A Test (part 2)


I wouldn’t try to convince anyone the world is an ugly  place – it isn’t the world merely most of the people in it. Either way it’s not for me to convince anyone of either of those things. I would however like it if more often those people selling ‘think positively’, ‘self-help’, ‘self-development’ and ‘life is marvellous’ would be told to stop trying to convince, and brow beat us all into their world view. Alas it seems we prefer a rose tinted life view rather than reality.

I will be honest; often I require a sick bucket whenever I read that type of rose tinted twaddle, as it is so far from the mark for most people.

What I believe, and think about life is merely the alternative side. It is what people do forget about; the real life story. I am neither a positive nor a negative person; I am just being real and I am not succumbing to a notion of selling a fantasy cure all. I do dislike people who perpetually sell life as a bowl of peaches and cream (in that I won’t lie); the reality is that FOR MOST PEOPLE LIFE ISN’T AND WON’T BE PEACHES AND CREAM. Recognising that and representing a real world alternative actually is a balanced and helpful method.

Why must we all always pretend EVERYTHING is marvellous, and disparage those who state otherwise? 

As there will be people, more than less, who wish to see that their life and their feelings about it aren’t as amiss or as fundamentally wrong as most of the ‘positive’ and ‘all is wonderful’ camps state that it is. I feel I can state that life does suck – if not always, mostly; reassuring people out there that they are not alone in thinking this thought.

The fact people remain hopeful, and also keep moving on regardless of the bad is a great thing. I certainly wouldn’t wish for it to be any other way, as I wouldn’t want to see anyone flounder. I ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR EVERYONE; if only that was true of everyone else I have encountered in my life.

Yet does wishing the best also include selling a lie? 

My motivations for stating my views regarding life being quite rubbish for most people is not based upon a sour, miserable or jealous outlook either. I AM NOT NOR EVER HAVE BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON, that is not who I am and that is not my reasoning for thinking or believing what I do. I merely want to convey and establish the state of reality experienced in most people’s lives, and the limitations they face and can’t often change.

Knowing life isn’t peaches and cream doesn’t make me revel in amusement, but I have come to find myself ambivalent. I do admit that perhaps my high expectations for myself, and for others to be kind, genuine and respectful has no doubt affected my view. Perhaps I have expected too much from people, and from life in general. Yet, others have high expectations of achieving material gains, commercial and fame based successes and so on and so on; which for me are high enough to be more often than not unreal and unobtainable. Nevertheless these things are also reinforced as obtainable, normal and desirable by positive thinkers.

So I suppose with this carpe diem philosophy it has become normal for such small gains like genuine kindness to be overlooked in life, because we all want a perfect life and an image of positive greatness. LIFE IS MARVELLOUS after all, BUT WHAT MAKES IT SO? How we treat one another or what we achieve via positive thinking?

By stating all of this doesn’t signify that I underestimate myself or my life either; I have lots to be proud and thankful for, but I now have more realistic expectations of the world about me. What job I have, how new my new car is or how far I’ve travelled – doesn’t matter to me and in truth never did. What has mattered is realising life is flat, dull and fruitless. The other things are just distractions from the realisation.

Those silly things that often cloud people’s perceptions such as; material wealth, healthy living in the gym, obtaining immortal beauty, adhering to the rules of attraction, travelling like a nomad and securing high-flying jobs don’t cloud my realisation. All of these things are equally as worthless; merely an enforced life checklist of procedures to get through (because the time is ticking and you might die tomorrow).

What I do believe is that YOUR LIFE SHOULD BE YOUR LIFE, and you should do with it what you will – not what others churn out you should do; in vast vapid quantities listed as good advice, positive thinking, self-help and self-development.

If you are going to take advice from anyone, THEN TAKE IT FROM YOURSELF NOT OTHERS; who haven’t a clue about you, your life or your limitations. No one can tell you that by thinking positively or being optimistic and buying into ‘life is marvellous’ things will change substantially within your life. Regardless of how much you may plan or hope for the best or even try to change things; often things can and will go belly up! I am sorry, but it is true.

See life as being as empty as those ‘think positively’ promises and things may be better. 

I suppose what I am trying to state is that I can’t jump on the ‘life is marvellous’ bandwagon without admitting the real and severe flaws of it first! Even though many people can and do just to raise their ratings, because they actually don’t give a damn about the consequences of their twaddle.

