Consider Her Ways


Now I LOVE fashion (or style), always have and no doubt, always will. BUT (and this must be a significant ‘but’ for me to begin a sentence with it); I despise the notion that summer fashion equals everything on show for all to see.

Now before people pull me up on being anything but my usual ‘each to their own’, I have NO issue with individuality, freedom to express yourself and your own fashion tastes. All I ask is why can’t people CONSIDER their ways a little more for the sake of others, who, might struggle to retain their lunch upon viewing such things?

I am sick of sun = flesh equation, because this equation has detracted clothes from ladies considerably over recent years. Especially here, in Madrid.

Now I know how warm it becomes here, I am suffering and the temps aren’t even at their highest yet. I am from the UK, we are lucky to see 24 degrees for a summertime! So, perhaps I am allowing myself to feel shocked at what effects the sun can have upon people’s minds, and how it often causes a lack of clothes to occur.

Anyway, I just call for some public ‘decency’. I really don’t care if anyone feels I am being prudish or whatever else, because I don’t see how walking half naked equates to ‘liberation’ or ‘fashion’.

I ask the men out there; would you like to see the bum cheeks, and goodness knows what else, of fellow men as you go about your daily routines? Half naked men everywhere, all the time? It wouldn’t bother me, but then I am a woman!

Women will pass by with their bum cheeks (et al) on show as you eat. Standing on a packed metro train they pass you by with their bottoms rubbing upon you. After they have sweated upon seats you too will have to then sit upon. HYGIENE PLEASE!!

I mean women wear as little as possible, underwear little. I just wonder what is left to take off and expose?

OR, who ARE THEY exposing themselves too??

If their skirts blow up, and they are wearing teeny tiny thongs they often feel embarrassed, or they yank down their short skirts to keep them from exposing whatever. If a man stares at them they return his stare with a glare as though he is the pervert for looking at their nakedness! So, I am confused!

Do women feel they are dressing with everything on show for men, themselves or could it possibly be for the benefit of other women?

Could it be that any human forced into a ‘pack’ reverts back to archaic psychology – ‘top dog’ attitude, the top of the pecking order? Having to prove to their pack that they are THE ALPHA, THE BEST mating partner?

If it is dressing for themselves then, well, what can I do; but it doesn’t stop me becoming nauseous! Having to walk about and bear witness to the bare really makes me feel a little dirty!

Yes, dirty! I can’t explain it, and this is no doubt my psychological issue as much as theirs, but I see this ‘cave woman’ dress as just something I don’t need nor want to do. Also, I don’t want to see other women’s bits and bobs on display, I really don’t ‘feel’ it!

All I know is that I have always been my own person, and if someone can’t appreciate me fully clothed then I am not interested in them. I don’t need to strip to be accepted, included or validated.

Maybe I am beginning a new revolution; keep your clothes on!

If someone says that wearing little clothes is progress I’ll scream – the Victorians had the Whale bone corset, and we have the dinky, teeny, tiny butt cleavage shorts! Think about it – what has changed?

Oh, and for the record I don’t want to be ‘tan-tastic’ either – I love my paler skin tone – thanks!

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30 thoughts on “Consider Her Ways

  1. Pingback: “I Am Beautiful No Matter What They Say”…….. | The Savvy Senorita

  2. I don’t mind seeing some skin. Having said that, it should be skin worth looking at. I see far too many people (not only women) who show skin that I simply find appalling. Not (necessarily) because they are old. My Grandmother had wonderful skin until the day she died at age 82, at least the skin she dared show. And it wasn’t her cleavage that she showed. A cleavage can be nice to look at, but it is imho the first place where a woman’s beauty turns into… well… what you would rather not imagine. Especially when an older woman tries to relive a youth she simply doesn’t have anymore. Also, anorexic people don’t have my admiration, but my pity. Really fat people don’t even get that. One has to little, the other too much skin to show, and neither looks happy when they do. Yes, that sounds good: Happy people may show their skin; people who actually like being in their own skin. People who don’t need to alter their bodies to feel better about themselves. Because beauty is born within. When happy people show skin, it is like they are trying to radiate happiness.

