The Stupid Fool

I was so annoyed yesterday with that stupid fool. I suppose that is my fault though, for letting her get to me. Yet, she is such a little *expletive* though.

My main problem stems from the fact I really want to tell her to *expletive*off! That is why I feel so aggravated by the situation, because I can’t say what I truly want to and remain professional (whatever that means, as to me it means being two-faced, a liar and a butt kisser)!

I do know what motivates the stupid fool to be an utter idiot with me. She is such a picky mare and all because she is jealous. Why else would the stupid fool single me out with such zeal, other than the fact I make her look stupid, and she can’t condensed to me. So, she tries to portray an impression that she can merely to upset me or spite me. Yet, she is spiting herself.

The other one said that the stupid fool is supposed to be more intelligent than we are; no she isn’t. Just because the stupid fool is of a higher rank doesn’t make her automatically more intelligent. Her behaviour, actions, attitude and general posturing doesn’t exuded intelligence, just B.S! Yes, she does have (supposed to have) a knowledge base and skill set I haven’t, but I could learn it if I wanted to. There isn’t much I can’t learn or won’t learn as my experience dictates! My path is not hers though, and I don’t want to do her job. I would actually equate doing her job as a personal failure in my life!

Yet, it is this prevailing notion in that place which completely sums up the attitude, ethos and thinking of them all. It is; a place for everything and everything in its place. Or as I like to correct them; being kept down and condescended to as though we are all indentured serfs. These people have a serious case of deference and enjoy tugging their forelock; which by the way if you weren’t aware of it already, just isn’t my style.

That’s not how I was brought up; I speak up and challenge everything. I believe in fair play and fair treatment. I also think anyone can do anything, and money nor the career you have makes you a better person or akin to God.

The thing is I know I have a brain and that I am educated. No one could convince me of the reverse, and I certainly don’t need to prove a thing to anyone (let alone the stupid fool)! Yet, the people I am stuck with (not family, not friends), are nothing like me. I have nothing in common with them or their attitudes, but I have to pretend to have a commonality; but mostly I am completely disinterested in them.

I have gained what they haven’t; although I am proud of this, I don’t make a point of it or brag about it to create reaction or effect (that’s not me either). I have qualifications, experience, skills, expertise and knowledge. I have worked in different roles covering different sectors. I have been through the  mill personally and come out the other end having learned, grown and developed. I am capable and also talented. I have done, have been, have achieved, and still will do. I am cultured and well versed with places and people.

The stupid fool who thinks she is condescending to me, already knows all about me and my skill set (et al). She also knows that she has no ground available to her by which she could look down upon me; couple that with the fact she is about 4 foot tall, and therefore physically never could in any case! I don’t say too much about myself though (unlike them). I like my personal space, but when their bragging begins I do retort. Yet every time I say something their faces turn sour, which is their way of saying “We hate you”!

I know that jealously is a terrible thing, but it certainly demonstrates just how important I must be, and of course jealousy is the biggest compliment of all so I merely smile to myself. Such silly reactions certainly make them appear to be insignificant, especially as they are all the type of people who require someone to condescend to; just to make their insecure selves feel better.

Of course I do play a role there, but it is not the real me. I play this role just to get by, which proves the power lies have within the workplace. We all seemingly have to pretend and lie to fit in, and actually ensure we have a job; it just seems so empty and fake.

Employers perpetuate this too and are setting people up to fail. It is an odd culture whereby we encourage employees to be liars, sneaky, spiteful and back stabbers. People it seems just don’t want nice or a nice truth. They don’t want diversity and variety, they want what they think makes a good employee, not person, employee; a thing, an object. God help if you rebel, speak up, disagree or want more!

Employers want someone they can manipulate, bully, harass, intimidate, use and abuse. They want us to jump to their commands and have no input, no value, no respect in return. I question what  employers can gain from that, because people aren’t happy; people cannot deliver their best under those conditions.

If people were treated better, they’d be happier and more productive. If they had more freedom to be themselves and speak their mind, they’d be happier. If the power balance was more stable in work and people didn’t become depots in their roles, people would be happier. If it wasn’t one rule for one and one rule for another, people would be happier.

