A Helping Hand

Recently I have been speaking to people about what is takes to help them help themselves through certain situations, which are impacting upon their lives and well-being.

This is a personal issue really, one that involves not just other people, but also myself. I have realised, for some time actually, that this notion of ‘helping yourself’, is something of a hurdle for me at the moment too.

Now I know I am really good at lending helping hands to other people, it had been part and parcel of my many job descriptions over the years, and I did it without question. Providing advice, options, sign posting, information, listening and even comforting others; yet, helping myself to progress, to move on, to find direction, right now I seem unable to, I am beginning to fail myself.

We all find there are times when we have lost ourselves, some control and direction. How do we regain focus and find what we have misplaced????? Is it a case of actions speaking louder than words, or is it that once we find ourselves stuck – we remain so???

Do we all need a helping hand, a sign to show us the way sometimes?? Or is all that help and direction laying dormant within us, and waiting for us to actually see and hear it – rather than insisting upon searching beyond ourselves for answers???

Taking some time out to do what you want, or to think about what it is you want from your life – has to be a good thing, we all need time out. Time out can help us to regain our life’s compass settings. Time out takes you out of you, and the situation you find yourself in – it can help us to see things clearer – to then perhaps progress.

I think thinking is great, but doing something is too. Yet, how do you know what to do and when to do it – how can we know how if we are lost??? Is it just finding a reason to want to do something, and begin the ball rolling, which will help us to then move on and find what is missing in us and our lives? Can we then escape the pit that our lives have fallen into??

What if you don’t want to help yourself though, or more poignantly, can’t help yourself – how can you then progress and move on???

If there is help available for you to help yourself then take it! Yet, help isn’t always there – so what do you do then??

If you don’t know your direction in life; I empathise, as neither do I!!! Nothing I do or think changes this either – it seems complex, unless I am over thinking it all!!!!!!

I am stuck with uncertainties regarding my future, just as anyone could be. Only difference is I know about it in advance, and others might not have this insight so early on. Can I change anything about what might happen to me, well, I have tried.  Have I tried hard enough though, no not really – I have been lazy too long a time.

I now find myself wondering if I have the ability to take back my life and direction. So, what happens – depends on IF
I want to help myself or whether I just continue to sit back, and let MY life slide out of view (well, eventually, perhaps).

Sorry to be angst ridden and depressive, no one likes negative moaners right? Yet, sometimes, I feel like airing my laundry publicly and admitting – I have issues too!!!!! I am stuck, lost and confounded. I require a sign post, a helping hand. I don’t have all the answers I might need. I don’t have all the strength I might need to find my way either.

I admit that, so what??? Turn your back and think pathetic fool? Or, just maybe you get what I feel, and can lend that helping hand as I know I have, and would time and time again.

Yet, you are not me……………….

…………………………………………..and I am not you.

The True Wheel Of Fortune?

I remember learning about this whilst studying Sociology; the whole premise blew me away as it suddenly explain a Hell of a lot of things for me!

People’s actions and reactions are never so clear cut! Think; ‘All in all your just another brick in the wall’.

Can you recall a time in your life when you have been a recipient of this faulty logic? I know I can.

The Facebook Curse

Recently I created a Facebook page for this blog, but I also have a personal account where I connect with friends and family.

Now, I am a fan of Facebook, well in general anyway. Since being in Madrid it has served as a great tool for me to keep up to date with everyone’s life, and also it serves as a long distance aid to conversations.

However, I have a pet hate regarding Facebook and recently (since being in Madrid) this phenomenon has only increased. I have discussed this before in an older post: I Am King Of My Castle however the topic has raised its ugly head once more.

People that I had known as merely shallow acquaintances, not s firm friends, have decided they will bombard me with ‘friend’ requests. Now these people haven’t left the past behind, they cling to what was and friend everyone who they once knew in a certain capacity I.E, usually via school.

Some of these people are what I would class as pariah’s; if I let them into my life they would only work to destroy it. Harsh you may think; no it is not, it is merely the truth. I know them too well as I have been on the receiving end of their hate and spite in the past, and it wasn’t amusing.

I absolutely despise their presumption, and their over all gall. They believe they know me, yet they never really knew me and they certainly don’t know me now! In fact, most of them would not even share a polite conversation with me at one point, and though they now claim to want to know I am well and doing OK (which they clearly know I am), whenever they have seen me they have pretended not to see me.

In fact most of those claimants to be my ‘friends’ couldn’t bear the fact that I actually did better than them in college and that I actually got to University, while they, the ones deemed to be ‘shit hot’ in school failed miserably in the big bad world.

Now that I am in Madrid and these people see my life is not theirs once more, they suddenly want to clamour to gain my attention and be part of me and my life. Well, the time I needed them has passed, but to be honest that time never existed. They mean as little to me now as they did when I 15. I saw what arse-holes they were then, and they haven’t disappointed that realisation since! Especially as they are still demonstrating that fact with vile emails made to criticise me.

Yes, they have contacted me just to impart their hatred, because I have refused them this online friendship, this online tool to use to spy on my life through. They claim, in unpleasant words that I feel I am too good to exchange pleasantries with them. No, I think they’ll find I don’t suffer fools, nosey gossips, back stabbing, shallow and small minded children who still reside in the mind set of a 15 year old!

These people bring back bad memories for me, and I hold NO love for them whatsoever! They are still what they were, and I say this because from denying them this friendship and telling them why, they have retorted as the embittered and spiteful children they always were.

I am a grown woman and will please myself, and I won’t bow to people like that just to make them happy, and save their petty feelings; when once upon a time they didn’t care a damn about me or my feelings! I basically resent them even thinking they can or should be allowed access to pry into my life, MY LIFE; which has nothing to do with them and they are NO PART OF! What gives them the right to even consider passing comment or judgement on me? What makes them think I’d allow them to carry tales about me to other people, and basically allow them to be part of my life only to try spoil it? Are they are dumb as they look?

Basically some people never learn to leave others alone, never truly grow up and get a life, and certainly they don’t learn from their experiences. I however, don’t want to be dragged into a myriad of bullshit; I just want to get on with my life in peace and quiet; settled in the knowledge I have friends around me and not enemies! Whatever they do they cannot harm me, they only harm themselves as after all their actions prove to me they are consumed in jealousy; and that is the best compliment anyone can offer you!