The Fabulous Dream Weaver – turning dreams into a reality at a town near you

In the post that follows I will be focusing upon my favourite species of writer; the POSITIVE THINKERS or AKA the Preachers of the new religion. I will be featuring the genre of writing these Preachers like to churn out in abundance; with little prior thought attached.

Yet, there will be those amongst you who no doubt categorise POSITIVE THINKING posts as being logical, soul-saving, invigorating, inspiring and enlightening. I am however doubtful (as ever), that the positive words contained in such writing could truly provide guidance to anyone. They may claim to give us inspiration and hope to right our miserable lives and achieve wonders, but I wonder whether such writing only creates a population of unhappy and discontented people.

I believe that POSITIVE THINKERS, and their positive writing styles encourage others to feel as though they have somehow missed out on something wonderful, and are in short, failures. From this people react; becoming self-obsessed, frustrated and materialistic in their search for life’s deserved glory to be dispensed upon them somehow. Yet, all of this surface sheen and slippery slope to pretension is deemed to be a higher state of being by the POSITIVE THINKING BRIGADE; sad but true.

“It takes more than a few ideas, hopes and little to no effort to go from a just a dream to reality. It’s important to clearly state and write down your dreams or goals this is a vital step. Then create a plan and hold your self accountable for deadlines you have given yourself”.

“Our thoughts become reality”.  Simply said, our mind naturally manifests things into existence if we truly believe in them.  Visualization is one of the best ways to make your dreams come to fruition”.

Above is so typical of the positive thinking prose. It PREACHES a new world religious order dedicated to the church of positive thinking. IS THIS proposition LOGICAL though? Should we also engage in casting some spells, and perform mystical rituals while we dance around an Oak tree naked? Just believe Brothers and Sisters and all will be well with the world; just close your eyes and wish yourself a better life. Is there a pair of ruby slippers on hand too by chance?

There is apparently NO EXCUSE either (other than the laws of logic and the premise of something called – reality) to achieving this magical wonder of new and fantastical existence:

“So for those who sit around making excuses about how they can’t reach their dream or goal. I want you to ask yourself a question is your excuse really worth going through a life time of regret wishing you would have followed your dream?”

Here we go again, brow beating and admonishing in a preaching and condescending tone; linked apparently to this person’s improved wisdom and backbone. This person has achieved the wonderful life, so let us all kneel in awe.

I have to state, as I have done so before; I DON’T AGREE with regrets (stone me to death now). We do what we do because we feel it is the right thing at that time; all of which amounts to worthwhile life experiences. Life IS NOT necessarily just about COUNTABLE ACHIEVEMENTS WHICH SEEMS TO BE SYNONYMOUS WITH MATERIAL GAINS. How is this helping anyone other than trying to give the reader an inferiority complex or hunger for avarice?

Also, if there are NO EXCUSES, where are yours Mr or Miss Writer? You haven’t enlightened us humble nobodies as to how such things are quantifiable or achievable. My advice; what about producing a how-to-guide on this one; might make you some money for the old yarn you are spinning.

Can I ask, as no one else seems to; what is the big secret to all of this creation of a wonderful life by mere thought alone – if it is so possible? Questioning the truth and honesty of these fantastical claims are NEVER answered, merely ignored.

The apparent processes to results are thus……………

“Focusing on the process allows you to view setbacks or failures as opportune to learn and improve.  It may sound cliché (add in by me: yes it does) but it is true failure can become our biggest teachers. I remember when I first started writing there were countless number of people would say I could never be a writer and my dreams were silly and my writing style was filled with misspellings, grammar mistake’s  and grammatical errors (add in by me: has this changed?) Those negative comments just fueled (add in by me: what is this?) my work ethic and made me work harder than I ever did before to improve my skills and to prove them wrong”

Mr or Miss Writer your skills include turning over the same well-trodden ground as a hundred other people before and after you. It is boring and mundane spiel that is merely deemed to be safe and happy; all in the aid of wracking up those ‘likes’.

How do you really feel and what do you really do – those are things I’d like to know. Are you on cloud nine every second of every day? Perpetual positivity and happiness is just not the normal human condition; we all fail and flounder sometimes, and become angry, deflated, upset and frustrated!

