the key to, well, truly meeting people! We all know that!

We are, whether we want to admit it or not, all wearing a mask; a mask of online anonymity. We are all existing in our own online worlds, our own little portion of online reality; and this is what makes the internet good and bad.

I don’t want to sacrifice this online anonymity to anyone I don’t want to. I don’t want to let all and sundry into my personal sphere.

If that is a bone of contention for anyone, well, that isn’t my problem. Accept me as I accept you; well, the virtual version of you in any case!!!!!

Opinions please;

What is YOUR take on looking for love via the internet (WordPress) – good or bad thing??

What do YOU feel and think about letting people into YOUR world???

DO YOU ALWAYS TELL THE TRUTH OF YOURSELF TO EVERYONE ONLINE????  

The Psychopath Next Door

American Psycho – Fact Or Fiction?????

What are YOUR first impressions and thoughts when YOU hear the word PSYCHOPATH??????

MAYBE; serial killing monsters who are mainly men.

OR ARE THEY??

What about the psychopaths that don’t fit into this assumption?

It is estimated that 1 in 25 people are psychopaths; these people are never convicted of crimes, never serve jail sentences and aren’t necessarily men or murderers.

Who are these 1 in 25?

Your neighbour, boss, relative, lover, colleague. A Doctor, Priest, Lawyer, Politician and anything else in between.

Psychopathy traverses all barriers of class, society, religion, ethnicity and gender.

In other words YOU definitely know a psychopath. YOU have definitely associated with a psychopath.

Yet, no doubt YOU aren’t or weren’t aware of it.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT????

Then how is it possible to spot a psychopath?

This question alone denotes that psychopaths are by nature the enemy, the evil mad person who stands alone in the crowd, the criminal, the violent killer made famous in many Hollywood films.

YET ARE THEY??? NO, THEY ARE NOT.

There has to be some sign, some psychopathic traits?

The lists below highlight traits attributed to, and shared by all psychopaths.

Facet 1 Interpersonal

• Glibness/superficial charm
• Grandiose sense of self-worth
• Pathological Lying
• Cunning/manipulative

Facet 2 Affective

• Lack of remorse or guilt
• Emotionally shallow
• Callous/lack of empathy
• Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

Facet 3 Lifestyle

• Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom
• Parasitic lifestyle
• Lack of realistic, long-term goals
• Impulsiveness
• Irresponsibility

Facet 4 Antisocial

• Poor behavioural controls
• Early behavioural problems
• Juvenile Delinquency 
• Revocation of conditional release
• Criminal versatility

Other Factors

• Parasitic lifestyle
• Many short-term marital relationships
• Promiscuous sexual behaviour

See any traits you recognise yourself as having??? Don’t worry; recognising yourself as possessing one, two or even three of these traits doesn’t mean YOU are a psychopath, the enemy of humanity.

In fact many of these traits, the traits of the enemy, are VALUED not REVILED in today’s society. They are HIGHLY conducive to being SUCCESSFUL in the business or political world. They are a prerequisite to progress, to leadership.

So if these character traits can be applied to a majority of people, how useful are they to identifying a psychopath?

Though the above table belongs to a well acknowledged ‘gold standard’ for accessing and diagnosing psychopaths called  Psychopathy Checklist-Revised; the research was derived from criminal samples obtained by Hervey Cleckley. The origins of this information comes from people who may well have been murderers; and as we now know not all psychopaths are murderers.

This table alone is not in-depth or comprehensive, it has been subject to criticism as it is often seen as ‘labelling’ and only relevant in specific contexts.

Even the  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders has never listed psychopathy as the official term for a personality disorder. According the DSM; criteria and psychopathy are not synonymous.

It seems when all the research and diagnostic tools have been exhausted, still no one can be quite sure what makes a psychopath and how these traits make that person a danger. No one really knows how to ‘spot’ a psychopath in the real world, especially when these people are part of the very fabric of the world we all live in.

Maybe a definition of a psychopath could help?  

“(Psychiatry) a person afflicted with a personality disorder characterised by a tendency to commit antisocial and sometimes violent acts and a failure to feel guilt for such acts. Also called sociopath”.

Well, if we relied on that dictionary version, not not really.

Let us recap the generic traits often stated as being identified with psychopaths;
Manipulation
Lack of remorse
No conscience
Risk taking
Ruthlessness

Dr Hare’s Checklist

They look very like traits idealised within the perfect leader of industry or Government to me.

