Día de los Muertos y Dia de Todos Los Santos


This will be my first year experiencing Day of the Dead, All Soul’s Day/All Saints Day in Spain. Funnily enough I haven’t spoken to any of my friends here about what is usually done to celebrate in Madrid. So consequently I have done some research, and this is what I have come with.

Oh, an interesting note to add before hand; Día de los Muertos has an uncanny resemblance to original Celtic celebrations, which were also celebrated on November 1st. The Celtic peoples honoured their dead; believing that November 1st was a day of transition between the old and the new. The people made offerings to their dead of fruit and vegetables; as those who had died (the spirits) would travel to the land of the dead together.

Día de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) it is traditionally a Mexican holiday on November 1st; family and friends come together to pray for, and remember friends and family members who have died.

Traditions connected with this holiday include building private altars to honour the deceased using sugar skulls, marigolds, along with favourite foods and beverages of the departed. Visiting graves with these as gifts is part of the celebration too. They also leave possessions of the deceased at the grave.

This holiday has its origins dating back hundreds of years; Aztec festivals for the Goddess Mictecacihuatl were the inspiration.

Day of the Dead has connection with the Catholic holidays of All Soul’s Day on November 2nd.

In Spain Dia de Todos Los Santos (All Saint’s Day) is celebrated on November 1st. In Madrid the 1st has been declared as a holiday, and most businesses will be closed.

Ofrendas (offerings) are made on this day to the dead. Friends and families visit the graves of their loved ones; to pray for them, leave candles and flowers. People will travel back to their home-towns, and villages to offer their respects also.

Presents are often given to children too; usually sweets and toys (similar to Halloween).

Streets are congested with cars heading to the cemeteries, out of the city. Florists sell more flower arrangements than at any other time of the year. Bakeries produce special orders of specific pastries like Hueso de Santos (Saint Bones). This pastry is traditional and made of marzipan, egg and sugar syrup.

People in Spain are frequently named after a saint. As is the case in many other Catholic countries; consequently people have their birthday, as well as their saint day, in honour of the saint they were named after.

Another little fact to add is that the play ‘Don Juan Tenorio’ is also traditionally performed during this time in Spain. In fact, once a year for over a century this tradition had taken place!

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© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Cold Comfort – Welsh Ghostly Tales


It is Halloween tomorrow, and as a confirmed paranormal and supernatural fanatic I absolutely revel in all things strange and spooky! As it is a time to traditionally fear the undead that cannot rest easy in their graves; I want to relate some spooky tales to celebrate the occasion.

I am Welsh born and bred, so I thought what better tales to tell than some original Welsh ghost stories and legends.

I have selected only a handful of spooky tales, as there are just too many to note here! However, these stories hold special significance to me as they are my personal favourites; some of which I was told as a child. I have even visited some of these haunted locations myself, and can say they are quite unnerving places!

Legends:

Canwyll Corph (Corpse Candle)
Tradition dictates this was a pale light moving slowly above the ground, following a route from the house of a dying person to the Churchyard. Sometimes it was supposed to be possible to discover who would die, as the intended victim would appear as an ethereal form within the flame.

Other indications of the victim came in the form of the strength of the flame and its colour. If the flame glowed red it indicated the death of a man; a white glow indicated the death of a woman and a faint light indicated a child.

If two corpse candles were seen at the same time this was taken to indicate that two deaths would occur in the same household, at about the same time. If the corpse candle was seen early in the evening this indicated that the death would take place within a few days.

Gwyllgi (Dog of Darkness)
These terrifying apparitions took the form of a huge hound with a heavy fur coat and great glowing eyes.

The favourite ‘haunt’ of Gwyllgi were lonely Welsh country roads, of course at night-time.

These dog spectres were believed to be the devil himself chasing down his victims.

These ‘Devil Dog’ stories have been documented in many villages across Wales. In fact some lonely Welsh lanes are actually named after these legends; ‘Lon Bwbach Ddu’ (Lane of the Black Spectre) is one located outside a village called Marchwiel, North Wales.

The Devil Dog

Pwll-yr-Wrach (The Witch’s Pool)
Located on Flint Mountain, North Wales.

Legend has it that wraith like beings live under the waters of this pool, and wait patiently for their next unsuspecting victim.

In years gone by there have been many mysterious deaths associated with this particular area, most notably many drownings. There have been many strange appearances of ghostly apparitions documented too. Seemingly the spectres just appear from nowhere, and beckon people over to them as though they are lost and require help. Of course by going to help them, you in turn seal your own fate!

Beckoned to your death……

Devil’s Bridge
There are many local Welsh tales relating to ‘Devil Bridges’. In fact there is one such tale about a bridge near to where I used to live, but the story that follows is one of the oldest of such tales based high up in the hills of Aberystwyth, North Wales.

An elderly woman struck up a concord with the Devil himself one winter’s eve. Distressed that she had lost her cattle, which were stranded across a gorge, the Devil appeared to her and offered a solution.

The Devil said she should return the next morning, the bridge would be built, and he would then claim the first living thing to cross it. The woman agreed, and returning the next morning with her faithful dog as companion she couldn’t believe what she saw, a bridge.

