Big Brother Is Watching You

I expected to face some scrutiny upon returning to the UK and gaining any form of employment. However, what I have come up against during this last week has taken the biscuit. It has surpassed everything I thought possible when I consider security checking processes. It has made me question just how much Big Brother does watch us, and how much Big Brother would like to watch us if legally they could.

Basically the main issue I am facing is the fact I lived abroad for the last 3 years. Here in the UK it seems that the system, and those in control of it, won’t be happy with anything they can’t fully qualify or quantify. If they feel they are unable to track me from my first day living abroad to my last, they aren’t happy. They immediately feel suspicious that they are dealing with a criminal or a terrorist.

Now I have provided all the information required of me, everything necessary to prove I am not a criminal or a terrorist. This information is exhaustive, never ending and ever changing. I have forwarded references from the UK and abroad, proof of addresses for the last 5 years, photographic ID, passport number, National Insurance Number, my foreign residency details, my overseas police check, gone through the process of completing a UK police check, provided certificates and verifying emails, even 3 years bank statements with explanations of deposits and declaration documentation.

Yet, regardless of all this I still haven’t received an all clear that they have enough proof to state that I am who I am and that I am not a criminal or a terrorist.

What more can I do? What else can I produce? Perhaps they may wish to polygraph me or send me to a detention centre and beat the living daylights out of me until they are satisfied I’m not a threat to the UK!!!

I am a UK national too; born and bred in the UK! I have lived, worked, been educated and paid my dues to the UK, but the moment I decided to relocate because of better opportunities, and then I decided to return, it was as though that this act alone automatically made me a criminal.

I am angry beyond belief that these checks are so intrusive and demand such confidential information (bank account details for one). I have jumped over their every hurdle and still may not be cleared for work in my chosen field, which is at the moment within the financial sector. I have expressed my concerns, but to no avail. I have just had to smile and face the fact that this background checking company hold my entire life at their fingertips. I also have no real guarantees that the information I have provided will be secure and confidential; that I won’t have some disgruntled employee selling on all my confidential details to the highest bidder

This makes me wonder what will happen if I do fail!? I state now, there is NO reason for me to fail. I have given them every piece of evidence as required to prove that I am not a threat, not a criminal and not a terrorist – two police checks surely are sufficient enough for this?! Ironically, if I wanted to work with children and young people, I am now officially cleared to do so. I am fully security checked and Okayed; minus the confidential intrusion and masses of information required for a job with money!!! The welfare of people is obviously not as important as other people’s money!!

So, how much more can Big Brother demand of me before I scream and tell them to get lost and keep their job?! I’m not sure. All I know is that if I do fail the security checking processes it poses a massive question as to the success and validity of their actual processes, and also I am left wondering what unjust repercussions that black mark will have for my continued career? I am left wonder if the worst does come to the worst, not only will I be left without my promised job, but how will I then reverse that wrongly received condemnation and prove I am innocent and not a criminal or a terrorist?

This background checking company basically have my life in their hands, and hold my future too. If they condemn me how can I say they were wrong, how can I then prove I am innocent? Where would my authority come from to challenge them when it is their purpose to prove people’s innocence??

For me it makes me sick to think that one company has that much power over any one person’s life. They are after all fallible and can either way make mistakes. It proves to me that Big Brother does call the shots and that the little people, the decent, honest and hard-working will always come off the worst against such unstoppable and rubber stamped force.

This is how the innocent are treated, God help the guilty!

I can only sit and wait and hope that all of this ends, and that by tomorrow I receive my much deserved security clearance.

If not, I have a whole new fight on my hands, which will lead me into uncharted territories.

This Girl Can

I have now relocated back to the UK. I have left my old life in Madrid behind me with plenty of fond memories stored away for reflection.

As sad as I am to be beginning again away from a city I called home for over three years, I realise change is inevitable and life goes on. One chapter closes and another one opens.

I was fully prepared to make my return to the UK though. Months before my arrival here I had been applying for work, and also returned last year to complete volunteer work and gain UK references.

Even so it has been a upheaval. It is a shock to the system and emotionally I have felt uncertain, sad and lost. Not to mention that now I am here I am currently living out of suitcases in a hotel!! Although it is a nice hotel, with a fabulous gym and restaurant, it isn’t home. Until I find a place to rent, as my house is now tenanted, I won’t feel as settled as I would like. I miss my things; everything I own remains in storage, and I have no car. Here I need a car!!! I am relying on unreliable and terrible public transport in what is always a gloomy and cold UK winter!!

I certainly don’t need my sunglasses here!!

I have also discovered that job hunting in the UK has become far more difficult than I recall. As I have lived abroad I forgot how much the UK (powers that be), like to be able to track their citizens whereabouts.The need for four plus references, consecutive references, personal references, recent experience, ability to do jobs without training, skills have to match exactly to every job applied for, full employment history track, police checks, address histories, credit checks, ID checks and so on and so on is exhaustive. Paperwork galore to prove I wasn’t some criminal Drug Lord on the run in Madrid, or whatever else!!

I have come to realise how many barriers exist for people who actually are seeking work in the UK. I wonder just how anyone who has lived abroad, is foreign, been unemployed or can’t prove their history ever finds any work here. Especially when every job application requires something new as proof of who and what you are.

Sometimes a person just can’t prove their every movement in life, sometimes a person doesn’t have that ability!!!!! Life isn’t so smooth or easily categorised and dissected!!!

On the upside, I have found a job. I have gone through the exhaustive application process and personal / police checks. I now hope, and keep fingers crossed, that everything I have done (checks included) will be sufficient enough to allow me to actually begin the job as agreed in March.

I must admit I am looking forward to being able to regain my own financial independence. Just working in a stable environment whereby I move towards something and progress makes me feel more settled and optimistic about being here.

Oh, and because of the fabulous hotel gym, I have taken my fitness routine to a new level. Getting up early and hitting the gym is actually helping me feel happier, mentally and emotional ready, more positive and allowing me to hone my focus regarding the chaos of everything else going on around me. I actually think I prefer the gym now to dancing and walking, the only thing missing is my boxing classes!!!

So, all that has been done and dusted and now I have to wait and see what the next few months ahead will bring for me and my life. I hope that all will be good, end well and that life will be kind while I keep thinking “This girl can” regardless of what is thrown in my direction!!