The Fabulous Dream Weaver – turning dreams into a reality at a town near you


In the post that follows I will be focusing upon my favourite species of writer; the POSITIVE THINKERS or AKA the Preachers of the new religion. I will be featuring the genre of writing these Preachers like to churn out in abundance; with little prior thought attached.

Yet, there will be those amongst you who no doubt categorise POSITIVE THINKING posts as being logical, soul-saving, invigorating, inspiring and enlightening. I am however doubtful (as ever), that the positive words contained in such writing could truly provide guidance to anyone. They may claim to give us inspiration and hope to right our miserable lives and achieve wonders, but I wonder whether such writing only creates a population of unhappy and discontented people.

I believe that POSITIVE THINKERS, and their positive writing styles encourage others to feel as though they have somehow missed out on something wonderful, and are in short, failures. From this people react; becoming self-obsessed, frustrated and materialistic in their search for life’s deserved glory to be dispensed upon them somehow. Yet, all of this surface sheen and slippery slope to pretension is deemed to be a higher state of being by the POSITIVE THINKING BRIGADE; sad but true.

“It takes more than a few ideas, hopes and little to no effort to go from a just a dream to reality. It’s important to clearly state and write down your dreams or goals this is a vital step. Then create a plan and hold your self accountable for deadlines you have given yourself”.

Our thoughts become reality”.  Simply said, our mind naturally manifests things into existence if we truly believe in them.  Visualization is one of the best ways to make your dreams come to fruition”.

Above is so typical of the positive thinking prose. It PREACHES a new world religious order dedicated to the church of positive thinking. IS THIS proposition LOGICAL though? Should we also engage in casting some spells, and perform mystical rituals while we dance around an Oak tree naked? Just believe Brothers and Sisters and all will be well with the world; just close your eyes and wish yourself a better life. Is there a pair of ruby slippers on hand too by chance?

There is apparently NO EXCUSE either (other than the laws of logic and the premise of something called – reality) to achieving this magical wonder of new and fantastical existence:

“So for those who sit around making excuses about how they can’t reach their dream or goal. I want you to ask yourself a question is your excuse really worth going through a life time of regret wishing you would have followed your dream?

Here we go again, brow beating and admonishing in a preaching and condescending tone; linked apparently to this person’s improved wisdom and backbone. This person has achieved the wonderful life, so let us all kneel in awe.

I have to state, as I have done so before; I DON’T AGREE with regrets (stone me to death now). We do what we do because we feel it is the right thing at that time; all of which amounts to worthwhile life experiences. Life IS NOT necessarily just about COUNTABLE ACHIEVEMENTS WHICH SEEMS TO BE SYNONYMOUS WITH MATERIAL GAINS. How is this helping anyone other than trying to give the reader an inferiority complex or hunger for avarice?

Also, if there are NO EXCUSES, where are yours Mr or Miss Writer? You haven’t enlightened us humble nobodies as to how such things are quantifiable or achievable. My advice; what about producing a how-to-guide on this one; might make you some money for the old yarn you are spinning.

Can I ask, as no one else seems to; what is the big secret to all of this creation of a wonderful life by mere thought alone – if it is so possible? Questioning the truth and honesty of these fantastical claims are NEVER answered, merely ignored.

The apparent processes to results are thus……………

“Focusing on the process allows you to view setbacks or failures as opportune to learn and improveIt may sound cliché (add in by me: yes it does) but it is true failure can become our biggest teachers. I remember when I first started writing there were countless number of people would say I could never be a writer and my dreams were silly and my writing style was filled with misspellings, grammar mistake’s  and grammatical errors (add in by me: has this changed?) Those negative comments just fueled (add in by me: what is this?) my work ethic and made me work harder than I ever did before to improve my skills and to prove them wrong”

Mr or Miss Writer your skills include turning over the same well-trodden ground as a hundred other people before and after you. It is boring and mundane spiel that is merely deemed to be safe and happy; all in the aid of wracking up those ‘likes’.