The Devil eager to claim his own prize waited, but the old woman was wilier than he reckoned on. Throwing some food across the bridge her dog ran to retrieve it, the Devil then had his wish; but instead of the woman’s soul he had to make do with the dogs.

Haunted Inns:

The Skirrid Mountain Inn, Llanfihangel
The Inn also acted as the local Courthouse.

First entry relating to this place was in 1110 when a thief was hung for his crime inside the Inn.

In the next 800 years that followed a further 182 criminals met the same fate there.

Now it is the scene of many a paranormal investigations, it is supposedly extremely haunted. Visitors have reported feeling a noose being placed around their necks; the invisible rope actually leaves its mark around the new victim’s neck!

Haunted Graveyards:

St Mary’s Church, Minera.
This church was rebuilt as it stands today in 1865, but a place of worship existed on the site from 1577.

Supposedly this site is synonymous with black magic rituals and witchcraft; apparently a witch is buried within the grounds. There has also been reporting’s of people hearing a phantom train pass the churchyard; once the steam train ran adjacent to it. Local people have also seen ghastly apparitions dancing amongst the graves at dusk.

Manor Houses:

Plas Cadwgan Hall, North Wales
Built during the 16th Century by Welsh gentry.

This location had history of intrigue and violence from the first.

The area the Hall was eventually built on runs close to an old Roman burial site, and is located near the 8th century Offa’s Dyke, which is a site where many battles took place between the Welsh and the English. The site is also part of the old motte and bailey castle placed there as an English system of defence.

Once the actual Hall was built, the original inhabitants were part of the plot to place Mary Queen of Scots on the throne of England. The subsequent owners of the Hall were then involved in The English Civil War (actual tunnels were carved out underneath the property running underground as escape routes). There were many murders and suspicious deaths from the first.

Consequently this Hall was notorious for being haunted. Unseen coach and horses would enter the courtyard, people would run into the Hall in haste but there was no one to be seen, people could be heard walking and talking in the rooms, cries would be heard in the night; so on and so on.

This Hall no longer exists as it was demolished in the 1960’s; however a farm house now occupies the location. All that remains of the original Hall are the outbuildings, and even in modern times there have been deaths upon the site. In the late 1980’s a group of young boys were killed in one of the outbuildings in a freak accident.

Cadwgan Hall before being demolished in the 1960’s

Baron Hall, Beaumaris
Derelict and deserted, situated amid countryside. This house has a history of vampirism.

Apparently one of the young daughters from the ancestral Bulkeley family met a sinister death, and her spectre still roams the grounds.

The spectre is supposed to be a terrifying sight to behold, actually capable of scaring the observer to death. So much so that the area around is still unoccupied, and even to this day no one ventures near there at night.

Within the grounds there is the tomb, where the daughter’s body was interred; even today it is guarded with a sturdy door, bared, locked and bolted. The ruins of the house have been vandalised, but this tomb remains strangely untouched. Why?!

Baron Hall

Rofft Hall, North Wales.
Margaret Blackbourne of Rofft Hall was said to have been murdered in 1713 by her husband. She is often now referred to as “Lady Blackbird”.

The woman’s spirit was said to have been restless, the people believed she had become a vampire. This uneasy spectre was said to haunt the village of Marford, rapping upon the windows of the houses, begging to be let in.

Interestingly, the windows of the houses in the village dating back to this time, were all constructed with inbuilt crosses specifically designed to ward off Margaret’s uneasy ghost.

The spirit of the troubled Margaret – vampire perhaps?

Candelson Castle
Central to a lost village called Treganlaw (the town of a hundred hands).

Not much is know about what happened to the inhabitants of Treganlaw, although it is claimed that the village was buried under the sand dunes of Merthyr Mawr.

It is said that the castle and surrounding areas are haunted. Many old artefacts have been mysteriously found near the castle, and ghostly appearances are said to be frequent.

One of these artefacts is called the ‘Goblin Stone’. It is said that this object is haunted by a ghost that entices people to embrace it, thus entrapping them for all eternity.

Plas Teg, North Wales
A Jacobean Manor House, built by Sir John Trevor, a descendant of ancient Welsh gentry. He was Secretary to the powerful Lord Howard of Effingham at the court of the ageing Queen Elizabeth.

The house and the grounds have seen plenty of drama and violence. Not surprising that over the years tales of ghostly activities have been reported.

Paranormal investigations take place here regularly, and I have visited this house myself on many occasions. I can therefore say from personal experience, it does have an unnerving atmosphere.

Plas Teg ghosts include a drowned woman, a heart broken youth, a murdered wife, a vengeful husband, and the victims of hangings from the end of Judge Jeffries noose; even the oak staircase has a story. It is supposed to have been constructed from the timber remains of a ship from the Spanish Armada.

Plas Teg hall

The ‘Red House’, Denbigh Moors, North Wales
The ruin of a former hunting lodge, known as Gwylfa Hiraethog, situated close to a lonely pub called ‘The Sportsman’s Arms’.

Apparently ghostly spectres are seen wandering the ruins. Dark hooded figures with skull faces have been reported. People venturing there to look at the ruins have also reported feelings of hopelessness, suffocation, extreme panic and terror.

