Trading Places

I was simply outraged when my boyfriend related to me how one of his Spanish colleagues had suggested that he ought to ‘trade me in’ for a Spanish girlfriend or bed partner!!

What am I exactly?? A possession, a piece of meat??

What is the reasoning for this colleague even suggesting such a thing; well, apparently my boyfriend would learn Spanish much better without me in tow!!

Oh, it was meant as a ‘joke’ – hahahaha  – can you all hear me laughing?!

I don’t find it funny, not one iota. Not for me as I am the brunt of the said joke, the object of jest.

It makes the situation more precarious, as currently we are not in the same country as one another. I am in the UK (STILL), and my boyfriend is in Madrid. So, even knowing that someone would say something so off the cuff about me, and our relationship, to my boyfriend of umpteen years, hurts me.

They don’t know me – they have never met me or even spoken to me. They know nothing of substance about my boyfriend really, or about our relationship and all the time we have been together through thick and thin.

This to me speaks volumes for the person who made that comment or suggestion. It is callous and superficial.
‘Oh she no longer suits your purpose as she isn’t Spanish, so as you can’t get what you want from her any longer, dump her and get someone else who you can use for your current needs‘.

Why is it these ‘men’ think women are disposable objects?? Why is it that I can’t trip the light fandango with a Spanish man, why is it always assumed the bloke will do a runner???

I know my fella doesn’t want to do a runner, if he did, well, he would, same for me too. I trust him and he trusts me – so my fury lies with the colleague and not my fella.

Would this colleague decide to do something as nasty and calculating to his own partner or wife? Perhaps so.  Throw over someone he had spent a lifetime with to fulfill his own selfish ends, yes, and that is what we call love folks – errrr, NOT!!!

As for me not being good enough, well, I’m not the one suggesting someone has an affair or breaks another persons heart just for the sheer fun of it. What a plonker!

Family, Friends Or Foe?

Recently, well after events unfolded my with Grandmother (Nanna) breaking her hip and leg bones. I have begun thinking of the above labels, and how we apply these to people; how often these labels overlap, freely and disconcertingly.

Family; our kith and kin, our blood, our own, firm relationships and bonds.

Friends; connection, understanding, empathy, shared experiences and interests.

Foe; can be a stranger or the above turned sour and against you.

Family to me seem the strangest ‘kettle of fish’ of all the labels. Fathoming why they are as they are, and why they often profess to be on your side, but all too quickly forget that if the ‘chips are down’, is life’s impossible task.

Why are these kins folk so quick to turn against you, abandon you and use you??

Surely that isn’t in the definition of what a family member is supposed to be??

Yes, family are still people, humans; just because they are flesh and blood or linked by marriage doesn’t mean they will naturally be my firm allies. I know that. Yet, the very ones who let me down first are the ones I think wouldn’t, the ones who claim they are on my side.

In fact there has been one person whom has adopted a complete silence about even acknowledging there has been any problem, that my Nanna has been hospitalised. This person hasn’t even asked once if all is well. I always hear about this persons problems, yet now this person can’t be bothered to even enquire how I am!!!

Nice!!!!

Yet, they seem happy enough to brag up how wonderful their family is; yes, I bet they are – perfection personified – NOT!    These silly little acts meant to gloss over their recent conduct, and the issues they choose to ignore!!! Goodness me.

I really am stumped regarding this silent treatment, but feel that enough is enough. This is not the definition of family I recognise. If I am good enough to be there for them when they need something or require advice, well, consider this privilege rescinded. I am fed-up of being there for others and having nothing in return. The selfishness of some people knows NO bounds!!!

I can turn my back too, so don’t worry. YOU will need me before I will need you.

 

 

Y.O.L.O

Pic from: http://www.butler.edu

“You only live once” – a reference used to provide a green light for, or excuse something someone wishes to do that perhaps others may frown upon.

If it is true – and I am not debating reincarnation, afterlife, or any other religious belief here really, I am just acting on the assumption that life will only occur once for all of us who inhabit the planet.
So once again, IF IT IS TRUE, IF WE ONLY LIVE ONCE then we ought to be a bunch of selfish, self centred, self serving, egotistical meat heads?????????????????? Shouldn’t we????????

Why concern ourselves with politics, law, money and love??? Why abide by the rules, accumulate as much material wealth as possible, fixate on our health and diets???

We are only ever going to get one chance to live, therefore why weren’t we all born with ‘rockets’ attached to bottoms, which would spur us on from the moment we could walk?? Why wouldn’t we just all do what pleases us, what gets us the most from life??? Why would we follow anything laid out by the doctrines of society, community, family and so on????

What purpose would treading that ingrained path and towing that frayed line get us, if we did only live once????

If we are only living once then why waste time on drowning our sorrows with alcohol, working a 9-5, buying a house, repairing a car, investing in family and saving our money???????

Why not instead live life in a wild and crazy haze of fun, fun, fun? Living our lives to the max by seeing the world, travelling, meeting people, taking many lovers, stealing, cheating and lying and whatever else the ‘exotic’ could hold to tempt and entice us?????

Or, is the premise of the saying to do something more worthwhile with your life, not to waste your time on nonsense and that which makes you unhappy and unfulfilled????

Doesn’t Y.O.L.O advocate the ethos – do all you can, as quick as you can, while you can??????

If not, what is the point in saying it at all????

What in fact does it truly mean anyway??? Does anyone ever consider the meaning before they say it????

It seems Y.O.L.O encourages freedoms, because it chooses to assume that there are no consequences to face for individual actions and so on. Yet, in reality there often almost always are repercussions!

Is Y.O.L.O just an excuse to be a ‘loner’ or a ‘wolf’???? An excuse to treat those around you like doggie do do??? An excuse not to ingratiate yourself with the ‘normal’ world???

I would like to put this theory or saying to the test, and see where it gets me!!! It might make a good sociological study, something to prompt further posts even!!! Y.O.L.O actually sounds like a principle that could make a damn good comedy film.

Where did this “you only live once” notion spring from anyway???

“You only live once” – Are you so sure of that????