Learning Gender Roles Via The BBC

The BBC have recently been accused of sexism with their remake of children’s classic Topsy and Tim.

It was claimed by parents that the BBC misinterpreted the original children stories, and chose instead to reinforce traditional gender stereotypes, which were being aimed at very young children. The charecter Tospy is a little girl who is seen baking princess cakes with her Mum, while her Brother Tim is informed baking is not for him. As a boy he can play outside on his bike or help his Dad with “mans work”.

I wondered, as I have on many occasions before, how do we learn our ‘gender roles’? Is it nature or nurture, and how can we be sure?

Thinking of my own childhood, I recall never being compelled by my parents to be particularly ‘girlie’, and naturally I wasn’t this way either. I was always encouraged to just be me, and perhaps by being a headstrong child who knew what I liked, pressures to be ‘girlie’ (if they existed), never affected me. I therefore feel surprised that in the 21st century children are still being encouraged to mimic, and reflect, what their own parents deem to be acceptable gender specific stereotypes. It just seems almost self defeating and rather odd.

Why would any parent force their child to be anything, and ruin their own child’s ability to blossom and develop naturally, free of preconceived ideals laid down throughout the eons?!

What is so terrible about girls playing with cars and bikes, and boys playing with kitchens and dolls? Surely having diverse skills and interests make for more rounded and capable future adults?

I know if I had children, I would indeed encourage them to be them; who else can they be after all!

Don’t get me wrong, their is nothing wrong with traditional gender roles, if those people performing those roles are happy enough to do so. Yet, there is nothing wrong with mixing it up either!

Living in Madrid I see many more examples of the conventional family unit than I do in the UK. The wife cooks, cleans, takes care of the house and kids, while the man works, is head of the household, applies the discipline and often the education of the kids. This is almost expected and seen as the social norm.

Now my household has never been quite like this, to the surprise of the people I meet in Spain. People are shocked that I am interested in politics, and also that my degree, career and writing all have a political grounding. I have actually been told how unusual it is for a girl! Obviously they haven’t heard of Emily Pankhurst, Simone de Beauvoir, Eleanor Roosevelt, Margaret Thatcher, Naomi Wolf and Hilary Clinton; what about Eva Perón?

For me, applying any expectations upon a person, especially at a young and impressionable age, just becomes a simple case of the self fulfilling prophecy. You get what you expect. Women and men then become merely caricatures of their gender, nothing more than that! How can we then argue they are naturally as they should be?

Have women actually been able or allowed to genuinely break through that “glass ceiling”? Not if the 21st centuries depiction of gender is the reference point; a woman’s place is still at home, while the man still belongs to the world. This has to be true, the BBC even think so!

To be serious, in recent years it has been a giant step backwards for men and women alike. Adverts, marketing, media and society in general have peddled the over sexualisation of the younger generation. This has drip fed a generation with gender specific notions of beauty, relationships, sex and availability, youth, frivolousness, self obsession, celebrity culture, diets, gossip, fashion and materialism.

So, maybe reverting to the stereotypical gender roles is only the natural step forward from this re-education?

For me I feel it is difficult to distinguish, and therefore state concretely, how much of nature actually plays a part in a child’s socialisation, self perception and development. Especially with all the dross floating around their environment.

Think about how difficult it is for us as adults to really separate ourselves, and our choices from all the expectations applied upon us, what we have seen, learnt, experienced and absorbed into our psyche?

If it is so difficult for us as adults, the question then remains; how can a child?

Nature v’s nurture, for me there is no real contest to contest!

The Real Deal

A few weeks prior I decided to join a meet-up group by the name of ‘Positive Thinking’. I was particularly drawn to this group, to the ethos of being positive, and what wonders awaited upon adopting such an affirmative outlook on life, self and the world.

I suppose with feeling that I myself had been, and was going through many changes, that this group came about at the right moment. It had something to offer me.

Coincidence, well it could be described as such, yet, I don’t think so. I don’t believe in such things, as for me, everything happens for a reason within your life.

