“Spotted”

I must admit, reading about “Spotted” in the news once again came as no surprise to me. Sadly, it seems everyday a new wave of internet indecency or nastiness becomes part of the norm.

And, make no mistake, the materials posted upon “Spotted” are particularly grotesque. But, I still have to question; aren’t such materials in many ways merely an expression of freedom, and of being human?

In truth, it is completely normal and part of everyday life – men and women will look at, talk about, fantasise about and trade lewd comments/pictures of the opposite sex. They don’t need the internet for this either.

So, I have to ask – how far is too far on the internet?

And, has “Spotted” reached, breached and exceeded the limits?

For those of you who don’t know what ‘Spotted’ is, allow me to provide you with some shockingly foul-mouthed quotes which illustrates it clearly (warning – profanities follow);

“That blonde haired girl who just walked into the 2nd floor of the library is fucking banging” – ‘Spotted: Reading University Library’ (3718 likes).

“To the dirty skank… for gods sake buy some new leggings!! jesus christ! i can see your minge!” [sic] – ‘Spotted: Swansea University Campus’ (2407 likes).

“To the girl talking about harry potter. i think your arse might be a horcrux, im gonna have to destroy it tonight” – ‘Spotted: Kent Uni Library’ (4209 likes).

These comments are typical examples of what “Spotted” has to offer. Male university students and their velvet tongues, produce one disgusting comment after another, and it is shrugged off as a type of compliment that their female peers should enjoy receiving.

“Spotted” pages are in fact part of the Facebook family. They are pages that encourage students to write comments and messages about their peers, which are published anonymously by page administrators. Many of the pages target specific universities (each page supposedly run by a student at that institution), with hundreds of different pages appearing on Facebook. Many of the pages have been liked thousands of times.

The “about” sections of most of the pages innocent enough, they encourage students to share funny incidents, grievances or secret crushes, but the reality is very different. Many of the pages consist of heavily sexualised and offensive comments about students’ appearance and sexuality, and female students are targeted with particularly misogynistic comments.

“To the stuck up slut who looked at me as if I’d just slipped a finger up her grandma…“ –‘Spotted: University of Portsmouth Library’ (7460 likes).

Some posts include images, seemingly uploaded without the subjects’ knowledge or consent.

A current post on the ‘Spotted: University of Essex’ page (3955 likes) shows a young woman sitting at a computer, apparently unaware of the fact that her underwear is exposed above the waistband of her trousers, or of the fact that she is being photographed from behind. The caption on the photograph reads: “Nice bit a crack in the reading room.” [sic]

Another picture featuring a female student, again taken from behind and apparently without consent, appears on the “Spotted: Coventry University” page (4097 likes), captioned: “Asian girls and their asses though.” Several of the posts nastily blend racism with sexism.

A post appearing on the ‘Spotted: Hotty in Hartley Library’ page (3493 likes), displays a picture of a female student from behind, and asks fellow students to identify her so the poster “can get on that”.

Many posts inform female students what their male peers would like to do to them, or are doing while watching them:

“To the girl on the c+ floor with the red toshiba laptop… i was sitting next to you a few hours ago. I literally couldn’t take my hand out of my pants the whole time.” [sic]

“To the hot girl sitting opposite me on level 3, do you mind if I have a cheeky danger wank whilst looking at you?“

“To the sexy brunette on the 4th floor, will you be my girlfrien? I didn’t add the D because you’ll get that later.”

 Others veer from sexual objectification towards bullying:

 “To the girl in the floor 4 toilets, you’re not Niagara falls, at some point you’ve gotta stop flowing.”

“The fat bird standing by the printers on the first floor. Don’t want to shag, but could really do with a cuddle.”

Is it all in good fun??

A National Union of Students study reveals that 68% of female students experience sexual harassment during their time at university, and one in seven are seriously physically or sexually assaulted. These statistics actually shocked me; I didn’t know this was the case, and I doubt many female students (current or future) would know either.

So, how harmless are such pages if they feed into a wider student culture which increasingly treats young women as sexual prey?

And, do such pages merely demonstrate, and ensure that sexual harassment infiltrates every part of the academic arena to the point that there are no limits?

I then wonder;

Does “Spotted” encapsulate a new culture of objectification, harassment and misogyny?

How can this freedom of speech be curtailed, or, should it be?

Is “Spotted” just boys being boys or is it more sinister than that?

If you or your daughter were on the receiving end of such grotesque comments, how would you react?