    • Ummmm, this response is something I don’t feel I can agree with. I don’t want to see anyone’s flesh on show for the sake of it; I mean virtual nakedness!! If someone is fatter, thinner, older, man or woman I don’t think everything ought to be on show wiggling about!

      If beauty is within then why should shape, weight, age or gender prevent a person from showing their bodies? As I have stated, I don’t think it needs to all be on show anyway!! It is just bad taste!!

      • maybe we’re talking about different degrees of showing skin. I agree that it needn’t be mini-skirts and bikini-bra in public, but right about now, I wish I didn’t have to wear long pants at work; not even the big cheese in their climatized offices are wearing a proper suit, why should we be held to that standard in our booth without AC, which is directly exposed to the sun all day long at 100°F. Arms, shoulders, neck and shin – sometimes knee, too – are perfectly reasonable skin free zones, imho; well, the face should be visible at all times, anyway 😉

        • I’m thinking of it all out on show, nothing much left to the imagination type thing. Not so good.
          Yes, of course when it is hot and you are ‘confined’ you need to be able to feel comfortable. I agree with that. Yes, I like to see a face too, especially the eyes!!

  3. You ask whether the skin is: “on show for men, themselves or could it possibly be for the benefit of other women?”

    Showing lots of skin isn’t my style, at all. But I see if often enough to make wonder the same thing as you have.

    Maybe ppl do it to get attention from all three sources you mentioned. I’ve observed that some people are so in need of external validation that they’ll take it wherever they can get it. And dressing skimpy is a sure way to get attention– which they perceive as validation.

  4. Sorry to sound like a broken record but this is another issue that also comes down to good taste and manners, liking talking loudly in the cinema. In San Francisco, until a few weeks ago when they passed a law making it illegal, I occasionally used to see a man walking around the streets stark naked. I just considered this extremely bad taste but needless to say I am against legislating on questions of taste and manners.

    • No, I completely agree! I am stunned by the naked man anecdote, WOW! It is illegal in the UK – indecent exposure!

  5. For ages women have been associated with ‘animality,’ the ‘body,’ and ‘dirt’ if you will. Sex is considered dirty if not sanctioned by some high and mighty religious institution. If you have some time it’s worth reading Ernest Becker’s Escape from Evil or Marvin Harris’ Our Kind. Both of these books address the depiction of women as evil in mythology. In virtually all mythologies the ‘body’ is considered evil because it’s so closely associated with death. We see bodies die all the time so we invent things like the soul to convince ourselves that we don’t really die, ‘we’ carry on forever. Women, because of menstruation and childbirth, both involving the release of blood, are related closely to life and to death too because one always involves the other. Men can deny death and life (which is finite in our world) by denying animality and taking charge of spirituality, where they try to convince themselves that they are immune from death. Of course women buy into this bullshit because it’s the only bullshit around for most people and they are caught in a double bind. Some women rebel against this obviously gross historical misrepresentation of women but when they do they risk getting ostracized or shunned for being ‘slutty,’ ‘dirty,’ ‘whoreish’ or whatever. Public nudity is a form of (mostly) unconscious rebellion against the glorification of ‘spirituality’ and the vilification of ‘animality.’ Obviously this little comment isn’t the last word on the subject, there’s a lot more to be said. We are a species full of contradictions and silliness mostly because we have made a great habit historically of trying to deny death.

    • Yes, the image of women because of their ‘condemned roles’ in society, and their physicality/anatomical nature is something I am familiar with. Religion being the fore-runner in portraying all of woman-kind, whether dressed scantily or not, as dirt and so on – is also something which I have read about. I will also look at your book recommendations too, by the way! Sounds interesting.

      To link this to fear of death, interesting too, and not something I have considered before. I myself do not fear death, but I still don’t dress scantily or consider myself to be dirt or whatever else. I don’t think other women are dirt either, I question their ‘pack’ mentality more than their morals!