How do you really feel and what do you really do – those are things I’d like to know. Are you on cloud nine every second of every day? Perpetual positivity and happiness is just not the normal human condition; we all fail and flounder sometimes, and become angry, deflated, upset and frustrated!

I also wonder why is it that those who question this positive writing and associated ideas, are subjected to the seventh circle of Hell from those who lap this type of material up as gospel. They can speak their minds, but Heaven forbid I speak mine and don’t blindly concur with them.   

Do you fantasize about how your life would be if you make your dreams a reality? (Add in by me: no I fantasize about how wonderful life truly would be minus rubbish like this). Often people avoid following a specific dream because it will takes years to achieve what they want. I want to encourage anybody reading this follow their dreams and passions (add in by me: bravo – give that person a medal or The Nobel Peace Prize).  Whatever your vision, there’s no time like the present to put your big ideas into action (add in by me: throw caution to the wind – sod the bills and whatever else just go for it). Comment below what your dream is & if you like this please share!”

Yes, please do share this – with the bin. Have these POSITIVE PREACHERS NEVER EXPERIENCED A HICCUP IN THEIR PERSONAL LIVES – EVER?! There is NO HINT as to what or how this person achieved whatever it is they achieved; if they even achieved it. The insult to injury is the fact this person actually encourages that this motivational idiosyncrasy is spread like a destructive wildfire just so they can then hear; “Wow, you and your words are fabulous”, “So inspirational”.

Why is it fabulous? What has this person revealed or stated that is so fabulous, so mind-blowing, so inspirational and so unique? People like it because everyone else likes it; popular merely creates popular just like the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes. Everyone then JUMPS ON THE BANDWAGON hoping to get a piece of the pie.

The ordinary and reality facing us all in life is once again frowned upon, and displayed as unworthy and somehow just not good enough. Or, worse still not taken seriously and dismissed, because one thought alone can dispel such hardships; ill-health, homelessness, murder and so on will then go away forever. Didn’t you know EVERYONE should be (through some innate entitlement) become the Astronaut, Pilot, Actor, Lawyer, Writer, Artist – everyone deserves fame and accolades, and EVERYONE WILL achieve them. Will they though?

We are setting the world up for huge failure here. No wonder Psychologists have huge waiting lists, and everyone is so disappointed that they have to work and live in the real world! It is very like those Quack Doctors who used to sell life purifying cure all’s at the 19th century carnival side shows. They were likeable fellows I am sure, and a colourful charade which was purely meant to titillate their audiences, but NO ONE TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY (well, at least not now in the 21st century)!

Put the word POSITIVE before something, and suddenly it becomes gospel, the new word from God. It makes me laugh though, as these people probably would be reviled at the thought of God and shun the idea of Heaven or Hell, and yet haven’t they read their own (if it is their own) words? It reminds me of religious dogma and those that peddle this thinking positive craze are actually zealots. They refuse to see any other way of life or thinking, and certainly won’t accept any another view point; as we all have to convert to their faith.

Finally I did leave one of my own thoughts (as below) for this person; meant in jest and yes I was being sarcastic. The sentiment was wasted though as they didn’t realise this; so full of their own self-importance:

“It never ceases to amaze me how thinking positively and visualising your dreams alone can be responsible for changing so many people’s lives; wow. It must be some sort of miracle, and I think there should definitely be a way to bottle this, and market it to the general populace. Lives would change in moments! Thanks for posting this – utter revelation and I for one am a convert”.

The person in question actually had the audacity to like my comment, and so too did three of their readership or worshippers. I shall say no more except; is it the blind leading the blind or what?

A Test (part 2)


I wouldn’t try to convince anyone the world is an ugly  place – it isn’t the world merely most of the people in it. Either way it’s not for me to convince anyone of either of those things. I would however like it if more often those people selling ‘think positively’, ‘self-help’, ‘self-development’ and ‘life is marvellous’ would be told to stop trying to convince, and brow beat us all into their world view. Alas it seems we prefer a rose tinted life view rather than reality.

