Here They Come, The Pretentious Ones.

A few months back I set myself a challenge of sorts, perhaps it was more of a quest! The motivation behind this ‘quest’, well I wanted to immerse myself more than I had previously decided to, within Madrid social spheres. Basically, I hoped to meet new and interesting people, to maybe form friendships with.

Well, as some of you may recall, I have achieved this. I joined countless meet-up groups, circulated, discussed and had fun. I met people I have remained in contact with, people I now call friends, and others, others I actually don’t want to meet again!

This is social trial and error!

I suppose by the very nature of being social, you cannot pick and choose who you meet! I quickly began to notice that I was coming into contact with one type of individual though; time and time again the pretentious ones would make themselves known.

So often, whilst in tne company of others, this characteristic reared its ugly, boring, childish, poisionous, carefully applied and maintained, self absorbed head.

One human characteristic I abhor, and freely admit I have no time to pretend I am interested in indulging, is pretension.

I am used to pretentious people though, I have experience in dealing with them on countless occasions; from being a student at school, being an employee, a friend and so on. Unfortunately pretension is, and always will be, here, there and everywhere; hiding in full view amongst people of all ages and backgrounds. Just like a sociopath / psychopath, the pretentious ones exist in quantities the rest of us would be surprised about!

It seems that everyone has at some point in their life, had to associate with a pretensious individual.

Why is pretension so terrible though? Well, the pretentious ones spoil and pollute not only social occasions. They turn all gatherings into a competition, a school-yard, a charade, a stage for them to flex their pretentious muscles and exert their superiority on the ‘simpletons’ surrounding them.

Yet, I ensure I remain aloof and thoroughly unimpressed by what others might deem to be high intelligence, grandeur, intimidating wonder, superiority or whatever else. I have no patience to sit, listen and feed the ego of the pretentious ones!

In my experience, there is definately something about ‘the arts’ that attracts this type of person, drawing them out from the woodwork in droves.

Intellectualism and creativity is great, but by being these things does it have to then delete all the ‘people skills’ a person might possess? Why do the pretentious ones suddenly forget they are human, only human, just like all the other flesh and bloods walking about this humble pile of dirt! I don’t understand why they adopt an attitude of superiority, when we are all learning, all of the time! None of us are impervious!

In fact though, experience dictates that such people actually feel, but conceal, a deep seated sense of insecurity. They doubt themselves, their choices and their social status; hence their attitude, their carefully applied and mainained persona, their pretension.

They battle to be seen as ‘cool’, but I only see insular, boring, supercilious, restricted and fragile.

Why do the pretentious ones derive comfort in shunning the genuine and real though? Why do they prefer not to celebrate individuality, and refuse to delve into enjoying life? Why do they restrict themselves so tightly? Why the charade? Why the fakery? Why act as though nothing is capable of impressing them, everything is passé, why be supercilious and bored by it all – even though they haven’t really actually lived!!

Why impose this on others, socially?! How social is that attitude, NOT very!

I really don’t understand why pretentious people tend to like, and pursue activities they feel identifies, and associates them with being seen as an intellectual! I doubt whether they enjoy ‘the arts’ as much as they profess they do. I feel they say they like such things to fit in, to be part of a crowd. Whether this crowd is categorised as elite or not, it is still a crowd, rather like being back in school!

Intellectual and creative pursuits are not just for the pretentious people of the world. Although amongst their cliques, the pretentious ones excel at being priggish or ‘posh’. They work to belittle, and deny anything that doesn’t fit with their ideals of what is ‘in’, what is cool, what is creative and intellectual.

They ring-fence intellect and creativity; constraining them, exerting their influence and pontificating about what they believe these things to be. Basically removing what these things symbolise fundamentally; freedom, change, diversity and so on.

What is this attitude if not one belonging to someone from a high school clique, a teenage wannabe?

They tell others what is acceptable, how to behave, function and think.

People never grow out of this pretentious behaviour either, and no one confronts them!

I just don’t get it! I just don’t like it! I just can’t tolerate it socially!

What has happened that people just can’t have fun, be silly, mess about, admit they are wrong, laugh at themselves and just live! What is wrong with that? Why can’t they be intelligent, creative and interesting without being so conceited, and self absorbed? Sometimes it seems as though they can’t smile through fear of cracking their face!

Honestly I can’t think of anything worse, going through life worrying how you appear, ignoring people and things you deem beneath you. Basically, these people are so stiff they seem dead already! This is NO way to live! No way at all! All things considered, I actually feel quite sorry for the pretentious ones. They are so constraint, they cannot change, they are stuck in a rut and can’t escape. How very sad.

NOTE: Before people critique my writing as judgemental and stereotypical, I have to state I don’t deem all intellectuals or creatives as pretentious people. I am discussing certain people, certain situations from my experiences and via my own opinions. I am not judging or commenting on ALL creative and intellectual people, merely some!