Yet, Dr Robert Hare may have managed to finally define what makes a psychopath. He has worked 35 years researching psychopathy. He has developed the Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised (PCL-R), Psychopathy Checklist: Screening Version (PCL:SV), the P-Scan, the Psychopathy Checklist: Youth Version (PCL:YV), and the Antisocial Process Screening Device (APSD).

He is also a co-author of the Guidelines for a Psychopathy Treatment Program. The Hare Psychopathy Checklist-Revised, has demonstrated reliability and validity. This document is rapidly being adopted worldwide as the standard instrument for researchers and clinicians dealing with psychopaths.

 

Yet, is this checklist anything more or different than what has already been said?

WHAT DO YOU THINK???

How do people become psychopaths?

Well, no one becomes a psychopath. Research at least, believes that people are born with this behaviour or brain. I make reference to the brain as tests have demonstrated that the brain of a psychopath lacks the ‘normal’ processing abilities, and responses to emotive images and words. Psychopaths don’t register other people’s anguish, anger, fear and pain as other people do. They understand these emotions, but don’t feel them.

Researchers also argue that environment has nothing to do with psychopathic traits; a person either is or isn’t a psychopath. Basically it is biological and even genetically determined, but not nurtured or created.

Again; WHAT DO YOU THINK???

Surely there has to be a ‘cure’? 

Well, Dr. Hare believes there could be. His team has been working to develop an actual not theoretical treatment program, but specifically for violent psychopaths. The premise of this treatment is to encourage psychopaths to be better by appealing not to their (non-existent) altruism but to their (abundant) self-interest.

It is designed to modify behaviour by convincing them that there are ways they can get what they want without resorting to harming others. Basically; violence is bad, not for society, but for the psychopath themselves.

Yet, regardless if this treatment works, it can only be applied to the violent minority of psychopaths.

What about the remainder of the 1 in 25 never convicted as criminals?

Self-protection through self-education perhaps…………….,

Know your own weaknesses to prevent them being used against you by the psychopath lying in wait…………,

Learn to recognise the psychopath (by above checklists); yet even experts are regularly taken in by their charm.

Basically your guess is as good as mine.

When all is said and done there is NO solution.

No scientist or Psychiatrist can cure or fully treat a psychopath.

Therefore we just have to accept the inevitability and existence of; THE PSYCHOPATH NEXT DOOR.

PLEASE let me have YOUR opinions on this subject…………

What do YOU think of categorising people in such ways???

What do YOU think about psychological checklists??

OR – MAYBE YOU KNOW A PSYCHOPATH??? What are YOUR experiences???

Is Democracy DEAD???

 

I have been looking at UK based political opinion websites recently, where, not surprisingly David Cameron has been dished his fair share of hate.

Yet, I am left wondering; if no-one trusts Cameron, then who do they trust?? Not one person ever answers this question………….

I mean aren’t ALL political parties and politicians the same; full of empty promises??

Yet, to balance the argument out here a bit; the UK was in a pretty poor state when this coalition Government inherited it. No-one, not even David Cameron can be expected to work miracles over night, any change WILL take time.

I am not a ‘fan’ per se of any politician though, but I can see that at this moment whatever is done or not done will cause uproar.

So perhaps then their failings, like all the others before them is not their party rhetoric or their policies, but that they aren’t consulting with their electorate AT ALL.

Isn’t that what politics is though, consultation and representing the electorate?

Politicians by nature seem to impose what they think are great solutions, leaving us all out in the wilderness, alienated from the political sphere.

We are left wondering what is this all about?

Don’t WE the people count?

Where is TRUE democracy, if it ever existed, gone?

Maybe in the next general election they should include a box on the ballot form stating;
‘I ABSTAIN FROM VOTING’ – I wonder how many people in the UK would tick this box?

ANSWERS TO THESE QUESTIONS ARE MOST WELCOME PEOPLE! Please let me know YOUR thoughts……..

What do YOU think about the place politics holds in today’s society.

Has politics lost it’s direction?

Are we all being ignored by the bureaucratic processes??

IS DEMOCRACY DEAD???????????????

You TELL me!

 

*Above pic from : http://bharathin.blogspot.com.es

Read Yourself Into Well-Being

According to a study undertaken by the University of Glasgow; 2000 people diagnosed with Depression have made considerable steps towards feeling ‘better’, and have been able to manage their Depression with only the use of self help books.