I also wonder why is it that those who question this positive writing and associated ideas, are subjected to the seventh circle of Hell from those who lap this type of material up as gospel. They can speak their minds, but Heaven forbid I speak mine and don’t blindly concur with them.   

“Do you fantasize about how your life would be if you make your dreams a reality? (Add in by me: no I fantasize about how wonderful life truly would be minus rubbish like this). Often people avoid following a specific dream because it will takes years to achieve what they want. I want to encourage anybody reading this follow their dreams and passions (add in by me: bravo – give that person a medal or The Nobel Peace Prize).  Whatever your vision, there’s no time like the present to put your big ideas into action (add in by me: throw caution to the wind – sod the bills and whatever else just go for it). Comment below what your dream is & if you like this please share!”

Yes, please do share this – with the bin. Have these POSITIVE PREACHERS NEVER EXPERIENCED A HICCUP IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES – EVER?! There is NO HINT as to what or how this person achieved whatever it is they achieved; if they even achieved it. The insult to injury is the fact this person actually encourages that this motivational idiosyncrasy is spread like a destructive wildfire just so they can then hear; “Wow, you and your words are fabulous”, “So inspirational”.

Why is it fabulous? What has this person revealed or stated that is so fabulous, so mind-blowing, so inspirational and so unique? People like it because everyone else likes it; popular merely creates popular just like the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. Everyone then JUMPS ON THE BANDWAGON hoping to get a piece of the pie.

The ordinary and reality facing us all in life is once again frowned upon, and displayed as unworthy and somehow just not good enough. Or, worse still not taken seriously and dismissed, because one thought alone can dispel such hardships; ill-health, homelessness, murder and so on will then go away forever. Didn’t you know EVERYONE should be (through some innate entitlement) become the Astronaut, Pilot, Actor, Lawyer, Writer, Artist – everyone deserves fame and accolades, and EVERYONE WILL achieve them. Will they though?

We are setting the world up for huge failure here. No wonder Psychologists have huge waiting lists, and everyone is so disappointed that they have to work and live in the real world! It is very like those Quack Doctors who used to sell life purifying cure all’s at the 19th century carnival side shows. They were likeable fellows I am sure, and a colourful charade which was purely meant to titillate their audiences, but NO ONE TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY (well, at least not now in the 21st century)!

Put the word POSITIVE before something, and suddenly it becomes gospel, the new word from God. It makes me laugh though, as these people probably would be reviled at the thought of God and shun the idea of Heaven or Hell, and yet haven’t they read their own (if it is their own) words? It reminds me of religious dogma and those that peddle this thinking positive craze are actually zealots. They refuse to see any other way of life or thinking, and certainly won’t accept any another view point; as we all have to convert to their faith.

Finally I did leave one of my own thoughts (as below) for this person; meant in jest and yes I was being sarcastic. The sentiment was wasted though as they didn’t realise this; so full of their own self-importance:

“It never ceases to amaze me how thinking positively and visualising your dreams alone can be responsible for changing so many people’s lives; wow. It must be some sort of miracle, and I think there should definitely be a way to bottle this, and market it to the general populace. Lives would change in moments! Thanks for posting this – utter revelation and I for one am a convert”.

The person in question actually had the audacity to like my comment, and so too did three of their readership or worshippers. I shall say no more except; is it the blind leading the blind or what?

The Reveal

I recently published two posts; one was entitled A Test and the other A Test (Part 2). The first post was meant as satire – sorry folks, but it was a test! I assumed that the material contained in this first post, based around a positive thinking angle would receive more ‘likes’ over a shorter duration, and it did. The latter post was meant as a real life view of the world, and consequently it received lesser ‘likes’ over a longer duration.

I therefore can only assume this disparity of ‘likes’ has been due to the fact my second post didn’t regurgitate the usual positive thinking people tend to prefer. It actually questioned the motives and logic of such thinking. In it I refused to pander to the “peaches and cream brigade”, and didn’t falsely claim that such positive attitudes could, and would remedy all the bad people face in their lives (because this is an implausible claim to make). Perhaps therefore this disbelief of a life miracle instigated automatic dislike amongst people; as they prefer not to truly confront their own realities.

