The Media and Double Standards – The Joke Is On Women.

Posted on October 6, 2012 by The Savvy Senorita | 4 Comments

I was watching an interview with Writer Seth MacFarlane a few weeks ago, whilst answering one of the questions asked him, half way through he uttered an expletive. The interviewers were aghast and immediately lurched forth with profuse apologies for MacFarlane’s mistake; insisting he hadn’t meant it and that he hadn’t realised what he had said was wrong. MacFarlane was shocked by their response, you could visibly see it; I suppose he hadn’t realised UK audiences are ‘anal’ about swear words being spoken on television. His retort to all of this panic was something I have always agreed with, but it has never been said as a response on television; ‘oh so I can’t say a rude word, but it is OK for breasts to be shown in UK newspapers and magazines’. Needless to say the interviewers didn’t reply to this.

Yet, it is a question that needs answering as it is a contradiction we all accept. It is pathetic and unjustified; no swearing and yet there are far worse things getting aired via the media, oh, and going on daily throughout the world! For Heaven’s sake people, get a grip, it is ONLY a word (swear)!

Double standards? I think so, but yet the UK seemingly thrive on that! Actions speak louder than words, and I’d prefer to hear a swear word being used than see the constant objectification of women on every advert, and in every magazine shoot! Hell, you only have to switch to MTV for a little bit of sex education; between gyrating and semi clad women to the explicit lyrics, sex is everywhere! However, I don’t see that being apologised for; but as usual any swear words mixed into the lyrics which glorify having sex, sex and more sex, are ‘bleeped’ out! Swear words are just a step too far, too obscene for viewers! The videos are OK though; women stripping, lap-dancing, being a sex object, being a sex toy, being cast as a dumb fool; but if they swear, well that won’t be tolerated!

Hey, no problem it is great demonstrating to everybody, mainly the young and impressionable that these ‘MTV’ roles represent all women are, and want to be. This is a must for every 5 year old’s education I am sure. MTV has no ‘watershed’, anyone can watch at any-time and be inundated with images of what women are good for, sex. Great self-esteem boost for all women out there; thanks MTV for pimping women as a ride!

I suppose people think I have a prudish outlook, you know what, I don’t care. The measure of me is not just my body parts, my female gender; I am a human and want to be treated with respect, and as a person with a brain! I personally don’t live my life to be in servitude to a man’s penis, although I do like sex, I am not an object!
I feel it is what we are subjected to daily that makes us believe what we see is acceptable, and is then adopted as the norm. We have been drip fed naked flesh and provocative images for so long we can’t remember life without them all. I just want to know why it is deemed necessary to sell; shower gel, coffee, trainers, washing powder, chocolate and God knows what else, with naked flesh and sexual invitation? Why does all this nakedness appear mostly on adverts aimed at women? Why are these images of rampaging, semi clad and sexually desperate women supposed to sell things? Who is identifying with them? What has any of it got to do with washing powder?

If you look at adverts from 10 years ago, there is a marked difference in today’s variety; the barriers of what is normal and accepted by the public are being pushed all the time. So subtle are the changes and developments that we don’t see it, we just accept it as the norm, see it as what society is like and we don’t question why. How further can it go? Will women just end up like meat on a stick; not human, but just worth their flesh?

I suppose we can’t now escape naked forms, and our enjoyment in seeing them all the time, well then, let’s have some fair sharing and distribution. More men on display and the ‘HOT’ variety please! Naked women are on show everywhere for everything; dancing to the tune of male advertisers and marketing execs, DJs, Rappers and so on and so on; if their lack of clothing has no link to subjugation, sexual pressure, objectification or dominance of fully clothed males over naked females, then why are there so few naked men?

