Over grown, over educated (maybe even still in full time education whilst in their 30’s), living with family or friends (like some frat house experience), no commitment, if employed working on some type of made up position derived from some internship, opinionated, socially uncomfortable, self absorbed, full of their own self importance, stuck in their ways and clinging onto what they are used to, domineering, shifty body language, uncomfortable around women and women’s opinions.
Oh, and let us not forget when he cannot get people to succumb to his wants, needs, desires or whatever, he throws a tantrum. He demonstrates inappropriate anger in inappropriate ways to unsuspecting people.
Such a horrible specimen of ‘manhood’ was in my presence last night.
I have joined some social meet up groups within the Madrid area, and one of these was the Skeptics Group. Yes a skeptics group! Now usually I refrain form associating with Philosophers in general, why, well as a rule I have found them to be, I don’t want to generalise too much here; full of their own self importance, and of their own intellectual status. Yet, the group sounded interesting, so I thought I’d go along and see.
For some reason the organiser, the usual organiser, decided he couldn’t return from Germany for the meeting. So, he randomly nominated me as the stand in organiser for the meeting. As I explained to him, I was not familiar with Skeptical theory and it was my first meeting. Yet, this did not bother the organiser.
OK, well I assumed the group would be a nice bunch of individuals; understanding, able to listen, oh, and respectful of others. So, what the Hell, I gave it a go!
Throughout the meeting I felt a bad vibe from the only man in attendance (the friend, and associate of the actual group organiser). Now, the group was small, four including me – three women and one man. Yet, he wasn’t interested in us as people, he didn’t ask us anything about ourselves, our life or background. He was very clinical and odd. Strange body language, shifty and as though he wasn’t too happy with how the discussion was progressing.
Maybe he felt threatened by the female presence, frustrated he hadn’t been nominated stand in organiser by his friend (the actual organiser), perhaps he misconstrued some of what had been said (he was Spanish, and I think his English level wasn’t as good as he thought it was). I wonder if our native English tongue intimidated him, plus, the fact we didn’t necessarily agree with his opinions and views might have riled him too. Who can be sure!
It wasn’t until the conversation split; him and one woman, and me and the other woman present. I spoke only to say I had to leave soon, as I was tired, nothing much more. well, when I related this to him, he didn’t like this and decided to ‘flip out’. Only way to really describe it, he flipped out!
It was like he had been waiting patiently all night to say something, to cause an argument with me, and why, who knows, and who knows what bee was in in his bonnet!
Anyway, he accused me of lying, the reason I was leaving was another that I was too afraid to admit, I was being untruthful about my thoughts and feelings. I was concealing something from him!
What the………!! Did I just doze off, and wake only to find I had arrived in the Twilight Zone?
I had only just met him – two hours previous, and already he was convinced he knew my inner motives, he knew what I truly felt. I mean, if he had, he would have known I was thinking what a loser he was being at that particular moment! It seemed he was trying to depict me as this distrustful liar to the group for a reason. Wow, what insight, NO, what rude audacity!
I took it lightly, an argument with what was obviously an aggressive man was not on my list of ‘to do’s’ that day. So I said,
“Is he joking with me? He is fooling around right, he doesn’t mean it as I think he does”?
One of the women then replied,
“Yeah, he is fooling around, as no one would act like such an arse-hole” (jest intended to lighten the obvious prevailing bad atamosphere).
Oh dear, that was a mistake. He then turned his venom upon her.
Now my understanding of Spanish profanities is limited, as I am a lady 🙂 Yet, I am pretty damn sure he used everything in his arsenal to create one moment of utter hatred, which was aimed at an unsuspecting woman.
I was aghast. I was already standing up to go, and I could only just stand there, in complete shock. I didn’t know what the Hell he was playing at and why. I wondered whether it was a good idea to lurch across the table and spank him! Yet, the woman he spoke to with such a vile, and disgusting attitude was so calm; as too was the other woman witnessing it! They were cool and level headed, intelligent, articulate and capable women- admirable.
I was a little less cool; thinking and feeling, WTF!
