Discount EVERY lyric of the Christina Aguilera song. Miss Aguilera sang it, and now perhaps regrets doing so.
One celebrity woman’s quest to be what ever she wants to be, yet again falls flat.
FAT = UGLY because society tells us that all the time, and we as individuals cannot tame the power society wields over us all. It is a definite one sided society that we live in though.
If you read the recent article I wrote ‘Consider Her Ways’ My Article, you know I don’t necessarily like seeing any flesh (et al) on show, whether thin or fat. Yet, I don’t like it full stop. I don’t make up silly little rules regarding what is OK, and who should or shouldn’t show off their flesh, or who is and isn’t beautiful. In fact I am more sick of people dictating that thinner people ought to have the monopoly on nakedness, scantily clad dressing and beauty.
WHY? Why is that OK? Why are only thin people seen as the cream of the crop in society? Why are only thin people ‘allowed’ to get it all out on show for everyone to ogle at?
It seems this is the question Miss Aguilera didn’t ask, and just accepted the dictated ‘norm’ as the Gospel of God (or, whatever else holds absolute truth)!!
What is the difference in being larger or thinner? She showed her bottom when she was thin, and who knows how she remained thin; was it via a healthy route or not? Does anyone care so long as she didn’t offend and gain weight! Heaven forbid!
Miss Aguilera wore more clothes when she gained weight, and yet, still she was deemed grotesque. So, whether she flaunted her more rounder bottom or not, it was still unacceptable, and yet, isn’t it HER business whether she chooses to be fat or thin? Isn’t it her choice what she does in her own life? Just like it is apparently individual choice to, expose the flesh to all and sundry or remain covered up.
I personally think exposing ones self unnecessarily to anyone who will look, is bad taste! I don’t care whether that body is thin or fat. There is NO need for ANYONE to wander around with their wobbly bits on show. NO NEED!
Yet, apparently people over a size 12 really shouldn’t, they should NOT accept their bodies at all. Perhaps these ‘fat people’ should do society a favour, and just go and die. Great attitude to instil in the future generations that individuality sucks! We as human beings are merely aspiring to be like, and look like everyone else about us! Wow, what a feat of achievement, we should ALL be proud of ourselves as we all look the same.
Just to let you all know, I am OVER a size 12 – OH GOD shoot me now!!!!!!!!! Should I hide away and die too?? Am I ugly, a blot upon societal perfection?? Should I be ashamed to show my skin too?? Am I less attractive than a size 8??
Who is anyone to tell me YES?
I have fought all my life to feel I am HUMAN because I am NOT a twiglet, because I have curves, because I have always been a little different. I have recently succeeded in feeling good about me, well, over last few years anyway; and let me tell you – it was bloody hard work. As a woman, and being determined NOT to follow the herd, well that is never easy. Anyway, I exercise and eat well, so what am I doing wrong other than refusing to become what is for me, unattainably thin? Well, the media and anyone else who feels I am in need of reprimand aren’t shy to inform me that I should be ashamed of myself. I need to be thinner and trimmer. I need to be X, Y or Z or don’t bother even thinking I can wear a short skirt or indeed be beautiful.
Yet, I am beautiful.
All I want, which perhaps others do too; is to live in a world where the only label a woman HAS to wear are those sewn into her clothes, regardless of the size of those clothes.
Maybe this might seem odd but, beauty to me is more than flesh, size, shape or even dictated fashions of what is hot or not. Beauty can’t be bottled, shipped and sold, it can’t be manipulated, created, identified beyond a doubt or universally applied. Yet, we all try to do this for some reason.
See here for another article I wrote about ‘normal’: Who Is Being Allowed To Redefine Normal?
So, below is the article that instigated this angry post!! Take a look at this blatant self depreciating, and contradictory ‘enlightening’ piece which salutes thin, and encourages a certain view point as far as beauty is concerned.
Oh, and health apart, this is an image and confidence and acceptance thing. I’m not talking about illnesses, obesity and God knows what else. For the record, anyone can die of anything at any-time. So, I don’t wish to debate fat as a health issue. Thank you!
There was one particularly revealing episode on Oprah where a couple of skinny girls were meticulously disguised to look much larger and went to the gym to workout. It was enlightening to see the reactions they received. Great post. 🙂
Beauty lies in the eye of the beholder, and the beholder who judges through inner beauty has extraordinary vision.
Thanks Chris for your response to this, and I am glad you enjoyed reading my post. That is interesting; such an experiment would allow people who don’t know what others lives are like to experience them first hand. This often ends stereotyping and pre-judging. Yes, all that glitters isn’t gold, and there is more to life than façade. Thanks again Chris!
By the way you are beautiful beyond words. I would never place you in a category, just say you are pretty.
I’ve never struggled with weight or size but the whole body image who I should be thing has still at times affected me. I’m conservative when it comes to showing myself and at times have received some ridicule for it.
Thank you for such an amazing conquering of such a tough subject. For this girl, you’ve made a difference.
Thanks again Brooke’s Sister – extremely kind of you. It is good to know my article touched a chord in you. It is a difficult thing to try and admit, that although you know you shouldn’t, you struggle with who you are or how you see yourself, your place in this world.
I have struggled to accept me whether that me is; fatter, thinner, healthier, happier, educated, loved – it doesn’t matter what I achieve or what accolades I have – I struggle, as I am never enough.
This feeling is something I have faced all my life, and fighting against it has made me sick and tired of it. We are what we are, and should be proud of that fact. Yet, so many people aren’t and never will be. It is sad, and this vulnerability is exploited and prayed upon by society. Especially by the media/advertising/marketing companies.
I just wish we would all stand up and say – enough is enough!!!
