Top Ten Things That Shock Brits In Spain

This post has come as a response to a feature article from an online newspaper/magazine, which reports Spanish news in English. The publication is called ‘The Local’.

The article by reporter Alex Dunham; ‘Top Ten Things That Shock Spaniards In The UK’, made me immediately have a response with the opposite opinion.

What is shocking for us ex-pat Brits in Spain?

Well ponder no longer as I have constructed a list for you all to peruse!!!

Here are the top ten I have come across; not just me though, I am not that biased folks! Others I know have raised these points too, and they definitely make a worthy top ten.

Manners: Let us forget Spain as the traditional, quaint and quiet little idle, full of flamenco and sangria. This is not the Spain of today! The people in Madrid can be grumpy, rude, ignorant, pushy and annoying like any other nation’s inhabitants can be!! It is a shock to realise they say ‘speak to me’ upon answering a telephone or greeting a customer. People will normally reply with ‘I want’ and ‘give me’, which are demands many from the UK might be uncomfortable with! Yet, odd manners are replicated out on the street, metro and in general too. People will quite happily barge you out of way, won’t think twice about hogging the isles in supermarkets, and of course jump queues; all of which is quite normal in most countries though! They may not be Spain specific, but are still annoying!

Time: Lateness is normal in Spain. Meet friends and expect to wait at least 30 minutes for them to arrive. OK, the relaxed atmosphere surrounding social gatherings encourages this, but in business, not a good idea. Most nations respect and expect punctuality, otherwise how would any deal get done, and any work get completed? It is just common sense, be on time to the office!

Vacations: Some companies apply a summer timetable. In effect people begin work early and finish early. Great, and yet I don’t know anyone in the UK who finishes work at 2 or 3 in the afternoon, just because it is summertime. Not to forget the long lunch hours! Oh, and that some places close for the entire of August!

Binge Drinking V’s Drinking Everyday: Spaniards drink daily. They are allowed to have a drink during their lunch break, even on company premises! They can buy alcohol in the cinema! Drinking is encouraged; a sherry after dinner, followed by beer and wine and then finish off with cocktails after 1.00 AM. Alcohol is sold in any cafe, bar, restaurant and club until the small hours, but you won’t be able to purchase it at the supermarkets after 10.00 PM. That rule makes ALL the difference!

Shopping: Certain shops run on a repeat loop; every street you walk down seems to have the usual suspects – Tiger, Starbucks, H&M, Zara, Lefties, Cafe & Te, Bijou Brigitte, Bershka, and so on. Also, Pharmacies are BIG in Madrid. You cannot purchase a little pack of paracetamol from Carrefour (Supermarket), ONLY from a Pharmacy. Yet, from that same Pharmacy you can be sold a pack of highly addictive Codeine based painkillers without a prescription.

Skimpy Outfits: Now Spain has ample excellent weather for the women of the country to parade around in skimpy outfits, so just because they have to wear a coat in winter to cover up on the streets, doesn’t mean their dress sense has suddenly become demure. No-one is that easily fooled!

Home Design: Home decoration tends to favour flounce and frills, brown and pinks, flowers and dark wood. It is quite traditional, and dare I say, a little 1980’s! The other odd thing I have noticed is that wherever there is a bathroom, the make of the suite is always ROCA! A little weird!

Food: Wholesome and healthy, well, I suppose in some places it can be. Yet, a favoured Madrid dish, fried Calamari on baguettes, doesn’t constitute as such! Olives, processed pork, tortilla, chips and fries don’t fit that bill either!!

Make Under: Women in Madrid ARE tan fanatics. They sunbathe in local parks, and break the cardinal rule by not applying sun-cream! Women don’t often dress up (as in going out on the town) or differently. Let me explain; I see plenty of plain clothes such as jeans, shorts, little skirts and tee shirts. These are all over Madrid, they are the norm for summer and winter. Fashion seems to be quite regimented in many parts of Madrid, and for those who like to embrace expressing themselves via fashion, they will find people staring at them oddly! Britain’s urban chic is however slowly catching on in certain areas within Madrid, which is good news!

