I wouldn’t try to convince anyone the world is an ugly place – it isn’t the world merely most of the people in it. Either way it’s not for me to convince anyone of either of those things. I would however like it if more often those people selling ‘think positively’, ‘self-help’, ‘self-development’ and ‘life is marvellous’ would be told to stop trying to convince, and brow beat us all into their world view. Alas it seems we prefer a rose tinted life view rather than reality.
I will be honest; often I require a sick bucket whenever I read that type of rose tinted twaddle, as it is so far from the mark for most people.
What I believe, and think about life is merely the alternative side. It is what people do forget about; the real life story. I am neither a positive nor a negative person; I am just being real and I am not succumbing to a notion of selling a fantasy cure all. I do dislike people who perpetually sell life as a bowl of peaches and cream (in that I won’t lie); the reality is that FOR MOST PEOPLE LIFE ISN’T AND WON’T BE PEACHES AND CREAM. Recognising that and representing a real world alternative actually is a balanced and helpful method.
Why must we all always pretend EVERYTHING is marvellous, and disparage those who state otherwise?
As there will be people, more than less, who wish to see that their life and their feelings about it aren’t as amiss or as fundamentally wrong as most of the ‘positive’ and ‘all is wonderful’ camps state that it is. I feel I can state that life does suck – if not always, mostly; reassuring people out there that they are not alone in thinking this thought.
The fact people remain hopeful, and also keep moving on regardless of the bad is a great thing. I certainly wouldn’t wish for it to be any other way, as I wouldn’t want to see anyone flounder. I ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR EVERYONE; if only that was true of everyone else I have encountered in my life.
Yet does wishing the best also include selling a lie?
My motivations for stating my views regarding life being quite rubbish for most people is not based upon a sour, miserable or jealous outlook either. I AM NOT NOR EVER HAVE BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON, that is not who I am and that is not my reasoning for thinking or believing what I do. I merely want to convey and establish the state of reality experienced in most people’s lives, and the limitations they face and can’t often change.
Knowing life isn’t peaches and cream doesn’t make me revel in amusement, but I have come to find myself ambivalent. I do admit that perhaps my high expectations for myself, and for others to be kind, genuine and respectful has no doubt affected my view. Perhaps I have expected too much from people, and from life in general. Yet, others have high expectations of achieving material gains, commercial and fame based successes and so on and so on; which for me are high enough to be more often than not unreal and unobtainable. Nevertheless these things are also reinforced as obtainable, normal and desirable by positive thinkers.
So I suppose with this carpe diem philosophy it has become normal for such small gains like genuine kindness to be overlooked in life, because we all want a perfect life and an image of positive greatness. LIFE IS MARVELLOUS after all, BUT WHAT MAKES IT SO? How we treat one another or what we achieve via positive thinking?
By stating all of this doesn’t signify that I underestimate myself or my life either; I have lots to be proud and thankful for, but I now have more realistic expectations of the world about me. What job I have, how new my new car is or how far I’ve travelled – doesn’t matter to me and in truth never did. What has mattered is realising life is flat, dull and fruitless. The other things are just distractions from the realisation.
Those silly things that often cloud people’s perceptions such as; material wealth, healthy living in the gym, obtaining immortal beauty, adhering to the rules of attraction, travelling like a nomad and securing high-flying jobs don’t cloud my realisation. All of these things are equally as worthless; merely an enforced life checklist of procedures to get through (because the time is ticking and you might die tomorrow).
What I do believe is that YOUR LIFE SHOULD BE YOUR LIFE, and you should do with it what you will – not what others churn out you should do; in vast vapid quantities listed as good advice, positive thinking, self-help and self-development.
If you are going to take advice from anyone, THEN TAKE IT FROM YOURSELF NOT OTHERS; who haven’t a clue about you, your life or your limitations. No one can tell you that by thinking positively or being optimistic and buying into ‘life is marvellous’ things will change substantially within your life. Regardless of how much you may plan or hope for the best or even try to change things; often things can and will go belly up! I am sorry, but it is true.
See life as being as empty as those ‘think positively’ promises and things may be better.
I suppose what I am trying to state is that I can’t jump on the ‘life is marvellous’ bandwagon without admitting the real and severe flaws of it first! Even though many people can and do just to raise their ratings, because they actually don’t give a damn about the consequences of their twaddle.
P.S: This is a sort of response to a conversation – via comments – between myself and Green Embers. Just so he knows I am happy to credit him for the inspiration, and to tell him I do believe him to be a very good sort of person 🙂
Exactly my thoughts. I absolutely cannot agree with this fake happiness all over when, in fact, there isn’t any for so many people. Living in illusions doesn’t make anything better. It is faking feelings and cheating oneself. I’m writing about that in my life blog https://inesepogalifeschool.com/
Hello, and let me begin by confirming; I couldn’t agree more with you. I am actually planning to write more on this particular ‘positive thinking’ topic; which to me is almost as zealous and blindly followed as some perceive religion to be (ironically). I will be taking a look at your life blog – as we ‘realists’ need to stick together; this topic is so well-guarded that not many deign to see this side of the coin (as it does shatter illusions and go against the trend). Thanks for reading, I appreciate it and hope to keep in contact. Thanks again, Bex
Writing the reality of life as you have done surely will not be popular, but then isn’t that exactly why most people try and hide from that reality? Your disgust at people trying to tell you that life can be ‘perpetually…a bowl of peaches and cream’ is exactly why most people hide this fact by buying things they do not need to make them happy. Excellent posting!
Thanks for your vote of confidence Pete, I appreciate someone who appreciates reading a bit of reality. I know it won’t be popular, but it is something I have to write about. I don’t care what the ‘peaches and cream’ brigade think; I’m not after the popular vote by scrimping on the issues which really matter. Ah yes, they buy into it all and refuse to see it any other way, but that won’t help anything change in the long run. Thanks again!!!