People would be happier, perhaps therein lies the issue; who wants anyone to actually be happy in work and life?! Heaven help! Perhaps if that stupid fool wasn’t so curtailed she wouldn’t act like such a, fool, and maybe as a knock on effect those she comes into contact with would feel happier too! What a revelation; treat others as you would like to be treated – who knew that was such a hard lesson to learn? Well, she is a stupid fool though, so what can I expect!

Updates!

Yes, well I thought it about time to update everyone, and anyone interested in recent and interesting events.

Things, seemingly, have settled down.

Is this the power of positive thinking at its best? I am inclined to think so!!!

OK, I have, *cough* and drum roll, officially become an English teacher. How the Hell did that happen?! She asks bemused!

I mean I had to be THE most unlucky and hap-hazard teacher in ALL of Madrid. Everyone else had floods of students, and me, well I couldn’t catch a fish if, well, if I fell in the river and, however the saying goes!

 

Yet, with a little ‘networking’; hehe, get me, a little networking, well I never! Seems that International Politics degree did give me some skills to transfer into my life after all! I’m being cynical, it has worked wonders for me so far, honestly.

What makes the work situation better, is that I am calling the shots. This is the great thing about taking on private classes! Oh, but I may have an interview on Friday.  Just thought I’d throw that one in the mix too! It has taken long enough, so I am EXTREMELY happy!

NO jinxing me, please! Remember, what goes around WILL come around.

So, from all of this soon to be teaching, there is money in the bank? Well, not yet, but it will happen! Yipppeeee! So, I can tick one ‘to do’ off my list then? Hoping so!

The social groups are revealing THE most interesting people. ‘Like attracting like’ (rules of attraction); there I go again, blowing my own trumpet, dear me.

I have met so many people who have just been able to open the relevant doors for me. I actually feel, although reticent to say it allowed, blessed.

For once in a long while, I feel my direction is going in a direction! I feel like I am walking on rose petals and not poisoned thorns, a little dramatic I know, but so true.

There is fertile ground, land ahoy, the storm is over – OK, not over, just a temporary reprieve and I am sure it will resume soon enough. So, I err on the side of caution, BUT, maintain a positive outlook!

I have also managed to meet some pretty cool friends too. I have been a bit of a social butterfly recently, and am loving it! Why not, I am young and although not single, I am free (not cheap, merely free).

The volunteering is still going well, I am chief researcher; ta dah! I maybe a real ‘geek’ , but I LOVE research.

Oh, and I am writing for ANOTHER blog, as a guest writer! This is great, as there is a ready made ‘fan base’. I am so unused to lots of people merely just liking my writing without prompt, I could get used to it!!!!

Finally, but not nor ever will it be THE end of it; my Spanish practice. Mas or menos igual; in other words, it is more or less equal to what it was. Though, I am feeling more confident.

Today I have had to speak to people in Spanish via the telephone. What the Hell has happened to me????!!!! Actually speaking on the telephone in a language I have been quite afraid of using!!! Telephone conversations were posing an obstacle for me on the confidence stakes. Yet, I managed it, although, not in a hurry to repeat it.

Oh, but I have found THE best ‘intercambio’ partner though. She is a Spanish teacher, and so nice. I do feel my confidence to increase my communication is on the rise, yes actual conversation, woo hoo! Watch this space people, anything is possible!

 

 

 

 

 

Trading Places

I was simply outraged when my boyfriend related to me how one of his Spanish colleagues had suggested that he ought to ‘trade me in’ for a Spanish girlfriend or bed partner!!

What am I exactly?? A possession, a piece of meat??

What is the reasoning for this colleague even suggesting such a thing; well, apparently my boyfriend would learn Spanish much better without me in tow!!

Oh, it was meant as a ‘joke’ – hahahaha  – can you all hear me laughing?!

I don’t find it funny, not one iota. Not for me as I am the brunt of the said joke, the object of jest.

It makes the situation more precarious, as currently we are not in the same country as one another. I am in the UK (STILL), and my boyfriend is in Madrid. So, even knowing that someone would say something so off the cuff about me, and our relationship, to my boyfriend of umpteen years, hurts me.

They don’t know me – they have never met me or even spoken to me. They know nothing of substance about my boyfriend really, or about our relationship and all the time we have been together through thick and thin.