Tea: great if you happen to favour the green variety or flavoured fruit teas, not if you want milk and sugar! Oh, and they aren’t fan of kettles here in Madrid; microwaves are used to heat up drinking water. Their coffee, well, it is the same as ordering a coffee in any other bar (etc.) in any other country, it is just coffee!

OK, I had to add in another point for good measure, hehe!!

Personal Space: Now the Spanish air kissing or facial kisses are fine with me, well, ordinarily. Yet, meeting people for the first time, and them expecting to get up, close and personal, is a little off putting. I like close contact and am not afraid of hugging people, but I do love my personal space too. On the Metro people will come and sit right next to you, even if there are ample seats available elsewhere. They are there up and close to you; talking loudly, snogging their boyfriend/girlfriend, allowing their children to stamp all over your feet, or applying their make-up. Oh, and in the parks, expect to see extreme make out sessions in full swing!!

Don’t get me wrong here, I do enjoy living in Madrid. It is just that NO country is perfect!!! I would be THE first to stand up and say that UK has it’s own issues too!

Hope you like the list? Please let me know what are your top ten shocks from the countries you have visited or lived in. I would be interested to know your experiences and of course, opinions!

Normal? Are we?

‘Normal’ should be classed as THE best illusion in any magician’s act. We all appear, like an illusion, to be normal – and we do it everyday without stage lights and slight of hand.

Bex (AKA ‘The Savvy Senorita’) July 2013

Are You Being Served?

In the UK, probably like any other country, monetary transactions in a commercial shopping environment is marred by blatant rudeness. I hear people moan how the sales people in the UK just aren’t quite what they used to be; efficient, pleasant,  polite and helpful. Well, lets be honest they don’t all offer the same level of customer service as that provided in the U.S for example!!!

Yet, is this always the case? Are the sales people really the problem or is there more besides to consider?

Now I understand 1st hand what it is to be a sales person, having worked in retail during my time in college and university. I understand disaffection, dissatisfaction, resentment amongst staff, terrible working hours and wages. Many sales people who serve you in shops, supermarkets and take your telephone calls everyday, are also no doubt college students. Students feeling just as I did; bored and sick of inane complaints over inconsequential things (bad attitude right? Well that’s every college students prerogative)!

Although in mentioning a bad attitude, rudeness for the sake of it is NEVER excused. I was never a surly, lazy or nasty, that is not my style. Yet, this old adage too that “the customer is always right” is completely WRONG!!!

There are those customers who are the thoroughly horrible, nasty, rude, ill mannered, intimidating and threatening type. I know as I have experienced these people. There is something about ‘shops’ in general that induce customers to act in a way completely alien to their normal behavioural types. In fact if such behaviour transpired on public streets, they’d often be arrested for it! I mean what sane person, a grown man for example, is willing to threaten a 18yr old girl?? Only in a shop where the older man is a customer, and 18 year old is a sales person (me).

What right has any customer to call a sales person stupid, a bitch or threaten them with violence??? Is it just because the customer is annoyed with the shop, the products, or annoyed with their own lives and inadequacies? After all the sales person doesn’t own the shop, has no control on the stock and tries their best to do what they can for a customer, even a rude and nasty customer!

I mean even murderers have human rights so why doesn’t a sales person too???

What crime have they really committed except for working for a terrible company that won’t protect their own staff’s safety, by advocating a no tolerance of customer abuse and violence against them. Is it their fault they have ineffective and un-supportive managers, who allow customers to rule the roost?

All of this abuse happens more often than you’d even think too. I KNOW AS I’VE seen it all happening. Appalling,  yes it is as stores think this is OK – that their staff should be OK with this lack of support from people responsible for them, and take such abuse with a smile.

