“Spotted”

I must admit, reading about “Spotted” in the news once again came as no surprise to me. Sadly, it seems everyday a new wave of internet indecency or nastiness becomes part of the norm.

And, make no mistake, the materials posted upon “Spotted” are particularly grotesque. But, I still have to question; aren’t such materials in many ways merely an expression of freedom, and of being human?

In truth, it is completely normal and part of everyday life – men and women will look at, talk about, fantasise about and trade lewd comments/pictures of the opposite sex. They don’t need the internet for this either.

So, I have to ask – how far is too far on the internet?

And, has “Spotted” reached, breached and exceeded the limits?

For those of you who don’t know what ‘Spotted’ is, allow me to provide you with some shockingly foul-mouthed quotes which illustrates it clearly (warning – profanities follow);

“That blonde haired girl who just walked into the 2nd floor of the library is fucking banging” – ‘Spotted: Reading University Library’ (3718 likes).

“To the dirty skank… for gods sake buy some new leggings!! jesus christ! i can see your minge!” [sic] – ‘Spotted: Swansea University Campus’ (2407 likes).

“To the girl talking about harry potter. i think your arse might be a horcrux, im gonna have to destroy it tonight” – ‘Spotted: Kent Uni Library’ (4209 likes).

These comments are typical examples of what “Spotted” has to offer. Male university students and their velvet tongues, produce one disgusting comment after another, and it is shrugged off as a type of compliment that their female peers should enjoy receiving.

“Spotted” pages are in fact part of the Facebook family. They are pages that encourage students to write comments and messages about their peers, which are published anonymously by page administrators. Many of the pages target specific universities (each page supposedly run by a student at that institution), with hundreds of different pages appearing on Facebook. Many of the pages have been liked thousands of times.

The “about” sections of most of the pages innocent enough, they encourage students to share funny incidents, grievances or secret crushes, but the reality is very different. Many of the pages consist of heavily sexualised and offensive comments about students’ appearance and sexuality, and female students are targeted with particularly misogynistic comments.

“To the stuck up slut who looked at me as if I’d just slipped a finger up her grandma…“ –‘Spotted: University of Portsmouth Library’ (7460 likes).

Some posts include images, seemingly uploaded without the subjects’ knowledge or consent.

A current post on the ‘Spotted: University of Essex’ page (3955 likes) shows a young woman sitting at a computer, apparently unaware of the fact that her underwear is exposed above the waistband of her trousers, or of the fact that she is being photographed from behind. The caption on the photograph reads: “Nice bit a crack in the reading room.” [sic]

Another picture featuring a female student, again taken from behind and apparently without consent, appears on the “Spotted: Coventry University” page (4097 likes), captioned: “Asian girls and their asses though.” Several of the posts nastily blend racism with sexism.

A post appearing on the ‘Spotted: Hotty in Hartley Library’ page (3493 likes), displays a picture of a female student from behind, and asks fellow students to identify her so the poster “can get on that”.

Many posts inform female students what their male peers would like to do to them, or are doing while watching them:

“To the girl on the c+ floor with the red toshiba laptop… i was sitting next to you a few hours ago. I literally couldn’t take my hand out of my pants the whole time.” [sic]

“To the hot girl sitting opposite me on level 3, do you mind if I have a cheeky danger wank whilst looking at you?“

“To the sexy brunette on the 4th floor, will you be my girlfrien? I didn’t add the D because you’ll get that later.”

 Others veer from sexual objectification towards bullying:

 “To the girl in the floor 4 toilets, you’re not Niagara falls, at some point you’ve gotta stop flowing.”

“The fat bird standing by the printers on the first floor. Don’t want to shag, but could really do with a cuddle.”

Is it all in good fun??

A National Union of Students study reveals that 68% of female students experience sexual harassment during their time at university, and one in seven are seriously physically or sexually assaulted. These statistics actually shocked me; I didn’t know this was the case, and I doubt many female students (current or future) would know either.

So, how harmless are such pages if they feed into a wider student culture which increasingly treats young women as sexual prey?

And, do such pages merely demonstrate, and ensure that sexual harassment infiltrates every part of the academic arena to the point that there are no limits?

I then wonder;

Does “Spotted” encapsulate a new culture of objectification, harassment and misogyny?

How can this freedom of speech be curtailed, or, should it be?

Is “Spotted” just boys being boys or is it more sinister than that?