The Red House

Haunted Asylums:

Denbigh Asylum, North Wales
This building was built in 1848 with room for over 1,500 patients and 1,000 staff and it closed in 1995.

Supposed to highly haunted, and many paranormal investigations take place here.

The usual disquieting tales of spirits are reported.; crying, screaming, falling objects, rapping, banging, throwing of debris and so on and so on.

Denbigh Asylum

Wishing everyone a………

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Me, Myself and I Concur


I forgot about this post, but thanks to robertmgoldstein.com reminding me of my words, I remembered it and thought I’d
re-publish………..

I speak, you speak, they speak, we all speak; but do we even care what is being said?

Opinions; seem to be integrated into us, derived from who we are and what we know. Yet, they are subject to change. Opinions differ from person to person, context, situation and time. They can be fleeting or concrete. Yet what influences them to change? Is it because we are malleable and easily swayed when we come under pressure from others?

Do we willingly abandon our opinions when challenged? Should we?

As bloggers we all have plenty to say. I know I can’t get enough of opinions; mine and other peoples! I thoroughly enjoy writing opinions and reading them; new ideas, experiences and knowledge hold a wealth of inspiration for me. I actively seek out new blogs just to read what has been posted; I think I am addicted to the written word! I know I WOULDN’T want anyone to tame their opinion or tailor their words to please me. Yet, some people might not feel the same. Some people might only appreciate opinions that concur with their own.

So, what do we look for or find in other peoples words to make us think; ‘Hey I like what that person has to say’?

I know when I see something that strikes a chord within me; it makes me want to respond or react. It could be anything at anytime. Yet, is there a specific element that qualifies one opinion to hold more credence or appeal than another? Is there an essential mix that creates a good opinion? Can we ever all fully agree on one thing?

Is a good opinion one that matches with our own personal belief systems and affiliations? What encourages us to agree with another person; is it something we do because we feel in awe of that person? Perhaps, we want to reciprocate something they have done for us, so we agree with them? Or do we want to pay homage merely to feather our own nests?

Are some opinions more important to us than others?

Opinions are part of our ‘mundane’ every life. I mean, everyone has an opinion on something; what they prefer for breakfast and why, what country they like to visit for holidays and why, what political party they choose to follow and why. Yet, opinions are powerful if directed correctly; they change the way we perceive things and the world around us. Isn’t it therefore a privilege to be able to know what other people think or believe, even if we don’t concur?

Or, maybe every topic of conversation has already been covered so thoroughly, that now we are just reinventing the wheel by discussing the same things? Are opinions boring? I don’t think they are, but then that is my opinion!

It is highly therapeutic for me to share my words, and other peoples! Discussing and debating is part and parcel to my life, without these things it would be a dull existence. I urge people to speak their minds, and I listen carefully to what is being said even if I don’t agree. Likewise, I read carefully what is written.

Do we all truly hear the words being spoken or read the words written? Or do we switch off if the message conflicts with what we want to see and hear? Do we see and hear merely what we want to? Do we then misconstrue the message? Do we ever listen to others opinions and words; or are we all just waiting for our turn to speak?

Putting it simply; do we really care what others have to say or write?

I KNOW I CARE!! I hope I am not alone?!

Maybe you might think there are too many opinions, so many that they get lost in the background? Or is there not enough? What is missing in the grand world of opinions that needs to be said?

Any ideas to share???

 

The Opiate For The People – Capitalism and Its Control


One side of the Capitalist coin

Capitalism; our friend or foe? Its glory shines brightly, but not everyone basks in its radiance.

The reality behind the veil; in other words the myth Capitalism perpetuates to ensure us ordinary folk are kept in place, and toe the line.

The more we want the less we get, but the harder we’ll try regardless; determined to be what Capitalism says we can be – successful and rich.

After all, the free market is where competition is encouraged; anyone can be anything so long as they work hard for it. ‘The opiate for the people’, yes it is, that and popular culture.

With everyone striving to have 3D televisions and the next new BMW, no one is going to challenge the system or rock the boat.

If we all buy in to the ‘dream’ we are less of a threat, subdued and controlled.

Greed, and self deception = capitalisms best friend.

The other side of the Capitalist coin

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© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A Dedicated Follower of Fashion – Beau Brummell and the History of the Quintessential Man’s Suit.


The British Regency period (1811-1820: when The Prince of Wales became Prince Regent), has been described as the most explosive and creative.

Akin to the 1960’s; enormous changes in culture and society all fused together in one enormous burst of energy.

The battle of Waterloo was won. London was completely re-designed. Turner and Constable were painting, the waltz was introduced (highly risky dance for that era), and Jane Austen and Lord Byron were inspired by the life surrounding them to write.

The glamour, the tastes, scandal and gossip, opulent aristocrats, blossoming middle classes, monarchs, decadence, the celebrity culture, the drugs and drink (minus the rock and roll); it was a celebration of youth culture and of course the fashions. The Regency era was an age of exuberance and creativity, but also of excess and deprivation.

The Dandy – Dress Etiquette and Suit Style

Amid all of this was there was rise of the ‘Dandy’, a fashion etiquette and new wave of style.