This barrage of name calling and so on can occur on a daily basis, and the customer is never ‘pulled up’ on it. Yet, if the staff say one thing deemed inappropriate, they can face discipline or even the sack. Isn’t it only fair; if you can give abuse you should expect to receive it in return, customer or not?

So, next time you are in a shop and the sale person is a little unhappy, not cheerful, and doesn’t have a fake smile plastered over their face, is a little short tempered or perhaps ill-mannered; give a thought as to why. Consider this  before you jump to conclusions, for vexing your ideals of perfect customer service.

Perhaps just before they served you they had been victims of verbal abuse, threatened with violence, not supported by their management. Perhaps they have been made to feel like garbage just because they are sales people and not Doctors or Lawyers somewhere.

Sales people are only people too; they have feelings, rights, families and aren’t there to be abused.

Think about it!

Brain Plasticity – How Do We Learn?

Brain Plasticity – looks as complex as it sounds?

Well, last week I had my first official Intercambio meeting (Spanish and English language exchange), via a college here in Madrid. I have written about learning Spanish in a previous post, and the trials and tribulations of becoming accustomed to a new language and life setting. It is not as though I don’t use what Spanish I have learnt, or practice with others, but this Intercambio meeting was the first step in officially ratifying and testing my learning.

Needless to say I felt very nervous. One reason was the fact I didn’t know who I would be meeting with, and I couldn’t be certain whether we would have any common ground to even begin a conversation with. Secondly I really pinned my hopes on using this meeting as a vehicle to gain acquaintance with new people, and to continue to expand my networks; hence I really wanted the initial meeting to go well. Thirdly I was aware I was succumbing to my inner disappointments, because of my lack of Spanish language skills. I therefore felt I was going to be somehow inferior to everyone else present. I have this belief that everyone I meet has mastered a second or third language far better than I ever will; not a conducive thought for the learning processes to take hold (I know).

Anyway, I was eagerly punctual, as always and begun chatting to one of the staff at the college who is Romanian. He was trying to reassure me that it does take time to learn any language well enough to speak confidently, while proceeding to provide me with the same advice I usually receive; go out more and interact and listen to the language being spoken, watch television and listen to the radio. Basically submerse myself in the language on a daily basis.

Of course I agree with this, but again I seem to struggle, though admittedly I am not submerging myself enough.

However, I have reached a point where I am considering my brain’s capacity to actually learn a new language. Is it physically possible for me to learn a new language, have I the specific abilities required in this type of learning or is it merely my self doubt hindering my abilities because I insist on being under confident?

Learning is a complex, but it often happens without conscious recognition; it is something we do everyday without thought. I wondered how it was possible to even begin learning anything, how is learning made easy or completed by the brain. Well, after studying Psychology I know the scientific facts of how the brain absorbs and retains information; written, spoken, memories and actions. I have learnt about Neurons, Neural pathways and Synapses. Yet, how does what we learn, see or do actual stick; what acts do we complete whilst learning something to make the physical processes in the brain kick in?

I considered the theory of ‘brain plasticity’, I wondered if it were applicable. Put simply this theory states; plasticity is something that occurs when we engage in new learning and experience, the brain begins to establish neural pathways to compensate. Neural pathways or circuits are routes made of inter-communicating neurons. These routes are created in the brain through learning and practice; like retreading a path. Visual and auditory cortex’s can be involved in the process, as well as muscle memory. The more you revisit the new experience or learning activity, the stronger the connections become, the more efficient they are made and the faster cognition will become.

Sounds simple enough right?! Well, I now have begun to wonder if my brain has lost out on this plasticity malarkey. Just how much brain plasticity I have in reference to being able to learn new language skills?

Now I haven’t completed a scientific test, but surely not all people are able to learn and perfect everything? The scientific theory seems to make it all sound so easy; the old adage of practice makes perfect resonates throughout it. Yet, what if the practice itself is difficult? What if you prefer something more than the other, won’t that effect what and how you learn? How is it that I can read or watch something I find interesting in English, and retain the information immediately, and in Spanish I feel as though my brain resists the information and learning process?