      Selfishly though, I don’t want to be forced to see nakedness, that is simply it. It doesn’t make me feel happy in seeing strangers virtually naked walking about. If others feel this nakedness is rebellion, subconscious rebellion I think, then fine. I am however fed up with their rebellion, and hoped that by now, they’d be over that and rebelling in others ways. Nakedness won’t alter anyone’s perception of anyone, in my opinion anyway!

      What do you think about there being a ‘pack’ mentality? An Alpha competition going on? I was wondering, as I have been discussing this a lot lately with people, especially women, and they tend to feel that women are competing against each other quite fiercely, and aggressively. Like perhaps they would have many centuries ago for mating rights???

      • I must agree that, having been parked near a Walmart in the heat of an August afternoon and watching some of the people scantily clad with rolls of this and that hanging out all over the place walking in and out of the store, your reticence around public nudity has much merit, at least in that instance! But, to change the topic, there is a lot of sexual jockeying that goes on in the world, lots of strange courtship rituals and what I call pre-ritual or sexual advertising. Funny, but it seems that no matter how repulsive someone might be to me, there’s always someone willing to take up the offer. People advertise their sexual availability in many ways, with Mercedes or spandex. Because I’m an artist as well as a sociologist, I find the human body fascinating in its diversity and I find it forever curious, and hilarious at times, the way we present ourselves to others in an attempt to ‘sell’ ourselves in the sexual marketplace. Some of us have no sense of propriety, and that can’t be legislated either. Doesn’t mean you have to enjoy people flaunting their skin but I’m not sure what the alternatives are for you except to not ever go out or be forever upset with the weirdos around you who couldn’t care less about what you think about them.

        • Clothes or lack of them are a definite short cut to finding, and securing a bed partner. The human race will survive, yeh!!!

          Yes, it is advertisement I can definitely agree with that – and even bad advertisement can be a good thing – lots of people talking about it!!

          I just feel any flesh, whether thin or not is not required. I don’t want to be a throw back to primal days, I just want to be human with a functioning brain, and not be seen as flesh. I don’t get why people are happy to be merely flesh.

          Yes, I have considered that, but realised I have every right to walk around and dare not to bare!!! The naked brigade perhaps should stay home a little more; they’d then have ample time to rethink their wardrobe malfunctions!!!

  6. I blame the advent of a “movie” definition of the term beautiful. As with men just as women, the au natural look is slowly disappearing and making way for society’s definition of beauty… It’s sickening.. People aren’t happy with who they are.. It’s the constant need to be accepted.

  7. The sad fact is that so many young women these days seem to have little to no respect for themselves which becomes glaringly obvious when they dress this way. Now I know there are plenty of men out there who drool over these women but seriously. I am a guy and most guys see a woman dressed like that and while we may get aroused we certainly arent thinking “theres a girl I would like my folks to meet!” We are thinking exactly what that outfit wants us to think and its not wondering if she is witty or intelligent, funny or has a kind heart, no with an outfit like that we probably dont even care what your name is!

    • Great to get a man respond to this. Exactly so! This is TRUE, and yet no-one will dare to admit or address this. I there is freedom, individuality and so on to be whoever and whatever you want, but why does that always equate to, in today’s culture, nakedness!

      • The short answer is that its because freedom is an illusion and individuality is nothing more than people being marketed their culture. Most people dress and behave the way they do because they saw it in a movie, an ad, music video etc. but they think its them being an individual. Its hard to say you’re an individual when you’re wearing, listening to or doing the same thing that a bunch of other people are.

  8. I agree with you. I don’t want to sit on a bench or a train seat that someone just vacated, especially if said someone wore very minimal underwear. Not exactly hygienic.

  9. You know I totally agree with everything you’re saying! I don’t mind showing some skin, but I think there’s a limit to how much one SHOULD show.

      • 🙂 Well I DEFINITELY feel the same. I hate the idea that some feel they have to dress a certain way to catch certain attentions…I prefer to think that I dress a particular way because it’s something I’m a) comfortable with and b) that makes me look good

        • Yes, I feel the same. I suppose the ‘fans’ of tiny, tiny shorts might feel the same too though, yet, I question their motives. Why do they feel the need to be ‘naked’ to be comfortable in their skin? I know I wouldn’t!!! 🙂

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