Consider Her Ways

Now I LOVE fashion (or style), always have and no doubt, always will. BUT (and this must be a significant ‘but’ for me to begin a sentence with it); I despise the notion that summer fashion equals everything on show for all to see.

Now before people pull me up on being anything but my usual ‘each to their own’, I have NO issue with individuality, freedom to express yourself and your own fashion tastes. All I ask is why can’t people CONSIDER their ways a little more for the sake of others, who, might struggle to retain their lunch upon viewing such things?

I am sick of sun = flesh equation, because this equation has detracted clothes from ladies considerably over recent years. Especially here, in Madrid.

Now I know how warm it becomes here, I am suffering and the temps aren’t even at their highest yet. I am from the UK, we are lucky to see 24 degrees for a summertime! So, perhaps I am allowing myself to feel shocked at what effects the sun can have upon people’s minds, and how it often causes a lack of clothes to occur.

Anyway, I just call for some public ‘decency’. I really don’t care if anyone feels I am being prudish or whatever else, because I don’t see how walking half naked equates to ‘liberation’ or ‘fashion’.

I ask the men out there; would you like to see the bum cheeks, and goodness knows what else, of fellow men as you go about your daily routines? Half naked men everywhere, all the time? It wouldn’t bother me, but then I am a woman!

Women will pass by with their bum cheeks (et al) on show as you eat. Standing on a packed metro train they pass you by with their bottoms rubbing upon you. After they have sweated upon seats you too will have to then sit upon. HYGIENE PLEASE!!

I mean women wear as little as possible, underwear little. I just wonder what is left to take off and expose?

OR, who ARE THEY exposing themselves too??

If their skirts blow up, and they are wearing teeny tiny thongs they often feel embarrassed, or they yank down their short skirts to keep them from exposing whatever. If a man stares at them they return his stare with a glare as though he is the pervert for looking at their nakedness! So, I am confused!

Do women feel they are dressing with everything on show for men, themselves or could it possibly be for the benefit of other women?

Could it be that any human forced into a ‘pack’ reverts back to archaic psychology – ‘top dog’ attitude, the top of the pecking order? Having to prove to their pack that they are THE ALPHA, THE BEST mating partner?

If it is dressing for themselves then, well, what can I do; but it doesn’t stop me becoming nauseous! Having to walk about and bear witness to the bare really makes me feel a little dirty!

Yes, dirty! I can’t explain it, and this is no doubt my psychological issue as much as theirs, but I see this ‘cave woman’ dress as just something I don’t need nor want to do. Also, I don’t want to see other women’s bits and bobs on display, I really don’t ‘feel’ it!

All I know is that I have always been my own person, and if someone can’t appreciate me fully clothed then I am not interested in them. I don’t need to strip to be accepted, included or validated.

Maybe I am beginning a new revolution; keep your clothes on!

If someone says that wearing little clothes is progress I’ll scream – the Victorians had the Whale bone corset, and we have the dinky, teeny, tiny butt cleavage shorts! Think about it – what has changed?

Oh, and for the record I don’t want to be ‘tan-tastic’ either – I love my paler skin tone – thanks!

A Diary of A ‘Shallow Hal’

I have noticed that whenever kids receive presents they are always fascinated by the pretty, and elaborate packaging of the gifts. Colourful and ornate wrapping papers, ribbons and bows hold absolute obsession for them; they have no interest in the box the gifts are in, so preoccupied with the outer appearances they ignore the real gift inside. I got to thinking; are we still those children, only enamoured and preoccupied by the wrappings of people, and not interested in opening the box to discover the true beauty of the person within?

The human race seems to be fascinated with outer beauty and appearances, so much so that we seemingly cannot look beyond. What is beauty? Is it merely powder, paint and Photoshop or is there more to it than that?

After only a quick internet search it wasn’t long before I discovered articles, blogs, posts and so on, pertaining to physical manifestations of beauty. One such article discussed how women who are a size 14 and above are lost causes in the attractiveness scale, while another stated ordinary women are just not attractive sexually; another pondered the deep and meaningful question of why men settle for a second best woman, so on and so on. Others encouraged men to view potential partners on a 1-10 attractiveness scale; 7 being the cut off point for the dating factor! The site said, ‘if a 6 stops eating for a week she becomes a ‘7’, then she is maybe datable’. Therefore, no woman should be dated who ranks below a 7!

The story of ‘Shallow Hal’ seems to iterate this notion of beauty being the ‘b’ all and end all of the things we should seek in others. Shallow Hal is a man who refuses to see beauty in anyone else if they don’t fit into a stereotypical ideal of perfection, regardless of that person’s abilities and personality; until some kind of spell is cast, and then he meets his true love, a 300 pound woman. Surely everyone has seen this movie? Surely everyone knows someone who might be classed as a Shallow Hal? Do we all need that magical spell to prevent us from becoming him?
The message I found was that only outward appearances are considered or even quantified. Everything was focused on subjective opinions of beauty by those writing the articles, posts, blogs and whatever else! Who are these people doing the judging? I wonder what bad deal life has dealt them that they feel they have this axe to grind against people just being themselves, whatever the physical form! Maybe these people have never experienced a grown up and loving relationship, but with an attitude where they measure everyone against a scale of 1-10, I doubt anyone would come up to their expectations.