On a different note I do wish to mention my real deal, genuine and most active readers, which includes those who are always gracious enough to leave me a comment or ‘like’ one of my posts. These readers also contributed to the ‘likes’ generated across both of these posts. I thank them for their ‘likes’, and wanted to take time to state how much I value them as readers. I also wanted to state how much I value those readers here on WordPress with OPEN MINDS (becoming rarer all the time), and again thank them for their support too. They make writing on WordPress worthwhile as they can see both sides of the coin, and still smile.

A Test (part 2)

I wouldn’t try to convince anyone the world is an ugly  place – it isn’t the world merely most of the people in it. Either way it’s not for me to convince anyone of either of those things. I would however like it if more often those people selling ‘think positively’, ‘self-help’, ‘self-development’ and ‘life is marvellous’ would be told to stop trying to convince, and brow beat us all into their world view. Alas it seems we prefer a rose tinted life view rather than reality.

I will be honest; often I require a sick bucket whenever I read that type of rose tinted twaddle, as it is so far from the mark for most people.

What I believe, and think about life is merely the alternative side. It is what people do forget about; the real life story. I am neither a positive nor a negative person; I am just being real and I am not succumbing to a notion of selling a fantasy cure all. I do dislike people who perpetually sell life as a bowl of peaches and cream (in that I won’t lie); the reality is that FOR MOST PEOPLE LIFE ISN’T AND WON’T BE PEACHES AND CREAM. Recognising that and representing a real world alternative actually is a balanced and helpful method.

Why must we all always pretend EVERYTHING is marvellous, and disparage those who state otherwise? 

As there will be people, more than less, who wish to see that their life and their feelings about it aren’t as amiss or as fundamentally wrong as most of the ‘positive’ and ‘all is wonderful’ camps state that it is. I feel I can state that life does suck – if not always, mostly; reassuring people out there that they are not alone in thinking this thought.

The fact people remain hopeful, and also keep moving on regardless of the bad is a great thing. I certainly wouldn’t wish for it to be any other way, as I wouldn’t want to see anyone flounder. I ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR EVERYONE; if only that was true of everyone else I have encountered in my life.

Yet does wishing the best also include selling a lie? 

My motivations for stating my views regarding life being quite rubbish for most people is not based upon a sour, miserable or jealous outlook either. I AM NOT NOR EVER HAVE BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON, that is not who I am and that is not my reasoning for thinking or believing what I do. I merely want to convey and establish the state of reality experienced in most people’s lives, and the limitations they face and can’t often change.

Knowing life isn’t peaches and cream doesn’t make me revel in amusement, but I have come to find myself ambivalent. I do admit that perhaps my high expectations for myself, and for others to be kind, genuine and respectful has no doubt affected my view. Perhaps I have expected too much from people, and from life in general. Yet, others have high expectations of achieving material gains, commercial and fame based successes and so on and so on; which for me are high enough to be more often than not unreal and unobtainable. Nevertheless these things are also reinforced as obtainable, normal and desirable by positive thinkers.

So I suppose with this carpe diem philosophy it has become normal for such small gains like genuine kindness to be overlooked in life, because we all want a perfect life and an image of positive greatness. LIFE IS MARVELLOUS after all, BUT WHAT MAKES IT SO? How we treat one another or what we achieve via positive thinking?

By stating all of this doesn’t signify that I underestimate myself or my life either; I have lots to be proud and thankful for, but I now have more realistic expectations of the world about me. What job I have, how new my new car is or how far I’ve travelled – doesn’t matter to me and in truth never did. What has mattered is realising life is flat, dull and fruitless. The other things are just distractions from the realisation.

Those silly things that often cloud people’s perceptions such as; material wealth, healthy living in the gym, obtaining immortal beauty, adhering to the rules of attraction, travelling like a nomad and securing high-flying jobs don’t cloud my realisation. All of these things are equally as worthless; merely an enforced life checklist of procedures to get through (because the time is ticking and you might die tomorrow).

