“I Am Beautiful No Matter What They Say”……..

Apparently NOT!

Discount EVERY lyric of the Christina Aguilera song. Miss Aguilera sang it, and now perhaps regrets doing so.

One celebrity woman’s quest to be what ever she wants to be, yet again falls flat.

FAT = UGLY because society tells us that all the time, and we as individuals cannot tame the power society wields over us all. It is a definite one sided society that we live in though.

If you read the recent article I wrote ‘Consider Her Ways’ My Article, you know I don’t necessarily like seeing any flesh (et al) on show, whether thin or fat. Yet, I don’t like it full stop. I don’t make up silly little rules regarding what is OK, and who should or shouldn’t show off their flesh, or who is and isn’t beautiful. In fact I am more sick of people dictating that thinner people ought to have the monopoly on nakedness, scantily clad dressing and beauty.

WHY? Why is that OK? Why are only thin people seen as the cream of the crop in society? Why are only thin people ‘allowed’ to get it all out on show for everyone to ogle at?

It seems this is the question Miss Aguilera didn’t ask, and just accepted the dictated ‘norm’ as the Gospel of God (or, whatever else holds absolute truth)!!

What is the difference in being larger or thinner? She showed her bottom when she was thin, and who knows how she remained thin; was it via a healthy route or not? Does anyone care so long as she didn’t offend and gain weight! Heaven forbid!

Miss Aguilera wore more clothes when she gained weight, and yet, still she was deemed grotesque. So, whether she flaunted her more rounder bottom or not, it was still unacceptable, and yet, isn’t it HER business whether she chooses to be fat or thin? Isn’t it her choice what she does in her own life? Just like it is apparently individual choice to, expose the flesh to all and sundry or remain covered up.

I personally think exposing ones self unnecessarily to anyone who will look, is bad taste! I don’t care whether that body is thin or fat. There is NO need for ANYONE to wander around with their wobbly bits on show. NO NEED!

Yet, apparently people over a size 12 really shouldn’t, they should NOT accept their bodies at all. Perhaps these ‘fat people’ should do society a favour, and just go and die. Great attitude to instil in the future generations that individuality sucks! We as human beings are merely aspiring to be like, and look like everyone else about us! Wow, what a feat of achievement, we should ALL be proud of ourselves as we all look the same.

Just to let you all know, I am OVER a size 12 – OH GOD shoot me now!!!!!!!!! Should I hide away and die too?? Am I ugly, a blot upon societal perfection?? Should I be ashamed to show my skin too?? Am I less attractive than a size 8??

Who is anyone to tell me YES?

I have fought all my life to feel I am HUMAN because I am NOT a twiglet, because I have curves, because I have always been a little different. I have recently succeeded in feeling good about me, well, over last few years anyway; and let me tell you – it was bloody hard work. As a woman, and being determined NOT to follow the herd, well that is never easy. Anyway, I exercise and eat well, so what am I doing wrong other than refusing to become what is for me, unattainably thin? Well, the media and anyone else who feels I am in need of reprimand aren’t shy to inform me that I should be ashamed of myself. I need to be thinner and trimmer. I need to be X, Y or Z or don’t bother even thinking I can wear a short skirt or indeed be beautiful.

Yet, I am beautiful.

All I want, which perhaps others do too; is to live in a world where the only label a woman HAS to wear are those sewn into her clothes, regardless of the size of those clothes.

Maybe this might seem odd but, beauty to me is more than flesh, size, shape or even dictated fashions of what is hot or not. Beauty can’t be bottled, shipped and sold, it can’t be manipulated, created, identified beyond a doubt or universally applied. Yet, we all try to do this for some reason.

See here for another article I wrote about ‘normal’: Who Is Being Allowed To Redefine Normal?

So, below is the article that instigated this angry post!! Take a look at this blatant self depreciating, and contradictory ‘enlightening’ piece which salutes thin, and encourages a certain view point as far as beauty is concerned.

Oh, and health apart, this is an image and confidence and acceptance thing. I’m not talking about illnesses, obesity and God knows what else. For the record, anyone can die of anything at any-time. So, I don’t wish to debate fat as a health issue. Thank you!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2344265/Christina-Aguilera-proudly-shows-dramatic-weight-loss-skintight-skirt-The-Voice-finale.html

Consider Her Ways

Now I LOVE fashion (or style), always have and no doubt, always will. BUT (and this must be a significant ‘but’ for me to begin a sentence with it); I despise the notion that summer fashion equals everything on show for all to see.

Now before people pull me up on being anything but my usual ‘each to their own’, I have NO issue with individuality, freedom to express yourself and your own fashion tastes. All I ask is why can’t people CONSIDER their ways a little more for the sake of others, who, might struggle to retain their lunch upon viewing such things?

I am sick of sun = flesh equation, because this equation has detracted clothes from ladies considerably over recent years. Especially here, in Madrid.

