Body beautiful | The Savvy Senorita

I have noticed that whenever kids receive presents they are always fascinated by the pretty, and elaborate packaging of the gifts. Colourful and ornate wrapping papers, ribbons and bows hold absolute obsession for them; they have no interest in the box the gifts are in, so preoccupied with the outer appearances they ignore the real gift inside. I got to thinking; are we still those children, only enamoured and preoccupied by the wrappings of people, and not interested in opening the box to discover the true beauty of the person within?

The human race seems to be fascinated with outer beauty and appearances, so much so that we seemingly cannot look beyond. What is beauty? Is it merely powder, paint and Photoshop or is there more to it than that?

After only a quick internet search it wasn’t long before I discovered articles, blogs, posts and so on, pertaining to physical manifestations of beauty. One such article discussed how women who are a size 14 and above are lost causes in the attractiveness scale, while another stated ordinary women are just not attractive sexually; another pondered the deep and meaningful question of why men settle for a second best woman, so on and so on. Others encouraged men to view potential partners on a 1-10 attractiveness scale; 7 being the cut off point for the dating factor! The site said, ‘if a 6 stops eating for a week she becomes a ‘7’, then she is maybe datable’. Therefore, no woman should be dated who ranks below a 7!

The story of ‘Shallow Hal’ seems to iterate this notion of beauty being the ‘b’ all and end all of the things we should seek in others. Shallow Hal is a man who refuses to see beauty in anyone else if they don’t fit into a stereotypical ideal of perfection, regardless of that person’s abilities and personality; until some kind of spell is cast, and then he meets his true love, a 300 pound woman. Surely everyone has seen this movie? Surely everyone knows someone who might be classed as a Shallow Hal? Do we all need that magical spell to prevent us from becoming him?
The message I found was that only outward appearances are considered or even quantified. Everything was focused on subjective opinions of beauty by those writing the articles, posts, blogs and whatever else! Who are these people doing the judging? I wonder what bad deal life has dealt them that they feel they have this axe to grind against people just being themselves, whatever the physical form! Maybe these people have never experienced a grown up and loving relationship, but with an attitude where they measure everyone against a scale of 1-10, I doubt anyone would come up to their expectations.

Who are any of us to really judge beauty/attractiveness when each person sees something different in the next? We are all different shapes, sizes and colours, we all have different facial features and quirks to bring something different into the gene pool, to be a match for someone out there. So then why are we obsessed with being attractive/ beautiful based on the point of view of someone else, or, based on the view of the fashion or beauty industry? We don’t know them and they don’t know us. If we aren’t happy within our own skin then how can anyone else be happy with us?!

What then is any relationship truly about; love or lust? Certainly everyone lusts, but how can anything of consequence sustain on lust? If we can’t value the person for the person, or if we all have to come with ribbons and bows like all children love, then surely the infatuation and fascination will eventually soon wear off; what is the point? In the end, without all the façade there is only us; why then are we so afraid of that truth coming to light?

If it is a case of us all desperately trying to ‘save face’ then what are we trying to prove to ourselves and one another? If a grown man or woman cannot accept a person for being themselves then maybe it is their own being they cannot truly accept, their own issues they have to deal with first; and to be honest they are better left alone until they do decide to sort themselves out. I personally don’t want a relationship with someone who sees beauty as a child would (obsessing on the pretty bows and ribbons), I want someone who sees me for me; even on my bad hair days! Face facts this is the real world not a TV sitcom, no one is perfect regardless of how they may appear to be, sorry to break the illusion, but surely you are old enough to know the truth by now!

Is this the real face of beauty?

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OK, this post is going to seem like an inconsequential moan to some, so I duly apologise forthwith to those who may consider the latter to be true.

From the moment I woke up this morning I found everything a struggle. It was as though everything was fighting against me, in fact just now I was in the middle of completing this very post and my laptop decided to complete updates and re-start, and I hadn’t saved any of my work, doh!!!!!! Everything has been, well, I can’t find the words exactly; it has just been a chore I have no patience for!