P.S: This is a sort of response to a conversation – via comments – between myself and Green Embers. Just so he knows I am happy to credit him for the inspiration, and to tell him I do believe him to be a very good sort of person 🙂

A Test


I hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday so far – well of course you all are because you are wonderful people!

I just wanted to spread the love today. I am encouraging everyone out there to trust in themselves and to believe they can achieve. Life is a gift and connecting to others is part of that gift.

Spread the love people, and share your support and goodwill to those who need it. Do something for someone else and make their day fabulous too!

Life is wonderful and deserves to be embraced by you wonderful people out there!

You are fabulous and strong and life is good!

 

UK and EU Split


Shock – or not, the UK have officially voted to LEAVE the EU.

Did the country vote LEAVE as a reaction to their emotional distaste? Probably; in some instances certainly yes. Yet, there were always to be benefits and drawbacks to either option; STAY or GO.

The IMPORTANT question is; what will the agenda NOW be? A case of MPs and the media impeding this massive, and important change for the future with fighting, squabbling and trading insults – I hope not.

Whatever anyone wanted the outcome to be I certainly hope everyone in a position of power will pull together to ensure the exit plan agreed, and future progress benefits the entire of the UK.

Make this about THE ENTIRE of the UK, and not merely just the financial world of London.

I just hope (there is that word again), this result is a mandate to deliver democracy, and will help everyone; not merely as a vehicle to push MP’s private agendas, and create waves of further angst and discontentment.

Whatever, it is not a simple matter or resolution, and I doubt it will become so anytime soon.

 

 

A Game of Dodge Ball


Following on from my very old post; What is Hope? which I recently re-blogged, below is a new analysis of why I hate hope (what a change of opinion, and in only 3 years).

I may seem cynical. I can actually recall sitting in a Sociology class at college and my tutor calling me cynical, because I disagreed with him over Joseph Rowntree’s findings on poverty. I also remember my retort to him; “I’m not cynical, merely truthful and stating reality”. So, I wonder what changed within me; why did my opinions shift so radically from stating reality to becoming optimistically hopeful?

Hopeful is not a word I would use to describe myself now. Why? I actually despise hope.

Hope is a false friend. It is a cruel lie and a myth. Pandora should have been shoved head first in her antiquated box for her part to play its very existence. Why? Well because we cannot see hope, we cannot touch it, we cannot reasonably explain why it is; hope merely is or is not. This is not helpful or useful.

If you have hope you sail along foolishly thinking all will be well with the world. If you don’t have hope you realise life is a game of dodge ball (putting it politely). The best you can do with the latter scenario is laugh (possibly just as you might if you had hope); as who could imagine any other way of dealing with things that seem so grotesquely out of kilter?

“I just hope things will get better”; I am sicking of hearing this phrase! No, they won’t. You can’t just hope bad things away. Hope is another aliment just like being positive, and it wrecks havoc on your life (your real life), and you will never face the fact things are poop. SO, WAKE UP PEOPLE!

Hope is the thing that keeps you dangling in some strange in-between place that you can never really find. It is as frustrating and maddening as it would be searching for the end of a rainbow.

Without hope you probably do die in some metaphorical way, but with hope you will die anyway, but without realising you have been conned by the very thing you clung onto for comfort and truth.

Hope makes you believe in more, but it alone cannot get you what you want. Hope is not some miracle cure all, there is only you, and you alone may not be enough to get enough to make your life what you want.

“Abandon all hope ye that enter here”; yes please do as hope is not going to protect you from any storm, illness, death or mishap. I suggest arming yourself with something more powerful and potent to help you with that.

Sorry for being the cynic and distrusting the motives of hope, but to be blunt hope sucks!

 

 

 

What Is Hope?


Oh dear, I cannot imagine what planet I was on when I wrote this post! A blast from some crazy past; when I had hope. Career aside, as that really is inconsequential right now; perhaps because I have had too many careers to count, and never really settled down. Content, no; hope, no; change, yes – and too much of it!

The Savvy Senorita

Hope, the best weapon against life. Hope, the best weapon against life.

I had a rather disconcerting conversation with my friend yesterday, which all began because I asked the question; “What makes me unusual?”