What I do believe is that YOUR LIFE SHOULD BE YOUR LIFE, and you should do with it what you will – not what others churn out you should do; in vast vapid quantities listed as good advice, positive thinking, self-help and self-development.

If you are going to take advice from anyone, THEN TAKE IT FROM YOURSELF NOT OTHERS; who haven’t a clue about you, your life or your limitations. No one can tell you that by thinking positively or being optimistic and buying into ‘life is marvellous’ things will change substantially within your life. Regardless of how much you may plan or hope for the best or even try to change things; often things can and will go belly up! I am sorry, but it is true.

See life as being as empty as those ‘think positively’ promises and things may be better. 

I suppose what I am trying to state is that I can’t jump on the ‘life is marvellous’ bandwagon without admitting the real and severe flaws of it first! Even though many people can and do just to raise their ratings, because they actually don’t give a damn about the consequences of their twaddle.

P.S: This is a sort of response to a conversation – via comments – between myself and Green Embers. Just so he knows I am happy to credit him for the inspiration, and to tell him I do believe him to be a very good sort of person 🙂

Negativity

“Negativity; a natural state of being human”.

Bex 2013

The Man-Child

Over grown, over educated (maybe even still in full time education whilst in their 30’s), living with family or friends (like some frat house experience), no commitment, if employed working on some type of made up position derived from some internship, opinionated, socially uncomfortable, self absorbed, full of their own self importance, stuck in their ways and clinging onto what they are used to, domineering, shifty body language, uncomfortable around women and women’s opinions.

The man-child.

Oh, and let us not forget when he cannot get people to succumb to his wants, needs, desires or whatever, he throws a tantrum. He demonstrates inappropriate anger in inappropriate ways to unsuspecting people.

Such a horrible specimen of ‘manhood’ was in my presence last night.

I have joined some social meet up groups within the Madrid area, and one of these was the Skeptics Group. Yes a skeptics group! Now usually I refrain form associating with Philosophers in general, why, well as a rule I have found them to be, I don’t want to generalise too much here; full of their own self importance, and of their own intellectual status. Yet, the group sounded interesting, so I thought I’d go along and see.

For some reason the organiser, the usual organiser, decided he couldn’t return from Germany for the meeting. So, he randomly nominated me as the stand in organiser for the meeting. As I explained to him, I was not familiar with Skeptical theory and it was my first meeting. Yet, this did not bother the organiser.

OK, well I assumed the group would be a nice bunch of individuals; understanding, able to listen, oh, and respectful of others. So, what the Hell, I gave it a go!

Throughout the meeting I felt a bad vibe from the only man in attendance (the friend, and associate of the actual group organiser). Now, the group was small, four including me – three women and one man. Yet, he wasn’t interested in us as people, he didn’t ask us anything about ourselves, our life or background. He was very clinical and odd. Strange body language, shifty and as though he wasn’t too happy with how the discussion was progressing.

Maybe he felt threatened by the female presence, frustrated he hadn’t been nominated stand in organiser by his friend (the actual organiser), perhaps he misconstrued some of what had been said (he was Spanish, and I think his English level wasn’t as good as he thought it was). I wonder if our native English tongue intimidated him, plus, the fact we didn’t necessarily agree with his opinions and views might have riled him too. Who can be sure!

It wasn’t until the conversation split; him and one woman, and me and the other woman present. I spoke only to say I had to leave soon, as I was tired, nothing much more. well, when I related this to him, he didn’t like this and decided to ‘flip out’. Only way to really describe it, he flipped out!

It was like he had been waiting patiently all night to say something, to cause an argument with me, and why, who knows, and who knows what bee was in in his bonnet!

Anyway, he accused me of lying, the reason I was leaving was another that I was too afraid to admit, I was being untruthful about my thoughts and feelings. I was concealing something from him!

What the………!! Did I just doze off, and wake only to find I had arrived in the Twilight Zone?

I had only just met him – two hours previous, and already he was convinced he knew my inner motives, he knew what I truly felt. I mean, if he had, he would have known I was thinking what a loser he was being at that particular moment! It seemed he was trying to depict me as this distrustful liar to the group for a reason. Wow, what insight, NO, what rude audacity!

