The Fabulous Dream Weaver – turning dreams into a reality at a town near you

In the post that follows I will be focusing upon my favourite species of writer; the POSITIVE THINKERS or AKA the Preachers of the new religion. I will be featuring the genre of writing these Preachers like to churn out in abundance; with little prior thought attached.

Yet, there will be those amongst you who no doubt categorise POSITIVE THINKING posts as being logical, soul-saving, invigorating, inspiring and enlightening. I am however doubtful (as ever), that the positive words contained in such writing could truly provide guidance to anyone. They may claim to give us inspiration and hope to right our miserable lives and achieve wonders, but I wonder whether such writing only creates a population of unhappy and discontented people.

I believe that POSITIVE THINKERS, and their positive writing styles encourage others to feel as though they have somehow missed out on something wonderful, and are in short, failures. From this people react; becoming self-obsessed, frustrated and materialistic in their search for life’s deserved glory to be dispensed upon them somehow. Yet, all of this surface sheen and slippery slope to pretension is deemed to be a higher state of being by the POSITIVE THINKING BRIGADE; sad but true.

“It takes more than a few ideas, hopes and little to no effort to go from a just a dream to reality. It’s important to clearly state and write down your dreams or goals this is a vital step. Then create a plan and hold your self accountable for deadlines you have given yourself”.

“Our thoughts become reality”.  Simply said, our mind naturally manifests things into existence if we truly believe in them.  Visualization is one of the best ways to make your dreams come to fruition”.

Above is so typical of the positive thinking prose. It PREACHES a new world religious order dedicated to the church of positive thinking. IS THIS proposition LOGICAL though? Should we also engage in casting some spells, and perform mystical rituals while we dance around an Oak tree naked? Just believe Brothers and Sisters and all will be well with the world; just close your eyes and wish yourself a better life. Is there a pair of ruby slippers on hand too by chance?

There is apparently NO EXCUSE either (other than the laws of logic and the premise of something called – reality) to achieving this magical wonder of new and fantastical existence:

“So for those who sit around making excuses about how they can’t reach their dream or goal. I want you to ask yourself a question is your excuse really worth going through a life time of regret wishing you would have followed your dream?”

Here we go again, brow beating and admonishing in a preaching and condescending tone; linked apparently to this person’s improved wisdom and backbone. This person has achieved the wonderful life, so let us all kneel in awe.

I have to state, as I have done so before; I DON’T AGREE with regrets (stone me to death now). We do what we do because we feel it is the right thing at that time; all of which amounts to worthwhile life experiences. Life IS NOT necessarily just about COUNTABLE ACHIEVEMENTS WHICH SEEMS TO BE SYNONYMOUS WITH MATERIAL GAINS. How is this helping anyone other than trying to give the reader an inferiority complex or hunger for avarice?

Also, if there are NO EXCUSES, where are yours Mr or Miss Writer? You haven’t enlightened us humble nobodies as to how such things are quantifiable or achievable. My advice; what about producing a how-to-guide on this one; might make you some money for the old yarn you are spinning.

Can I ask, as no one else seems to; what is the big secret to all of this creation of a wonderful life by mere thought alone – if it is so possible? Questioning the truth and honesty of these fantastical claims are NEVER answered, merely ignored.

The apparent processes to results are thus……………

“Focusing on the process allows you to view setbacks or failures as opportune to learn and improve.  It may sound cliché (add in by me: yes it does) but it is true failure can become our biggest teachers. I remember when I first started writing there were countless number of people would say I could never be a writer and my dreams were silly and my writing style was filled with misspellings, grammar mistake’s  and grammatical errors (add in by me: has this changed?) Those negative comments just fueled (add in by me: what is this?) my work ethic and made me work harder than I ever did before to improve my skills and to prove them wrong”

Mr or Miss Writer your skills include turning over the same well-trodden ground as a hundred other people before and after you. It is boring and mundane spiel that is merely deemed to be safe and happy; all in the aid of wracking up those ‘likes’.

How do you really feel and what do you really do – those are things I’d like to know. Are you on cloud nine every second of every day? Perpetual positivity and happiness is just not the normal human condition; we all fail and flounder sometimes, and become angry, deflated, upset and frustrated!

I also wonder why is it that those who question this positive writing and associated ideas, are subjected to the seventh circle of Hell from those who lap this type of material up as gospel. They can speak their minds, but Heaven forbid I speak mine and don’t blindly concur with them.   