Somehow the topic shifted. Soon we, I.E my friend and I  begun discussing my desire to pursue a career, and the reason why I insist upon believing in a dream job (term applied loosely; this represents a job I truly enjoy, and feel good about doing).

My friend told me; “Dream jobs don’t exist! Plus, they are immaterial because everyone only works for the money”.

I then tried to explain my take on the dream job; “I need to feel I am achieving something and also progressing. My work life cannot be static; it has to move forwards and not backwards. I need to feel I am respected, appreciated and have responsibility in a job. I want to be treated like an intelligent…

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A Thought on Positive Thinking


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For the love of sanity; can everyone PLEASE let up on the mantra “the world is wonderful”, because I am left wondering who it is you are all trying to convince by saying this. Let me enlighten you; the world might be wonderful for some people, but for a vast majority who live in the REAL WORLD it isn’t all roses and miracles – nor will it be.

I have come to think that the people who perpetually peddle this “positive attitude”, and push all of the self help nonsense are the same people who’ve had very little negative things happen to them during their short lives.

Of course there are many people out there who would love to be sailing away on their mega yacht to the Caribbean (although not me as I am not fond of yachts, sailing or the Caribbean), I have to tell them that this WON’T happen. WHY? Well this cannot be everyone’s life course, because we live in a state of reality and not FANTASY.

99 times out of a 100 people’s lives consist of sucking up the ordinary and mundane whether that be; homelessness, inability to pay their way, horrible jobs, bad wages, no family or friends, death of loved ones, divorce, terrible family lives or whatever else! This is because some people need REAL and constructive help and support, not merely positive thinking alone to change their circumstances.

I know in this world of FANTASY such words are cold and harsh, but they are at least reality; which by the way it seems NO ONE wants to face up to. Of course there is also that other annoying word to deal with too; responsibility. Most people don’t want to just get up and walk away from everything in their life either, or perhaps they just can’t.

An example of those who can and do walk away; a Life Coach once told me he had become a Life Coach merely because he decided one day to this and drop everything else in his life; which also included his Wife and kids. He believed running off to “find himself” was far more admirable than dealing with his reality; his family. What a great positive life message for anyone to emulate; if you happen to be a cold, callous psychopath that is. This Life Coach then wondered why his kids no longer wanted anything to do with him. Erm, I wonder why too.

What truly peeves me though is the PRESSURE applied to people by this positive thinking and self help belief systems. It is the case that people are being told to be things that others deem necessary, and that if they don’t concede then their life cannot be classified as successful or happy. That in itself is a course to unhappiness. The best advice I’ve ever received is JUST BE YOU and BE HAPPY about that.

I wish people could just admit, without guilt, the fact that perhaps they don’t want to do anything with their lives! Why can’t people accept the fact they prefer watching another episode of their favourite TV show, lazing about and eating take away food while drinking too much wine! When people can do this, THEY CAN BE HAPPY or best of all CONTENT.

In this fantasy world we certainly DON’T like to endorse contentment; we weren’t all born to have bigger breasts, younger faces, bigger pecs, porn star sex lives, plenty of money, good jobs and so on and so on and so on, blah, blah, blah.

“We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very p****d off” (Tyler Durden – Fight Club).

In my opinion the positive thinking and self help industry has modelled itself on the cosmetics industry; honing in on everyone’s low self esteem and lack of confidence. They all ONLY WANT YOUR MONEY and in return will ONLY SELL YOU FALSE PROMISES; “if you buy into this new scam everything in your life will become wonderful over night”. Erm, no it won’t!!!! You will still be you and your life will still be what it is.

The key to the positive thinking and self help success is that no one EVER really tells you HOW to achieve anything truly concrete. Yes, it is a secret because YES there are NO REAL answers.

Do you still want that profound over night life changing experience? YES PLEASE! Well, in that case here is my advice for you;

  1. Be ruthless, selfish and determined to the point that no one else and nothing else matters.
  2. Learn to say “sod it” and just do it anyway.
  3. Leading on from this is the necessity to take risks without fearing the consequence of your actions.
  4. Plus, it will certainly help if you have the funds to do everything you ever wanted to do, as either way you will have to keep paying your bills (reality sucks I know – but so too does having a Court Judgement and criminal record for debt related charges).