This morning has just been one of those bad starts to a day. I feel not quite at one with myself at all, uncomfortable from the inside out. I began to think about the daily ‘beauty’ routines we go through, well, what us women go through, just as I was attempting to complete mine. I must admit I was becoming extremely peeved as I finished doing what was needed to my way-ward body! Nothing was as I wanted it to be, and I thought, ‘You know what, right now I’d trade places with a man in a heartbeat’.

I do not negate the fact that I am fit and in good health, which I thank God for, yet, today like on many occasions before, I just felt at odds with myself and nothing could ease my mind.

As a woman I tend to see my body as a chore, because as women we give ourselves lots of work to do, and that work revolves around making ourselves feel and look good. The list of ‘to dos’ can be exhaustive and never ending! Shaving and waxing, plucking, cutting, trimming, washing hair, drying hair, straightening hair, curling hair, applying dye to hair, styling hair, applying facial moisturisers, applying make-up, covering facial flaws like lines and wrinkles, body moisturising, cleansing, toning, removal of make-up, applying fake nails or eyelashes, painting nails, exfoliating, battling cellulite, applying fake tan, exercise, dieting, buying endless outfits and accessories, and shoes!

I know this isn’t the end of the world, but it is part of a woman’s world, and it is boring and time consuming; there are better things to think of and do! I also am aware that the above activities might not be completed by every woman, I myself don’t do it all, but it frightens me to think that this list of what needs to be done seems to only increase with age. That alone is enough to exasperate me!

Every year I notice something different, something else I will add to my list to attend to, because I like to make the most of the skin and body I’m in. I’m not obsessed with image alone, but I feel if I don’t do X or Y then I’m failing myself. OK, I don’t buy into beauty myth of miracle products, nothing is a miracle cure, but whether I use Tesco cheap or Roc Retinol I wouldn’t go a day without moisturising. All these ‘to dos’ are often passed down from Grand-Mother to Mother to Daughter; no generation escapes unscathed!

I also feel women go through so many changes, internally and externally. Of course there are our Periods; a monthly change that to be honest I wish the female of the species didn’t have to endure any longer. I say endure, because again as a woman gets older these things become even more of a chore, a nuisance; they become more difficult physically and mentally. It is the hormones that annoy me most; ever fluctuating throughout the month, one day I wake up myself, and the next I am somebody else. Angry, upset, depressed, unenthused and feeling out of sorts with everything, yes, and spotty. It can only be a Period day (or soon to be). It is something I look forward to every month; yes, just to know I’m not pregnant!

This may seem like a topic no-one should discuss, but to be honest I don’t think women talk enough about how much of encumbrance being a woman can be. Who in their right mind would envy being a woman?

After the Periods are finished, a woman then has the Menopause to look forward to; aching and brittle bones, no libido, hot flushes and sweating, sleep disturbance, even more psychological changes, physical changes such as bladder issues, weight gain, increased body and facial hair, strokes and heart attacks. This can happen anytime from your 30’s to your 60’s, oh the joy!

So you get over one change (Periods) to be saddled with another! What women battle all their lives to prevent then comes back full force to haunt them! Yes, I am on a downer about it, I suppose most of the time no-one thinks of it as harsh, but then just because it is natural doesn’t mean it’s fair. Why is it only women go through this nonsense?

Men; what changes do they go through so regularly that it can impede and effect their lives? Ummm, nothing springs to mind. They shave their faces, so what some women have to do that too, and it can create extraordinary psychological issues for them. Men sometimes crave a perfect body and honed abs, so what women do too! In fact, most men I know just get up, get showered, get dressed and go out of the house without one concern about the spot on their nose, or the state of their hair or their beard or even their beer bellies. Women however are a different and complex kettle of fish, and again I wish I wasn’t! I repeat; I would in a heartbeat trade places to be like a man, and feel unburdened by a body that constantly rebels month in and month out!

So, I am not going to ask the Lord to buy me a Mercedes Benz, as Janis Joplin once did, I am going ask for peace of mind and reprieve; for one month of being able to be carefree about myself and my body hang-ups. That ladies, for me, is worth all the tea in China and all the Gold in the world.

Inconsequential moan now officially over, thank you for reading!

What are your thoughts; women especially? I would be interested to know how you feel about your bodies, your Periods, body maintenance (chore or not) and the Menopause.

Leave all comments below.

Below: bad hair day – not the worst that can happen!