This to me speaks volumes for the person who made that comment or suggestion. It is callous and superficial.
‘Oh she no longer suits your purpose as she isn’t Spanish, so as you can’t get what you want from her any longer, dump her and get someone else who you can use for your current needs‘.

Why is it these ‘men’ think women are disposable objects?? Why is it that I can’t trip the light fandango with a Spanish man, why is it always assumed the bloke will do a runner???

I know my fella doesn’t want to do a runner, if he did, well, he would, same for me too. I trust him and he trusts me – so my fury lies with the colleague and not my fella.

Would this colleague decide to do something as nasty and calculating to his own partner or wife? Perhaps so.  Throw over someone he had spent a lifetime with to fulfill his own selfish ends, yes, and that is what we call love folks – errrr, NOT!!!

As for me not being good enough, well, I’m not the one suggesting someone has an affair or breaks another persons heart just for the sheer fun of it. What a plonker!

Bank Of Mum And Dad

Image by: cowanglobal.com

To include a suggestion made by PK Read at champagnewhisky.com, on the direction of my blog; I thought I’d begin this post by providing you an insight into what set this idea whirling around my mind in the first place.

When I was in college, and then university, I looked about myself and saw those students with the flash cars and the latest mobile phones. I wondered how they afforded such luxuries, until I learnt their secret.

These students had at their disposal their parent’s bank accounts; to pay their rent, buy their food and pay their bills as well as credit card bills too. I literally was aghast.

You see I didn’t have that, nor did I expect that. My parents ethos was work, and learn the meaning of money; it was a ‘you can’t get anything for nothing’ type of attitude. So, I worked and studied. I also learnt more than the lessons I attended taught me; life isn’t served up just to my specific taste at a click of my eager fingers. I learnt that what I wanted I had to work for, and to take responsibility for myself and my life.

Yet, so many ‘kids’ out there never learn this. In essence, they never grow up, they are the Peter Pan’s of society. Well, as far as facing the real world doldrums of paying your own way goes, and not to mention taking responsibility for yourself.

Also, I noticed these ‘kids’ attitudes towards material goods. How to have something which was worked for, was not valued and was seen as insignificant. The reason for this, well they had what they wanted when they wanted it, and didn’t need to value anything. So me driving my ‘vintage’ VW wasn’t to their discerning and expensive tastes; at least I owned my own car, and paid my own way. Something I’m certain they would have died of shock doing!

So, having left college, university and then beginning to working full time, I soon met other ‘kids’. These people although they worked, they were young enough to be in college or university – and yet, they still had this reliance on their Mum and Dad.

WHY??

Well, they claimed it was just too expensive to detach themselves from the proverbial apron strings; rent. mortgages, utility bills, food and so on, breaks their meagre bank. Their parent’s help supplement these poor strapped for cash individuals; who, let me add, were on good wages for singletons, with no kids and no house to run!!!!

In fact this still goes on now. I hear people I know comment on how their siblings or even their own children can’t afford to move out, to claim their own independence. Well, I have a different take on the reason they are still bleeding their families dry, and it goes like this…………………

People, young people, can’t afford to move out of their parent’s house, ummmm, probably because they prefer to squander all their wages on a ‘champagne lifestyle’.

These young people opt , instead of fledging the nest, to book their next expensive holiday on some sun kissed island, where the only prices that will bother them are those of the cocktails they purchase!

They say, ‘rent and mortgages are too expensive for me’ (in a whiny voice). Well yes, they can be, but so to can brand new cars, fake tans, hair extensions, jewellery, acrylic nails, nights out in clubs, new clothes, cigarettes, drugs and plastic surgery (yes, this too is on the menu)!

So, maybe the £500 plus a month wasted on their own lavishness, could indeed be spent on moving away from Mum and Dad, and paying for those oh so tiresome domestic bills, before they reach 40!

Or maybe those diamond encrusted iPhone cases are something they can’t live without, or maybe they can, if they had to. If they were given a theoretical kick up the bottom by the parents in question!