“Do you fantasize about how your life would be if you make your dreams a reality? (Add in by me: no I fantasize about how wonderful life truly would be minus rubbish like this). Often people avoid following a specific dream because it will takes years to achieve what they want. I want to encourage anybody reading this follow their dreams and passions (add in by me: bravo – give that person a medal or The Nobel Peace Prize).  Whatever your vision, there’s no time like the present to put your big ideas into action (add in by me: throw caution to the wind – sod the bills and whatever else just go for it). Comment below what your dream is & if you like this please share!”

Yes, please do share this – with the bin. Have these POSITIVE PREACHERS NEVER EXPERIENCED A HICCUP IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES – EVER?! There is NO HINT as to what or how this person achieved whatever it is they achieved; if they even achieved it. The insult to injury is the fact this person actually encourages that this motivational idiosyncrasy is spread like a destructive wildfire just so they can then hear; “Wow, you and your words are fabulous”, “So inspirational”.

Why is it fabulous? What has this person revealed or stated that is so fabulous, so mind-blowing, so inspirational and so unique? People like it because everyone else likes it; popular merely creates popular just like the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. Everyone then JUMPS ON THE BANDWAGON hoping to get a piece of the pie.

The ordinary and reality facing us all in life is once again frowned upon, and displayed as unworthy and somehow just not good enough. Or, worse still not taken seriously and dismissed, because one thought alone can dispel such hardships; ill-health, homelessness, murder and so on will then go away forever. Didn’t you know EVERYONE should be (through some innate entitlement) become the Astronaut, Pilot, Actor, Lawyer, Writer, Artist – everyone deserves fame and accolades, and EVERYONE WILL achieve them. Will they though?

We are setting the world up for huge failure here. No wonder Psychologists have huge waiting lists, and everyone is so disappointed that they have to work and live in the real world! It is very like those Quack Doctors who used to sell life purifying cure all’s at the 19th century carnival side shows. They were likeable fellows I am sure, and a colourful charade which was purely meant to titillate their audiences, but NO ONE TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY (well, at least not now in the 21st century)!

Put the word POSITIVE before something, and suddenly it becomes gospel, the new word from God. It makes me laugh though, as these people probably would be reviled at the thought of God and shun the idea of Heaven or Hell, and yet haven’t they read their own (if it is their own) words? It reminds me of religious dogma and those that peddle this thinking positive craze are actually zealots. They refuse to see any other way of life or thinking, and certainly won’t accept any another view point; as we all have to convert to their faith.

Finally I did leave one of my own thoughts (as below) for this person; meant in jest and yes I was being sarcastic. The sentiment was wasted though as they didn’t realise this; so full of their own self-importance:

“It never ceases to amaze me how thinking positively and visualising your dreams alone can be responsible for changing so many people’s lives; wow. It must be some sort of miracle, and I think there should definitely be a way to bottle this, and market it to the general populace. Lives would change in moments! Thanks for posting this – utter revelation and I for one am a convert”.

The person in question actually had the audacity to like my comment, and so too did three of their readership or worshippers. I shall say no more except; is it the blind leading the blind or what?

A Test (part 2)

I wouldn’t try to convince anyone the world is an ugly  place – it isn’t the world merely most of the people in it. Either way it’s not for me to convince anyone of either of those things. I would however like it if more often those people selling ‘think positively’, ‘self-help’, ‘self-development’ and ‘life is marvellous’ would be told to stop trying to convince, and brow beat us all into their world view. Alas it seems we prefer a rose tinted life view rather than reality.

I will be honest; often I require a sick bucket whenever I read that type of rose tinted twaddle, as it is so far from the mark for most people.

What I believe, and think about life is merely the alternative side. It is what people do forget about; the real life story. I am neither a positive nor a negative person; I am just being real and I am not succumbing to a notion of selling a fantasy cure all. I do dislike people who perpetually sell life as a bowl of peaches and cream (in that I won’t lie); the reality is that FOR MOST PEOPLE LIFE ISN’T AND WON’T BE PEACHES AND CREAM. Recognising that and representing a real world alternative actually is a balanced and helpful method.

Why must we all always pretend EVERYTHING is marvellous, and disparage those who state otherwise? 