If you or your daughter were on the receiving end of such grotesque comments, how would you react?

All I can say;

I am thankful “Spotted” didn’t exist when I was a student. It was daunting enough entering the new environment of a large university, leaving home, being frightened, unsure and anxious over everything. I certainly wouldn’t have appreciated contending with this form of bullying and harassment too.

“Spotted” is childish, dangerous, aggressive, soul destroying and cowardly; not the best way to demonstrate what a UK university education can teach you.

Perhaps, a little less lady spotting and a little more studying wouldn’t go amiss.    

Your Fat And You Know It!

Katie Price – Glamour Model

Another celebrity slap down, in the sense of spiteful name calling, the type of which belongs in the playground and to  childhood antics.

This time it is loud mouthed Katie Price on the rampage, yet again.

The ‘much loved’ glamour model v’s the more ‘demure’ Kelly Brook.

Katie slammed Kelly for looking considerably larger than she used to, akin to the size of a ‘heffer’ by all accounts.

This ‘your fat’ statement, didn’t go down too well, especially on that font of all knowledge ‘Twitter’.

Pathetic – I mean really, a grown woman clawing the eyes out of another grown woman. Why, just to be in the media spot light, just because she felt threatened by another women and she had to reclaim her throne as ‘queen bee’.

What can be gained by it??? What motivated it – jealousy?? Probably.

Why would a woman jump on the ‘women hating’ band wagon – there are enough ‘haters’ on that wagon by now! Can’t women have reprieve and actually like one another, themselves and support each other for once; instead of ripping shreds out of each other – like we are all in competition or something, for what exactly??????? Men???????

Ridiculous.

Isn’t there enough negative body image permeating the ‘rags’ that pass as newspapers???

Isn’t there, and hasn’t there been enough; back biting, bitching, positive reinforcement for anorexia, dissolution, low self esteem, self hatred, negative body image and zero confidence amongst women all over the world??????

Aren’t there enough women struggling to accept themselves without Katie Price, or anyone else for that matter, digging other women for being a normal size, and actually naturally beautiful rather than plastic manufactured or starved.

I think Kelly Brook was quite dignified though, regardless of Katie’s petulance towards her. Miss Brook said it well; Katie’s attitude and behaviour was “unladylike” – and so it was, and also peevish, petty, spiteful, jealous, hateful, crazed – and the list goes on and on!!!

So why in this day and age – the 21st century, are women still being restrained by a corset, which is in reality society. The laces, hooks and eyes in that corset are all the expectations, self imposed ideals, objectifications, judgements, negativity. prejudices and so on and so on. Women are still binding themselves up with this ‘feminine’ concept; this ideal of what a women is or isn’t, should or shouldn’t be; but the goal posts always change.

Women want equality or to be accepted as they are, and yet they cannot accept themselves, they cannot cut themselves some slack. It seems to me this is biggest contradiction that remains!!!!!

So, with February the 14th looming – no not Valentines’ Day, but the campaign ‘1 Billion Rising’; how can women stand up and be counted and protest against hatred, violences and so so????? When women are their own worst enemies, and do damage to themselves everyday by providing the ammunition for others to use against them??????????????

OPINIONS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I WANT TO HAVE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS TOPIC :

Women ‘hating’ on each other – what can this prove, what can this solve???????????????

Does such antics cause self loathing in other women??????????  

Are the media encouraging the perpetuation of negativity for women to indulge in????????? 

Are women in competition with one another; do women see other women as a threat?????????

Are women their own worst enemies?????????????????

Is it a case of a male dominated society controlling women’s minds???????????

Are men to blame???????????

Do men want to see a certain ‘brand’ of women only???????????? 

State YOUR piece – tell me YOUR thoughts…………………….

Is This A Joke?

WTF???!!!

Is this above Tom Ford advert sexy? Would it seduce you into purchasing the item being sold, which is if you haven’t figured it out a men’s cologne? Is the advert for real or maybe it is a joke? If it is a joke who is the one being laughed at?

I wonder has advertising finally scraped the bottle of the barrel, is this as low, literally, as it can go?

I don’t see the need to advertise anything in this vile and crude fashion. Can’t advertising sell anything unless overt sexual connotations are attached? If they can’t, then maybe what is being marketed isn’t worth buying!