I took it lightly, an argument with what was obviously an aggressive man was not on my list of ‘to do’s’ that day. So I said,
“Is he joking with me? He is fooling around right, he doesn’t mean it as I think he does”?
One of the women then replied,
“Yeah, he is fooling around, as no one would act like such an arse-hole” (jest intended to lighten the obvious prevailing bad atamosphere).

Oh dear, that was a mistake. He then turned his venom upon her.

Now my understanding of Spanish profanities is limited, as I am a lady 🙂 Yet, I am pretty damn sure he used everything in his arsenal to create one moment of utter hatred, which was aimed at an unsuspecting woman.

I was aghast. I was already standing up to go, and I could only just stand there, in complete shock. I didn’t know what the Hell he was playing at and why. I wondered whether it was a good idea to lurch across the table and spank him! Yet, the woman he spoke to with such a vile, and disgusting attitude was so calm; as too was the other woman witnessing it! They were cool and level headed, intelligent, articulate and capable women- admirable.

I was a little less cool; thinking and feeling, WTF!

For me, this is a massive NO! People, especially men, never speak to women as he was doing to this one. I was disgusted. I was shocked. I realised in that moment, this was no man, this was not a person worth my attention or time. He was nothing.

I told them all that I was leaving, and won’t be returning any time soon to a group with such a vile fool in attendance. It made no difference though, as he kept on; he had his argument, he was making himself feel better at any cost.

Intelligent, philosopher, man, human – NO, he was just an over grown child, an insecure and idiotic fool with a foul mouth.

I remember he said he had a blog. He said he had been writing about his attempts to meet a new person every week. What a sick joke! That was exactly what he was doing within the ‘skeptics group’, and look how he treated and responding to them, to us! God help those he does meet, they will be psychologically scared for life if he acts as he did with us!

This has made me really reconsider which groups I attend.

If there aren’t shouting bullies, there are pervy men trying their luck, and staring at your breasts and bum.

How am I ever supposed to meet nice, and genuine people in Madrid? Do they actually exist?

What this has suggested, though I hate to even consider it; women are never really able to go anywhere without feeling they maybe harassed at any moment.

Why is it men feel they have some power to weild over women?

Why can’t they just go out, and enjoy themselves free of being abusive bad mannerly fools, bombastic and opinionated chauvinists, and sexual predators?

Are all men really just versions of men-children?

As you can probably guess, I am still extremely annoyed by this ‘person’s’ behaviour. It has impressed some ‘downer’ upon me regarding human relationships, interactions and behaviour. Plus, this fool will never know nor admit he was in the wrong.

Also, to sum up the whole experience or night; the whole thing was some elaborate charade. It was some game set up by this nasty and foul mouth fool, and his friend the Skeptics Group organiser. It was as though they had planned such an end, it was as though they were setting us up for this, to test us in some way.

Sounds paranoid? Well, having witnessed the behaviour and considered the motives, and the things that just didn’t add up about the group, that weren’t bona fide about the night in general – this is my only conclusion. At least my conclusion isn’t a diatribe of disgusting profanities, though it could have been quite easily after what occurred!

Oh, and if you find yourself in Madrid, avoid the Skeptics Meet-up Group at all cost!

My Unique Selling Point

Image from: http://www.inboundpro.net

Having been a little angry recently, OK very angry recently, I thought I’d attempt to change my tune before I implode!! Hehe!!

Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t resolved the issues that have prodded at my anger. I can’t yet, but I can at least try to delve into the positive side of life for a while to help me forget the bad 🙂

So, I began thinking about my ‘UNIQUE SELLING POINT’!!

In this post my USP is only for my reference, and not meant to impress or ‘WOW’ outside influences by relating to them my amazingness (I jest)!!! At this moment I just want to think about what I like about me, whether others will share the same opinion of me, who knows, I can’t say for sure!

USP is usually something economists or career guidance people chat about. It is unique to you, so only you know what makes you unique 🙂 In that, there is no wrong or right!!!! Yippeee!!!!! In this post I am assuming you are the product you are trying to sell to the world – which is I suppose exactly what we are and what we try to do!!