If naked bodies and sex are cool, and the world is OK with them, why aren’t there more naked, gyrating men selling women products? Men in adverts, on television, in photo shoots; pandering to women’s sexual fantasies, being women’s sex toys, being objectified by women, losing dignity and self-respect for women’s needs. I wonder if those ridiculous double standards have anything to do with it; or maybe, it is because more men hold positions of power to decide what gets published, televised and so on? For example, the penis, adverts about condoms, the contraceptive pill and sexually transmitted diseases aren’t aired on the television or in magazines. Why are such things relegated to specific times and places; late nights, certain channels and magazines? I mean sex is everywhere, so surely we should see the other half of the species who have sex too, and not just the women of world being stripped bare? Surely we should all know about the male penis and condoms? We see sanitary products on the television all the time, but no condoms, no penis.

I wonder why half the population, who are women, are happy with this flaw. Liking sex, liking men, enjoying being seen as attractive or sexy, looking after your-self; all of this has nothing to do with despising objectification and subjugation. Being seen as a woman should be on your terms, not what a faceless industry tells you, no dictates that you are or should be. To me it seems they are destroying femininity, unpicking it with smut for money. It’s a cheap and nasty joke, which women are the brunt of. You’d think these industry men would have another punch line by now, but then, ‘small minds’ and all that!

Sexual, prude, foolish or subjugated; women’s limited roles in the media.

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A Diary of A ‘Shallow Hal’

Posted on October 1, 2012 by The Savvy Senorita | 2 Comments

I have noticed that whenever kids receive presents they are always fascinated by the pretty, and elaborate packaging of the gifts. Colourful and ornate wrapping papers, ribbons and bows hold absolute obsession for them; they have no interest in the box the gifts are in, so preoccupied with the outer appearances they ignore the real gift inside. I got to thinking; are we still those children, only enamoured and preoccupied by the wrappings of people, and not interested in opening the box to discover the true beauty of the person within?

The human race seems to be fascinated with outer beauty and appearances, so much so that we seemingly cannot look beyond. What is beauty? Is it merely powder, paint and Photoshop or is there more to it than that?

After only a quick internet search it wasn’t long before I discovered articles, blogs, posts and so on, pertaining to physical manifestations of beauty. One such article discussed how women who are a size 14 and above are lost causes in the attractiveness scale, while another stated ordinary women are just not attractive sexually; another pondered the deep and meaningful question of why men settle for a second best woman, so on and so on. Others encouraged men to view potential partners on a 1-10 attractiveness scale; 7 being the cut off point for the dating factor! The site said, ‘if a 6 stops eating for a week she becomes a ‘7’, then she is maybe datable’. Therefore, no woman should be dated who ranks below a 7!

The story of ‘Shallow Hal’ seems to iterate this notion of beauty being the ‘b’ all and end all of the things we should seek in others. Shallow Hal is a man who refuses to see beauty in anyone else if they don’t fit into a stereotypical ideal of perfection, regardless of that person’s abilities and personality; until some kind of spell is cast, and then he meets his true love, a 300 pound woman. Surely everyone has seen this movie? Surely everyone knows someone who might be classed as a Shallow Hal? Do we all need that magical spell to prevent us from becoming him?
The message I found was that only outward appearances are considered or even quantified. Everything was focused on subjective opinions of beauty by those writing the articles, posts, blogs and whatever else! Who are these people doing the judging? I wonder what bad deal life has dealt them that they feel they have this axe to grind against people just being themselves, whatever the physical form! Maybe these people have never experienced a grown up and loving relationship, but with an attitude where they measure everyone against a scale of 1-10, I doubt anyone would come up to their expectations.

Who are any of us to really judge beauty/attractiveness when each person sees something different in the next? We are all different shapes, sizes and colours, we all have different facial features and quirks to bring something different into the gene pool, to be a match for someone out there. So then why are we obsessed with being attractive/ beautiful based on the point of view of someone else, or, based on the view of the fashion or beauty industry? We don’t know them and they don’t know us. If we aren’t happy within our own skin then how can anyone else be happy with us?!

What then is any relationship truly about; love or lust? Certainly everyone lusts, but how can anything of consequence sustain on lust? If we can’t value the person for the person, or if we all have to come with ribbons and bows like all children love, then surely the infatuation and fascination will eventually soon wear off; what is the point? In the end, without all the façade there is only us; why then are we so afraid of that truth coming to light?