How is this important? Well, the ‘Dandy’ shunned traditional elaborate aristocratic styles of the time; wigs, breeches and powder were replaced by simplistic elegance. In short, this was when the plain black suit and ‘tie’ became the epitome of the male wardrobe; embracing masculinity and not femininity.

The person responsible for introducing and establishing this modern men’s suit, and fashion necessity was the infamous George Bryan “Beau” Brummell (7 June 1778 – 30 March 1840).

Beau Brummell became an iconic figure in Regency Britain. The arbiter of men’s fashion, and also a friend of the Prince Regent, the future King George IV; this friendship enabled Beau to entrench what might have been dismissed as an insignificant, and fleeting fashion faux pas into mainstream culture. Beau’s ideas were propelled; taking root in society, they had substantial influence.

Brummell was responsible for making a generation rethink their style choices, and ingrained a fresh sense of what fashion was. Men had never before embraced the understated. Perfectly tailored dark coats, polished boots (with Champagne of course), and full-length trousers rather than knee breeches and stockings, and above all immaculate shirt linen with an elaborately knotted cravat; a must of the ‘Dandy’.

The Beau Brummell ‘Dandy’

Beau’s personal habits were as fastidious as his fashion choices. Attention to detail was a prerequisite for any ‘Dandy’, and it was claimed he took five hours a day to dress. Cleaning his teeth, shaving, and daily bathing were part and parcel of achieving the style, just as much as the clothes.

Brummell’s dictum eventually exerted an influence upon the ‘ton’. The ‘ton’ a term used in reference to Britain’s higher echelons of polite society during the Regency era. The word is derived from the French word meaning ‘taste’ or ‘everything that is fashionable’. The full phrase is ‘le bon ton’, meaning good manners or ‘in the fashionable mode’; the characteristics which epitomised the ideals held onto by the British ‘ton’.

Once the ‘ton’ had adopted the style it then became the must for every self respecting fashion conscious man. Brummell’s niche fashion etiquette then became global; making an impression on all fashion from that day to this.

Bronze Statue of Beau Brummell in Jermyn Street, London

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© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

You Can’t Handle The Truth!


Laying it all bare, for the world to see, dropping the pretence, the charade?

I agree with being honest. Just being free enough to say this is me, this is it, these are my feelings and so on; but most people don’t want honesty. In fact studies show we don’t even want honesty ourselves; our own unconscious brain dictates that. Under tests participants have proven to blatantly ignore truthful facts if they are detrimental to them as humans. It seems lies are a human fundamental, a defence mechanism; part of something ancient that remains within us all.

So basically, when we are faced with the harsh truth, our minds deny it so we as a species can carry on living. Maybe without those lies we tell ourselves daily we’d never get up in the mornings?!

If we saw the real truth all the time we might decide to merely curl up and die, because the truth often is grimmer than the reality we think we know and see around us.

Lets face it the truth can be detrimental, examples; chances of getting cancer in your lifetime, chances of dying of a heart attack, likelihood of divorce, chances of being cheated on, murder, becoming homeless, being bankrupt, unemployed or never fulfilling a life’s dream. In short it takes away hope, and no one wants to admit that whatever they are doing could cause themselves harm in the long run.

Truth when applied to some situations merely deprives us of the remotest possibility that everything will be OK. Regardless of the adversity and the odds that are against us, we all hope everything will be OK in the end.

As people we are therefore used to being tricksters, excellent at concealing the truth even within ourselves. We have our reasons no doubt, does it always have to be because we have a hidden agenda or can’t face up to reality? Aren’t some things best left to the imagination or indeed left unsaid?

If we could always see and hear the truth would we choose to? Could everyone cope with seeing behind the veil of everyone’s reality or the world’s for that matter; no I don’t think we all could. I understand there are some things that need to be revealed as truth, but it is doubtful that everything truthful would be received as a ‘blessing’, because people are used to a life in the dark; and there are some truths that might be out of our comprehension.

Maybe then living a half lie is OK?

Perhaps so, as not every lie is meant to be harmful.

We as people should be able to choose what part of life we want to see as a harsh reality, and that which we choose not to; and what pieces of our own psyche we conceal and that which we don’t (it is our prerogatives as humans). After all no one knows anyone or anything 100%; we and everything around us are based on opinions (how we perceive ourselves, others and the world). Who’s truth is correct? Some people don’t even know themselves 100%; so how can they fathom out any lies inside themselves, how can they know what they are seeing in the world is a lie or the truth?

What is the truth anyway? Isn’t it relative to the situation, person, place, time and so on? Perhaps one person’s lie is merely another persons truth?

What do you think? Please leave me some food for thought!!!!

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Brain Plasticity – How Do We Learn?


Brain Plasticity – looks as complex as it sounds?

Well, last week I had my first official Intercambio meeting (Spanish and English language exchange), via a college here in Madrid. I have written about learning Spanish in a previous post, and the trials and tribulations of becoming accustomed to a new language and life setting. It is not as though I don’t use what Spanish I have learnt, or practice with others, but this Intercambio meeting was the first step in officially ratifying and testing my learning.

