Trading Places

I was simply outraged when my boyfriend related to me how one of his Spanish colleagues had suggested that he ought to ‘trade me in’ for a Spanish girlfriend or bed partner!!

What am I exactly?? A possession, a piece of meat??

What is the reasoning for this colleague even suggesting such a thing; well, apparently my boyfriend would learn Spanish much better without me in tow!!

Oh, it was meant as a ‘joke’ – hahahaha  – can you all hear me laughing?!

I don’t find it funny, not one iota. Not for me as I am the brunt of the said joke, the object of jest.

It makes the situation more precarious, as currently we are not in the same country as one another. I am in the UK (STILL), and my boyfriend is in Madrid. So, even knowing that someone would say something so off the cuff about me, and our relationship, to my boyfriend of umpteen years, hurts me.

They don’t know me – they have never met me or even spoken to me. They know nothing of substance about my boyfriend really, or about our relationship and all the time we have been together through thick and thin.

This to me speaks volumes for the person who made that comment or suggestion. It is callous and superficial.
‘Oh she no longer suits your purpose as she isn’t Spanish, so as you can’t get what you want from her any longer, dump her and get someone else who you can use for your current needs‘.

Why is it these ‘men’ think women are disposable objects?? Why is it that I can’t trip the light fandango with a Spanish man, why is it always assumed the bloke will do a runner???

I know my fella doesn’t want to do a runner, if he did, well, he would, same for me too. I trust him and he trusts me – so my fury lies with the colleague and not my fella.

Would this colleague decide to do something as nasty and calculating to his own partner or wife? Perhaps so.  Throw over someone he had spent a lifetime with to fulfill his own selfish ends, yes, and that is what we call love folks – errrr, NOT!!!

As for me not being good enough, well, I’m not the one suggesting someone has an affair or breaks another persons heart just for the sheer fun of it. What a plonker!

Maggie And Me

One of the UK’s most controversial former Prime Ministers Margaret Thatcher passed away 8th April.

A recent UK television programme was discussing her life and contribution to politics, in this they questioned Gerry Adams Irish Sinn Féin politician. Mr Adams, funnily enough blamed old Maggie for the troubles Northern Ireland had experienced in the past.

Strange that; and there was me thinking that the IRA and Loyalist Paramilitaries were the cause of all that cowardly violence dished out to the innocent people residing in Northern Ireland, and those serving in the armed forces too!!

Well, guess history is definitely defined by the opinions of people, and if you are inclined to listen to Mr Adams, well, then he had no part to pay in the murders and bombing of Belfast, or those that took place in the UK either.

How quickly he forgets!!

Anyway, sad though it may be that the ‘Iron Lady’ has departed – her grip on the Government purse strings still lingers. UK tax payers are paying for her funeral, great!

So, I was wondering – where is my invite, as a tax payer??!!! Oh, and also, could the tax payer of the UK see fit to also foot the bill for my lavish funeral, when I need it, of course.

      

Home, But Not To Roost

You know when you are back in the UK when;

Every road seems to have been dug up for some sort of repair or another – causing traffic mayhem and general annoyance.

The temperatures become colder towards Spring than warmer – snow has again been promised.

Jeremy Kyle (a morning talk show similar to Steve Wilkos), is classed as entertainment.

People insist on wearing nothing but ‘sports’ wear even though they never actually partake in ANY sports activity.

Adverts constantly tell you how to win millions on gambling and then advise on fast track loans – logic please!

Young men think it is OK to assault young girls in front of onlookers in a busy supermarket. Great to pay witness to that whilst buying your Brussels Sprouts. Yes, I did intervene too.

Insurance companies think it is OK to refund you peanuts after a burglary – though you have paid for years on a policy for such an eventuality.

The Chancellor Of The Exchequer lowers the prices of alcohol instead of increasing people’s salaries, or anything else remotely useful.

You can wait forever to have a Doctor’s appointment, as the Receptionists feel they are the medical experts, and know YOU are not an emergency!

People say thank you even when they are being practically smacked in the face!

These are things that make Britain ‘Great’ – yipppppeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Ray Of Light

Being back here in the UK again so soon, feels weird. I must admit I’m not feeling 100% my usual ‘on top of the world’, and am struggling to maintain a smile and the facade of happiness.

Everything lately has seemingly taken an effect on me, like a delayed reaction. I was angry, and now I have had time to think I just feel sad. I can’t fully explain everything , all the emotions, they feel like a weight attached to my heart. I feel I need to sigh a lot, which means I have unresolved malarkey milling about inside, waiting to be set free – usually with a good cry.

Crying, is easier said than done. I am now in my parents house; time alone to ruminate is not really the easiest thing to procure! Also, I feel quite foolish, no one has died, so why do I feel so emotional and down??