All I can say;

I am thankful “Spotted” didn’t exist when I was a student. It was daunting enough entering the new environment of a large university, leaving home, being frightened, unsure and anxious over everything. I certainly wouldn’t have appreciated contending with this form of bullying and harassment too.

“Spotted” is childish, dangerous, aggressive, soul destroying and cowardly; not the best way to demonstrate what a UK university education can teach you.

Perhaps, a little less lady spotting and a little more studying wouldn’t go amiss.    

If You Tolerate This………..

And THIS is a product of a healthy society?? Yeah, right!

……….Where-in the HELL will it end??????!!!!!!!!

The issue of these disgusting Facebook pages makes me sick to my stomach. Where is the debate here at all?? It is simple for me; REMOVE ALL THE ABUSIVE AND SICK PAGES, and REMOVE THEM NOW!!!!

Rape, abuse and God knows what else – what part does any of that play in social networking? I mean what a conversation starter between long lost friends; “Hey great to speak to you again Steve, yeah, I’m an Engineer now, I drive a BMW and oh, yeah, did I mention I’m a wife beater and rapist – soon to be a Daddy too”. SICK, SICK, SICK; and another word, debauched.

What a twisted world we live in, and what low life scum inhabit it. Times like these make me ashamed to call myself a human being.

The men responsible for such things are surely on some ‘Most Wanted Psycho Killer’ list somewhere or another, if not, they will be.

There is nothing amusing about this sick content, and nothing which should be classed as anyone’s right to express. This is not liberating and progressive, but harmful and debase. In a civil society there is no room for such cruel, moronic and misogynist attitudes.

Ban abusive Facebook pages NOW!!!!! Stop quibbling over T&C’s and everything else; what is more important here, people and their lives or bloody paperless contracts for internet jibber jabber.

Facebook PLEASE get your priorities right once and for all!

I’ll Be Offended If I Want To Be!!!!!!!

You know what annoys me? Hearing egotistical people complain about people complaining! These people are under the illusion that they can say what THEY WANT to, but they cannot abide it or understand it when other people might take offence to what it is they have to say.

We ALL have the right to be offended. If people have the right to say something, we then have the right to be offended. If people don’t like that, well, then don’t say anything in the first place! Simple, not really rocket science 🙂

Being offended is natural and being able to say so is a right.

So, I AM OFFENDED! I am entitled to be!!!

If you don’t like it, think before you speak!

Not Just A Vagina.

I am truly sick of these Facebook pages that claim to be liberal in their sexual views and ideals – only thing is I don’t see any naked men sprawled with their legs akimbo in every pic they post!!!!! Or women stating sexually what they’d like to do to men on these pages, in explicit porno language.

Twisted Broad YOU suck, but not the ‘thing’ you continually refer to 🙂

We all know what the birds and the bees are ‘lady’, you don’t have to drag it through the dirt like smut. Pathetic and childish just to get views; its cheap and nasty.

Why have some people got to push the boundaries just for the sake of doing so? Is it merely to gain ‘cool’ points with the men?

I mean what they class as sexy is blatantly not! Sexy should surely be coupled with classy, and yet none of the rubbish peddled as sexy on these sites are sexy.

Maybe these people need to think what their acquiescence towards these sexually arrogant, lascivious and obscene attitudes is really saying to the world; ‘I am a woman and just a vagina’. Can’t they get it into their dull heads that this back step disregards their own humanity, and trades them in too as merely a sex toy / object?

What the Hell was women’s liberation for exactly? Just so women could disrespect themselves, and their own sex as lewdly and crudely as some men need no invite in doing so anyway.

Objectification is not cool. A woman is a human and not just a vagina.

The Facebook Curse

Recently I created a Facebook page for this blog, but I also have a personal account where I connect with friends and family.

Now, I am a fan of Facebook, well in general anyway. Since being in Madrid it has served as a great tool for me to keep up to date with everyone’s life, and also it serves as a long distance aid to conversations.

However, I have a pet hate regarding Facebook and recently (since being in Madrid) this phenomenon has only increased. I have discussed this before in an older post: I Am King Of My Castle however the topic has raised its ugly head once more.

People that I had known as merely shallow acquaintances, not s firm friends, have decided they will bombard me with ‘friend’ requests. Now these people haven’t left the past behind, they cling to what was and friend everyone who they once knew in a certain capacity I.E, usually via school.

Some of these people are what I would class as pariah’s; if I let them into my life they would only work to destroy it. Harsh you may think; no it is not, it is merely the truth. I know them too well as I have been on the receiving end of their hate and spite in the past, and it wasn’t amusing.