Is it true that everyone should go around believing they are beautiful or good looking? I don’t believe people are all good or all bad, only that they do some good things and also some bad things. Presumably there are some beautiful things about you (and hopefully the rest of us too) and some not so beautiful. However, you are spot on to dismiss the media projection of some idealized unattainable image. As you argue so passionately, the only opinion that really matters about ourselves is our own.
Yes, I believe we have to believe in ourselves – corny but true. We have more than merely our façade to offer the world too. I do think media/marketing/advertising have eaten away at people’s self belief, to make profit on products. This makes society in general less settled in their own skin, and more vulnerable. Also, it makes people more disrespectful to other people’s skin too!
So true!!!!!! Tell it! I’m so sick of newspapers and such putting down women for this reason–especially point out when celebrities gain weight. 😦
Yes, it isn’t news just boring gossip that has passed it’s sell by date!!!
Well done, Bex, well done! I hate the horrid pressure that our culture puts on women. Your post presents an excellent expose on the subject and I hope it encourages every woman who reads it. Thank you for being so vulnerable and so full of grace in describing this subject.
Thank you Eleanor that is very kind of you, I appreciate it completely!!!
I’m a big fan of my wobblier bits. Ain’t no shame in my game! 🙂 Thanks for sharing!
Haha!!! I am glad you are a fan of them – I think you should be 🙂
Great post! It’s ridiculous really and for every ad campaign or magazine that depicts “real” women, there are 1,000 more plugging their “ideal” beauty, aka: skeletal and unrealistic. It seems to get worse when, in today’s day, it should be getting better. *sigh*. Bravo to you for calling it out.
Thank you, that is very kind of you!! Yes, exactly so – ridiculous and very sad, and it is too readily accepted.
Love it. So true.
As a size 24, I am constantly reminded by health officials that I am “morbidly obese.” Morbid? Am I that revolting, that sickening that they would choose such a damning adjective to describe my “condition?” That label has stuck with me, making me feel more a monster than human at times and wondering whether ANYONE could see my beauty, my heart, my talents…. often I think that men do, but are afraid to be with me because it would sully their “image” to be with a big gal.
I guess that’s why losing weight has always played 2nd fiddle, like a rebellion against society’s “norms” and expectations for everyone to look the same and BE the same. Christina had a BABY for Christ’s sake and WORE those curves VERY well! Yet sadly I feel she, like most other women in her profession, were pressured to drop those “extra” pounds in order to satisfy everyone’s impressions of her. No one gets concerned when an artist gets too skinny because of drug or alcohol use, it’s always that someone got “fat,” chose to say FUCK IT to the constant dieting and work outs in order to ENJOY life and fame instead of being manipulated by their appearance.
Thank you for this post…. thank you for understanding 😉
No, thank you Lilith for being so candid, I appreciate your input on this topic. Too many people shy away from such topics, and won’t really address how it makes them feel. Think the ‘fat’ issue is a poison chalice as everyone wants to see it as being linked to illness and death. Yet, so to are most things, and they are not so ridiculed.
I think more women would admit to feeling pressures from society, if given the chance, and more would ‘rebel’ like Christina A did too!!! I am over a size 12, and am also classed as plus size – UK size 14 is a plus size. I get completely what you are saying, and feel it too. Just today I have been having this conversation about how always watching the calories, and exercising is often done for other people, and not really for me. I question why can’t I be happy with who I am fundamentally? I struggle to be happy everyday of my life, because I have always been told I was too fat!!!
I used to be bigger than I am now, so, I empathise on what being bigger means in society. I decided to change, drop weight, because in all honesty I was ready to, for me, and only me. I know people say this, but for me, this was SO true.
Being bigger does invite, and ought not to, prejudice, stigma, intolerance, hatred and ignorance. People who are at the brunt end of not being defined as ‘norm’ by the world have a tough fight. Choosing to be who you are over what they want you to be, is an even a tougher fight.
Happiness for me is being honest about how I feel, and about what I want. I think all of us often compromise on that just to feel secure and safe – to fit in. It is sad, and honestly, soul destroying.
I apologise for the ramble, but I truly feel that this topic needs to be addressed, and expressed more. People should feel good about them, and not made to feel lesser beings. It is a truly messed up world we live in when murderers, and paedophiles are given more understanding than people who carry a bit of extra weight.
It really makes me sad.
EXACTLY!! People who drink and drive or do drugs are treated with kid gloves, like they are “sick” and “didn’t have a choice,” while people who are fat are treated like they’re nothing but lazy pigs that eat too much. Folks don’t consider the genetic predispositions to being fat (like most of the women in my family are) regardless of HOW healthy they try to eat or how much exercise they get (I work in retail and spend 8 hrs a day on my feet, constantly moving, 4 days a week, lifting and stooping, better than any gym IMO). Yet I also write, so when I’m home I’m working on my stories and such, not just “laying around.”
Even now, considering my renewed confidence in the WHOLE of me, not just the body I reside in, I cringe upon meeting people I’ve gotten to know online, thinking they’d forget the me they got to know and focus instead on my physical “flaws.”
Yes, people can be active, and have a life regardless of what weight they are. I think sometimes people do tend to perceive people in certain ways, stereotype people; which is ALWAYS wrong.
I don’t, nor wouldn’t, view weight as a flaw. I think anyone who would, has real issues that only some professionals can deal with, LOL! Though idiots who would ridicule weight and see it as a flaw are out there, masquerading as humans!
For me, no physical difference should ever be classed as a flaw. We are ALL individual and that ALWAYS should be celebrated!!
Reblogged this on 5 Degrees Of Inspiration and commented:
This is how I feel all the time, why I sometimes wonder if I will remain alone because of the monster some see me as….
Thank YOU for this amazing post 🙂
Thank you for appreciating it 🙂 That means a lot!!!