As there will be people, more than less, who wish to see that their life and their feelings about it aren’t as amiss or as fundamentally wrong as most of the ‘positive’ and ‘all is wonderful’ camps state that it is. I feel I can state that life does suck – if not always, mostly; reassuring people out there that they are not alone in thinking this thought.

The fact people remain hopeful, and also keep moving on regardless of the bad is a great thing. I certainly wouldn’t wish for it to be any other way, as I wouldn’t want to see anyone flounder. I ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR EVERYONE; if only that was true of everyone else I have encountered in my life.

Yet does wishing the best also include selling a lie? 

My motivations for stating my views regarding life being quite rubbish for most people is not based upon a sour, miserable or jealous outlook either. I AM NOT NOR EVER HAVE BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON, that is not who I am and that is not my reasoning for thinking or believing what I do. I merely want to convey and establish the state of reality experienced in most people’s lives, and the limitations they face and can’t often change.

Knowing life isn’t peaches and cream doesn’t make me revel in amusement, but I have come to find myself ambivalent. I do admit that perhaps my high expectations for myself, and for others to be kind, genuine and respectful has no doubt affected my view. Perhaps I have expected too much from people, and from life in general. Yet, others have high expectations of achieving material gains, commercial and fame based successes and so on and so on; which for me are high enough to be more often than not unreal and unobtainable. Nevertheless these things are also reinforced as obtainable, normal and desirable by positive thinkers.

So I suppose with this carpe diem philosophy it has become normal for such small gains like genuine kindness to be overlooked in life, because we all want a perfect life and an image of positive greatness. LIFE IS MARVELLOUS after all, BUT WHAT MAKES IT SO? How we treat one another or what we achieve via positive thinking?

By stating all of this doesn’t signify that I underestimate myself or my life either; I have lots to be proud and thankful for, but I now have more realistic expectations of the world about me. What job I have, how new my new car is or how far I’ve travelled – doesn’t matter to me and in truth never did. What has mattered is realising life is flat, dull and fruitless. The other things are just distractions from the realisation.

Those silly things that often cloud people’s perceptions such as; material wealth, healthy living in the gym, obtaining immortal beauty, adhering to the rules of attraction, travelling like a nomad and securing high-flying jobs don’t cloud my realisation. All of these things are equally as worthless; merely an enforced life checklist of procedures to get through (because the time is ticking and you might die tomorrow).

What I do believe is that YOUR LIFE SHOULD BE YOUR LIFE, and you should do with it what you will – not what others churn out you should do; in vast vapid quantities listed as good advice, positive thinking, self-help and self-development.

If you are going to take advice from anyone, THEN TAKE IT FROM YOURSELF NOT OTHERS; who haven’t a clue about you, your life or your limitations. No one can tell you that by thinking positively or being optimistic and buying into ‘life is marvellous’ things will change substantially within your life. Regardless of how much you may plan or hope for the best or even try to change things; often things can and will go belly up! I am sorry, but it is true.

See life as being as empty as those ‘think positively’ promises and things may be better. 

I suppose what I am trying to state is that I can’t jump on the ‘life is marvellous’ bandwagon without admitting the real and severe flaws of it first! Even though many people can and do just to raise their ratings, because they actually don’t give a damn about the consequences of their twaddle.

P.S: This is a sort of response to a conversation – via comments – between myself and Green Embers. Just so he knows I am happy to credit him for the inspiration, and to tell him I do believe him to be a very good sort of person 🙂

A Test

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday so far – well of course you all are because you are wonderful people!

I just wanted to spread the love today. I am encouraging everyone out there to trust in themselves and to believe they can achieve. Life is a gift and connecting to others is part of that gift.

Spread the love people, and share your support and goodwill to those who need it. Do something for someone else and make their day fabulous too!

Life is wonderful and deserves to be embraced by you wonderful people out there!

You are fabulous and strong and life is good!

 

A Game of Dodge Ball

Following on from my very old post; What is Hope? which I recently re-blogged, below is a new analysis of why I hate hope (what a change of opinion, and in only 3 years).

I may seem cynical. I can actually recall sitting in a Sociology class at college and my tutor calling me cynical, because I disagreed with him over Joseph Rowntree’s findings on poverty. I also remember my retort to him; “I’m not cynical, merely truthful and stating reality”. So, I wonder what changed within me; why did my opinions shift so radically from stating reality to becoming optimistically hopeful?