Now learning that such things as ‘coincidences’ (not quite worded as such), actually have a place within the theory of positive thinking, added extra weight to the notion that everything does happen for a reason. This group perhaps had made itself known to me, because it had something that I was looking for.

‘The Laws Of Attraction’, ideas currently being utilised by Abraham Hicks, AKA Esther Hicks (the motivational speaker and author); explained such ‘coincidences’. Although, the actual ideas, and terminology had been conceived of long before Mrs Hicks began talking about them.

Now, until the Positve Thinking group, I knew nothing of Mrs Hicks or any of the theories surrounding being positive! Yet, having read, listened and watched more about the topic, I realise what they ‘preach’ are things I always suspected to be the truth about us and life. It seemed therefore, Hicks et al had hit the nail on the head, it was the real deal so to speak.

Perhaps what they are selling is merely a sort of sense? A sense we all have about us, our lives and our place in the world. It is perhaps a sort of order to the universe or us as energy.

Allowing ourselves, our perceptions, minds, hearts and whatever else to be open to ideas; to make decisions, to choose to know what it is we want from ourselves, and from others and our lives. This all helps to obviously point us in some direction. Yet, what makes things come to us just when we seem to need them the most?

Basically; like attracts like. We get what we give, or put out into the ‘vortex’ of energies surrounding us all. Our energy effects all energy around us.

I feel this is true.

What you expect will be confirmed; in a way it is similar to a self fulfilling prophecy (a sociological theory).

Now I see that Mrs Hicks has a real good, and dependable money spinner going on here. They never deviate from the message (like preaching), they repeat the same things (like indocrination), they never offer an exact solution (like therapists), it could be a placebo effect (like some medicines), and basically – it has all the whisltes and bows of any good self help mantra.

Yet in stating all of these things, if it works for some people then why not consider it? Why dismiss it all as hokum until you try it?

As I have mentioned already, most of it makes sense! The stuff being discussed are things you will indetify with, you will no doubt have thought about already.

The topics Mrs Hicks discusses actually pull some things together. For me it helped, as I reconsidered things in life from a different perspective. Or, more precisely, from a perspective I had all along (in some form – don’t necessarily buy into it all). Hearing the seminars, it gave some of what I had already been thinking credibility/acknowledgment. Don’t get me wrong here I am no new age guru follower, or converted disciple or trying to sell any one idea! I just find the concepts of positive thinking, and laws of attraction to be interesting, appealing and useful.

However, the BIG question surrounding all of these ideas/theories still remains unanswered. If everything we need is there for us, out there in the universe, and all we have to do is in effect ‘will’ it to us, why aren’t we all happy, healthy and wealthy?

I can’t provide one air tight, logical or rational explanation for this disparity in life. The best I can do is suggest that we, and our lives are all different; and as with any feel good therapy, I don’t have to explain myself more than that!

What I do know, from my own experience is; like or need attracts like or need, your connections in life are with those who connect to you, mind can win over matter, positive can help you overcome the worst situation, being open to new experience is far more rewarding than hiding away, being clear on your own desires helps you find ways to make those desires a reality, and knowing yourself is the best way to help yourself. All of this wisdom courtesy of little ol’ me, ummm, perhaps self help or life coaching should be my new life goal!

Seriously though, positive thinking is my new way forward. Of course I can’t be; doped up with a silly grin, not a care in the world and never angry, positive ALL of the time, every hour of day! Now that would be silly to expect. Yet, I am trying to increase the positive injections and decrease the negative ones! I hope this change in my internal balance will help readjust some stuff, and steer me clearer on a clearer path.

How about you give it a go too? Go on and do it, and see what, if anything, changes for you.

Breaking Bad Becomes Child’s Play

Breaking Bad ‘Lego’ set 🙂

What do thinking of these ‘Bricking Bad’ toys?

These ‘toys’ have been modelled upon the Breaking Bad series. Yes, the Crystal Meth lab, and all the characters of the series included; in fact, every last detail has been faithfully recreated in miniature LEGO format!

Crazy fun ‘eh?!

