Motivation At Its Best!


It is Monday, I am taking a flight back to the UK in only a few hours time, and I am nervous, and angst ridden as usual.

So, I felt I required some inspiration and motivation to coax my mind that all is well *sigh*. Well, what better than making myself FEEL good with MUSIC and a bit of DANCING!!!

The tune included in this post IS ONE OF MY FAVOURITE by ONE OF MY FAVOURITE bands called; ‘Rudimental’!

Fantastic song, wonderful lyrics that really capture my whole outlook at the moment. The words remind me to stay determined in everything I do; ‘I’m not giving in’!

By the way, if anyone is looking for a great song to exercise to, or even clean the house to – this is it!!!!!!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9-Lwpgfd1E

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Confident? Who Can Tell?


I don’t want to dig at anyone else. I don’t want to say; ‘hey you are wrong’! Yet, I have to state, just for my won record, that I don’t necessarily agree on any one definition of confidence, or in fact how to spot confidence.

Until I know a person I refrain from making a sweeping judgement on them and their life history. Perhaps, because I spent my life being judged by others!!! I also don’t agree that by being confident it can make you a beautiful person, because confidence alone doesn’t make a person anything.

I also question whether any one person is 100% confident? I doubt they are, and doubt they are confident 100% of the time. Also, how often is confidence mistook for being arrogant, cocky, foolish, dismissive, spiteful, brash and so on and so on?

I too used to think, because I was actually told by people who said they were under confident; the reasons these people always bragged about themselves and their life, bullied others, acted up or had to be the comedian, talked too much and too loudly, was because they felt under confident. Perhaps this is true for some people, but not for everyone.

Now, I have never been 100% confident in me – NEVER! Yet, I am good at masking this, moving on, challenging myself and pushing myself to ensure I don’t hide away. I can appear confident no doubt, but not by bragging, talking too loudly or rambling on and on about me in conversation. Just by how I interact, what I am willing to do, even good eye contact and positive body language.

In fact, I learnt to not brag myself up or what I had or did from a young age. Bragging was believed to be crass, and discussing your personal life and wealth was too. Also hogging the conversation, talking too loudly about nonsense or personal matters, and acting like a complete fool to gain attention – all were deemed crass and a BIG no, no!

I was brought up to be modest, not to ‘blow my own horn’, to listen and then speak, to be mannerly and adhere to social etiquettes. In short, I was taught to not act as though I were too important, not to place myself above other people. Whether I was richer, more intelligent, more talented, artistic, or whatever; I had to just keep quiet about it all, and allow others to impart to me their life stories.

Being forced to be modest all of the time, and this sort of ‘social conditioning’, along with other issues, has actually contributed over the years to my own battle with under confidence. Another reason, one of THE most profound reasons for feeling bad about me in general, stems from being severely bullied from a young age up until I left school. This was actually because of who I was, and what others perceived of me. I know because some of these bullies actually admitted this to me at one point. They bullied me because they saw me as threat. I wouldn’t be like them, I didn’t want to be their friends, I refused to bow to what they wanted or act as though I wasn’t an individual with my own brain.

Yet, some people think that ALL bullies have confidence issues, well, my bullies may have had those issues, yet I do too and have NEVER bullied another.

So is it wrong to display a ‘false confidence’? Is it wrong to brag about you, to talk loudly, to perhaps not listen intently, to be the comedian (or whatever else)? Well consider this, how can anyone get anywhere unless they are willing to at least brag a little about themselves and their qualities? How do we become an employee, a student, a boss, an entrepreneur, how do we get a bank loan or find a partner? We display ourselves in the best possible light, and we talk about what we can offer, and often languish in a little self importance.

People may be or not be confident, BUT people being people WILL display this under confidence in many varying ways. There isn’t one type of anything. Confidence, like the weather, changes depending on what, who, where and how.

In my opinion any-way!!!

Related articles: from lifeonwry.com at WordPress
Can You Spot A Truly Confident Person?

Normal? Are we?


‘Normal’ should be classed as THE best illusion in any magician’s act. We all appear, like an illusion, to be normal – and we do it everyday without stage lights and slight of hand.

Bex (AKA ‘The Savvy Senorita’) July 2013

What? Leaving Again?


Oh dear, off I traipse again – back to the UK.

I am not necessarily as thrilled as I thought I would be. In fact, I am thoroughly mixed up about whether I am happy to be returning or not; these mixed up feelings are nothing new!

I felt initially it was a good thing for me. Time alone, get my head back where it should be, break away from certain ‘stress’ factors. Also, there are still things I have to attend to, things I didn’t manage to fully complete on my last visit. Plus, the summer here has really been taking its toll on me, this year I am SUFFERING!!!!

Yet, I feel a little frustrated by the interruption a return visit to the UK will create.

Today I received an invite to go somewhere from a really good friend here, a good friend that I don’t get to see as often as I’d like to. Going back means I will miss this opportunity, yet again, just like last time I had to return to the UK.

In a way it seems like time out makes everything suffer. Recently there has been lots of new things that I am just beginning to really get involved with, and now I have to leave it all behind for a six week stay in the UK!!!

I begin hitting my stride here in Madrid and BAM!!!!! Back to the UK I have to go.

So, not only are plans to progress being thwarted, but plans with friends too. I can’t live a life, a full and rich life with either foot in two different camps. This year I have spent more time in the UK than actually in Madrid – or at least it feels that way.

I know most people desert the city during August, so there won’t be much to actually miss out on, but I feel somehow I WILL be missing out. The issue is, once I return to Madrid it takes me a bit of time to re-adjust, to really get back into living here again. Being in Madrid is a whole different ball game to being in the UK. The more often I return to the UK, the more I can clearly see the differences between here and there;

AND I DON’T WANT TO SEE THE DIFFERENCES!!!!!

I also like hiding away from certain B.S that lurks in the UK. Yes, hiding away!!!

I just want to feel fully immersed in this life, this life here in Madrid.

I know I have another year here, well, until December 2014, but so far getting moving and actually accomplishing anything concrete has been a nightmare.

At the moment feeling I am settling and making steps to move forward is crucial for me. For once, which is unusual for me – I am actually valuing staying put, making plans and not flitting from one thing to another. I am enjoying knowing that I have some stability, something to build up upon socially and ‘career’ wise. All this back and forth just seems to undermine that stability!!!!!!!

 

Anyway, I apologise for how dumb this may ‘sound’ upon reading. I feel these issues really are THE most stupid of things to ‘moan’ about. After all, NONE of these ‘issues’ constitute as the end of the world!!!!!!!! I hear you all say – Bex, WHAT THE HELL?! OK, noted and I am currently shaking myself, and ceasing to be so self absorbed!!!!!!!!