Hopeful is not a word I would use to describe myself now. Why? I actually despise hope.

Hope is a false friend. It is a cruel lie and a myth. Pandora should have been shoved head first in her antiquated box for her part to play its very existence. Why? Well because we cannot see hope, we cannot touch it, we cannot reasonably explain why it is; hope merely is or is not. This is not helpful or useful.

If you have hope you sail along foolishly thinking all will be well with the world. If you don’t have hope you realise life is a game of dodge ball (putting it politely). The best you can do with the latter scenario is laugh (possibly just as you might if you had hope); as who could imagine any other way of dealing with things that seem so grotesquely out of kilter?

“I just hope things will get better”; I am sicking of hearing this phrase! No, they won’t. You can’t just hope bad things away. Hope is another aliment just like being positive, and it wrecks havoc on your life (your real life), and you will never face the fact things are poop. SO, WAKE UP PEOPLE!

Hope is the thing that keeps you dangling in some strange in-between place that you can never really find. It is as frustrating and maddening as it would be searching for the end of a rainbow.

Without hope you probably do die in some metaphorical way, but with hope you will die anyway, but without realising you have been conned by the very thing you clung onto for comfort and truth.

Hope makes you believe in more, but it alone cannot get you what you want. Hope is not some miracle cure all, there is only you, and you alone may not be enough to get enough to make your life what you want.

“Abandon all hope ye that enter here”; yes please do as hope is not going to protect you from any storm, illness, death or mishap. I suggest arming yourself with something more powerful and potent to help you with that.

Sorry for being the cynic and distrusting the motives of hope, but to be blunt hope sucks!

 

 

 

Whose Biological Clock?

It is a very normal and accepted state of affairs; the older man and the younger woman. These relationships are so common place they have become a cliche. Yet, when the reverse is considered; an older woman and a younger man people seem to be sickened by the very idea.

Why?

What is good for the goose is good for the gander, or so I’ve been told. So I ask myself; what makes us sit in judgement over a woman doing what she wants with whomever she wants to do it with (in a literal sense)?

Attraction, and even love aren’t always formulated from what we as individuals may perceive to be ideal. We all have different tastes and desires after all, because by our very nature or nurture, we are all different. Whether it be older men, younger women, older women and younger men, who really cares or more importantly why should we care? After all, it isn’t our business and it isn’t our life!

What I find I dislike most when I hear of or see other people’s reactions to an older women and younger man’s relationship, is that the older woman is so highly disapproved of. Almost as though once a woman is passed thirty it is game over!

Perhaps the reason for this is because once a woman passes thirty she is suddenly deemed unworthy of gaining love, affection and sex from anyone, especially a younger man? Could this be because she is considered to be well passed her prime functions of; marriage material, a baby making machine or sex goddess? If so I wonder whose biological clock (and just to let you know I hate this phrase), is actually ticking?

If we are all attracted to one another based on those three options we are making a rod for our own backs. 

I find this aversion to older women and younger men to be contradictory, and quite sad actually. I say this not just because I am a woman either. There are so many intelligent, talented, beautiful and successful women out there, passed thirty, forty or even fifty. They still have their whole life to live. Yet, society insists on forcing these independent, fierce and capable beings into small and restrictive boxes, dictating what they should and shouldn’t be doing.

Isn’t it about time these boxes were crushed under these women’s designer heels?

I for one believe that; no longer should the soft top sports car be the preferred babe hunting vehicle of men only, it isn’t desperate to want to pay for your man’s designer suit, it isn’t unladylike or shocking to appreciate a younger physique, especially one that sports a six pack.

Basically, for anyone still in doubt; it isn’t wrong or disgusting to find someone attractive who is younger or older than you are, and it isn’t wrong or disgusting to find their success, money or experience attractive too!

I say; let us live and let live!

The Fight For Life

Some words worth heeding……..

The dish of the day

Not a place I’d wish to dine at, but there are a few who should…………………..

 

Life’s a Journey

I like to think of things this way, what about you……………….?

Room 101

Attention all readers!!! I am asking all of you (at this blog and those I guest write for), to become more interactive with what I write. By that I mean, voting on my posts and also choosing the topics I write about. 

The reason being……………

 I need feedback for my Room 101 posts.