‘Bricking Bad’ was being marketed to the ‘LEGO’ company, but strangely they refused to see the the funny side of it all.

LEGO therefore turned down the opportunity, of what would no doubt have been lucrative sales, deeming association with such a ‘rip-off’ product as akin to sleeping with the devil.

The tweeters were twittering with indignation over the inappropriate nature of it all too (no doubt what eventually swayed LEGO’s final decision). All the social networking tribes set to work to shun ‘Bricking Bad’, before it could filter through to corrupt the young people of today!

I think this is totally off the mark, I mean what six year old’s toy box would be complete without such a unique item? How to cook Meth, isn’t it what every parent hopes their child will learn, and then recreate in their teen years! Don’t ridicule, it could be a good option in such an economic climate!

For me, I see this as an adult/collectors item, obviously! It was never likely to be marketed as anything more than a novelty item for a model shop, rather than a toy shop.

Yet, to be serious, with all the uproar this product has received you’d think the young of today led sheltered lives, instead of being the informed and savvy socialistas they really are.

Good God, they learn about sex from the ages of five now, so, Crystal Meth is far from off limits for topics of convo, surely!!!

Anyway, I’d have bought a ‘Bricking Bad’ set, I can definitely see the cheeky side of it! Can you?

My Unique Selling Point

Image from: http://www.inboundpro.net

Having been a little angry recently, OK very angry recently, I thought I’d attempt to change my tune before I implode!! Hehe!!

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t resolved the issues that have prodded at my anger. I can’t yet, but I can at least try to delve into the positive side of life for a while to help me forget the bad 🙂

So, I began thinking about my ‘UNIQUE SELLING POINT’!!

In this post my USP is only for my reference, and not meant to impress or ‘WOW’ outside influences by relating to them my amazingness (I jest)!!! At this moment I just want to think about what I like about me, whether others will share the same opinion of me, who knows, I can’t say for sure!

USP is usually something economists or career guidance people chat about. It is unique to you, so only you know what makes you unique 🙂 In that, there is no wrong or right!!!! Yippeee!!!!! In this post I am assuming you are the product you are trying to sell to the world – which is I suppose exactly what we are and what we try to do!!

USP is important stuff then? Well, it is drawing others attention to your value or what you have that they need.

Yet, I do question it, just a teensy-weensy bit!!! Why should USP be used to buy and sell who you are – why should it be used to get others to invest in you??? Can’t it just be for you and you alone??? I mean if they need a USP to believe in you, then it says more about them that it does about you.

Anyway, just for the sake of this post, I am going to reveal (ta-da!!!) my USP. Even though I sometimes question the purpose of such one sided mechanisms of value, I do think it has a place in some circumstances (fickle eh? Not to be included in my USP)!!!! I suppose I just want to ensure we don’t become hung up on such things; it will never be the end of the world if a USP reveals we are not ALL singing and dancing geniuses!!!

OK – lets talk ME!!!! I feel I have many qualities depending on the circumstances those qualities are being assessed within. I think it isn’t so easy to sum up everything I have to offer the world (see, I can be positive when I need to be)!!!!!!

Anyway just to appease the topic of this post here are some of my USP’s (you might or might not be interested)!!!

**I am great at adapting to any situation**

**I am excellent at communication ~ I love to talk & explain**

**I am empathetic and can listen to what is being said**

**I can sing (oh yes I can)!**

**I have lived in the real world (interpret that how you want to)**

**I have a capacity to learn things & very quickly**

**I have a god memory, especially for faces (I should have joined the police)**

**I possess intuitive skills, which have helped me out on many occasions**

**I am affable, but not weak**

So, these are some of my USP’s;

BUT, WHAT ARE YOURS?????????????????????

What do you have to offer that makes you stand out from the herd????

What makes you you???? 

Do you ever consider your USP????

One Billion Rising

“On V-Day’s 15th Anniversary, 2.14.13, we are inviting ONE BILLION women and those who love them to WALK OUT, DANCE, RISE UP, and DEMAND an end to this violence. ONE BILLION RISING will move the earth, activating women and men across every country. V-Day wants the world to see our collective strength, our numbers, our solidarity across borders”.