If it is a case of us all desperately trying to ‘save face’ then what are we trying to prove to ourselves and one another? If a grown man or woman cannot accept a person for being themselves then maybe it is their own being they cannot truly accept, their own issues they have to deal with first; and to be honest they are better left alone until they do decide to sort themselves out. I personally don’t want a relationship with someone who sees beauty as a child would (obsessing on the pretty bows and ribbons), I want someone who sees me for me; even on my bad hair days! Face facts this is the real world not a TV sitcom, no one is perfect regardless of how they may appear to be, sorry to break the illusion, but surely you are old enough to know the truth by now!

Is this the real face of beauty?

Are We Calling Time On The Gentlemen?

Posted on September 28, 2012 by The Savvy Senorita | 4 Comments

In a recent interview Dita Von Teese (famous Burlesque Dancer), said she believes that ‘a gentleman is sexy’. Yet, aren’t such old-fashioned standards dead and forgotten by men, carried away by their expectations of a quick and easy one night tryst?! I wonder what qualities a man has to possess to constitute being classed a ‘gentleman’ these days? Hasn’t that ideal shifted and taken quite a severe dent? Even if gentlemen still exist, do women want one? Is there room for such men in today’s society?

I know I have been brought up a little old-fashioned. Instilled with manners, etiquette, principles, scruples and standards; in short I know how to behaviour in polite company, how to conduct myself. I in turn value these things in others, but it doesn’t make me any less forward thinking, liberal or liberated; I am outspoken (I can fight my corner like a tiger if needs be), I am not weak, submissive, dull, stupid, dependent or somehow sub normal. I know that for some women, the very notion of a man holding a door open for her is considered an outrage, a ghastly and degrading act; well, I respect such actions, as I would do the same for anyone myself! That act does not detract anything from my independence as a woman, who has rights. What puts me off is a lack of manners; ‘manners maketh the person’ after all. An example of such bad manners; a group of men who were happy to ogle at me, but then quickly enough barged me off the sidewalk and into the road so they could pass first, as though I was mere trash. Now that ladies is more degrading than a simple act of holding a door open out of mannerly courtesy.

Having manners, showing respect, being courteous and acting with dignity isn’t something to be viewed as suspicious, a clash with women’s rights, nor is it out of touch with modernity. I think it demonstrates the old adage, ‘do unto others as you would have done unto yourself’, at least until given a reason to do the contrary!

Now surely being a gentleman embodies such traits too? Official Oxford Dictionary definition of gentleman; ‘a chivalrous, courteous, or honourable man’, originated from Middle English (in the sense ‘man of noble birth’): in later use the term denoted a man of a good family. So the term still bears the same qualitative meaning!

Consider momentarily a man who doesn’t demonstrate, dignity, respect, courtesy and manners; what type of lover would he make? These are essential elements in any would be relationship, without them you are just an object, and the man has no concern for you as a person at all. Why then do we so easily compromise on manners? Or gentlemanly qualities? Why do we forgive burly machismo, but abhor a man with kindly manners?

I know I’m not the only woman out there who is despondent with what seems to be the ‘show me your boobs’, drink until we collapse culture of today. When I see such leery and obnoxious men, this is when it is more obvious just how infrequently I get to see the species called gentlemen. This is when we all need to see the gentleman the most; to restore faith in all women, to show that not all men are just sex crazed idiots, who categorize women according to how good their breast look. That there are many men out there who are genuine, do care and that can treat women like human beings, not just objects.

With all things considered I believe there are gentlemen out there in the world, I have seen the proof. They are not the Prince who will whisk you away on a white horse into the sunset, but real men; men who value women, and don’t compromise their manners, courtesy or respect towards other people. Gentlemen are something worth vindicating, valuing and celebrating; a world without them would be a world lacking much-needed class.

Below pic: Gentlemen, just a thing of the past???