Needless to say I felt very nervous. One reason was the fact I didn’t know who I would be meeting with, and I couldn’t be certain whether we would have any common ground to even begin a conversation with. Secondly I really pinned my hopes on using this meeting as a vehicle to gain acquaintance with new people, and to continue to expand my networks; hence I really wanted the initial meeting to go well. Thirdly I was aware I was succumbing to my inner disappointments, because of my lack of Spanish language skills. I therefore felt I was going to be somehow inferior to everyone else present. I have this belief that everyone I meet has mastered a second or third language far better than I ever will; not a conducive thought for the learning processes to take hold (I know).

Anyway, I was eagerly punctual, as always and begun chatting to one of the staff at the college who is Romanian. He was trying to reassure me that it does take time to learn any language well enough to speak confidently, while proceeding to provide me with the same advice I usually receive; go out more and interact and listen to the language being spoken, watch television and listen to the radio. Basically submerse myself in the language on a daily basis.

Of course I agree with this, but again I seem to struggle, though admittedly I am not submerging myself enough.

However, I have reached a point where I am considering my brain’s capacity to actually learn a new language. Is it physically possible for me to learn a new language, have I the specific abilities required in this type of learning or is it merely my self doubt hindering my abilities because I insist on being under confident?

Learning is a complex, but it often happens without conscious recognition; it is something we do everyday without thought. I wondered how it was possible to even begin learning anything, how is learning made easy or completed by the brain. Well, after studying Psychology I know the scientific facts of how the brain absorbs and retains information; written, spoken, memories and actions. I have learnt about Neurons, Neural pathways and Synapses. Yet, how does what we learn, see or do actual stick; what acts do we complete whilst learning something to make the physical processes in the brain kick in?

I considered the theory of ‘brain plasticity’, I wondered if it were applicable. Put simply this theory states; plasticity is something that occurs when we engage in new learning and experience, the brain begins to establish neural pathways to compensate. Neural pathways or circuits are routes made of inter-communicating neurons. These routes are created in the brain through learning and practice; like retreading a path. Visual and auditory cortex’s can be involved in the process, as well as muscle memory. The more you revisit the new experience or learning activity, the stronger the connections become, the more efficient they are made and the faster cognition will become.

Sounds simple enough right?! Well, I now have begun to wonder if my brain has lost out on this plasticity malarkey. Just how much brain plasticity I have in reference to being able to learn new language skills?

Now I haven’t completed a scientific test, but surely not all people are able to learn and perfect everything? The scientific theory seems to make it all sound so easy; the old adage of practice makes perfect resonates throughout it. Yet, what if the practice itself is difficult? What if you prefer something more than the other, won’t that effect what and how you learn? How is it that I can read or watch something I find interesting in English, and retain the information immediately, and in Spanish I feel as though my brain resists the information and learning process?

Are some areas of learning or things to be learnt, just out of bounds for some people? I mean not everyone can dance, play guitar, recall their maths times tables; so cannot that be true of language?

I feel there is always a piece of the learning process missing when it comes to practising Spanish. I know practice and effort are the key, but also self belief, confidence and understanding what we are learning have importance too. Maybe they hold more importance than the actual effort and practice. From experience repetition and effort doesn’t always succeed in making learning kick in and stick. Or could it be that once you get past your teens learning becomes more difficult; because finding the time and head space to fully dedicate yourself, and concentrate completely on learning something new becomes more scarce?

Anyway, I intend to put the theories to the test, on myself in any-case. I have the opportunity to do so as the Intercambio meeting went well, and I will be meeting with a couple of people on a regular basis to practice Spanish. Hopefully I can then shock my brain into action or reaction! I don’t really want to seriously consider the fact that my brain might not have the capacity to learn a new language; that thought doesn’t appeal to me. I feel there has to be a way! I will therefore use all the learning techniques available to encourage plasticity. After all, I am Mistress over my own brain, or am I?

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Death Is Not The End


Nothing can prepare you for hearing those words, of realising that too soon you have to face up to such a harsh truth. Its knowledge that once gained alters everything else from that moment on. It is like the moment freezes, and suddenly normal body functions, such as breathing, become laboured as though the weight of this awful thing is physically, as well as emotionally bearing down on you.

A friend of mine has recently gone through the trauma of the death of her Father. When the news that his illness had taken a turn for the worse and had become life threatening, she was actually with me.

I felt futile; what can anyone say or do to relieve such sorrow and the empty hollowness that such events bring; nothing, no one can make it all better and take that from you. No words fit such a dramatic and profound event, it is beyond such things.

Such events change us I heard, and not just mentally and emotionally but actually physically too. For two years after a death those who are left behind have to also endure a physical change to their bodies as a result of loss and grief. I think this change never heals, how can it? You are not, nor ever will be the same person before that person died.

‘They’ do say a lot of things about death, like if we all experience things the same way. I am aware that grief moves in a process, and it does; after time this process should be completed and the individual remaining should be free of the feeling of loss and sadness (so ‘they’ say). For me that has never been the case.

My friend’s loss resonated with me; in that poignant and raw moment, that to be honest was fairly surreal for me, my own experiences of losing a loved one was quickly revived. I realised I was uncomfortable with the whole thing. I wasn’t able to deal with or cope with the unresolved feelings in myself, that were brought forth by my friend’s own heart breaking news.