Help put an end to rape and violence by joining One Billion Rising. Take a stand against these vile crimes today.

Take a look at the link below. This cause is a great way to raise awareness of the violence and abuse women face daily across the world.

One Billion Rising

I wonder how many women and men will ‘Stand’ up on 14th Feb and be counted???????

The Perfect Woman, PLEASE!

OK, I thought I was going to sign out and just continue in a holiday haze, yet, the lure of that wicked Facebook drew me in again, drat!!!!!

I had to share this with you all as it infuriates me!!!!!!!!

What is this??? Window shopping for eye candy or a side show in non-reality (male equivalent fairy stories)??????

Does this person exist, erm, well the title is surely a give away; ‘Anatomy of a Perfect Woman’! As though one of those exists outside the realms of Photoshop!!!!!

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but women are human too!!! We have spots, bad breath, have hairy bodies, wrinkles, saggy bits, have periods, we sweat, we get angry, we diet and dye our hair, we apply make-up and we don’t laugh at inane jokes! WE ARE PEOPLE NOT OBJECTS like manikins in shop windows, if you don’t like that REALITY then sling your hook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I DON’T want to put down ALL men! I am aware there are PLENTY of GOOD GUYS out there who are lovers of ALL WOMEN and don’t treat woman like objects! Not all men think like Men’s Health magazine think they do, nor are they all idiots who only think in such shallow terms.

However, there are men out there who do.

I suppose I am fed up with hearing SOME men’s scrutinising perspectives and assumptions on women.

I wonder if, and what the Woman’s Health magazine say about their perfect man????? Nothing I suppose, because woman aren’t supposed to want one of those, we should accept a man as a man. ALSO, a perfect man doesn’t exist, there isn’t one out there!!!

The reason for this is REALITY; WE ARE ALL PEOPLE, men AND woman alike! We are different and more than just what we look like!!!!!!!! I mean Prince Charming doesn’t exist, us ladies learn that one quick enough. I just wish some men would learn that Princess Charming doesn’t exist either, it would do them a HUGE favour!

Is This A Joke?

WTF???!!!

Is this above Tom Ford advert sexy? Would it seduce you into purchasing the item being sold, which is if you haven’t figured it out a men’s cologne? Is the advert for real or maybe it is a joke? If it is a joke who is the one being laughed at?

I wonder has advertising finally scraped the bottle of the barrel, is this as low, literally, as it can go?

I don’t see the need to advertise anything in this vile and crude fashion. Can’t advertising sell anything unless overt sexual connotations are attached? If they can’t, then maybe what is being marketed isn’t worth buying!

I know this advert is aimed at men and no doubt made to shock, stand out and insight arousal; but I just don’t get it! I know people will no doubt say; ‘sex sells so how can you be shocked or upset by this image in today’s society?’ Well, why shouldn’t we be? Why should it be OK to advertise in this way? Why do I have to be ‘cool’ with seeing woman portrayed as nothing more than their breasts and vagina?!

Yes, we have seen these lady parts before, yes as women we all have these parts, but my God I don’t want to see these parts large as life everywhere and all the time? It doesn’t turn me on, it doesn’t appeal to me.

A woman’s perfume would never be marketed this way; IE, a man in such poses. So, what does that say about how a woman is perceived in marketing?

Objectification of women as sex objects, women made into an ‘it’ or is this a damn good marketing technique to appeal to men?????? You better decide, as I for one am at a loss with this.

The Publishing Ladder

This post comes as part of a response I made to ‘And the Winner Is…Self-Publishing’ a post by Jessica Vealitzek (http://jessicavealitzek.com/), which was regarding the route to publishing written work.