Now I know how warm it becomes here, I am suffering and the temps aren’t even at their highest yet. I am from the UK, we are lucky to see 24 degrees for a summertime! So, perhaps I am allowing myself to feel shocked at what effects the sun can have upon people’s minds, and how it often causes a lack of clothes to occur.

Anyway, I just call for some public ‘decency’. I really don’t care if anyone feels I am being prudish or whatever else, because I don’t see how walking half naked equates to ‘liberation’ or ‘fashion’.

I ask the men out there; would you like to see the bum cheeks, and goodness knows what else, of fellow men as you go about your daily routines? Half naked men everywhere, all the time? It wouldn’t bother me, but then I am a woman!

Women will pass by with their bum cheeks (et al) on show as you eat. Standing on a packed metro train they pass you by with their bottoms rubbing upon you. After they have sweated upon seats you too will have to then sit upon. HYGIENE PLEASE!!

I mean women wear as little as possible, underwear little. I just wonder what is left to take off and expose?

OR, who ARE THEY exposing themselves too??

If their skirts blow up, and they are wearing teeny tiny thongs they often feel embarrassed, or they yank down their short skirts to keep them from exposing whatever. If a man stares at them they return his stare with a glare as though he is the pervert for looking at their nakedness! So, I am confused!

Do women feel they are dressing with everything on show for men, themselves or could it possibly be for the benefit of other women?

Could it be that any human forced into a ‘pack’ reverts back to archaic psychology – ‘top dog’ attitude, the top of the pecking order? Having to prove to their pack that they are THE ALPHA, THE BEST mating partner?

If it is dressing for themselves then, well, what can I do; but it doesn’t stop me becoming nauseous! Having to walk about and bear witness to the bare really makes me feel a little dirty!

Yes, dirty! I can’t explain it, and this is no doubt my psychological issue as much as theirs, but I see this ‘cave woman’ dress as just something I don’t need nor want to do. Also, I don’t want to see other women’s bits and bobs on display, I really don’t ‘feel’ it!

All I know is that I have always been my own person, and if someone can’t appreciate me fully clothed then I am not interested in them. I don’t need to strip to be accepted, included or validated.

Maybe I am beginning a new revolution; keep your clothes on!

If someone says that wearing little clothes is progress I’ll scream – the Victorians had the Whale bone corset, and we have the dinky, teeny, tiny butt cleavage shorts! Think about it – what has changed?

Oh, and for the record I don’t want to be ‘tan-tastic’ either – I love my paler skin tone – thanks!

What’s Going On?

Well it has been a hectic few weeks. Things seem to be sluggishly moving forward, but at least they are moving forward!

I have been volunteering for a couple of weeks, time has flown by! My volunteering; carrying out research for a project the organisation are hoping to run, and also I have been out and about looking at open spaces in the city. Yes, open spaces in Madrid, the city does have them, they are just quickly occupied with people, bars, and so on!!!

The work has been good and given me a focus, plus, there are possibilities of doing more volunteering – which is what I want eventually. I have also enjoyed being valued! It is weird, but I haven’t felt for ages that my input and contribution have been actually valued (in a work setting)! Now I feel I am being valued again!!!! I feel although what I am currently doing is only a small contribution, this contribution is something worthwhile. It feels good!

The project I am volunteering for is about bringing the homeless community, and other organisations in the city who can offer help and support, together as one. At this current moment vagrancy or homelessness goes against the grain of acceptability. The state of being without a home is completely unconducive with the Spanish Governments ideas on how things should be. They have adopted the stance that a person chooses to be homeless. Some officials here are speaking out in disgust, they have said that this attitude, and these policies hark back to the dictatorship of Franco. I can see why.

So, I am continuing to explore what is what with the volunteering, BUT, I have also joined some ‘meet up’ groups.

I have attended one ‘Coffee and Tea’ meet up group – it was actually OK. Not at all like I thought it would be; reminiscent of my initial experiences with language exchanges or intercambios! See this post for my views on intercambios: The Language Exchange

This ‘social’ meet up group was friendly and formal all at the same time. It was more tailored around getting to know people, and possibly networking and so on. I thought the organiser of this group to be a genuine and friendly individual, and everyone else in attendance seemed so nice too. So enchanted am I by these newly found ‘meet up social thingy-me-bobs’ I have signed up for two more ‘Coffee and Tea’ meetings, which I am looking forward to!!!

All of this social change is bringing me feelings of happiness and direction. I am quite excited to see where it all leads me!! Although I am a little nervous, I am actually more looking forward to the events rather than apprehensive. I am curious and want to network with people, I feel I have to do this, the time is right for me, and the opportunity is wonderful!!