Let me explain the premise of Room 101 posts………………

I’m going to be writing about things I wish to banish from the world because I hate or dislike them.

These Room 101 posts will be inspired by subjects, and these subjects can cover anything, basically anything goes. So for example subjects could be; ‘Modern Life’, ‘Going Out’, ‘People Who Are Happy’, ‘Stereotypes’, ‘Banks’ (and so on and so forth).

Whatever subject is chosen by my readers, I will then write a post about and state what it is I hate or dislike about this subject.

Then you, the reader, can decide if I have made a persuasive enough argument to actually banish what annoys me, to Room 101.

Does this make sense??? I hope so………………….!

So, these posts won’t work unless I gain your feedback and your involvement in choosing the subjects I will then write about.

To kick off these Room 101 posts I have chosen the fist subject; ‘Modern Life’.

One thing I hate about modern life is;

The use of silly acronyms, especially, Y.O.L.O or ‘you only live once’.

“You only live once” seems to be a phrase used in conjunction with excusing something someone wishes to do that most probably others will frown upon.

It’s a phrase, which I feel screams vapid and glib. Is this what the modern world is??

Why should we concern ourselves with politics, law, money and love, because if we only live once, and live for the now, why bother thinking of others and what comes next?

For me, Y.O.L.O encourages people to adopt a selfish, self centred, self serving, egotistical, hedonistic approach to their life and take others for granted.

If Y.O.L.O isn’t meant as; do all you can, get all you can and to Hell with the consequences then what in fact does it truly mean? Does anyone ever consider the meaning before they say Y.O.L.O? Are people in the modern world less inclined to think before they speak?

I would love to put this Y.O.L.O saying to the test, and see where it gets me! It might make a good sociological study; test the theory of how Y.O.L.O makes you less interested in anyone but yourself! The Y.O.L.O ‘theory’ could inspire a damn good comedy film! Or is it in fact already a title to a James Bond movie??

Anyway, I for one would like to banish the use of Y.O.L.O to Room 101, because for me it has no viable usage. It’s senseless and stupid and we wouldn’t miss it if it wasn’t part of some urban dictionary or online chat room.

BUT – what do you think?

This is where you, the reader, gets involved.

Tell me what you think, decide if Y.O.L.O should be banished to Room 101 and then set me another topic to write about (and we begin the process again). 

I look forward to reading what you come up with!!

Why I Hate New Year Resolutions

Why I hate New Year resolutions;

Because we always allow ourselves to perceive that the previous year was a failure, a let-down, a time when we weren’t good enough.

After all, isn’t that really what the notion of a resolution alludes to – we are all failures, and therefore are required to modify and rectify that at all cost?

Why can’t we just be us, and decide we don’t need to change?

Resolutions are very like false promises;

Sorry, but I’m not going to jump on the positivity bandwagon. I’m not going say that 2015 will be your year, and that you have the power to transform and achieve. Mainly because I don’t really buy into all that stuff!!! The reason being; I see all of that rhetoric as negative, life assassination, and unnecessary pressure to live up to other people’s expectations of us.

Why should we buy into the idea that with every new year we will suddenly all morph into wonder women or men? That in 2015 we will definitely be destined to become another person, a wonderful person, in fact a person you were probably never actually meant to be.

It’s all just a teensy weensy bit delusional;

Just because it will soon to be 2015 doesn’t mean anything has fundamentally changed. We can’t shrug off the past; we all have our individual life experiences, thoughts, ideas, desires and so on.

Why is it with a new year we then become washed clean??

More importantly, why do we want to be??

Just be you;

Because life, from one year to the next, is merely about the experiences we have and share, the learning curve and the path we chose to travel.

I can make a million resolutions, but it doesn’t mean I can or will fundamentally change!

I am merely advocating the ethos; be kind to yourself. I am asking you all to stop applying the pressure to be what you’re not. I make a plea for you all not to view your life (you) as a failure thus far. I call for us all to stop procrastinating with resolutions, which are only made to then be broken.

I suggest that we don’t wait for another new year to come and go; live life now and have fun amassing your experiences, which you should then proudly reflect back upon, without qualms and guilt!

Live your life now, while it is here, and see what it brings you! All the ups and downs are welcome, it is life and you can’t just pick and choose the best bits and edit the rest.

So, let 2015 be what it will be – life as we know it.

Oh, and my New Year Resolution; don’t make any, quite simple really!