Now, I’m not suggesting young people don’t spend their money, I for one know I have spent, or squandered,  a fair share of my own; but then I did move out in my 20’s! I know of people who are in their 30’s and still wasting their money on booze and Ibiza boat trips, and they have the cheek to moan about being strapped for cash!

When will they learn that money, some money, is better in the bank than in a beer bottle?

Money savvy counts. I feel now, more than ever, this is going amiss in the world. Everyone tends to forget about it or doesn’t value what they have. They are under the false illusion that money is another ‘never ending resource’ like coal or gas, and even if they run out of it, Mum and Dad will provide what they need.

Money it seems does in fact grow on trees now, well I never!!!

Money is no longer worked for, accrued  earned, gained. Money is given gratis, courtesy of the Mum and Dad’s across the world, to the children that cling ever longer to their coat tails.

These young people now get fed the milk and honey of a never ending stream of money.

When will the hand outs stop? How old must these ‘kids’ become??

I understand love, care, concern and support – but when does this just become a bad joke? How can anyone differentiate between this, and being used and abused by the very individuals they gave life to?

When is the line crossed?  When will enough, be enough?

When do parents reclaim their own lives and say, that is it, no more?

Tired, Irritable And In Pain

I need to apologise if I am not as ‘thorough’ as I could be with my blog at the moment. I think I have let my interaction and posting slip a little. I can and will explain why though.

Well, from Friday until today has been extremely strange. I seem to be feeling more tired than ever, and have developed the most annoying headache that Paracetamols don’t seem to have an effect upon! I know that I shouldn’t be perhaps continuing to work on the computer, but then between my new Facebook page, this blog, responding to and sending emails, research and other work; I just haven’t had the option to say ‘I quit, I need rest and time out’!!!!

This feeling ill properly kicked in on Thursday. I had to miss my usual evening catch up with one of my friends, as I just felt so tired I didn’t have the energy to even move from the couch! Friday I had to miss my Spanish lesson too, the first one ever!! I felt tired with a horrendous headache which had developed and wouldn’t leave. I had so much pain that I had to stay in bed until the afternoon, which I never do! Today, the same head pain has returned; it is concentrated on the left side of my head, and sits behind and into my left eye, which is annoying me!!!

Anyway, after missing my lesson on Friday I felt guilty. I hate to miss anything as important, especially as by about 4:00 I felt better!! Typical!!! My friend then paid me a visit with some Turron to cheer me up, which we ate during that same afternoon. I really like Turron, but I regretted the food splurge as it is so heavy on my stomach. Plus, the calories I must have consumed was crazy, not to mention merely eating the food just to cheer myself up; not a good way to stabilise my emotions or increase my health!!!!! Anyway, what is done is done!

Saturday I felt better, and we went out to the Fine Art Museum. We had lunch, took some photos and just had fun. Sunday, yet again I felt tired and drained with a damn headache. I did exercise as usual though; I was determined not to be defeated, but my left eye felt as though it was going to pop from the socket. The pressure was painful inside the head. I have no idea what the Hell that was all about. I just felt weird to be completely unscientific in my description. I can’t explain the pain, but I know I am fed up of it now. I think I have to be over tired, no, I know I am! Though I am having better night’s sleep than I have had for months, it is never enough!!!!!! Now the nights of being awake have stacked up against me, and lack of sleep is seemingly beginning to have it’s effect on me.

I have to admit that I am irritable too. I just feel ‘so what’ about everything. Though, I am trying not to be this way, I am struggling! I am being horrible to everyone, short tempered (more than usual!); I feel sorry for anyone having to tolerate me! I have to get on with my day though, regardless of how tired I am I can’t just say; ‘I am going to rest, sod everything’. I have things to do for God’s sake, life doesn’t live itself!

Also, we go to Rome on Friday, Yippeeeee!!!! I can’t wait to be honest. However, I don’t want to be so unenthused, lethargic and in pain that I miss the chance to fully enjoy being there. That would just make me more infuriated with myself than I already am! I just want everything to be as perfect as it can be, and not be a complete nightmare.

I have so much to do before I get to Rome though; meetings, Xmas stuff to prepare, work to complete, so on and so on!!!!!!!!!!! It is never ending.

Yet, all I can do is think; is it sleep time yet?

Ooooo, my headache has just eased!! It has only taken 7 hours!