Family, Friends Or Foe?

Recently, well after events unfolded my with Grandmother (Nanna) breaking her hip and leg bones. I have begun thinking of the above labels, and how we apply these to people; how often these labels overlap, freely and disconcertingly.

Family; our kith and kin, our blood, our own, firm relationships and bonds.

Friends; connection, understanding, empathy, shared experiences and interests.

Foe; can be a stranger or the above turned sour and against you.

Family to me seem the strangest ‘kettle of fish’ of all the labels. Fathoming why they are as they are, and why they often profess to be on your side, but all too quickly forget that if the ‘chips are down’, is life’s impossible task.

Why are these kins folk so quick to turn against you, abandon you and use you??

Surely that isn’t in the definition of what a family member is supposed to be??

Yes, family are still people, humans; just because they are flesh and blood or linked by marriage doesn’t mean they will naturally be my firm allies. I know that. Yet, the very ones who let me down first are the ones I think wouldn’t, the ones who claim they are on my side.

In fact there has been one person whom has adopted a complete silence about even acknowledging there has been any problem, that my Nanna has been hospitalised. This person hasn’t even asked once if all is well. I always hear about this persons problems, yet now this person can’t be bothered to even enquire how I am!!!

Nice!!!!

Yet, they seem happy enough to brag up how wonderful their family is; yes, I bet they are – perfection personified – NOT!    These silly little acts meant to gloss over their recent conduct, and the issues they choose to ignore!!! Goodness me.

I really am stumped regarding this silent treatment, but feel that enough is enough. This is not the definition of family I recognise. If I am good enough to be there for them when they need something or require advice, well, consider this privilege rescinded. I am fed-up of being there for others and having nothing in return. The selfishness of some people knows NO bounds!!!

I can turn my back too, so don’t worry. YOU will need me before I will need you.

 

 

The Emperors New Clothes

There are times in most people’s lives where they are happy enough to merely; tow the line, not rock the boat, agree to keep the peace and follow the crowd.

Established and accepted norms and mores of society usually correspond to the need to ‘fit in’ amongst those we see as our peers.

Humans naturally want to be part of accepted social groups; therefore they will seek acceptance from those they deem to be important within their peer groups.

A group or select individuals within it might be seen as, and believed to be the ‘it crowd’.

The ‘it crowd’ is often an invite only social set up, which receives kudos (whether deserved or not) from those wishing to be part of them.

The desire to be part of the ‘it crowd’, to occupy a position of ‘glory’ too, is what the outsider may desire most. Therefore, to also attain that position and to receive mutual respect, they do whatever to reinforce the; importance, authority and knowledge of these select social set ups. The outsider then proves their deference to the ‘it crowd’.

These it crowds are perhaps even elite in their social set up. They will provide a doctrine by which those wishing to enter their territory ought to abide by. Perhaps, these select individuals are in fact the template, which any new comer should strive to emulate. These elitists are the educators of these new comers; the new comers who know nothing unless they follow their leaders lead.

It could be often seen as the case of ‘The Emperors New Clothes’ syndrome.

I am certain most of you know that Hans Christian Andersen children’s story???? Here is a summary of that tale if you don’t;

‘A vain Emperor who cares for nothing except wearing and displaying clothes hires two swindlers who promise him the finest, best suit of clothes from a fabric invisible to anyone who is unfit for his position or “hopelessly stupid”. The Emperor’s ministers cannot see the clothing themselves, but pretend that they can for fear of appearing unfit for their positions and the Emperor does the same. The Emperor marches in procession before his subjects wearing his ‘new’ suit. The townsfolk play along with the pretence not wanting to appear unfit for their positions or stupid. Then a child in the crowd, too young to understand the desirability of keeping up the pretence, blurts out that the Emperor is wearing nothing at all and the cry is taken up by others’.

It might take only one person to unmask these elitists, these frauds who are merely full to the brim of their own self importance; just like the child did to the Emperor.

Just one person who is willing to stand up and disagree with the nonsense being perpetuated, and ‘spouted’ as the truth for all to see, follow and worship.

One person; not a lot to change the tide; yet, it is possible.

So, why doesn’t this ‘unmasking’ happen more often???

Why don’t we confront such elitists and usurp them from their ‘thrones’???

Why is it we often go along with inane nonsense that has for some reason been ingrained as  enlightening truth OR higher intellectual substance?????

Why is it we often see ourselves as unworthy, not enough???

Why do we feel we need to be re-moulded by others to fit in????

 

OPINIONS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let me know what YOU think about such social norms and mores…………………….,

What do YOU think about merely going along with the ‘it crowd’ without questioning them or their ideas/beliefs and knowledge????

Have YOU ever just followed a crowd because YOU thought they were ‘cool’???