I know this advert is aimed at men and no doubt made to shock, stand out and insight arousal; but I just don’t get it! I know people will no doubt say; ‘sex sells so how can you be shocked or upset by this image in today’s society?’ Well, why shouldn’t we be? Why should it be OK to advertise in this way? Why do I have to be ‘cool’ with seeing woman portrayed as nothing more than their breasts and vagina?!

Yes, we have seen these lady parts before, yes as women we all have these parts, but my God I don’t want to see these parts large as life everywhere and all the time? It doesn’t turn me on, it doesn’t appeal to me.

A woman’s perfume would never be marketed this way; IE, a man in such poses. So, what does that say about how a woman is perceived in marketing?

Objectification of women as sex objects, women made into an ‘it’ or is this a damn good marketing technique to appeal to men?????? You better decide, as I for one am at a loss with this.

A Diary of A ‘Shallow Hal’

I have noticed that whenever kids receive presents they are always fascinated by the pretty, and elaborate packaging of the gifts. Colourful and ornate wrapping papers, ribbons and bows hold absolute obsession for them; they have no interest in the box the gifts are in, so preoccupied with the outer appearances they ignore the real gift inside. I got to thinking; are we still those children, only enamoured and preoccupied by the wrappings of people, and not interested in opening the box to discover the true beauty of the person within?

The human race seems to be fascinated with outer beauty and appearances, so much so that we seemingly cannot look beyond. What is beauty? Is it merely powder, paint and Photoshop or is there more to it than that?

After only a quick internet search it wasn’t long before I discovered articles, blogs, posts and so on, pertaining to physical manifestations of beauty. One such article discussed how women who are a size 14 and above are lost causes in the attractiveness scale, while another stated ordinary women are just not attractive sexually; another pondered the deep and meaningful question of why men settle for a second best woman, so on and so on. Others encouraged men to view potential partners on a 1-10 attractiveness scale; 7 being the cut off point for the dating factor! The site said, ‘if a 6 stops eating for a week she becomes a ‘7’, then she is maybe datable’. Therefore, no woman should be dated who ranks below a 7!

The story of ‘Shallow Hal’ seems to iterate this notion of beauty being the ‘b’ all and end all of the things we should seek in others. Shallow Hal is a man who refuses to see beauty in anyone else if they don’t fit into a stereotypical ideal of perfection, regardless of that person’s abilities and personality; until some kind of spell is cast, and then he meets his true love, a 300 pound woman. Surely everyone has seen this movie? Surely everyone knows someone who might be classed as a Shallow Hal? Do we all need that magical spell to prevent us from becoming him?
The message I found was that only outward appearances are considered or even quantified. Everything was focused on subjective opinions of beauty by those writing the articles, posts, blogs and whatever else! Who are these people doing the judging? I wonder what bad deal life has dealt them that they feel they have this axe to grind against people just being themselves, whatever the physical form! Maybe these people have never experienced a grown up and loving relationship, but with an attitude where they measure everyone against a scale of 1-10, I doubt anyone would come up to their expectations.

Who are any of us to really judge beauty/attractiveness when each person sees something different in the next? We are all different shapes, sizes and colours, we all have different facial features and quirks to bring something different into the gene pool, to be a match for someone out there. So then why are we obsessed with being attractive/ beautiful based on the point of view of someone else, or, based on the view of the fashion or beauty industry? We don’t know them and they don’t know us. If we aren’t happy within our own skin then how can anyone else be happy with us?!

What then is any relationship truly about; love or lust? Certainly everyone lusts, but how can anything of consequence sustain on lust? If we can’t value the person for the person, or if we all have to come with ribbons and bows like all children love, then surely the infatuation and fascination will eventually soon wear off; what is the point? In the end, without all the façade there is only us; why then are we so afraid of that truth coming to light?

If it is a case of us all desperately trying to ‘save face’ then what are we trying to prove to ourselves and one another? If a grown man or woman cannot accept a person for being themselves then maybe it is their own being they cannot truly accept, their own issues they have to deal with first; and to be honest they are better left alone until they do decide to sort themselves out. I personally don’t want a relationship with someone who sees beauty as a child would (obsessing on the pretty bows and ribbons), I want someone who sees me for me; even on my bad hair days! Face facts this is the real world not a TV sitcom, no one is perfect regardless of how they may appear to be, sorry to break the illusion, but surely you are old enough to know the truth by now!

Is this the real face of beauty?

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© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.