My comment:

‘I think not enough personal journeys in this area are documented (regarding people’s experiences with trying to publish work); so many people just need good and honest advice on this (the route to publishing) to save wasted time and frustration! Oh, I have a question; do you know whether there is a ‘collective’ of writers who are looking to be published? What I mean is, other people in similar situations who want to get published, and who can pull together pooling their resources; knowledge, contacts and abilities, which could aid a publishing objective?? Does that make sense or am I rambling?? It would be like a group of people working together for a common purpose; making a website to put the work on, to do the advertising and networking to get interest for ALL of their work?? I don’t know, might be a crazy or illogical idea, but more minds might be better than one to unravel the publishing conundrum; on-line or via a traditional route! More voices shouting out louder surely have to be heard! I don’t know! Just a thought I came up with!’

I then posted another response to Jessica stating I would do some research into the above, to check if such ‘support’ was out there for writers. To be honest I wondered whether my take of a ‘collective’ of writers wasn’t just ‘independent publishers’, and the beginnings of what we recognise as traditional publishing houses.

Anyhow, I have managed to complete some research, and found some links regarding ‘collectives’ or ‘cooperatives’. I have also looked at what advice is out there for people who are trying to get published, and the ‘pros and cons’ of the online publishing route too.

AUTHOR COOPERATIVES:

1: http://authorselectric.blogspot.co.uk/

2: http://awesomeindies.wordpress.com/
There are hurdles in place for wannabe writers on this site; jump over these and then they may consider reviewing your work.

3: http://www.wordswithjam.co.uk
Submissions for short stories with a word limited of 2500, but they also look for new article writers for their blog.

4: http://www.bookviewcafe.com
Members only publishing cooperative.

5: Yahoo groups: for example there are Indie Authors Forum and Indie Romance Authors – these offer tips/tricks for one another’s work.

6: http://www.rockitreads.com/
All genre Romance; for work that is self published and on-line already.

7: http://thirsteditions.com
Closed to submissions, no unsolicited manuscripts; ummmm, this sounds familiar!

8: http://www.leagueofextraordinaryauthors.com/

9: http://allianceindependentauthors.org/about.html
Seems to be most inclusive site; they encourage new authors, give advice and will review their work. Yippee!!

The author cooperatives I have read about, and discovered through my research are not really an open forum for the everyday writer struggling out there. They are closed shops; where you would have had to have been a member from the beginning, been in on the formation of the cooperative. In other words, author cooperatives do seem to me to be a branch of independent publishing. They will only promote their own work, and are not really willing to share their knowledge or give advice and tips to other writers.

I must admit I am more frustrated by discovering this, and disheartened somewhat. I am aware there are an abundance of people writing, and possibly too many to ensure that they all get published. I am aware that masses of time and resources have to go into the; proof reading, editing, providing advice and tips and even promotion of work, and passing on author’s work to possible publishers. Yet, surely there could be some services dedicated to this, and this alone; to enable more new author’s to actually get published in one format or another!!

So if there are no open cooperatives that authors can join, then where is the progress?

What are the options out there for help, support and advice for wannabe authors?
The answer, well, there doesn’t seem to be much of any of that available.

Why is it so difficult for ordinary people to get on the ladder of being published and then achieve their goal?

The Ladder of Success

Perhaps it is because writing is comparable to the art world. Experts deem one type of art is the only one correct, and therefore the only one worthy of the title of art, of accolades and praise. Yet, isn’t there beauty in all art? Writing is the same as art; freedom of expression, individuality and passion. Whose job is it to say what is valid? Who has the sole authority to sanction what is good enough, and then dismiss every other writer, novel or a piece of work? These experts only know the genres or work they are familiar with; it is only their individual opinion after all! That doesn’t mean what is being written outside of these opinions, labels and boxes is wrong or not a valuable piece of work. There is surely volumes of written jems going unnoticed, all because of stringent rules and guidelines and people’s opinions; oh, not to mention the fact that there are not enough people willing to read new writers work or offer any help.

People always say that you can only write from your heart, about what you know, to please yourself; but still these publishing hurdles stating what work is acceptable are placed in the path of potential writers. You have to face word limitations, genre limitations, plot limitations, structure limitations and so on and so on. How is this art? How is this expression?