So, to continue the exploration I have decided to join a further two ‘meet up social thingy-me-bobs’ – there is just no stopping me, I feel so dynamic at the moment I believe I can achieve anything! These two new groups are more what I have been hoping to find. They represent THE thing I enjoy MOST, therefore, these groups are what I am MOST nervous about! One group is purely a discussion group, and the other is a writers group. So, fingers crossed these groups will prove as interesting and useful as the ‘Coffee and Tea’ version, and fingers crossed I will get along fine!!!

I have also been talking with friends about delivering informal English classes, and they are keen to be my guinea pigs, I mean students! In fact, they are so keen they have been recruiting their own acquaintances to take my classes! I don’t know whether this will pan out, as there is so much uncertainty around it, but there is a slim chance it might, and I then will be actually ‘teaching’ for some much required cash!

So, all in all things have just taken off – plus the decision to create another blog and also looking at possible YouTube videos too.

Here is hoping things continue to move in a good, positive and happy direction – I need it!!

My New Blogs!

Hi all,

I just wanted to let you know I have begun a new blog dedicated solely to fashion.

Please take a look!!! I know fashion blogging won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but please pass on my new site to anyone you think would be interested. I would appreciate ALL of your support!!!!

So, after deliberating on addresses and names and so on – I have gone with ‘i of fashion’ at http://bbhough.wordpress.com

I have been mulling over the idea of a fashion blog for a long time, and have decided to give it a go and see what happens. So, I am ‘officially’ a fashion blogger now!!!!!

So, keep your eyes peeled for more fashion articles on bbhough.wordpress.com!!!!

Many thanks,

Bex

Excuse Me!!!!

What bugs me most, well, OK this particular thing is not THE most annoying thing in the whole world, but  it is on my ’10 things I hate’ list. Don’t believe me, well, check it out; 10 Things I Hate.

So, what is this annoying ‘little’ oversight, well, a lack of MANNERS of course!!!!!!!!

Living in a city is never going to be picture book perfection, I’m not crazy enough to think it is. Not everyone will always don smiles from ear to ear or be pleasant and happy. Nor will they dance and swirl around as though they are part of the cast of some lavish musical. Yet, I didn’t realise that SO MANY people could leave their homes every morning, and FORGET that one essential thing that makes this world that more sweeter and bearable; their manners.

Who brought them up exactly, parents or vultures?

What effort or time does it t of to express gratitude with ‘thank you’, ‘sorry’, ‘excuse me’ – ermmm, NONE! Well, not for me anyway, it is automatic because I am not an inconsiderate, selfish oaf.

Everyday on the streets and Metro, in the stores and museums of Madrid there are idiots. These idiots blatantly go out of their way to annoy, to cause disruption and general angst – basically these idiots are pushing their luck! I have often wondered when, or indeed IF, someone will one day just snap, and slap them!!

To be honest – it sometimes begins to feel like a battle, a free for all, a power struggle, a dominance thing. Call me paranoid, but it is almost as though these people are trying to root out those who are weaker, those whose nerve will cave in quicker, those who are foolish enough do adhere to manners and good conduct. They, these aggressive and arrogant morons, can then laugh at such weak considerate and mannerly people, as they mow us down on the street with their heels, handbags, elbows, dogs, pushchairs and God knows what else!!!

Honestly, good manners and consideration must be a rare thing here in Madrid now, a thing which will very soon be extinct.

People push and shove; they barge right into me, physically knocking me out of their way. They think nothing of cutting me up on the walkways, so I nearly trip up. They hog all the walkway too, and often walk as slowly as snails because they act as though THEY own that piece of ground, and I am an intruder. These idiots just keep walking, and I mean walking at me and into me, just like they intend to mow me over (which they do). They expect me, to give way to them, to jump up out of their way like a fricken acrobat; just so they and their lazy butts can get past without disruption or inconvenience. What, so two steps to either the left or right of me on a walkway is such a inconvenience??? MENTAL!!!! Good God, there is plenty of room for EVERYONE to walk, yet these fools won’t give way, WHY???!!!! WTF???!!! They would prefer to see me lying on the floor with their footmarks all over my crumpled and bruised body – seriously, they need their heads reading!

People also are not adverse to sitting, standing or talking too close to my personal space (again, when there is NO need as there is plenty of room for us all to be in one place without sitting on each other)!!! Men will take the last seat on the Metro train while a woman stands up with shopping. Children bump into me, and play about without a care of whose foot they are trampling all over. Their parents, well, absent, and engaged in loud conversation about nonsense – too busy to tell their offspring ‘STOP IT’!!! People stare, really stare, the daggers are out type of stares! Honestly, I can be travelling on the Metro, minding my own business, and for the entire journey I can be stared at. These people thing nothing of wasting their time looking me up and down and up and down, as though I am some freak of nature. It is like I’m dressed in my underwear only, which is something I never do, and yet those who do dress like that NEVER get stared at. WHY?!!!!!

I am becoming a little more ARGHHH everyday – and I think, I shall be the one to slap the next person guilty of these crimes of ill mannerly foolishness.

So, take heed people of Madrid and BEWARE!!