Who are any of us to really judge beauty/attractiveness when each person sees something different in the next? We are all different shapes, sizes and colours, we all have different facial features and quirks to bring something different into the gene pool, to be a match for someone out there. So then why are we obsessed with being attractive/ beautiful based on the point of view of someone else, or, based on the view of the fashion or beauty industry? We don’t know them and they don’t know us. If we aren’t happy within our own skin then how can anyone else be happy with us?!

What then is any relationship truly about; love or lust? Certainly everyone lusts, but how can anything of consequence sustain on lust? If we can’t value the person for the person, or if we all have to come with ribbons and bows like all children love, then surely the infatuation and fascination will eventually soon wear off; what is the point? In the end, without all the façade there is only us; why then are we so afraid of that truth coming to light?

If it is a case of us all desperately trying to ‘save face’ then what are we trying to prove to ourselves and one another? If a grown man or woman cannot accept a person for being themselves then maybe it is their own being they cannot truly accept, their own issues they have to deal with first; and to be honest they are better left alone until they do decide to sort themselves out. I personally don’t want a relationship with someone who sees beauty as a child would (obsessing on the pretty bows and ribbons), I want someone who sees me for me; even on my bad hair days! Face facts this is the real world not a TV sitcom, no one is perfect regardless of how they may appear to be, sorry to break the illusion, but surely you are old enough to know the truth by now!

Is this the real face of beauty?

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Hair Free Expectations.

By chance I read a blog by College Candy, entitled ‘Why This CC Writer Doesn’t Have Pubic Hair. The page discussed a topic which I didn’t realise could hold such fascination; to perform hair removal on the intimate feminine area or not.

Is it a question worth asking at all? I think the reasons behind asking such a question, and the reasons why performing hair removal is seen as the norm are definitely worth considering.

Does being hairy in that area make you less feminine, desirable or hygienic? Is hair free less ridiculed or shunned than being hairy? Isn’t hair removal just about personal choice, or is it a ‘must’ dictated by some societal norm?

Choice should be a personal matter; to be hairy or hair free is a woman’s own decision to make. However, what used to be beauty choices are now interwoven into the everyday good woman’s guide of how to maintain her-self. When there is a pressure to do something to conform to an accepted norm, then where is the freedom of choice?

This pressure to conform then takes the initial questions of hairy or hair free to a much deeper level than merely the topic itself. These questions can be applied to all aspects of self and society; especially people’s reactions to such pressure, and the perceptions of themselves. So how much of the beauty regime that women do, is because they choose to do it and want to do it? How much is done because women have a fear of being ridiculed?

Who decided these measures of beauty as a norm, who decreed these expectations? Who woke up one morning and thought, ‘You know what without the beauty industry I am nothing; Oh, and by the way I really must remove my body hair to be accepted’?  Maybe this is just about women’s expectations, their ideals gone out of control to an extent that it is driving all of this ‘beauty myth’ to new heights, or maybe men and sexual attraction are the culprits to blame?

To have sex, I suppose women have to be seen as attractive by the men of the world, but are men’s expectations of beauty always what women think they will be? Could it be women labour under false pretences, maybe to please a society of men who really couldn’t give a damn about all that beauty malarkey? No man would say, ‘Nope, I’m not having sex with you until you remove that pubic hair’, surely not? If that was the case then does a woman reply, ‘OK, I’m not having sex with you until you remove yours’?

If men do indeed frown upon a woman who doesn’t fulfil her ‘beauty duties’ then God help him if, and when he does secure a stable relationship. Life dictates that most women refrain from being slaves to the bathroom on a 24/7 basis; a girl has gotta work for a living too! What would a man do when he realises this, up and runaway to a woman who maybe does live by the rule of beauty alone? If the answer is yes, then is that man worth wasting yourself on?

Women aren’t merely dolls to be played with. A measure of a woman is surely more than her individual parts? Is she just hair, teeth, skin, nails, and features and so on? How sad it must be to believe you are only as good as what your make-up or hair looks like. In reality, if women did what the ‘beauty experts’ suggest they do to their bodies daily, then such exhausting routines would consume their lives and minds! Hell, no woman would be able to step outside without crippling anxiety that she isn’t worthy, just because she hasn’t done X or Y before walking down the street.

Yet, can this beauty obsession ever come to an end? Are we that reliant on it? What will the pilgrimage towards beauty insist upon next though? How far can the boundaries be pushed until women say; no more of this, this is me and deal with it. More importantly who are women changing themselves for; is it for individual benefit or for others? How can we be certain? If the reasons to change are so inextricably linked to society pressure and norms, then surely no-one can be 100% certain what motivates their choices and why.

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.