Are some areas of learning or things to be learnt, just out of bounds for some people? I mean not everyone can dance, play guitar, recall their maths times tables; so cannot that be true of language?

I feel there is always a piece of the learning process missing when it comes to practising Spanish. I know practice and effort are the key, but also self belief, confidence and understanding what we are learning have importance too. Maybe they hold more importance than the actual effort and practice. From experience repetition and effort doesn’t always succeed in making learning kick in and stick. Or could it be that once you get past your teens learning becomes more difficult; because finding the time and head space to fully dedicate yourself, and concentrate completely on learning something new becomes more scarce?

Anyway, I intend to put the theories to the test, on myself in any-case. I have the opportunity to do so as the Intercambio meeting went well, and I will be meeting with a couple of people on a regular basis to practice Spanish. Hopefully I can then shock my brain into action or reaction! I don’t really want to seriously consider the fact that my brain might not have the capacity to learn a new language; that thought doesn’t appeal to me. I feel there has to be a way! I will therefore use all the learning techniques available to encourage plasticity. After all, I am Mistress over my own brain, or am I?

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Benefits = food vouchers; the new Universal Credit, errr, card?

A poll commissioned by one of the many ‘think tanks’ has come up with a surprising response; people would be in favour of benefit claimants receiving vouchers, or indeed a ‘debit card’ solely to purchase ‘agreed’ items, such as food.

Needless to say these findings have provoked disgust from anti-poverty campaigners, who have been questioning the so called findings as the response of those ignorant to the full facts, and influenced by propaganda surrounding benefit claimants from the UK media.

Alison Garnham, director of the Child Poverty Action Group, was the findings harshest critic, stating that we could discount what 59% of the research group agreed upon, vouchers for societies ‘slouchers’.

“In the United States in the 1960s, welfare rights campaigners argued for food stamps for certain groups on the basis that some of them were alcohol abusers, but it’s not an argument that ever took traction in the UK because people would find that offensive. I think we have a very different culture. I just don’t think it would be acceptable in the same way,” Alison Garnham, Demos fringe meeting at the Labour Party conference.

In the United States, ‘food stamps’ are in the form of pre-payment card (debit card of sorts), that is then used by the claimant to purchase food and other essentials, which do not include the ‘luxuries’ of life such as alcohol and tobacco.

Well maybe Alison Garnham should think again, as the findings of this research demonstrates that people don’t think changing the current benefit/ social security system would be ‘offensive’. Many do in fact feel that this benefit ‘charity’ should end;

77% said yes to monitoring people with a substance or gambling addiction, and 69% for those with a criminal or anti-social history.
68% agreed the government should stop all recipients from spending their benefits on gambling.
54% agreed with the government should prevent people spending their benefits on unhealthy items such as cigarettes or alcohol.
46% opposed benefits being spent on branded goods such as Nike trainers.
38% backed a ban on buying junk food and 35% on holidays.

(Poll was carried out by Populus Data Solutions, based on a survey of 2,052 adults)

With Universal credit making an appearance very soon, six work related benefits will be lumped together, making this an ideal candidate for such controlled measures, and a pre-payment style card.

In fact, so far not even Prime Minister David Cameron has denied that he is not completely averse to exercising more control over how claimants spend their money.

Leaving out the fact that Universal Credit is just a one size fits all benefit, which benefits no-one, not even the working UK populace. How would such a pre-paid card (debit card) exercise such control, and prevent people from just living their normal lives? Well, online gabbling would be blocked by such cards. Such transactions wouldn’t be permitted, therefore they wouldn’t gain authorisation; like a debit card refused for lack of funds in the bank.

OK, but how can a mere debit card encourage people to make more healthy choices, surely this is a tougher question to answer? Does anyone have the right to control or outlaw what people choose to eat, drink or even smoke? Even the Police department responsible for stamping out illegal substances can’t boast that feat! People will do anything to get what they want; they do for drugs! So will this ‘ban’ increase the illegal selling and distribution of alcohol and tobacco? Will people commit even more crime to get such items one way or another?