Yes, the humble SELF HELP BOOK.

However, maybe these books aren’t the miracle they are being deemed to be as half of the studies participants were also receiving Anti-Depressants too.

So, is it possible that a few months with a self help book as your companion, and a a couple of sessions with an adviser (who informs you how to get the most out of this literature), really be the ultimate ‘cure’?

Well, the NHS think so. They seem willing to invest in this treatment, and no wonder as it is claimed this approach could save the NHS £272m and the public sector £700m. A considerable sum of money.

Yet is this just another quick fix being employed to rid the NHS of waiting lists for much needed Psychological treatments?

After all medications are readily prescribed by GPs to those patients waiting, and waiting, and waiting for therapies such as counselling. So perhaps another prescription, albeit in the form of self books wouldn’t be that unusual.

The truth is though that the demand for Psychological treatments is so extreme that the NHS cannot keep up with the referrals being made, and the investment required. Anti-Depressants, or any prescription can be used as a stop gap, a plaster for a deeper wound; therefore removing people from any waiting list which would lead to more money being spent. Yet, wouldn’t the cost be less if the true and deep seated issues were actually being addressed instead of bypassed by drugs and books?

These Anti-Depressant prescriptions actually cost the NHS £16m, but these drugs solve none of the patients real issues; 2 thirds of patients don’t respond to the medication at all. So, why are the NHS willing to waste more money on a dead end, but not a ‘cure’ which Psychological therapies can provide?

How can self help books therefore be contenders, when it has been proven that therapies like CBT are actually what is required?

Is it a case of considering a joined up response? What doesn’t work for one may indeed be beneficial to another? Perhaps; as everyone responds differently to different treatments. Or, maybe it is another save money quick scam.

WHAT DO YOU THINK??? SHARE WITH ME YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS COMPLEX TOPIC…….

Would you be happy for your GP to prescribe a self help book instead of CBT???

Have self help books worked for you??

Do you think medication alone is the answer??

Is it right that the NHS should cut its funding for Psychological therapies??

HAVE YOUR SAY NOW!

Daily Prompt: Toot Your Horn

“Most of us are excellent at being self-deprecating, and are not so good at the opposite. Tell us your favorite thing about yourself”.

 

This is quite a difficult question to answer, in my opinion.

It is reminiscent of those awful interview questions that are asked of you when you least expect it! Everyone dreads forming a genuine answer, as no-one is really certain that ‘favourite thing’ and themselves should even be coupled in the same sentence.

Yes, we are, or most of us are, excellent at being self-depreciating; but isn’t that how we are brought up to be? Hasn’t that been societies way of making us displeased with ourselves; making us believe we are all mini projects never quite completed to the ‘standard’ required?

I often struggled with finding one thing about me I liked as a child; these feelings of restraint, or not ‘blowing my own horn’ then followed me into adulthood. I never felt quite good enough in any respect. It was difficult for me to show what I could do; whether that was talent, skill or intelligence.

I often allowed others to just take centre stage, because I didn’t think I belonged there. This was because I was so uncertain of myself and afraid, though I often hid that very well to conceal those disconcerting facts. I know in some ways, I still do.

You see, being bullied relentlessly from the moment you begin school, does tend to take its toll upon your self esteem and image. Especially when you are reminded on a daily basis by ‘friends’, ‘classmates’ and teachers alike that you are useless. This heinous reinforcement is then difficult to unpick, even by family.

So, what about at this moment – what is my favourite thing about me? I’m getting to that honestly, just wait a moment!

As a consequence of being bullied and other situations which were also difficult for me to deal with growing up; I actually learned a lot about people, life and myself.

Yes, my confidence and self image took a massive blow to the back of the head, but I have worked to reverse that by learning to fight my own corner. This took time, but I did, and it was the most important thing I found I was able to do to help myself.

How, well by using my words to overcome whatever obstacle confronts me. Words have helped me to not be at the mercy of other people’s nastiness, judgements, ill treatment or whatever else they use in their arsenal to hurt their fellow human beings. I no longer allow ‘would be bullies’ the power to put me down.  This in turn has helped me leave the bullied and powerless child and teen that I was, in the past.