I will be honest; often I require a sick bucket whenever I read that type of rose tinted twaddle, as it is so far from the mark for most people.

What I believe, and think about life is merely the alternative side. It is what people do forget about; the real life story. I am neither a positive nor a negative person; I am just being real and I am not succumbing to a notion of selling a fantasy cure all. I do dislike people who perpetually sell life as a bowl of peaches and cream (in that I won’t lie); the reality is that FOR MOST PEOPLE LIFE ISN’T AND WON’T BE PEACHES AND CREAM. Recognising that and representing a real world alternative actually is a balanced and helpful method.

Why must we all always pretend EVERYTHING is marvellous, and disparage those who state otherwise? 

As there will be people, more than less, who wish to see that their life and their feelings about it aren’t as amiss or as fundamentally wrong as most of the ‘positive’ and ‘all is wonderful’ camps state that it is. I feel I can state that life does suck – if not always, mostly; reassuring people out there that they are not alone in thinking this thought.

The fact people remain hopeful, and also keep moving on regardless of the bad is a great thing. I certainly wouldn’t wish for it to be any other way, as I wouldn’t want to see anyone flounder. I ONLY WISH THE BEST FOR EVERYONE; if only that was true of everyone else I have encountered in my life.

Yet does wishing the best also include selling a lie? 

My motivations for stating my views regarding life being quite rubbish for most people is not based upon a sour, miserable or jealous outlook either. I AM NOT NOR EVER HAVE BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON, that is not who I am and that is not my reasoning for thinking or believing what I do. I merely want to convey and establish the state of reality experienced in most people’s lives, and the limitations they face and can’t often change.

Knowing life isn’t peaches and cream doesn’t make me revel in amusement, but I have come to find myself ambivalent. I do admit that perhaps my high expectations for myself, and for others to be kind, genuine and respectful has no doubt affected my view. Perhaps I have expected too much from people, and from life in general. Yet, others have high expectations of achieving material gains, commercial and fame based successes and so on and so on; which for me are high enough to be more often than not unreal and unobtainable. Nevertheless these things are also reinforced as obtainable, normal and desirable by positive thinkers.

So I suppose with this carpe diem philosophy it has become normal for such small gains like genuine kindness to be overlooked in life, because we all want a perfect life and an image of positive greatness. LIFE IS MARVELLOUS after all, BUT WHAT MAKES IT SO? How we treat one another or what we achieve via positive thinking?

By stating all of this doesn’t signify that I underestimate myself or my life either; I have lots to be proud and thankful for, but I now have more realistic expectations of the world about me. What job I have, how new my new car is or how far I’ve travelled – doesn’t matter to me and in truth never did. What has mattered is realising life is flat, dull and fruitless. The other things are just distractions from the realisation.

Those silly things that often cloud people’s perceptions such as; material wealth, healthy living in the gym, obtaining immortal beauty, adhering to the rules of attraction, travelling like a nomad and securing high-flying jobs don’t cloud my realisation. All of these things are equally as worthless; merely an enforced life checklist of procedures to get through (because the time is ticking and you might die tomorrow).

What I do believe is that YOUR LIFE SHOULD BE YOUR LIFE, and you should do with it what you will – not what others churn out you should do; in vast vapid quantities listed as good advice, positive thinking, self-help and self-development.

If you are going to take advice from anyone, THEN TAKE IT FROM YOURSELF NOT OTHERS; who haven’t a clue about you, your life or your limitations. No one can tell you that by thinking positively or being optimistic and buying into ‘life is marvellous’ things will change substantially within your life. Regardless of how much you may plan or hope for the best or even try to change things; often things can and will go belly up! I am sorry, but it is true.

See life as being as empty as those ‘think positively’ promises and things may be better. 

I suppose what I am trying to state is that I can’t jump on the ‘life is marvellous’ bandwagon without admitting the real and severe flaws of it first! Even though many people can and do just to raise their ratings, because they actually don’t give a damn about the consequences of their twaddle.

