For the love of sanity; can everyone PLEASE let up on the mantra “the world is wonderful”, because I am left wondering who it is you are all trying to convince by saying this. Let me enlighten you; the world might be wonderful for some people, but for a vast majority who live in the REAL WORLD it isn’t all roses and miracles – nor will it be.
I have come to think that the people who perpetually peddle this “positive attitude”, and push all of the self help nonsense are the same people who’ve had very little negative things happen to them during their short lives.
Of course there are many people out there who would love to be sailing away on their mega yacht to the Caribbean (although not me as I am not fond of yachts, sailing or the Caribbean), I have to tell them that this WON’T happen. WHY? Well this cannot be everyone’s life course, because we live in a state of reality and not FANTASY.
99 times out of a 100 people’s lives consist of sucking up the ordinary and mundane whether that be; homelessness, inability to pay their way, horrible jobs, bad wages, no family or friends, death of loved ones, divorce, terrible family lives or whatever else! This is because some people need REAL and constructive help and support, not merely positive thinking alone to change their circumstances.
I know in this world of FANTASY such words are cold and harsh, but they are at least reality; which by the way it seems NO ONE wants to face up to. Of course there is also that other annoying word to deal with too; responsibility. Most people don’t want to just get up and walk away from everything in their life either, or perhaps they just can’t.
An example of those who can and do walk away; a Life Coach once told me he had become a Life Coach merely because he decided one day to this and drop everything else in his life; which also included his Wife and kids. He believed running off to “find himself” was far more admirable than dealing with his reality; his family. What a great positive life message for anyone to emulate; if you happen to be a cold, callous psychopath that is. This Life Coach then wondered why his kids no longer wanted anything to do with him. Erm, I wonder why too.
What truly peeves me though is the PRESSURE applied to people by this positive thinking and self help belief systems. It is the case that people are being told to be things that others deem necessary, and that if they don’t concede then their life cannot be classified as successful or happy. That in itself is a course to unhappiness. The best advice I’ve ever received is JUST BE YOU and BE HAPPY about that.
I wish people could just admit, without guilt, the fact that perhaps they don’t want to do anything with their lives! Why can’t people accept the fact they prefer watching another episode of their favourite TV show, lazing about and eating take away food while drinking too much wine! When people can do this, THEY CAN BE HAPPY or best of all CONTENT.
In this fantasy world we certainly DON’T like to endorse contentment; we weren’t all born to have bigger breasts, younger faces, bigger pecs, porn star sex lives, plenty of money, good jobs and so on and so on and so on, blah, blah, blah.
“We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very p****d off” (Tyler Durden – Fight Club).
In my opinion the positive thinking and self help industry has modelled itself on the cosmetics industry; honing in on everyone’s low self esteem and lack of confidence. They all ONLY WANT YOUR MONEY and in return will ONLY SELL YOU FALSE PROMISES; “if you buy into this new scam everything in your life will become wonderful over night”. Erm, no it won’t!!!! You will still be you and your life will still be what it is.
The key to the positive thinking and self help success is that no one EVER really tells you HOW to achieve anything truly concrete. Yes, it is a secret because YES there are NO REAL answers.
Do you still want that profound over night life changing experience? YES PLEASE! Well, in that case here is my advice for you;
- Be ruthless, selfish and determined to the point that no one else and nothing else matters.
- Learn to say “sod it” and just do it anyway.
- Leading on from this is the necessity to take risks without fearing the consequence of your actions.
- Plus, it will certainly help if you have the funds to do everything you ever wanted to do, as either way you will have to keep paying your bills (reality sucks I know – but so too does having a Court Judgement and criminal record for debt related charges).
So, are we all feeling positive yet – or are we beginning to feel reality?
If you need more inspiration then please read the below articles for further insights on how to feel, the reality in life……….
# 2and 3 are very much usefull, great post thanks for sharing
Hi, Bex, Fully agreed with you and nicely written. Thanks for sharing. I have some other view on opposite to positive thinking on http://tuneupsuccess.com/know-7-negative-emotions-thats-actually-positive-side-life/, may check
Great post well said
Thanks Jay, appreciate you stopping by.
As a species, we’re tremendously good as self-deception. Freud had a bit to say about this.
“Life, as we find it,” he said, “is too hard for us; it brings us too many pains, disappointments and impossible tasks.” To bear it, he stated we invent, employ, and deploy three principle solutions, or what he called “palliative measures:” ‘powerful deflections,’ which cause us to make light of our misery; ‘substitutive satisfactions,’ which diminish it; and ‘intoxicating substances,’ which make us insensitive to it. This explains why religion is such a powerful thing. It draws upon all three. It promotes suffering by selling the notion of reward – an afterlife – for endurance in the face of hardship where suffering is celebrated and tallied by the devout like the accumulation of chips at a casino. Religion employs substitutive deflections by promoting the displacement of responsibility as claimed by the likes of Dena Schlosser, Deanna Lajune LeNay, and Andrea Yates who all killed their children because “God wanted them to do it.” And lastly, religion as an intoxicant is perhaps the most powerful palliative measure as it quite literally emboldens the devout to wilfully ignore reality.
*at, not as 😦
Thanks for your input John; I appreciate your take on this from your well rounded response. I will state that I don’t buy into Freudian Psychology though; it wouldn’t be my go to for explaining the psyche or utilising in a counselling scenario. However, in the context of ‘intoxicating substances’ – positive thinking fits well and could be addressed as such. The religious connotation too; positive thinking certainty encourages people to ignore what is plainly before their eyes. It is quite possibly another opiate for the people, which would align just as nicely with Karl Marx’s philosophy. All of this is quite fitting as only today I was reading about how Satan came to be formulated within modern art concepts, and about Marx and his life experiences which led to his work. I was not by the way thinking of either when I wrote this. Yet, I do see positive thinking as a belief system which could be aligned to some type of religious doctrine or a method to con the masses with. From its constant ‘happy, happy’ it strikes me as sanctimonious and empty, reducing the whole concept to nothing more than inconsequential and intangible nonsense. I would like proof that positive thinking alone actually changes anything – but alas this remains to be seen.
Hi Bex, its always a pleasure to read your posts.
Thank you Phil, very kind of you.