I know the inspiration for this debit card system has originated with parents and families in mind. People on benefits are seen to choose those above luxuries over actually feeding their children. On a tight budget even one pack of cigarettes is surely unnecessary though; if it means more food on the plate, electric in the meter or clothes on your back, which would you choose? There are people out there who do blow all their money on nothing, regardless of their children or their house hold responsibilities; but how can we intervene completely, maybe stop paying them altogether? Don’t such issues also affect those who work too?

I agree that any benefit isn’t a charity hand out, it is there for hard times; even charities stipulate where their money can go to, and how it can be utilised, but again how can you differentiate between the people in receipt of a benefit? There are claimants who have never worked, and not because they cannot, but because they don’t want to; then again there are those who have worked, and want to work, and also those who are indeed too ill to work. I know I wouldn’t want to have anyone treat me like a brain dead moron just because I was claiming a benefit; I would not appreciate being told where to and what to buy. Plus, it is also the stigma attached to using such a ‘card’, its letting everyone know; ‘Hey, I’m on benefits’, setting people up for ridicule. It is a too general answer to a problem, as not everyone on a benefit is a scrounger. So where do you draw the battle lines and makes the distinctions?

I know there are people on benefits who go away on holidays, buy iPhone’s, drive nice cars, have great big televisions, and have nights out wearing the best clothes; I have seen that happen quite frequently, but it is not the genuinely needy people who do this. Those that con the system are also usually working and claiming (fraud), gaining illegal earnings from something or just don’t care about what happens when the money has run out. Not everyone claiming walks the straight and narrow, just like everyone who works doesn’t! Yet, I still want to control my money whether I work or have benefit; I think that would be my right as an intelligent and educated person who has worked and contributed into the system!!! I am not a feckless individual, even if there are those out there who are! Why should decent people bear the brunt, as they are the people who will suffer; who won’t break the law to get more money, and they will struggle to survive.

I do feel the poverty situation is being ignored here too, as people on benefits aren’t the only ones in poverty. I know people who work, and are so overwhelmed by just paying their way because the cost of living is ever spiraling out of control. They can’t afford to eat, go on holidays, and buy expensive food and all the rest. Yet, I do know benefit claimants who can have those luxuries! So again how can we iron out all these contradictions from an entrenched and ineffective system, without the innocent and genuine suffering? How do we help everyone who needs help?

In addition, one of the most striking findings of the Demos ‘think tank’ survey was that 18-24-year-olds were one of the most likely age groups to call for government controls on how benefits are spent. Yet, these are the majority of people out of work in the UK. Plus only 2052 people were asked in the survey, not a gargantuan amount. How was the sample of participants chosen, where were they from; location and family background? Would be interesting to know.

Nothing in the UK social security/ benefit system is clear cut, therefore why should any of the decisions regarding its future be? Are those in power the right people to make the judgements? Surely those who live a real life need to have their say, before they are faced living their lives under some rule they then cannot change or influence.

Shameless; the true life of a benefit ‘scrounger’?

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

A Diary of A ‘Shallow Hal’

I have noticed that whenever kids receive presents they are always fascinated by the pretty, and elaborate packaging of the gifts. Colourful and ornate wrapping papers, ribbons and bows hold absolute obsession for them; they have no interest in the box the gifts are in, so preoccupied with the outer appearances they ignore the real gift inside. I got to thinking; are we still those children, only enamoured and preoccupied by the wrappings of people, and not interested in opening the box to discover the true beauty of the person within?

The human race seems to be fascinated with outer beauty and appearances, so much so that we seemingly cannot look beyond. What is beauty? Is it merely powder, paint and Photoshop or is there more to it than that?