For me, this is a massive NO! People, especially men, never speak to women as he was doing to this one. I was disgusted. I was shocked. I realised in that moment, this was no man, this was not a person worth my attention or time. He was nothing.
I told them all that I was leaving, and won’t be returning any time soon to a group with such a vile fool in attendance. It made no difference though, as he kept on; he had his argument, he was making himself feel better at any cost.
Intelligent, philosopher, man, human – NO, he was just an over grown child, an insecure and idiotic fool with a foul mouth.
I remember he said he had a blog. He said he had been writing about his attempts to meet a new person every week. What a sick joke! That was exactly what he was doing within the ‘skeptics group’, and look how he treated and responding to them, to us! God help those he does meet, they will be psychologically scared for life if he acts as he did with us!
This has made me really reconsider which groups I attend.
If there aren’t shouting bullies, there are pervy men trying their luck, and staring at your breasts and bum.
How am I ever supposed to meet nice, and genuine people in Madrid? Do they actually exist?
What this has suggested, though I hate to even consider it; women are never really able to go anywhere without feeling they maybe harassed at any moment.
Why is it men feel they have some power to weild over women?
Why can’t they just go out, and enjoy themselves free of being abusive bad mannerly fools, bombastic and opinionated chauvinists, and sexual predators?
Are all men really just versions of men-children?
As you can probably guess, I am still extremely annoyed by this ‘person’s’ behaviour. It has impressed some ‘downer’ upon me regarding human relationships, interactions and behaviour. Plus, this fool will never know nor admit he was in the wrong.
Also, to sum up the whole experience or night; the whole thing was some elaborate charade. It was some game set up by this nasty and foul mouth fool, and his friend the Skeptics Group organiser. It was as though they had planned such an end, it was as though they were setting us up for this, to test us in some way.
Sounds paranoid? Well, having witnessed the behaviour and considered the motives, and the things that just didn’t add up about the group, that weren’t bona fide about the night in general – this is my only conclusion. At least my conclusion isn’t a diatribe of disgusting profanities, though it could have been quite easily after what occurred!
Oh, and if you find yourself in Madrid, avoid the Skeptics Meet-up Group at all cost!
Thank you Bex. I will definitely pass on that group the next time I’m in Madrid 🙂
Yes, do! 🙂
Man child here, I would not like to be associated with that dude. That is just some bizarre and unusual behavior. 😯
Yep, sure was! I feel, no I know, men here have not much respect for women. Women’s lib kinda never happened in Spain! I strongly believe this is why he acted as he did, and didn’t bat an eye.
What a pompous jackass! (sorry, but there are worse names that come to mind) I give you a lot of credit for attending in the first place and for your attempt at taking him lightly at first. I despise when people get under my skin so much that I can’t let it go for days. He obviously has issues and simply decided to take them out on you.
No, very true, I couldn’t agree more with that term! He was, truly he was! Well I was stunned, ‘gob smacked’ by his behaviour. It did get to me, I felt so shaken in a way, that I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I feel better now, but more cautious regarding these social groups. Yep, I think he is an obnoxious bully looking for a fight to make himself feel superior. Well, he proved his idiotic, and inferior true colours when he had to resort to such foul mouthed, yobbish behaviour.
It’s too bad that someone can almost turn you off of such groups altogether, but they can. People like him truly do look for the opportunity to clash with others and it’s a trait I’ll never understand.
Yes, it is terrible that can be the case, and was the case. I was disappointed, as I hoped to be part of that group. It seems it wasn’t meant to be though. I really hope that the idiot responsible realises his mistake, and sees he has been a fool. Yet, I also think as you have stated, it is part of his character.
Sounds like you didn’t have fun last night… you should have just slapped him and left – he wouldn’t have gotten off so lightly with me around
I wanted to, but then in some ways I am finding myself wanting to slap a lot of people lately! Haha, so wish someone like you had been there; would have been good to see his sort meet a match!
maybe he wouldn’t have behaved like a brat had there been another man in the first place. People like him are often cowards.
Yes, this is true I feel. He felt it was OK, because we were women, and he felt we were submissive and afraid. So wish I’d slap him down to size!