So, are we all feeling positive yet – or are we beginning to feel reality?

If you need more inspiration then please read the below articles for further insights on how to feel, the reality in life……….

dailymail.co.uk/…/Positive-thinking-makes-sick-JENNI-MURRAY-hates-self-help-industry

positivesharing.com/…/5-ways-positive-thinking-makes-us-miserable-at-work

 

 

How to Guide: Completing Applications


An application form is the initial method for the employer to ask the questions they want answering, so it is important you do exactly that. However, keep it pertinent and succinct just like a CV, with everything an employer would need to know. This is again all about selling yourself to prove that you possess the skills required to do the job, but with an application there is more opportunity to celebrate you in more detail; so ensure your do.

Format: Every application format is different, just like a CV, but it runs on the same type of info requirements; personal details, education details, work details and then skills section, equal opportunity monitoring, plus your references. One thing to note here is that if they ask for your National Insurance number as proof of eligibility to work in the UK on the form, you don’t by law have to submit this. Your National Insurance number is highly confidential and sensitive info. If this was to become lost so too is your entire life history and details of all of you, be warned. They will no doubt ask to see your ID at interview anyway, so let them see it then.

Employers have definitely become nosier: I have noticed that now online applications often ask for submission of qualification certificates. Again I am always cautious and recommend people send the info (as often the form will not submit without these), but ensure certain elements of the documents remain obscured. Think about it, unless the employer is guaranteed as reputable and even then, things can go astray; especially so if the application is to be posted to the employer. If you have submitted all of your life, address and then qualifications too, not to mention a picture of yourself perhaps, then a potential ID thief has it all.

Skills Prep: As we now know employers are fond of their long winded person specs and lists of wanted skills, so check off all of the points they categorise as essential to the role, and as many from their desirable list as possible too. When it comes to constructing your skills section, once again tell them how you match their requirements with your skills, experience and education. Include relevant stuff, and use working examples not just; “I have excellent communication skills” – really, well how? Prove it. Once again if you are unsure there are plenty of online examples, some will be absolute nonsense, but some sites will give you better understanding of what you could include. If you need any help on this matter let me know – I prepped people daily with recruitment and interview skills and I am used to giving my advice to employers regarding their recruitment processes.

Answer the question: The other thing I would always stipulate is how important answering every question is; even if it is a case of placing ‘none applicable’ in the space. Otherwise it looks as though you have forgotten about it, and this looks careless. Often questions can be repeated in one version or another IE ‘Where do you work now or have worked most recently – include address’, ‘Reference address for current or previous employer’ – they will be the same, but include the info twice anyway. Annoying as it is though.

Honesty: If the form requires your reasons for leaving a job don’t be too blunt. Instead of saying ‘I was fired’, explain why you chose to leave in a positive note. I know many people who have left jobs on not such good terms, but manage to secure another, mainly because of how they explained their departure to their potential new employers. Always think; reinforce any negative with a positive outcome, as employers like this.

Check and double check: Ensure the spelling and so on is correct on your application, just as you would with your CV. I advise, especially with lengthy and complicated applications to complete rough drafts, and allow plenty of time to complete the actual version. Ensure you make as many final checks of this as required, and then make amendments. It is rather like completing an essay for university; only after some time away and reflection can you see the wood for the tress and detect mistakes.

Completion: On many applications it might be possible to reduce time but cutting and pasting information from one document to another, but as my previous post regarding recruitment stated, this isn’t always the case. It can also become messy and upset the whole application format. It is the case unfortunately of adding in the details one tap of the keypad after the other. Take regular breaks though, as there is nothing worse than staring at a computer screen feeling as though you haven’t a clue what to type. If you prep and know the jobs’ requirements, know your skills and strengths it will become easier; use the tips I provided for building your CV to help you with this element.

Interests: If the form asks for your interests outside of work, please don’t include anything you wouldn’t want to tell your Mother, or even things like stamp collecting. There is nothing wrong with stamp collecting, and although employers tend to like innocuous hobbies they prefer those which; A) either show team spirit, B) show creativity or C) prove you have no life at all which might come into conflict with the job you are applying for (which doesn’t signify stamp collecting).

Hope this helps you with your application doldrums; any question regarding this topic and let me know. I am happy to help.