After only a quick internet search it wasn’t long before I discovered articles, blogs, posts and so on, pertaining to physical manifestations of beauty. One such article discussed how women who are a size 14 and above are lost causes in the attractiveness scale, while another stated ordinary women are just not attractive sexually; another pondered the deep and meaningful question of why men settle for a second best woman, so on and so on. Others encouraged men to view potential partners on a 1-10 attractiveness scale; 7 being the cut off point for the dating factor! The site said, ‘if a 6 stops eating for a week she becomes a ‘7’, then she is maybe datable’. Therefore, no woman should be dated who ranks below a 7!

The story of ‘Shallow Hal’ seems to iterate this notion of beauty being the ‘b’ all and end all of the things we should seek in others. Shallow Hal is a man who refuses to see beauty in anyone else if they don’t fit into a stereotypical ideal of perfection, regardless of that person’s abilities and personality; until some kind of spell is cast, and then he meets his true love, a 300 pound woman. Surely everyone has seen this movie? Surely everyone knows someone who might be classed as a Shallow Hal? Do we all need that magical spell to prevent us from becoming him?
The message I found was that only outward appearances are considered or even quantified. Everything was focused on subjective opinions of beauty by those writing the articles, posts, blogs and whatever else! Who are these people doing the judging? I wonder what bad deal life has dealt them that they feel they have this axe to grind against people just being themselves, whatever the physical form! Maybe these people have never experienced a grown up and loving relationship, but with an attitude where they measure everyone against a scale of 1-10, I doubt anyone would come up to their expectations.

Who are any of us to really judge beauty/attractiveness when each person sees something different in the next? We are all different shapes, sizes and colours, we all have different facial features and quirks to bring something different into the gene pool, to be a match for someone out there. So then why are we obsessed with being attractive/ beautiful based on the point of view of someone else, or, based on the view of the fashion or beauty industry? We don’t know them and they don’t know us. If we aren’t happy within our own skin then how can anyone else be happy with us?!

What then is any relationship truly about; love or lust? Certainly everyone lusts, but how can anything of consequence sustain on lust? If we can’t value the person for the person, or if we all have to come with ribbons and bows like all children love, then surely the infatuation and fascination will eventually soon wear off; what is the point? In the end, without all the façade there is only us; why then are we so afraid of that truth coming to light?

If it is a case of us all desperately trying to ‘save face’ then what are we trying to prove to ourselves and one another? If a grown man or woman cannot accept a person for being themselves then maybe it is their own being they cannot truly accept, their own issues they have to deal with first; and to be honest they are better left alone until they do decide to sort themselves out. I personally don’t want a relationship with someone who sees beauty as a child would (obsessing on the pretty bows and ribbons), I want someone who sees me for me; even on my bad hair days! Face facts this is the real world not a TV sitcom, no one is perfect regardless of how they may appear to be, sorry to break the illusion, but surely you are old enough to know the truth by now!

Is this the real face of beauty?

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Hair Free Expectations.

By chance I read a blog by College Candy, entitled ‘Why This CC Writer Doesn’t Have Pubic Hair. The page discussed a topic which I didn’t realise could hold such fascination; to perform hair removal on the intimate feminine area or not.

Is it a question worth asking at all? I think the reasons behind asking such a question, and the reasons why performing hair removal is seen as the norm are definitely worth considering.

Does being hairy in that area make you less feminine, desirable or hygienic? Is hair free less ridiculed or shunned than being hairy? Isn’t hair removal just about personal choice, or is it a ‘must’ dictated by some societal norm?

Choice should be a personal matter; to be hairy or hair free is a woman’s own decision to make. However, what used to be beauty choices are now interwoven into the everyday good woman’s guide of how to maintain her-self. When there is a pressure to do something to conform to an accepted norm, then where is the freedom of choice?

This pressure to conform then takes the initial questions of hairy or hair free to a much deeper level than merely the topic itself. These questions can be applied to all aspects of self and society; especially people’s reactions to such pressure, and the perceptions of themselves. So how much of the beauty regime that women do, is because they choose to do it and want to do it? How much is done because women have a fear of being ridiculed?

