Learning Gender Roles Via The BBC


The BBC have recently been accused of sexism with their remake of children’s classic Topsy and Tim.

It was claimed by parents that the BBC misinterpreted the original children stories, and chose instead to reinforce traditional gender stereotypes, which were being aimed at very young children. The charecter Tospy is a little girl who is seen baking princess cakes with her Mum, while her Brother Tim is informed baking is not for him. As a boy he can play outside on his bike or help his Dad with “mans work”.

I wondered, as I have on many occasions before, how do we learn our ‘gender roles’? Is it nature or nurture, and how can we be sure?

Thinking of my own childhood, I recall never being compelled by my parents to be particularly ‘girlie’, and naturally I wasn’t this way either. I was always encouraged to just be me, and perhaps by being a headstrong child who knew what I liked, pressures to be ‘girlie’ (if they existed), never affected me. I therefore feel surprised that in the 21st century children are still being encouraged to mimic, and reflect, what their own parents deem to be acceptable gender specific stereotypes. It just seems almost self defeating and rather odd.

Why would any parent force their child to be anything, and ruin their own child’s ability to blossom and develop naturally, free of preconceived ideals laid down throughout the eons?!

What is so terrible about girls playing with cars and bikes, and boys playing with kitchens and dolls? Surely having diverse skills and interests make for more rounded and capable future adults?

I know if I had children, I would indeed encourage them to be them; who else can they be after all!

Don’t get me wrong, their is nothing wrong with traditional gender roles, if those people performing those roles are happy enough to do so. Yet, there is nothing wrong with mixing it up either!

Living in Madrid I see many more examples of the conventional family unit than I do in the UK. The wife cooks, cleans, takes care of the house and kids, while the man works, is head of the household, applies the discipline and often the education of the kids. This is almost expected and seen as the social norm.

Now my household has never been quite like this, to the surprise of the people I meet in Spain. People are shocked that I am interested in politics, and also that my degree, career and writing all have a political grounding. I have actually been told how unusual it is for a girl! Obviously they haven’t heard of Emily Pankhurst, Simone de Beauvoir, Eleanor Roosevelt, Margaret Thatcher, Naomi Wolf and Hilary Clinton; what about Eva Perón?

For me, applying any expectations upon a person, especially at a young and impressionable age, just becomes a simple case of the self fulfilling prophecy. You get what you expect. Women and men then become merely caricatures of their gender, nothing more than that! How can we then argue they are naturally as they should be?

Have women actually been able or allowed to genuinely break through that “glass ceiling”? Not if the 21st centuries depiction of gender is the reference point; a woman’s place is still at home, while the man still belongs to the world. This has to be true, the BBC even think so!

To be serious, in recent years it has been a giant step backwards for men and women alike. Adverts, marketing, media and society in general have peddled the over sexualisation of the younger generation. This has drip fed a generation with gender specific notions of beauty, relationships, sex and availability, youth, frivolousness, self obsession, celebrity culture, diets, gossip, fashion and materialism.

So, maybe reverting to the stereotypical gender roles is only the natural step forward from this re-education?

For me I feel it is difficult to distinguish, and therefore state concretely, how much of nature actually plays a part in a child’s socialisation, self perception and development. Especially with all the dross floating around their environment.

Think about how difficult it is for us as adults to really separate ourselves, and our choices from all the expectations applied upon us, what we have seen, learnt, experienced and absorbed into our psyche?

If it is so difficult for us as adults, the question then remains; how can a child?

Nature v’s nurture, for me there is no real contest to contest!

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You Can’t Handle The Truth!


Laying it all bare, for the world to see, dropping the pretence, the charade?

I agree with being honest. Just being free enough to say this is me, this is it, these are my feelings and so on; but most people don’t want honesty. In fact studies show we don’t even want honesty ourselves; our own unconscious brain dictates that. Under tests participants have proven to blatantly ignore truthful facts if they are detrimental to them as humans. It seems lies are a human fundamental, a defence mechanism; part of something ancient that remains within us all.

So basically, when we are faced with the harsh truth, our minds deny it so we as a species can carry on living. Maybe without those lies we tell ourselves daily we’d never get up in the mornings?!

If we saw the real truth all the time we might decide to merely curl up and die, because the truth often is grimmer than the reality we think we know and see around us.

Lets face it the truth can be detrimental, examples; chances of getting cancer in your lifetime, chances of dying of a heart attack, likelihood of divorce, chances of being cheated on, murder, becoming homeless, being bankrupt, unemployed or never fulfilling a life’s dream. In short it takes away hope, and no one wants to admit that whatever they are doing could cause themselves harm in the long run.

Truth when applied to some situations merely deprives us of the remotest possibility that everything will be OK. Regardless of the adversity and the odds that are against us, we all hope everything will be OK in the end.

As people we are therefore used to being tricksters, excellent at concealing the truth even within ourselves. We have our reasons no doubt, does it always have to be because we have a hidden agenda or can’t face up to reality? Aren’t some things best left to the imagination or indeed left unsaid?

If we could always see and hear the truth would we choose to? Could everyone cope with seeing behind the veil of everyone’s reality or the world’s for that matter; no I don’t think we all could. I understand there are some things that need to be revealed as truth, but it is doubtful that everything truthful would be received as a ‘blessing’, because people are used to a life in the dark; and there are some truths that might be out of our comprehension.

Maybe then living a half lie is OK?

Perhaps so, as not every lie is meant to be harmful.

We as people should be able to choose what part of life we want to see as a harsh reality, and that which we choose not to; and what pieces of our own psyche we conceal and that which we don’t (it is our prerogatives as humans). After all no one knows anyone or anything 100%; we and everything around us are based on opinions (how we perceive ourselves, others and the world). Who’s truth is correct? Some people don’t even know themselves 100%; so how can they fathom out any lies inside themselves, how can they know what they are seeing in the world is a lie or the truth?

What is the truth anyway? Isn’t it relative to the situation, person, place, time and so on? Perhaps one person’s lie is merely another persons truth?

What do you think? Please leave me some food for thought!!!!

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© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.