I am no literary critic, my degree is in Politics not English Literature, I am no expert on how to write a novel; so does that naturally mean any work I produce won’t be valid? I have no one to direct me, no place to go for advice and I don’t have any relevant networks in the publishing world to call a favour from; so that means I haven’t a cat in Hell’s chance of getting anything published?

Maybe I need to begin my own author’s cooperative!!

Having somewhere people can get information from; clear and simple advice which is free and honest, hints and tips to move themselves, and their work on and into the publishing world is essential!!!!!

Yet, it doesn’t seem to exist! What I have been reading about the publishing world and even the ‘cooperative’ world is confusing and conflicting. There are opinions, and lots of them, from people who already have the deal sown up. Yet, these people aren’t willing to share, to help others even try to get on that ladder that they have already climbed!!!! WHY???

THOUGHT OF PUBLISHING ON-LINE?

There are so many hurdles and gatekeepers to the knowledge, and advice you require to move on with your quest to publish. How can you over come no support or advice? What do you do to get noticed, to get popular and published?

Well, many see self publishing a route to change the goal posts set by traditional publishing houses. Online is an option to open the fair playing field and create the equitable, even for the most ordinary of author’s running around about their daily business, and 9-5 work routines!

In fact a growing number of authors have decided to become editor, designer, marketer and sales director for their own ebooks. In return for this hard slog, instead of a modest advance, plus the 8%–15% royalty from a traditional publisher, a self-published author may enjoy royalties of 70% that is if their book is sold at a certain price (£1.49 to £7.81) on Kindle.

Self-published authors can also see their ebooks in high-street shops too. Apparently Waterstones recently made a deal with rival Amazon to sell Kindles and ebooks through its 300 stores.

Yet, it is still the case that the MOST successful self-published ebooks spring from POPULAR and ENTRENCHED genres with large online communities such as; fantasy, erotica, chick-lit, horror and crime thrillers.

To be noticed you need to stand out online. Keywords rule the day; tags and search engine optimisation has never been more important. Distinctive is good, but baffling is not.

If online is the way to break the publishing mould then every author SHOULD create a website (well, that is what the experts advise). An online presence being essential for a new author, because when people buy your book they want to find out more about you. A website is seen as the essential sales and marketing platform. This might be part a parcel of the serious self-publisher.

Another element to be being serious and professional when it comes to self publishing is recruiting the help of external editors, proofreaders and especially cover designers. Is this what ‘self publishing’ means? Well, if you want to make on average 34% more from your ebook sales, yes, you’ll recruit! So merely writing, and completing your book isn’t the end of the fight; production and marketing are still waiting for the next bout to begin.

You see readers care about formatting and proofreading. Sloppy work will get mentioned in any reviews and it will hurt your sales. Although help need not be expensive, why not get potential readers to proof read your work?!

Still, do you know who to go to for help with your website, proof reading, editing and graphic artwork input for that cover?? Seems like its more calling on who you know, or researching and hoping there will be help out there for a nominal fee.

ISN’T THIS ON-LINE PUBLISHING SUPPOSED TO BE EASY?!

After all of this work, how then do you get interest in you and your work from on-line communities? How about sending a review request document to bloggers who have written reviews about books in your genre??? Choose THE most relevant bloggers. Treat it like a sales pitch, and a personalised request is the most persuasive; so is one including details about your book and links to any previous reviews, Twitter feeds and websites to encourage the bloggers interest. Offers of interviews or guest blogs may also work in your favour to provide marketing for your work.

Are you wondering how to find the right audience online though? Well, there are ways and means to get anything, for a price. Marketing software called Tweet Adder enables you to make contact with people who follow other authors in the same genre as you.

Yet, isn’t promoting yourself or your product via Twitter merely spam? There is a fine line yes, and the information on the etiquette of this is conflicting (what a surprise)! Some experts say it is appropriate to promote your work 5 times a day, but others say once an hour. So, depending on your view this marketing technique alone could become a full time job!