So, my favourite thing about me is my ability to express myself. Without my words I think I would have retreated away from the world, but with them I managed to move forward, find confidence, courage and a place for me regardless of where I am. They allowed me to; challenge myself, to discover, to develop and to achieve, not only just to stand up for myself! Using words to my advantage has had a massive impact on me and my life.

Am I ready to storm that centre stage? Well, I am not adverse to the suggestion any longer, thanks to my words!

The Daily Prompt – Polite Company

“It’s never a good idea to discuss religion or politics with people you don’t really know.”

Agree or disagree?

‘David Cameron, ummmm, who is he again?’

‘Barack Obama, the name is familiar; isn’t he an actor or something?’

‘Have you seen last night’s episode of The Biggest Loser?’

Reasons why we shouldn’t be afraid of talking politics or religion to people we don’t necessarily know, well, just look at the above statements if you need convincing.

What is wrong with talking politics or religion? Isn’t that what people have always done for centuries? Isn’t that how the world has changed, and things have progressed; by developing ourselves through knowledge, and taking an interest in what is going on around us? Aren’t politics and religion what has bound societies together in the first place?

Why not talk about either topic; they are after all parts and parcel of our everyday lives. We can’t stay immune from the tendrils of religion or politics invading upon our lives at some point, and in some form.

Why can’t we remain immune? Well, because religion and politics remain the two great fundamental pillars in our societies; where most topics and situations spring from. Both topics have spurred on and driven; rights, laws, culture, history, art, sociology, poetry, philosophy and so on and so on.

Then how can we avoid someone talking to us about these great fundamentals? We can’t, simple!

If it is a prerequisite to be firm friends or family before we can talk religion or politics, what other topics are off limits too? Maybe we should confine our ‘polite’ conversation merely to comments regarding the weather. NO, PLEASE, NO!!!!!

I know that religion and politics revolve around opinions, and these can bore people (poor things); but do we embargo other topics too as they rely on opinions also?! NO, we don’t!

I have had plenty of random people talk away to me about whatever was on their minds at the time, and no, they didn’t know me! Yet, that sporadic, general splurge of conversation and opinion sharing amongst one another is part of our natures, and it brings us together. I think someone talking to me about politics or religion, whether they are friends, acquaintances or even a stranger, is wonderful and it shouldn’t be denied!

It shows enthusiasm for something more profound than the usual consumerism, image obsession, inane television programmes, getting drunk and having sex with strangers.

If it was a choice between talking to someone or anyone about inane television programmes or politics and religion, I know which I’d choose!

I maybe dismissed as an ‘armchair’ politician or religious zealot (which I am not by the way), but then there are worst things in the world to be categorised as. I’d prefer that, then not knowing anything about the world I live in. I prefer to have the interest and knowledge rather than to be ignorant.

Why can’t we just feel free enough to speak our words to anyone, and anywhere?

There is after all freedom of speech; so say what you want, to who you want and when you want to. Don’t apologise for it!

I for one am tolerant of random political or religious chit chat, so PLEASE continue!

***Above image came from –  http://prairiefirenews.com***

One Moment In Time

I always remind myself of this whenever I am tempted to wish my life away, which in past years was on a weekly basis (I think it was one of my favourite past times actually)!

When I think back on this it makes me sad that I didn’t or couldn’t value where I was, and what I had because I allowed external factors to rule my roost!

There are so many, maybe too many stresses and strains in daily life. They cause us all to think; ‘can’t wait until 5.00’, ‘can’t wait until later’, ‘can’t wait until weekend’. Yet, why can’t we just settle for being in the moment we inhabit for once, and accepting that?

We rarely pause, think, take stock and allow ourselves to breathe. We seem to battle against life, fear it as an enemy working against our best laid plans. It is a roller coaster we cannot control or shout out to stop it’s momentum carrying us off before we are ready.

In short; life controls us and we don’t control it.

Why are we all so uncomfortable just being?

As I was constructing this post I couldn’t help but think of this poem by William H Davies;

Leisure,
by William H Davies:

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Its time to stand and stare people! Go on, just do it; you know you want to……………….

One Billion Rising

“On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, 2.14.13, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. ONE BILLION RISING will move the earth, activating women and men across every country. V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders”.

Help put an end to rape and violence by joining One Billion Rising. Take a stand against these vile crimes today.

Take a look at the link below. This cause is a great way to raise awareness of the violence and abuse women face daily across the world.

One Billion Rising

I wonder how many women and men will ‘Stand’ up on 14th Feb and be counted???????