My lingering grief remains extremely difficult to discuss, and for me the emotions and sadness are like raw and exposed nerves, which to this day cause me great distress. Even typing this, and thinking about what I want to say here, is more overwhelming than I thought it would be. I can feel the emotion sitting like a mound in my chest; it feels heavy and tight, I feel stressed and dizzy, afraid and upset. It’s almost like shock.

I am obviously not detached from the death of my loved ones, especially one in particular.

What prompted me to want to write this entry was something that happened a few nights ago. I have been thinking about this, although trying not to. It has been a while since I dreamt of the person I lost, but this dream was more vivid than ever I recall. They were back, standing in their house surrounded by other family members. I recall being immediately eager to see them. I pushed through a couple of people to get to this person, and we hugged each other tightly. I told the person I’d missed them so much, and feared I’d never see them again. This person said they knew that, but that they were with me, and had been watching me and were proud of me.

It was my final dream before waking. I got up and sat on the sofa and cried.

I haven’t told anyone else about this, the reason I write it here is that it is anonymous, and no one knows me, nor will anyone in my life have to know that right now, I am crying typing these words. I am obviously still affected by a death that occurred over 10 years ago. This is something I cannot resolve for myself, I haven’t the power to make it OK for myself.

The person I still mourn was special to me, that person shaped my life and is part of who I am. If I am selfish for wishing they were still here to talk to, ask advice of, hear their opinions, debate politics with or just laugh with, then I am and I don’t think that is a flaw. I don’t want them not to rest wherever they are, they deserve to be free of their body and to be happy in a good place; but I still miss them.

This death was an unexpected event. People used to say, ‘Oh, that is a good thing no suffering’; well let me tell you it wasn’t a good death for those of us who loved that person. That was just un-thoughtful and infuriating to hear. It was like they made light of the trauma and loss, as though we should have been grateful.

There were no goodbyes for us, no time to put things in order, hear the last words, and give one final kiss. No way of understanding, coming to terms with anything. How could it have been that one moment this person was alive, and the next gone forever, where no one could follow them. I couldn’t understand the difference in those moments, like a light had been switched off. Why that person had be extinguished in such an extreme manner, with all the evidence left behind that they had merely just stepped out, and would return at any given moment. It was cruel.

I couldn’t get that straight for years; that severed separation without warning left a deep wound. I kept asking the questions, wanting all the medical reasons and I hated everything and everyone for it being as it was. It was like unfinished business. I felt cheated, lied to and deceived, guilty too. In those moments I would have gladly shared my own life with that person so they could have lived on. I begged for that and prayed for it. Death couldn’t be the end.

What made it worse was the fact there had been this over bearing feeling of doom. A lingering and awful feeling that wouldn’t leave. I felt something terrible was going to happen, something I couldn’t change. In fact I felt it on that very morning of that person’s death, and ignored it. I didn’t go and see that person as something inside my self urged me to. I thought I was just being melodramatic, but after gaining a call when I was nearly 70 miles away that day to return home, I knew immediately it was going to be the worst news that greeted my return.

People don’t have to believe what I felt, but I know what I felt, and those around me know too, because they were there every time I told them something bad was going to happen. I felt that it was going to be something horrendous, so bad, it would make me cry hysterically.

I felt guilt, if only I had said and done something as a reaction to this feeling. Maybe I could have intervened and changed what happened. I felt I had let them and myself down. I felt I was a terrible person; by ignoring my bad feeling, I had just let the person die.

Writing this now was something I thought I’d never do, as I even avoid talking about it, because as I have mentioned already it is painful and distressing. I don’t like how it makes me feel still, sick, all through my system. Yet, it is there and somewhere I feel I have to let it go.

I can cope with most things life throws at me, but this is one thing I still cannot cope with and feel it still. This has created a great concern in me; that those I love will end up the same, and I won’t be there to see them, to comfort them to tell them I love them. That they will leave me the same way, without goodbye. I am frightened of that, not of my own death, but anyone else’s. Even admitting that scares me, it’s like tempting fate by exposing that weakness publicly, that something terrible will happen.

I’d like to know if anyone else feels like I do. I’d like to know I’m normal, and that amongst all these faceless bloggers I am somehow not alone in these emotions. Maybe this is my post where I truly write for personal therapy. I don’t want sympathy or to pull the ‘hard luck’ story, I don’t feel hard done by. I just suppose I want to gain an understanding of why I feel this way still, to gain comfort from knowing of others who have felt or do feel like me. Maybe I just needed to admit what damage grief has done, even after the years have ticked by the pain still can endure, and affect us who are left behind who just don’t understand why.

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

The ‘Real’ Madrid Experience – The Halloween Extravaganza


Now I know traditionally Halloween is not a Spanish past time. In fact, check the internet for ‘Ghost Tours’ or ghostly anecdotes regarding the city, and you won’t find any! Well, maybe one, regarding the haunting of the Casa de América on Paseo de Recoletos. In fact even making enquiries with people from Madrid about ghosts, and such like, produces strange and quizzical expressions, often followed by; ‘Don’t those type of things scare you’?