I absolutely despise their presumption, and their over all gall. They believe they know me, yet they never really knew me and they certainly don’t know me now! In fact, most of them would not even share a polite conversation with me at one point, and though they now claim to want to know I am well and doing OK (which they clearly know I am), whenever they have seen me they have pretended not to see me.

In fact most of those claimants to be my ‘friends’ couldn’t bear the fact that I actually did better than them in college and that I actually got to University, while they, the ones deemed to be ‘shit hot’ in school failed miserably in the big bad world.

Now that I am in Madrid and these people see my life is not theirs once more, they suddenly want to clamour to gain my attention and be part of me and my life. Well, the time I needed them has passed, but to be honest that time never existed. They mean as little to me now as they did when I 15. I saw what arse-holes they were then, and they haven’t disappointed that realisation since! Especially as they are still demonstrating that fact with vile emails made to criticise me.

Yes, they have contacted me just to impart their hatred, because I have refused them this online friendship, this online tool to use to spy on my life through. They claim, in unpleasant words that I feel I am too good to exchange pleasantries with them. No, I think they’ll find I don’t suffer fools, nosey gossips, back stabbing, shallow and small minded children who still reside in the mind set of a 15 year old!

These people bring back bad memories for me, and I hold NO love for them whatsoever! They are still what they were, and I say this because from denying them this friendship and telling them why, they have retorted as the embittered and spiteful children they always were.

I am a grown woman and will please myself, and I won’t bow to people like that just to make them happy, and save their petty feelings; when once upon a time they didn’t care a damn about me or my feelings! I basically resent them even thinking they can or should be allowed access to pry into my life, MY LIFE; which has nothing to do with them and they are NO PART OF! What gives them the right to even consider passing comment or judgement on me? What makes them think I’d allow them to carry tales about me to other people, and basically allow them to be part of my life only to try spoil it? Are they are dumb as they look?

Basically some people never learn to leave others alone, never truly grow up and get a life, and certainly they don’t learn from their experiences. I however, don’t want to be dragged into a myriad of bullshit; I just want to get on with my life in peace and quiet; settled in the knowledge I have friends around me and not enemies! Whatever they do they cannot harm me, they only harm themselves as after all their actions prove to me they are consumed in jealousy; and that is the best compliment anyone can offer you!

My New Facebook Page!!!!!

I thought I’d let you all know that I now have a Savvy Senorita page on Facebook!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, I figured I’d ought to bite the bullet and allow my words to permeate into another sphere of communication!!!

If you haven’t noticed I have a link on the right-hand column of my blog page.

Find the link there or alternatively click below to join me on Facebook!!!!
My Facebook Link

Hopefully this new page will allow me to connect to, and interact with more fabulous people 🙂

 

Hope to see you there!!!!

 

Is There Anybody Out There………

I could scream, but I won’t

I’m having a bit of a bad day today. Not feeling my usual jubilant and positive self, maybe the lack of sleep is eventually taking its toll upon me, who knows.

Anyway, I have been feeling quite disheartened about writing. Racking my brains and pulling my hair out over this whole quest of mine to ‘write’. Its not just the The Publishing Ladder
that is bugging me, as I have GIVEN UP on that for the time being; I can’t juggle what I have going on at the moment anyway!!!! I feel guilty enough that I am pouring my time, and energy into researching and writing, thinking and feeling the work, only to neglect most other things; including sleep and practising Spanish.

I wish there were at least 3 of me so I could do all the things I need to. Yes I am becoming a Bundle Of Nerves

Though, I try not to over think things and defeat myself, I do; it is just too easy a conquest.

Consequently today I am unenthusiastic, and to be honest angry. This has been building in me for a while. I have to say, or write, that I am fed up of being ignored, giving my best in things and being kicked to the curb (to reuse and over used Americanism). I am sick of feeling like a ‘poor relation’ over looked and under estimated.

I have raised questions that some don’t wish to answer, and that is fine, but I thought opinions were up for general discussion?? Or why else raise them?? Is merely concurring with one view the way it has to be?? I appreciate many views, but many people don’t seem to appreciate that way of being! What’s the golden handshake then? What am I missing???

Please enlighten me people before I truly do go crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is of course assuming anyone will ever read or comment on this drop in the ocean post of mine.

The end!

I Am King or Queen of My Castle and I Refuse to Surrender.

A friend of mine has recently suspended her Facebook account; she has plenty on her plate at the moment, which has of course occurs as part and parcel of her fully developed and healthy adult life. However, one of the reasons she mentioned was how she was fed up with receiving persistent emails, and messages from people she had only known as a teenager.

