negativity

Two steps forward, and hopefully, this time there will be NO steps back!!!!!!!!!!!

Why, well I have made POSITIVE progress!!! YEH for me (happy face included)!!!!!

I am now a volunteer for a NGO here in Madrid, and I am feeling mightily proud of myself!!!!!! Today was my first day, and I have been busy completing some research for them; which is a task I love doing.

At the moment I am not ready to relate all the gory details of what I am exactly doing, not yet anyway. It is after all early days. Needless to say I have begun positively, and hope to remain that way too; fingers and toes crossed please!!

Since discovering the volunteer options available here in Madrid, I have noticed there has been a subtle change within myself. This little new spark of, positivity perhaps, has made everything seem a little ‘rosier’. OK, the change isn’t so dramatic that I could take on the world, and conquer it single handedly; BUT, I feel I am moving forwards instead of stagnating in that rotten rut. I have, I think and HOPE, taken a sledge hammer to that rut and demolished it!!! Hehe!!

For the next few days though, I will be away. We have booked a short holiday to Valencia, which we are looking forward to!!!

Upon my return, I look forward to recommencing my progress through this exciting new chapter of possibilities in my life!! I also have ‘Madrid Meet Up’ groups to attend, which should be interesting!!!!!!!! Who knows what new wonders will await 🙂

ONE LAST THING – I just want to THANK everyone who has been so kind in providing me with support during my ‘ranting and raving’ and negative moments. I have appreciated each and everyone of your kind wishes, advice and comments left as response to my posts. You are all truly wonderful, and kind people, who I feel privileged to have bumped into within the WordPress blogshere!!!

THANKS TO YOU ALL, and have a wonderful weekend!!!

Hope, the best weapon against life.

I had a rather disconcerting conversation with my friend yesterday, which all began because I asked the question; “What makes me unusual?”

Somehow the topic shifted. Soon we, I.E my friend and I begun discussing my desire to pursue a career, and the reason why I insist upon believing in a dream job (term applied loosely; this represents a job I truly enjoy, and feel good about doing).

My friend told me; “Dream jobs don’t exist! Plus, they are immaterial because everyone only works for the money”.

I then tried to explain my take on the dream job; “I need to feel I am achieving something and also progressing. My work life cannot be static; it has to move forwards and not backwards. I need to feel I am respected, appreciated and have responsibility in a job. I want to be treated like an intelligent individual and not an idiot. I need to have a say in my working life to prevent me becoming thoroughly miserable”.

This explanation was also frowned upon.

Yet, is wanting those things from a job completely farcical?

I then asked my friend to consider how much she had actually progressed. She now has a better position with more respect and authority given to her. I told her that she may still not be ecstatic, and may still wish to be living a leisurely life with endless funds at her disposal; but compared to how it had been for her, she now had a better life (thanks to her better job, which suits her).

All I ask is similar – to be respected and appreciated. I wouldn’t want to be an employee who is bullied, used and abused. I want to feel I am worthy and being valued in a company. I want to feel invested in. If I have to work for a living I want to be as happy as I can be doing what pays me.

I told my friend; “You are turning what I want into a negative, as though I am a dreamer. I need to believe I can find something which suits me, and will enhance me” (admittedly I am never happy anywhere for long).

My friend replied; “It would be great if dream jobs existed, but they don’t so don’t dwell on them”.

Really, and why not? Why can’t a person have more than they currently have? Why can’t they look at attaining elements of a dream job if it makes them happy or if they feel there is more hope from doing so.

I know my friend has abandoned her ideas of a dream job; thinking they will never come to fruition. Perhaps also she has abandoned her hope to achieve more in her life. This thought saddens me, and she knows it does. I cannot understand why she insists on being resigned to the fact things won’t change.

True enough; we can’t all conquer or change the world, but we ourselves can change. We do grown, develop, learn and progress – even within a job and this helps us attract more in our lives. If people reflect upon their lives they would be shocked how far they have come, but haven’t even realised. No one should give up without trying to achieve more, as that is what life is; experience and progression from one thing to the next.

I think my friend, like many other people feel it is practical to dismiss hope. Just by stating you have achieved all you think is possible at any age is depressing; life isn’t over until its over – so keep going! If I thought there was nothing more I would crack! I have always clung onto hope. I may have fleetingly considered things might not get better or things may not change, yet, not for long. I have never clung to the notion that there is nothing more for me to achieve in this life.

I actually wonder whether losing hope means you die – not physically, but internally? What is hope if not truly delusion, and yet without it, who are we and what is our life?

Without hope life is a reality stripped bare and basic; bills, work, money, worry, aliments, ageing, disappointments, lack of motivation, no goals in life. We would all then lose faith in ourselves and our lives – what would it all be like if we didn’t hope there would be more?

Hope, it is all we have for free, and without it life is damn grim. I know I prefer to live with hope than without it. How about you?

**Above insert by: www.microkosmic.com***