USP is important stuff then? Well, it is drawing others attention to your value or what you have that they need.

Yet, I do question it, just a teensy-weensy bit!!! Why should USP be used to buy and sell who you are – why should it be used to get others to invest in you??? Can’t it just be for you and you alone??? I mean if they need a USP to believe in you, then it says more about them that it does about you.

Anyway, just for the sake of this post, I am going to reveal (ta-da!!!) my USP. Even though I sometimes question the purpose of such one sided mechanisms of value, I do think it has a place in some circumstances (fickle eh? Not to be included in my USP)!!!! I suppose I just want to ensure we don’t become hung up on such things; it will never be the end of the world if a USP reveals we are not ALL singing and dancing geniuses!!!

OK – lets talk ME!!!! I feel I have many qualities depending on the circumstances those qualities are being assessed within. I think it isn’t so easy to sum up everything I have to offer the world (see, I can be positive when I need to be)!!!!!!

Anyway just to appease the topic of this post here are some of my USP’s (you might or might not be interested)!!!

**I am great at adapting to any situation**

**I am excellent at communication ~ I love to talk & explain**

**I am empathetic and can listen to what is being said**

**I can sing (oh yes I can)!**

**I have lived in the real world (interpret that how you want to)**

**I have a capacity to learn things & very quickly**

**I have a god memory, especially for faces (I should have joined the police)**

**I possess intuitive skills, which have helped me out on many occasions**

**I am affable, but not weak**

So, these are some of my USP’s;

BUT, WHAT ARE YOURS?????????????????????

What do you have to offer that makes you stand out from the herd????

What makes you you???? 

Do you ever consider your USP????

Times A’wasting

Pic from: http://www.tylersheilds.com

I often feel much of my day is taken up with thinking about, worrying about and focusing on the most ridiculous and silliest of things.

I don’t often question this, this is just me going through the motions of my daily existence, and I just accept it. I tell myself; this is life, we all do this, this is the glue that binds the day together, that allows the greater aspects to stand out and mean something. BUT WHY?? Why waste time on such nonsensical matters? Time is precious, we only live once – all these things are told to us daily and still, though I know this, I allow myself to be caught up.

Life seems to me to be filled to the brim with the most inconsequential of things.

We seem to make a habit, or make it life’s purpose to seek and instate the dull and the waste of time. Maybe it has become routine.

We fill minutes, hours and days with emptiness, and don’t even consider the waste.

We don’t cry out, outraged, by being short changed, by not having something more substantial surrounding us.

Immeasurable nonsense seems to be the ‘menu del dia’ every day of the week.

The cost of this cannot be counted in currency, but in that oh so precious transaction, that thing you can never get reimbursed or reinstalled – YOUR TIME!

YOUR TIME which is YOUR LIFE being stolen from you bit by bit, and perhaps you don’t even realise it.

So subtle is the theft that occurs by engaging in an action without any real and true purpose.

Yet, I write all of this and know, tomorrow is another day; once again I shall commence my slavedom to the ridiculous and silliest of things without question.

That’s life!

One Moment In Time

I always remind myself of this whenever I am tempted to wish my life away, which in past years was on a weekly basis (I think it was one of my favourite past times actually)!

When I think back on this it makes me sad that I didn’t or couldn’t value where I was, and what I had because I allowed external factors to rule my roost!

There are so many, maybe too many stresses and strains in daily life. They cause us all to think; ‘can’t wait until 5.00’, ‘can’t wait until later’, ‘can’t wait until weekend’. Yet, why can’t we just settle for being in the moment we inhabit for once, and accepting that?

We rarely pause, think, take stock and allow ourselves to breathe. We seem to battle against life, fear it as an enemy working against our best laid plans. It is a roller coaster we cannot control or shout out to stop it’s momentum carrying us off before we are ready.

In short; life controls us and we don’t control it.

Why are we all so uncomfortable just being?

As I was constructing this post I couldn’t help but think of this poem by William H Davies;

Leisure,
by William H Davies:

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty’s glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began.

A poor life this is if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

Its time to stand and stare people! Go on, just do it; you know you want to……………….