Me encanta (I love) Halloween!!!! It has been my favourite time of the year since I was a child. In fact I wasn’t certain what celebrating Halloween would be like in Madrid, so it is now that I find myself missing the UK most; well, at least the part of the UK I was raised anyway. Now there is a place where autumn truly is autumn! This dramatic change of season, for me, adds a touch of atmospheric dark romance to the run up to Halloween. The fragile trees, the colder weather, heavy clouded skies, the rugged scenery and the dark nights all lend their hands perfectly to the Halloween theme.

Madrid is not rugged, not surrounded by old graveyards and churches, cobbled streets, ancient houses, dark forests, rivers, valleys, mountains or fields; so then how can I celebrate Halloween here?!

Well, I may not be going the whole nine yards and re-decorating the house as a scene from a Hammer House of Horror film, but I have managed to find one concession towards making my Halloween feel like home. It is the humble Pumpkin! Don’t laugh, it may seem pathetic and childish, but I love carving Pumpkins for Halloween. It’s a ritual I have held onto for seven years, and I don’t intend to let it slip this year! This one little thing gets me in the Halloween ‘spirit’; so I say thank you Carrefour for stocking them!

Anyway, so what else does Madrid offer with Halloween in mind, well, seems like the other element missing here is ‘the’ party. Of course, on this front there is no need to worry; Madrid does parties probably better than anywhere else!

So, today I have been hunting high and low, not for ghosts and goblins though, but for the locations of these suitably scary parties and themed events.

Something Different:

Parque de Atracciones – Casa de Campo, Madrid
http://www.parquedeatracciones.es/

This theme park throws annual Halloween-fests which run on until 4th November. The park and grounds have been suitably redecorated and is hosting a wealth of Halloween treats such as; music, street entertainers and shows. Also, ensure you take a stroll through Zombie Town, and pay a visit their four interactive fright night experience ‘Haunted Houses’; Horror Circus, Necronomicon, Hospital of the Dead and The Old House.

Extremauncion – outside of Madrid on the A5 (Highway) passed Navelcamero
http://www.extremauncion.com/

A themed weekend of scary events in a remote location; Halloween dinner, drinks, a tour to set the ghostly scene, passage of terror in abandoned mansion, actors dressed to scare and camping out in a ‘haunted’ cemetery. It appears to be the complete Halloween experience in one, for a price.

The Halloween weekend will cost anything from; 70 – 80 Euros. Far cheaper if you just limit the experience to the passage of terror, seems to be roughly 6 Euros.

They do open every Saturday however, and the entry prices are not as steep ordinarily.

For their extra special Halloween-fest the dates are: 31st October to the 4th
November, and the price will be that bit extra.

In the evening the events are not suitable for children.

Enigmatium – Somewhere near to Plaza de Castilla
http://www.enigmatium.com/halloween-madrid.php

I say somewhere near Plaza de Castilla not to be facetious, but because two days before you are due to honour your reservation at the restaurant, you will receive the first clue as to where this restaurant is actually located.

The special Halloween events in this restaurant will be run 31st October / 3 and 4th November.

Check out their website for further details of the evening’s entertainment.

The Walking Dead Live (Zombies Laser Combat) – Esquivias which is 35km from Madrid A42 towards Toledo. http://www.iberikapaintball.com/paintballmadrid/paintballmadridhalloween.htm

There are limited places and ensure you wear Halloween costume as they have prizes for best dressed.

The price 49 – 69 Euros; this includes real-life zombie laser tag combat, open bar, dinner and extra after dinner surprises to test the attendee’s nerves.

Clubs and Festival:

Thriller Music Festival – Madrid Arena
http://thrillermusicpark.com/

Line-up:
Steve Aoki, Autoerotique, live PA by Army of the Universe, Ed is Dead and Julien Leik.

Tickets 22 Euros. Free drink for all who go in fancy dress, also competition for best dressed and the winner will receive 3,000 Euros.

Mondo – Calle Arlaban, 7, Madrid

31st October – DJ Hell

Siroco – Calle de San Dimas, Madrid

Music is usually; breaks, Electro-Pop, House

31st October – Fort Romeau, Hyman Bass, plus other guests.

Sala Lujuria (Creepy Halloween Party) – Leganitos, 7, Madrid

Music; Dubstep

31st October – Ruben G / MadBass.Madrid, 1st Degree / HDK.Madrid
Nubdub / HDK.Madrid, Skaar / HDK.Madrid

Puerta del Sol and Irish Bars:

27th October Halloween Pub Crawl – pick up point Plaza Mayor
http://www.getyourguide.com/madrid/skip-the-line-madrid-halloween-pub-crawl-t15281/

Start time is 22:00 at Tourist Information at Plaza Mayor.

Price is 24 Euros which includes; visit 3 bars and a club, free alcohol, VIP entry to the club, costume prizes.

Most Irish Bars in Madrid are holding some special event or another over Halloween; including fancy dress prizes, drink offers and special cocktails. Here are some of them below.