Who decided these measures of beauty as a norm, who decreed these expectations? Who woke up one morning and thought, ‘You know what without the beauty industry I am nothing; Oh, and by the way I really must remove my body hair to be accepted’?  Maybe this is just about women’s expectations, their ideals gone out of control to an extent that it is driving all of this ‘beauty myth’ to new heights, or maybe men and sexual attraction are the culprits to blame?

To have sex, I suppose women have to be seen as attractive by the men of the world, but are men’s expectations of beauty always what women think they will be? Could it be women labour under false pretences, maybe to please a society of men who really couldn’t give a damn about all that beauty malarkey? No man would say, ‘Nope, I’m not having sex with you until you remove that pubic hair’, surely not? If that was the case then does a woman reply, ‘OK, I’m not having sex with you until you remove yours’?

If men do indeed frown upon a woman who doesn’t fulfil her ‘beauty duties’ then God help him if, and when he does secure a stable relationship. Life dictates that most women refrain from being slaves to the bathroom on a 24/7 basis; a girl has gotta work for a living too! What would a man do when he realises this, up and runaway to a woman who maybe does live by the rule of beauty alone? If the answer is yes, then is that man worth wasting yourself on?

Women aren’t merely dolls to be played with. A measure of a woman is surely more than her individual parts? Is she just hair, teeth, skin, nails, and features and so on? How sad it must be to believe you are only as good as what your make-up or hair looks like. In reality, if women did what the ‘beauty experts’ suggest they do to their bodies daily, then such exhausting routines would consume their lives and minds! Hell, no woman would be able to step outside without crippling anxiety that she isn’t worthy, just because she hasn’t done X or Y before walking down the street.

Yet, can this beauty obsession ever come to an end? Are we that reliant on it? What will the pilgrimage towards beauty insist upon next though? How far can the boundaries be pushed until women say; no more of this, this is me and deal with it. More importantly who are women changing themselves for; is it for individual benefit or for others? How can we be certain? If the reasons to change are so inextricably linked to society pressure and norms, then surely no-one can be 100% certain what motivates their choices and why.

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

50 Shades of ‘BORING’ Grey.

’50 Shades of Grey’, the new representation of ‘sexual liberation’. Am I the only one sick to death of this unoriginal and regurgitated story, that wouldn’t go amiss among the pages of the ‘Romantic’ Mills & Boons and Harlequin novels?

I am surrounded by adult women who have raved about the books as though they are better than life itself! They relate how enthralling they believe the content to be, so much so that I had to read this book, the first of the 50 Shades series, for myself.

I was duly misinformed. Erotic and highly graphic? Where was that then? I read it cover to cover looking for such ‘enthralling’ content only to be disappointed! I was not ‘thrilled’, and left with the distinct impression that Miss Steele was in fact ‘Bella’ from Twilight, and Mr Grey was an ‘Edward’ caricature. The only opposing difference is that Twilight is written for female teens, and 50 Shades in written for adult women.

What then has caused this run of mill romance novel, full of contradictions to become such an international phenomenon? I can only question the quality of sex lives these women lead, if such a book stimulates them. That might sound offensive, but it is my opinion!

The plot revolves around a naïve and subdued girl who can’t believe her luck that she has met a handsome, wealthy and dominant man who will save her, as without him she would wither and die an ‘old maid’. What is so sexy and stimulating about identifying with a character who feels inferior in comparison to such an ‘amazing’ male specimen? What is so erotic about that subjugation? What does that say about the women swooning off their sofas for such sad state of affairs?

Have women become so subdued in the bedroom that they don’t want to ensure they have a fulfilling sex life? Are they happy to merely make do with a second-rate novel about sex instead of the real deal?

What do you think?

See below article from Robert Weiss for consideration. Very interesting debate:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-weiss/women-and-pornography_b_1878449.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

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