It is up to you how far to take the online networking though, as a recent Verso survey estimated that barely 12% of books are discovered from social networks. 50% are still discovered from the old fashioned word of mouth, or personal recommendations.

OK, then what about freebies?? How about giving your ebook away FREE online for a limited time only?? Crazy, yeah? No, as this trick could boost sales once you sell it at its intended price.

SO, THE FUTURE IS BRIGHT, THE FUTURE IS ON-LINE?

The future seems to be one where authors will prove their merit in the self-published world of the internet, before they are snapped up by mainstream publishers. Maybe for some, yet not all self publishers are making it ‘big time’ I.E earning more than say a person could in a ‘normal’ 9-5.

A survey of 1,007 self-published writers, by the way it is one of the most comprehensive insights into the growing market to date; found that while a small percentage of authors were bringing in sums of $100,000 plus, average earnings were just $10,000 a year in 2011. In fact LESS than 10% of the survey earned LESS than $500.

Apparently, if it is the big money you want then you SHOULD focus on self publishing Romantic fiction. Romance authors earned 170% more than their peers, while authors in other genres fared much worse; science-fiction writers earned 38% of the $10,000 average, fantasy writers 32%, and literary fiction authors just 20% of the $10,000 average.

More statistics of success for you; if you are female, educated and in your early 40s great news, ebook success could be yours! Top earners who could live off their earnings were 68% female and 33% of these had a degree. High earners also dedicated more of their time to their writing, churning out 2,047 words a day. Money makes money, perhaps!

ANSWERS PLEASE!!!!!!

Sorry, no REAL answers, and no REAL comprehensive advice or support. It is all a bit vague, and confusing. Negotiating the myriad of the ‘shoulds’ and ‘musts’ of the publishing world are difficult. Whether on-line or via the traditional publishing houses, the obstacles seemed not to have really changed; different settings, yes, but the hoops and hurdles remain the same!

The language of publishing is shrouded in secrecy; how, when, what, who, blah and blah, it is just not quantified enough. It’s an unknown and closed circle of information, there are no guarantees, and little communication; really no one wants to help. I would like to see the doors to being published opened to the normal people, give them a chance too!!! I wish I could make my own cooperative, where advice and proof reading options could be available, but I don’t have the expertise! I am infuriated by the lack of clarification, support and publishing opportunities available to new writers; I wish I could change it!! The doors shut outweigh the doors open, and it’s about time this changed.

What I mean is; if you wanted to be a Doctor or Teacher or another type of professional, would the career path and way to achieve your goal be so uncertain? Would the doors be closed and the chances of success so slim? Would it be shrouded in mystery, confusing, surrounded in baffling opinions and information? Would it be the case that plenty has been documented about the career, but not enough, not the exact of how to actually achieve it!

No, I don’t think so.

There would be the help and support required; there would be information available which is clear and concise. The routes of how to begin that career would be set out for all to see.

Wanting to be a writer is akin to wanting to walk on the Moon; it’s a great pipe-dream, but what is the likelihood of that ever happening? Ummm, about a billion to one I think!

Understand what I mean?

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The Media and Double Standards – The Joke Is On Women.

I was watching an interview with Writer Seth MacFarlane a few weeks ago, whilst answering one of the questions asked him, half way through he uttered an expletive. The interviewers were aghast and immediately lurched forth with profuse apologies for MacFarlane’s mistake; insisting he hadn’t meant it and that he hadn’t realised what he had said was wrong. MacFarlane was shocked by their response, you could visibly see it; I suppose he hadn’t realised UK audiences are ‘anal’ about swear words being spoken on television. His retort to all of this panic was something I have always agreed with, but it has never been said as a response on television; ‘oh so I can’t say a rude word, but it is OK for breasts to be shown in UK newspapers and magazines’. Needless to say the interviewers didn’t reply to this.

Yet, it is a question that needs answering as it is a contradiction we all accept. It is pathetic and unjustified; no swearing and yet there are far worse things getting aired via the media, oh, and going on daily throughout the world! For Heaven’s sake people, get a grip, it is ONLY a word (swear)!

