Trading Places

I was simply outraged when my boyfriend related to me how one of his Spanish colleagues had suggested that he ought to ‘trade me in’ for a Spanish girlfriend or bed partner!!

What am I exactly?? A possession, a piece of meat??

What is the reasoning for this colleague even suggesting such a thing; well, apparently my boyfriend would learn Spanish much better without me in tow!!

Oh, it was meant as a ‘joke’ – hahahaha  – can you all hear me laughing?!

I don’t find it funny, not one iota. Not for me as I am the brunt of the said joke, the object of jest.

It makes the situation more precarious, as currently we are not in the same country as one another. I am in the UK (STILL), and my boyfriend is in Madrid. So, even knowing that someone would say something so off the cuff about me, and our relationship, to my boyfriend of umpteen years, hurts me.

They don’t know me – they have never met me or even spoken to me. They know nothing of substance about my boyfriend really, or about our relationship and all the time we have been together through thick and thin.

This to me speaks volumes for the person who made that comment or suggestion. It is callous and superficial.
‘Oh she no longer suits your purpose as she isn’t Spanish, so as you can’t get what you want from her any longer, dump her and get someone else who you can use for your current needs‘.

Why is it these ‘men’ think women are disposable objects?? Why is it that I can’t trip the light fandango with a Spanish man, why is it always assumed the bloke will do a runner???

I know my fella doesn’t want to do a runner, if he did, well, he would, same for me too. I trust him and he trusts me – so my fury lies with the colleague and not my fella.

Would this colleague decide to do something as nasty and calculating to his own partner or wife? Perhaps so.  Throw over someone he had spent a lifetime with to fulfill his own selfish ends, yes, and that is what we call love folks – errrr, NOT!!!

As for me not being good enough, well, I’m not the one suggesting someone has an affair or breaks another persons heart just for the sheer fun of it. What a plonker!

It’s a Hard Knock Life For Us………….

OK, this post is going to seem like an inconsequential moan to some, so I duly apologise forthwith to those who may consider the latter to be true.

From the moment I woke up this morning I found everything a struggle. It was as though everything was fighting against me, in fact just now I was in the middle of completing this very post and my laptop decided to complete updates and re-start, and I hadn’t saved any of my work, doh!!!!!! Everything has been, well, I can’t find the words exactly; it has just been a chore I have no patience for!

This morning has just been one of those bad starts to a day. I feel not quite at one with myself at all, uncomfortable from the inside out. I began to think about the daily ‘beauty’ routines we go through, well, what us women go through, just as I was attempting to complete mine. I must admit I was becoming extremely peeved as I finished doing what was needed to my way-ward body! Nothing was as I wanted it to be, and I thought, ‘You know what, right now I’d trade places with a man in a heartbeat’.

I do not negate the fact that I am fit and in good health, which I thank God for, yet, today like on many occasions before, I just felt at odds with myself and nothing could ease my mind.

As a woman I tend to see my body as a chore, because as women we give ourselves lots of work to do, and that work revolves around making ourselves feel and look good. The list of ‘to dos’ can be exhaustive and never ending! Shaving and waxing, plucking, cutting, trimming, washing hair, drying hair, straightening hair, curling hair, applying dye to hair, styling hair, applying facial moisturisers, applying make-up, covering facial flaws like lines and wrinkles, body moisturising, cleansing, toning, removal of make-up, applying fake nails or eyelashes, painting nails, exfoliating, battling cellulite, applying fake tan, exercise, dieting, buying endless outfits and accessories, and shoes!

I know this isn’t the end of the world, but it is part of a woman’s world, and it is boring and time consuming; there are better things to think of and do! I also am aware that the above activities might not be completed by every woman, I myself don’t do it all, but it frightens me to think that this list of what needs to be done seems to only increase with age. That alone is enough to exasperate me!

Every year I notice something different, something else I will add to my list to attend to, because I like to make the most of the skin and body I’m in. I’m not obsessed with image alone, but I feel if I don’t do X or Y then I’m failing myself. OK, I don’t buy into beauty myth of miracle products, nothing is a miracle cure, but whether I use Tesco cheap or Roc Retinol I wouldn’t go a day without moisturising. All these ‘to dos’ are often passed down from Grand-Mother to Mother to Daughter; no generation escapes unscathed!

I also feel women go through so many changes, internally and externally. Of course there are our Periods; a monthly change that to be honest I wish the female of the species didn’t have to endure any longer. I say endure, because again as a woman gets older these things become even more of a chore, a nuisance; they become more difficult physically and mentally. It is the hormones that annoy me most; ever fluctuating throughout the month, one day I wake up myself, and the next I am somebody else. Angry, upset, depressed, unenthused and feeling out of sorts with everything, yes, and spotty. It can only be a Period day (or soon to be).  It is something I look forward to every month; yes, just to know I’m not pregnant!

This may seem like a topic no-one should discuss, but to be honest I don’t think women talk enough about how much of encumbrance being a woman can be. Who in their right mind would envy being a woman?

After the Periods are finished, a woman then has the Menopause to look forward to; aching and brittle bones, no libido, hot flushes and sweating, sleep disturbance, even more psychological changes, physical changes such as bladder issues, weight gain, increased body and facial hair, strokes and heart attacks. This can happen anytime from your 30’s to your 60’s, oh the joy!

So you get over one change (Periods) to be saddled with another! What women battle all their lives to prevent then comes back full force to haunt them! Yes, I am on a downer about it, I suppose most of the time no-one thinks of it as harsh, but then just because it is natural doesn’t mean it’s fair. Why is it only women go through this nonsense?

Men; what changes do they go through so regularly that it can impede and effect their lives? Ummm, nothing springs to mind. They shave their faces, so what some women have to do that too, and it can create extraordinary psychological issues for them. Men sometimes crave a perfect body and honed abs, so what women do too! In fact, most men I know just get up, get showered, get dressed and go out of the house without one concern about the spot on their nose, or the state of their hair or their beard or even their beer bellies. Women however are a different and complex kettle of fish, and again I wish I wasn’t! I repeat; I would in a heartbeat trade places to be like a man, and feel unburdened by a body that constantly rebels month in and month out!

So, I am not going to ask the Lord to buy me a Mercedes Benz, as Janis Joplin once did, I am going ask for peace of mind and reprieve; for one month of being able to be carefree about myself and my body hang-ups. That ladies, for me, is worth all the tea in China and all the Gold in the world.

Inconsequential moan now officially over, thank you for reading!

What are your thoughts; women especially? I would be interested to know how you feel about your bodies, your Periods, body maintenance (chore or not) and the Menopause.

Leave all comments below.

Below: bad hair day – not the worst that can happen!

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