Now, I have had similar issues with Facebook; as good as it is to locate family and those you value as friends, it allows others to try to invade your space. Some of the people who might try to re-establish contact could be past friends, some could even have be your worst nightmare; the enemy that despised you, and the bully that ridiculed you making your life a misery.

Can you trust these people to re-enter your adult life based on what you knew about them in the past? What are their motives to trying to gain re-entry into your life?

I wonder if everyone is familiar with these types of people; the ones who harp on about the past, those who desperately desire to re-new a friendship that was only founded on a specific place and moment, also those who wish to try and re-establish their sense of greatness (‘look what I have been doing, aren’t you all jealous’), and of course the bullies from the playground?

All these people you may have purposefully lost contact with (years ago), suddenly feel they have a right to wander back into your life, and act as though nothing transpired to make them, a friend from the past or just someone you had to suffer. Maybe you consigned them to the past for a damn good reason!

It seems people are just so eager to parachute back into our lives; to pry, because they are guilty for their past actions, maybe because they have nothing else to focus on or perhaps they want to re-exert their dominance? Have they so little in their own lives that they have to cling to what was? Maybe they haven’t made a new life for themselves? Maybe they are fixating on what was, and are stuck in the same mind set and situations they were when you knew them? Maybe they want to feel a part of something more once again?

If they haven’t moved on and experienced life, if they haven’t changed their ‘spots’, is it because they are too afraid to? How could they have managed to escape immersing themselves in life, maturing and developing into an adult? What I mean is, are they stuck, frozen in one moment forever; unable to escape that child or teenager perspective on the world?

I call this ‘I’m the King/Queen of my castle’ syndrome, it is not uncommon. To explain; people like to feel important and it doesn’t matter whether they are billionaires, popular people in their neighbourhoods or the school favourite. If they have been or are deemed to be ‘top dog’ somewhere, sometime, by someone; this alters their view of themselves. When this self belief (view of themselves) is challenged by those who they bullied or those they classed as friends, because now those people they knew have more or have achieved more than them; these ‘Kings and Queens’ self beliefs are then set at odds. Suddenly their world is no longer rosy.

People don’t like to think they haven’t achieved much by others standards, or that their enemies or playground victims have surpassed them. Yet, who is really judging them, and making them feel inferior; the child grown into an adult that they bullied, their old friend or themselves?

Maybe in the real world, in another setting which is remote from their own, these ‘Kings and Queens’ begin to feel inconsequential? Perhaps they cannot cope with having to re-build their status or gain something new and different, so they have retreated from immersing themselves in new experiences. Maybe something which is outside of their comfort zone is deemed a scary place to be? Is it that they have built a wall of protection around themselves to always feel secure in their choices? If that is their choice, and they are happy, surely it is fine with the world; as long as they then leave everyone else and their choices alone? However, in my experience that doesn’t happen.

If these ‘Kings and Queens’ do feel afraid of the new, of change and development, and they have made their choices to retreat to their castles freely; why then do they feel as though they have lost out, and become jealous of what they perceive to be a better life than theirs? Why is it people cannot just be happy and move on? What to they hope to gain from renewing a long dead connection or forgotten friendship?

I admit that I feel sceptical when presented with these ‘Kings and Queens’. As I have mentioned already I have experienced this, and not just on Facebook either. I have seen some pretty vicious and poisonous things occur through jealousy; from the friend of the past aimed at the person they feel has managed to move on and develop a healthy adult life, from those who were the bully, and also from those trying to re-exert their greatness. It is a frightening thought, as you can never truly know what ‘can of worms’ you will open buying into what is portrayed on the internet; especially with cases of internet bullying on the rise (not just children get bullied), not to forget those who have been stalked or even murdered. Seems dramatic, maybe not, not for those who have suffered as a result of what seemed to be an innocuous internet ‘friendship’.

I will now ask the questions again; can you trust these ‘Kings and Queens’ to re-enter your adult life based on what you knew about them in the past? What are their motives to trying to gain re-entry into your life?

Are they harmless individuals stuck in the past or an enemy, a danger lurking in wait?

Links about Adult and Child Cyber Bullying:

http://www.overcomebullying.org/cyberbullying.html
http://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/adult-bullies/

BBC One Panorama – http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01c00y3
BBC Schools – http://www.bbc.co.uk/schools/parents/cyber_bullying/
Childline – http://www.childline.org.uk/Explore/Bullying/Pages/CyberBullying.aspx

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© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.