Double standards? I think so, but yet the UK seemingly thrive on that! Actions speak louder than words, and I’d prefer to hear a swear word being used than see the constant objectification of women on every advert, and in every magazine shoot! Hell, you only have to switch to MTV for a little bit of sex education; between gyrating and semi clad women to the explicit lyrics, sex is everywhere! However, I don’t see that being apologised for; but as usual any swear words mixed into the lyrics which glorify having sex, sex and more sex, are ‘bleeped’ out! Swear words are just a step too far, too obscene for viewers! The videos are OK though; women stripping, lap-dancing, being a sex object, being a sex toy, being cast as a dumb fool; but if they swear, well that won’t be tolerated!

Hey, no problem it is great demonstrating to everybody, mainly the young and impressionable that these ‘MTV’ roles represent all women are, and want to be. This is a must for every 5 year old’s education I am sure. MTV has no ‘watershed’, anyone can watch at any-time and be inundated with images of what women are good for, sex. Great self-esteem boost for all women out there; thanks MTV for pimping women as a ride!

I suppose people think I have a prudish outlook, you know what, I don’t care. The measure of me is not just my body parts, my female gender; I am a human and want to be treated with respect, and as a person with a brain! I personally don’t live my life to be in servitude to a man’s penis, although I do like sex, I am not an object!
I feel it is what we are subjected to daily that makes us believe what we see is acceptable, and is then adopted as the norm. We have been drip fed naked flesh and provocative images for so long we can’t remember life without them all. I just want to know why it is deemed necessary to sell; shower gel, coffee, trainers, washing powder, chocolate and God knows what else, with naked flesh and sexual invitation? Why does all this nakedness appear mostly on adverts aimed at women? Why are these images of rampaging, semi clad and sexually desperate women supposed to sell things? Who is identifying with them? What has any of it got to do with washing powder?

If you look at adverts from 10 years ago, there is a marked difference in today’s variety; the barriers of what is normal and accepted by the public are being pushed all the time. So subtle are the changes and developments that we don’t see it, we just accept it as the norm, see it as what society is like and we don’t question why. How further can it go? Will women just end up like meat on a stick; not human, but just worth their flesh?

I suppose we can’t now escape naked forms, and our enjoyment in seeing them all the time, well then, let’s have some fair sharing and distribution. More men on display and the ‘HOT’ variety please! Naked women are on show everywhere for everything; dancing to the tune of male advertisers and marketing execs, DJs, Rappers and so on and so on; if their lack of clothing has no link to subjugation, sexual pressure, objectification or dominance of fully clothed males over naked females, then why are there so few naked men?

If naked bodies and sex are cool, and the world is OK with them, why aren’t there more naked, gyrating men selling women products? Men in adverts, on television, in photo shoots; pandering to women’s sexual fantasies, being women’s sex toys, being objectified by women, losing dignity and self-respect for women’s needs. I wonder if those ridiculous double standards have anything to do with it; or maybe, it is because more men hold positions of power to decide what gets published, televised and so on? For example, the penis, adverts about condoms, the contraceptive pill and sexually transmitted diseases aren’t aired on the television or in magazines. Why are such things relegated to specific times and places; late nights, certain channels and magazines? I mean sex is everywhere, so surely we should see the other half of the species who have sex too, and not just the women of world being stripped bare? Surely we should all know about the male penis and condoms? We see sanitary products on the television all the time, but no condoms, no penis.

I wonder why half the population, who are women, are happy with this flaw. Liking sex, liking men, enjoying being seen as attractive or sexy, looking after your-self; all of this has nothing to do with despising objectification and subjugation. Being seen as a woman should be on your terms, not what a faceless industry tells you, no dictates that you are or should be. To me it seems they are destroying femininity, unpicking it with smut for money. It’s a cheap and nasty joke, which women are the brunt of. You’d think these industry men would have another punch line by now, but then, ‘small minds’ and all that!

Sexual, prude, foolish or subjugated; women’s limited roles in the media.

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© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.