P.S: This is a sort of response to a conversation – via comments – between myself and Green Embers. Just so he knows I am happy to credit him for the inspiration, and to tell him I do believe him to be a very good sort of person 🙂

A Test


I hope everyone is having a wonderful Saturday so far – well of course you all are because you are wonderful people!

I just wanted to spread the love today. I am encouraging everyone out there to trust in themselves and to believe they can achieve. Life is a gift and connecting to others is part of that gift.

Spread the love people, and share your support and goodwill to those who need it. Do something for someone else and make their day fabulous too!

Life is wonderful and deserves to be embraced by you wonderful people out there!

You are fabulous and strong and life is good!

 

A Thought on Positive Thinking


download

For the love of sanity; can everyone PLEASE let up on the mantra “the world is wonderful”, because I am left wondering who it is you are all trying to convince by saying this. Let me enlighten you; the world might be wonderful for some people, but for a vast majority who live in the REAL WORLD it isn’t all roses and miracles – nor will it be.

I have come to think that the people who perpetually peddle this “positive attitude”, and push all of the self help nonsense are the same people who’ve had very little negative things happen to them during their short lives.

Of course there are many people out there who would love to be sailing away on their mega yacht to the Caribbean (although not me as I am not fond of yachts, sailing or the Caribbean), I have to tell them that this WON’T happen. WHY? Well this cannot be everyone’s life course, because we live in a state of reality and not FANTASY.

99 times out of a 100 people’s lives consist of sucking up the ordinary and mundane whether that be; homelessness, inability to pay their way, horrible jobs, bad wages, no family or friends, death of loved ones, divorce, terrible family lives or whatever else! This is because some people need REAL and constructive help and support, not merely positive thinking alone to change their circumstances.

I know in this world of FANTASY such words are cold and harsh, but they are at least reality; which by the way it seems NO ONE wants to face up to. Of course there is also that other annoying word to deal with too; responsibility. Most people don’t want to just get up and walk away from everything in their life either, or perhaps they just can’t.

An example of those who can and do walk away; a Life Coach once told me he had become a Life Coach merely because he decided one day to this and drop everything else in his life; which also included his Wife and kids. He believed running off to “find himself” was far more admirable than dealing with his reality; his family. What a great positive life message for anyone to emulate; if you happen to be a cold, callous psychopath that is. This Life Coach then wondered why his kids no longer wanted anything to do with him. Erm, I wonder why too.

What truly peeves me though is the PRESSURE applied to people by this positive thinking and self help belief systems. It is the case that people are being told to be things that others deem necessary, and that if they don’t concede then their life cannot be classified as successful or happy. That in itself is a course to unhappiness. The best advice I’ve ever received is JUST BE YOU and BE HAPPY about that.

I wish people could just admit, without guilt, the fact that perhaps they don’t want to do anything with their lives! Why can’t people accept the fact they prefer watching another episode of their favourite TV show, lazing about and eating take away food while drinking too much wine! When people can do this, THEY CAN BE HAPPY or best of all CONTENT.

In this fantasy world we certainly DON’T like to endorse contentment; we weren’t all born to have bigger breasts, younger faces, bigger pecs, porn star sex lives, plenty of money, good jobs and so on and so on and so on, blah, blah, blah.

“We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very p****d off” (Tyler Durden – Fight Club).

In my opinion the positive thinking and self help industry has modelled itself on the cosmetics industry; honing in on everyone’s low self esteem and lack of confidence. They all ONLY WANT YOUR MONEY and in return will ONLY SELL YOU FALSE PROMISES; “if you buy into this new scam everything in your life will become wonderful over night”. Erm, no it won’t!!!! You will still be you and your life will still be what it is.

The key to the positive thinking and self help success is that no one EVER really tells you HOW to achieve anything truly concrete. Yes, it is a secret because YES there are NO REAL answers.