Dubliners – Espoz y Mina, 7, Madrid

O’Connell’s – (address as above)

O’Neills – Principe, 12, Madrid

Final Note:

I’m planning to do an updated version of this post, once I have sampled the fright night on offer here in Madrid. So with the Madrid party ethos in mind I intend to make the most of Halloween here this year, which will include donning the fancy dress, and taking a stroll around the streets to frequent the many bars. Then and only then will I truly know what my favourite day of the year is like in this crazy city!

!!!!!!Wishing you all a wonderful and happy Halloween!!!!!!

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

I Am King or Queen of My Castle and I Refuse to Surrender.


A friend of mine has recently suspended her Facebook account; she has plenty on her plate at the moment, which has of course occurs as part and parcel of her fully developed and healthy adult life. However, one of the reasons she mentioned was how she was fed up with receiving persistent emails, and messages from people she had only known as a teenager.

Now, I have had similar issues with Facebook; as good as it is to locate family and those you value as friends, it allows others to try to invade your space. Some of the people who might try to re-establish contact could be past friends, some could even have be your worst nightmare; the enemy that despised you, and the bully that ridiculed you making your life a misery.

Can you trust these people to re-enter your adult life based on what you knew about them in the past? What are their motives to trying to gain re-entry into your life?

I wonder if everyone is familiar with these types of people; the ones who harp on about the past, those who desperately desire to re-new a friendship that was only founded on a specific place and moment, also those who wish to try and re-establish their sense of greatness (‘look what I have been doing, aren’t you all jealous’), and of course the bullies from the playground?

All these people you may have purposefully lost contact with (years ago), suddenly feel they have a right to wander back into your life, and act as though nothing transpired to make them, a friend from the past or just someone you had to suffer. Maybe you consigned them to the past for a damn good reason!

It seems people are just so eager to parachute back into our lives; to pry, because they are guilty for their past actions, maybe because they have nothing else to focus on or perhaps they want to re-exert their dominance? Have they so little in their own lives that they have to cling to what was? Maybe they haven’t made a new life for themselves? Maybe they are fixating on what was, and are stuck in the same mind set and situations they were when you knew them? Maybe they want to feel a part of something more once again?

If they haven’t moved on and experienced life, if they haven’t changed their ‘spots’, is it because they are too afraid to? How could they have managed to escape immersing themselves in life, maturing and developing into an adult? What I mean is, are they stuck, frozen in one moment forever; unable to escape that child or teenager perspective on the world?

I call this ‘I’m the King/Queen of my castle’ syndrome, it is not uncommon. To explain; people like to feel important and it doesn’t matter whether they are billionaires, popular people in their neighbourhoods or the school favourite. If they have been or are deemed to be ‘top dog’ somewhere, sometime, by someone; this alters their view of themselves. When this self belief (view of themselves) is challenged by those who they bullied or those they classed as friends, because now those people they knew have more or have achieved more than them; these ‘Kings and Queens’ self beliefs are then set at odds. Suddenly their world is no longer rosy.

People don’t like to think they haven’t achieved much by others standards, or that their enemies or playground victims have surpassed them. Yet, who is really judging them, and making them feel inferior; the child grown into an adult that they bullied, their old friend or themselves?

Maybe in the real world, in another setting which is remote from their own, these ‘Kings and Queens’ begin to feel inconsequential? Perhaps they cannot cope with having to re-build their status or gain something new and different, so they have retreated from immersing themselves in new experiences. Maybe something which is outside of their comfort zone is deemed a scary place to be? Is it that they have built a wall of protection around themselves to always feel secure in their choices? If that is their choice, and they are happy, surely it is fine with the world; as long as they then leave everyone else and their choices alone? However, in my experience that doesn’t happen.

If these ‘Kings and Queens’ do feel afraid of the new, of change and development, and they have made their choices to retreat to their castles freely; why then do they feel as though they have lost out, and become jealous of what they perceive to be a better life than theirs? Why is it people cannot just be happy and move on? What to they hope to gain from renewing a long dead connection or forgotten friendship?

I admit that I feel sceptical when presented with these ‘Kings and Queens’. As I have mentioned already I have experienced this, and not just on Facebook either. I have seen some pretty vicious and poisonous things occur through jealousy; from the friend of the past aimed at the person they feel has managed to move on and develop a healthy adult life, from those who were the bully, and also from those trying to re-exert their greatness. It is a frightening thought, as you can never truly know what ‘can of worms’ you will open buying into what is portrayed on the internet; especially with cases of internet bullying on the rise (not just children get bullied), not to forget those who have been stalked or even murdered. Seems dramatic, maybe not, not for those who have suffered as a result of what seemed to be an innocuous internet ‘friendship’.

I will now ask the questions again; can you trust these ‘Kings and Queens’ to re-enter your adult life based on what you knew about them in the past? What are their motives to trying to gain re-entry into your life?

Are they harmless individuals stuck in the past or an enemy, a danger lurking in wait?

Links about Adult and Child Cyber Bullying:

http://www.overcomebullying.org/cyberbullying.html
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adult-bullies/

BBC One Panorama – http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01c00y3
BBC Schools – http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/parents/cyber_bullying/
Childline – http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Bullying/Pages/CyberBullying.aspx

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.