Where’s Autumn?!


Dear Autumn,

RE: Where Are You This Year?

I write to you with a grave concern I felt compelled to express. I am consumed with sorrow, because of your absence.

May I enquire, why have you decided not to visit Madrid this year? What have we, the people of the city, done to offend you?!

It is the MOST horrible thing about living in Madrid, the fact I rarely have the opportunity to enjoy your company.

There has been this year, as last, a distinct lack in seasonal change, which is once again intolerable. In fact the only season that seems to last the duration here is summertime. Summertime never knows when it is polite moment to leave!

Snow, well, that too would be some kind of miracle. I think I saw some last year, but it was similar to someone with bad dandruff shaking their head nearby. Madrid’s version of snow sucks, just like their version of ‘Autumn’.

You Autumn are merely Autumn in name alone, and you should be ashamed of that fact!

The sun is unashamed, it remains fixed in the blue sky, mocking anyone who wants to feel a cold northernly wind scratch at their face! The temperature still hovers around 25 degrees, even though everyone walks around in coats, with runny noses, colds, and coughs. They, like me are willing you to put in an appearance and offer reprieve. Yet, regardless of this, you Autumn, are NOWHERE to be seen!

This for me is sorely disappointing. I mean, how can I truly enjoy Halloween, the highlight of your season, without a chill in the air, without a sense of the eerie or melodramatic?

It is unnatural, celebrating Halloween in a tee-shirt, and probably shorts. It sucks!  This suckiness is something YOU Autumn, are responsible for!

I want the cold, the rain, the icy mornings, the crisp evenings, the purple and red leaves, the thick wooly hats and scarfs, the coats, the extra socks and cold nose, seeing my breath in the air and feeling winter is on its way!

What is extra odd though, whilst mentioning the changes in leaf colour, or absence of such; that even if you Autumn are confused about the date, the tress aren’t. OK there are no dramatic leaf colour changes, because of your late arrival Autumn, but nevertheless the leaves vacate their branches. I feel deprived when leaves merely fade from green to brown, as here in Madrid, they just curl up and die! Every leaf on every tree falls by the wayside, they slowly just decide to give up the ghost! They realise it is October and they should be shed already, they hurry in their departure.

You see the trees know the seasons, even if the weather does not! Yet, you Autumn haven’t been involved at all, shame on you for shirking your responsibilities!

What I want, what I miss is the cold, is the sign Summer is over. So, please, please, please Autumn let it be cold soon!! I have had enough of the heat, the dry scorching air, the dusty roads, the parched vegetation, the hardly there attire!

You know what, to add insult to Autumns injury, today I saw a butterfly flutter past me whilst I was walking to the university! Yes, there it was as bold as brass, basking in the afternoon sun. It was just like summertime, summertime in the very nearly middle of October! Despicable! Absolutely despicable! What do you think Autumn? Are you now fully shamed into making your appearance?

Anyway, if you are by chance reading this, belated Autumn, get your bottom in gear and hurry up and arrive! Better late than never!

Yours sincerely,
A frustrated city dweller.

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Consider Her Ways


Now I LOVE fashion (or style), always have and no doubt, always will. BUT (and this must be a significant ‘but’ for me to begin a sentence with it); I despise the notion that summer fashion equals everything on show for all to see.

Now before people pull me up on being anything but my usual ‘each to their own’, I have NO issue with individuality, freedom to express yourself and your own fashion tastes. All I ask is why can’t people CONSIDER their ways a little more for the sake of others, who, might struggle to retain their lunch upon viewing such things?

I am sick of sun = flesh equation, because this equation has detracted clothes from ladies considerably over recent years. Especially here, in Madrid.

Now I know how warm it becomes here, I am suffering and the temps aren’t even at their highest yet. I am from the UK, we are lucky to see 24 degrees for a summertime! So, perhaps I am allowing myself to feel shocked at what effects the sun can have upon people’s minds, and how it often causes a lack of clothes to occur.

Anyway, I just call for some public ‘decency’. I really don’t care if anyone feels I am being prudish or whatever else, because I don’t see how walking half naked equates to ‘liberation’ or ‘fashion’.

I ask the men out there; would you like to see the bum cheeks, and goodness knows what else, of fellow men as you go about your daily routines? Half naked men everywhere, all the time? It wouldn’t bother me, but then I am a woman!

Women will pass by with their bum cheeks (et al) on show as you eat. Standing on a packed metro train they pass you by with their bottoms rubbing upon you. After they have sweated upon seats you too will have to then sit upon. HYGIENE PLEASE!!

I mean women wear as little as possible, underwear little. I just wonder what is left to take off and expose?

OR, who ARE THEY exposing themselves too??

If their skirts blow up, and they are wearing teeny tiny thongs they often feel embarrassed, or they yank down their short skirts to keep them from exposing whatever. If a man stares at them they return his stare with a glare as though he is the pervert for looking at their nakedness! So, I am confused!

Do women feel they are dressing with everything on show for men, themselves or could it possibly be for the benefit of other women?

Could it be that any human forced into a ‘pack’ reverts back to archaic psychology – ‘top dog’ attitude, the top of the pecking order? Having to prove to their pack that they are THE ALPHA, THE BEST mating partner?

If it is dressing for themselves then, well, what can I do; but it doesn’t stop me becoming nauseous! Having to walk about and bear witness to the bare really makes me feel a little dirty!

Yes, dirty! I can’t explain it, and this is no doubt my psychological issue as much as theirs, but I see this ‘cave woman’ dress as just something I don’t need nor want to do. Also, I don’t want to see other women’s bits and bobs on display, I really don’t ‘feel’ it!

All I know is that I have always been my own person, and if someone can’t appreciate me fully clothed then I am not interested in them. I don’t need to strip to be accepted, included or validated.

Maybe I am beginning a new revolution; keep your clothes on!

If someone says that wearing little clothes is progress I’ll scream – the Victorians had the Whale bone corset, and we have the dinky, teeny, tiny butt cleavage shorts! Think about it – what has changed?

Oh, and for the record I don’t want to be ‘tan-tastic’ either – I love my paler skin tone – thanks!