I know a few bad things have occurred, and between them and other things (which are no doubt unresolved), the tension inside has been mounting for a while. I have allowed the bad feelings to lingering within me for too long a time.

So, feeling weird, and with the unnecessary little altercation over a pear (yes, over a piece of fruit), I left my parent’s house to walk. I needed to walk the emotions off, to give myself some space in the fresh air. I myself needed time away from anyone or anything just to think, to free my mind.

Although it was raining heavily I didn’t care, I let my feet take me in the direction they wanted to go. I found myself heading towards the graveyard, where my Grandmother (my Dad’s Mum) and my Grandfather (my Mum’s Dad) is buried.

Sounds morbid maybe, but I needed to be there. I hardly ever visit their graves, why, well I don’t believe they are actually there. I feel their essence left when they passed away, but sometimes being where they lie can be a focal point, a place to be at peace and think.

To cut a long story short my Grandfather or Tid as I called him from a baby, was like a second Father to me. I was close to him and my Nanna (who is currently ill in hospital). I couldn’t and still can’t really visit his grave without feeling emotional. Today, with everything mounting was no exception. I cried, and couldn’t stop myself. Although I was chiding myself for being foolish, for visiting ‘him’ with my shit when he, wherever he is, doesn’t need it, made me feel like an idiot.

I mean, it could be worse; I could be lying there where he is, instead I am alive and nothing is as bad as being dead.

So, I sat and thought and cried.

Then I noticed, from no-where a funeral procession was approaching me. This has never happened before. The exact spot I was sitting the funeral was making its way towards – taking up both walkways. I was a little shocked, and being dressed in black anyway I thought; ‘oh my goodness, I’m crying and in black, they’ll think I’m one of the relatives’!

I got up and left, and in that moment I felt relieved, a weight had been lifted. I laughed to myself at the irony – the coincidence. Moments before I saw the procession arrive I had said ‘Could be worse I could be dead’, and then there was the proof, walking towards me!

As I laughed and walked away the sun came out, the rain stopped and I just knew someone, somewhere was saying; ‘see, don’t be foolish, things will get better’.  I felt it was some sort of ‘sign’, some sort of comfort.

A weird comfort, but it worked.

 

I felt as though someone had heard me, and was trying to comfort me as best they could.

I don’t know what any of you will think reading this, perhaps that I have gone crazy. Yet, for me, it was the ‘sign’ I needed.

Times A’wasting

Pic from: http://www.tylersheilds.com

I often feel much of my day is taken up with thinking about, worrying about and focusing on the most ridiculous and silliest of things.

I don’t often question this, this is just me going through the motions of my daily existence, and I just accept it. I tell myself; this is life, we all do this, this is the glue that binds the day together, that allows the greater aspects to stand out and mean something. BUT WHY?? Why waste time on such nonsensical matters? Time is precious, we only live once – all these things are told to us daily and still, though I know this, I allow myself to be caught up.

Life seems to me to be filled to the brim with the most inconsequential of things.

We seem to make a habit, or make it life’s purpose to seek and instate the dull and the waste of time. Maybe it has become routine.

We fill minutes, hours and days with emptiness, and don’t even consider the waste.

We don’t cry out, outraged, by being short changed, by not having something more substantial surrounding us.

Immeasurable nonsense seems to be the ‘menu del dia’ every day of the week.

The cost of this cannot be counted in currency, but in that oh so precious transaction, that thing you can never get reimbursed or reinstalled – YOUR TIME!

YOUR TIME which is YOUR LIFE being stolen from you bit by bit, and perhaps you don’t even realise it.

So subtle is the theft that occurs by engaging in an action without any real and true purpose.

Yet, I write all of this and know, tomorrow is another day; once again I shall commence my slavedom to the ridiculous and silliest of things without question.

That’s life!

A Blogging Interlude

But I’ll be back!!!!!!!!!

Hello you wonderful people out there in bloggers-sphere!!!!!!!!

Just wanted to inform you all, taking for granted you will be interested; I shall be taking a little break from being
‘The Savvy Senorita’ for roughly one week.

Reason, well, I am going away and won’t be able to rely on a constant internet connection. So, I figure what is the point in stressing my-self, trying to keep up with posting when it will be difficult to do so.

ALSO………………!!!!

I am re-considering my blog, well, the direction of it, and the material I include. At the moment I seem to infuse my blog with plenty of ‘political’ scribblings, but I have taken to wondering recently if this alone is enough??????????

I enjoy my politics, but wonder if this says all there is to say about little old me. I don’t want to become ‘stuck in a rut’ after all!!

The break away may provide me some time to clarify my position, or draw up my battle lines! Either way I hope to return ‘enlightened’ (yes I jest)!

If any of you little stars out there have anything you can offer to help me solve this quandary regarding my blog direction, well, I would be oh so appreciative if you share with me your wisdom!

Thanks, and speak soon.

Over and out,

Bex 🙂