Do you still want that profound over night life changing experience? YES PLEASE! Well, in that case here is my advice for you;

  1. Be ruthless, selfish and determined to the point that no one else and nothing else matters.
  2. Learn to say “sod it” and just do it anyway.
  3. Leading on from this is the necessity to take risks without fearing the consequence of your actions.
  4. Plus, it will certainly help if you have the funds to do everything you ever wanted to do, as either way you will have to keep paying your bills (reality sucks I know – but so too does having a Court Judgement and criminal record for debt related charges).

So, are we all feeling positive yet – or are we beginning to feel reality?

If you need more inspiration then please read the below articles for further insights on how to feel, the reality in life……….

dailymail.co.uk/…/Positive-thinking-makes-sick-JENNI-MURRAY-hates-self-help-industry

positivesharing.com/…/5-ways-positive-thinking-makes-us-miserable-at-work

 

 

Updates!


Yes, well I thought it about time to update everyone, and anyone interested in recent and interesting events.

Things, seemingly, have settled down.

Is this the power of positive thinking at its best? I am inclined to think so!!!

OK, I have, *cough* and drum roll, officially become an English teacher. How the Hell did that happen?! She asks bemused!

I mean I had to be THE most unlucky and hap-hazard teacher in ALL of Madrid. Everyone else had floods of students, and me, well I couldn’t catch a fish if, well, if I fell in the river and, however the saying goes!

 

Yet, with a little ‘networking’; hehe, get me, a little networking, well I never! Seems that International Politics degree did give me some skills to transfer into my life after all! I’m being cynical, it has worked wonders for me so far, honestly.

What makes the work situation better, is that I am calling the shots. This is the great thing about taking on private classes! Oh, but I may have an interview on Friday.  Just thought I’d throw that one in the mix too! It has taken long enough, so I am EXTREMELY happy!

NO jinxing me, please! Remember, what goes around WILL come around.

So, from all of this soon to be teaching, there is money in the bank? Well, not yet, but it will happen! Yipppeeee! So, I can tick one ‘to do’ off my list then? Hoping so!

The social groups are revealing THE most interesting people. ‘Like attracting like’ (rules of attraction); there I go again, blowing my own trumpet, dear me.

I have met so many people who have just been able to open the relevant doors for me. I actually feel, although reticent to say it allowed, blessed.

For once in a long while, I feel my direction is going in a direction! I feel like I am walking on rose petals and not poisoned thorns, a little dramatic I know, but so true.

There is fertile ground, land ahoy, the storm is over – OK, not over, just a temporary reprieve and I am sure it will resume soon enough. So, I err on the side of caution, BUT, maintain a positive outlook!

I have also managed to meet some pretty cool friends too. I have been a bit of a social butterfly recently, and am loving it! Why not, I am young and although not single, I am free (not cheap, merely free).

The volunteering is still going well, I am chief researcher; ta dah! I maybe a real ‘geek’ , but I LOVE research.

Oh, and I am writing for ANOTHER blog, as a guest writer! This is great, as there is a ready made ‘fan base’. I am so unused to lots of people merely just liking my writing without prompt, I could get used to it!!!!

Finally, but not nor ever will it be THE end of it; my Spanish practice. Mas or menos igual; in other words, it is more or less equal to what it was. Though, I am feeling more confident.

Today I have had to speak to people in Spanish via the telephone. What the Hell has happened to me????!!!! Actually speaking on the telephone in a language I have been quite afraid of using!!! Telephone conversations were posing an obstacle for me on the confidence stakes. Yet, I managed it, although, not in a hurry to repeat it.

Oh, but I have found THE best ‘intercambio’ partner though. She is a Spanish teacher, and so nice. I do feel my confidence to increase my communication is on the rise, yes actual conversation, woo hoo! Watch this space people, anything is possible!

 

 

 

 

 

The Real Deal


A few weeks prior I decided to join a meet-up group by the name of ‘Positive Thinking’. I was particularly drawn to this group, to the ethos of being positive, and what wonders awaited upon adopting such an affirmative outlook on life, self and the world.

I suppose with feeling that I myself had been, and was going through many changes, that this group came about at the right moment. It had something to offer me.

Coincidence, well it could be described as such, yet, I don’t think so. I don’t believe in such things, as for me, everything happens for a reason within your life.

Now learning that such things as ‘coincidences’ (not quite worded as such), actually have a place within the theory of positive thinking, added extra weight to the notion that everything does happen for a reason. This group perhaps had made itself known to me, because it had something that I was looking for.

‘The Laws Of Attraction’, ideas currently being utilised by Abraham Hicks, AKA Esther Hicks (the motivational speaker and author); explained such ‘coincidences’. Although, the actual ideas, and terminology had been conceived of long before Mrs Hicks began talking about them.

Now, until the Positve Thinking group, I knew nothing of Mrs Hicks or any of the theories surrounding being positive! Yet, having read, listened and watched more about the topic, I realise what they ‘preach’ are things I always suspected to be the truth about us and life. It seemed therefore, Hicks et al had hit the nail on the head, it was the real deal so to speak.

Perhaps what they are selling is merely a sort of sense? A sense we all have about us, our lives and our place in the world. It is perhaps a sort of order to the universe or us as energy.

Allowing ourselves, our perceptions, minds, hearts and whatever else to be open to ideas; to make decisions, to choose to know what it is we want from ourselves, and from others and our lives. This all helps to obviously point us in some direction. Yet, what makes things come to us just when we seem to need them the most?

Basically; like attracts like. We get what we give, or put out into the ‘vortex’ of energies surrounding us all. Our energy effects all energy around us.

I feel this is true.

What you expect will be confirmed; in a way it is similar to a self fulfilling prophecy (a sociological theory).

Now I see that Mrs Hicks has a real good, and dependable money spinner going on here. They never deviate from the message (like preaching), they repeat the same things (like indocrination), they never offer an exact solution (like therapists), it could be a placebo effect (like some medicines), and basically – it has all the whisltes and bows of any good self help mantra.

Yet in stating all of these things, if it works for some people then why not consider it? Why dismiss it all as hokum until you try it?

As I have mentioned already, most of it makes sense! The stuff being discussed are things you will indetify with, you will no doubt have thought about already.

The topics Mrs Hicks discusses actually pull some things together. For me it helped, as I reconsidered things in life from a different perspective. Or, more precisely, from a perspective I had all along (in some form – don’t necessarily buy into it all). Hearing the seminars, it gave some of what I had already been thinking credibility/acknowledgment. Don’t get me wrong here I am no new age guru follower, or converted disciple or trying to sell any one idea! I just find the concepts of positive thinking, and laws of attraction to be interesting, appealing and useful.

However, the BIG question surrounding all of these ideas/theories still remains unanswered. If everything we need is there for us, out there in the universe, and all we have to do is in effect ‘will’ it to us, why aren’t we all happy, healthy and wealthy?

I can’t provide one air tight, logical or rational explanation for this disparity in life. The best I can do is suggest that we, and our lives are all different; and as with any feel good therapy, I don’t have to explain myself more than that!

What I do know, from my own experience is; like or need attracts like or need, your connections in life are with those who connect to you, mind can win over matter, positive can help you overcome the worst situation, being open to new experience is far more rewarding than hiding away, being clear on your own desires helps you find ways to make those desires a reality, and knowing yourself is the best way to help yourself. All of this wisdom courtesy of little ol’ me, ummm, perhaps self help or life coaching should be my new life goal!

Seriously though, positive thinking is my new way forward. Of course I can’t be; doped up with a silly grin, not a care in the world and never angry, positive ALL of the time, every hour of day! Now that would be silly to expect. Yet, I am trying to increase the positive injections and decrease the negative ones! I hope this change in my internal balance will help readjust some stuff, and steer me clearer on a clearer path.

How about you give it a go too? Go on and do it, and see what, if anything, changes for you.