A Desire……..

Give me Dorian Grey instead of Christian Grey any-day of the week.

Is the Grass EVER Greener?

I returned to the UK a couple of weeks back, and during this trip I arranged to meet up with two friends I hadn’t seen in a long while. My friend had booked a lovely restaurant and we planned a true ‘girl’s night out’. After we had gladly made our first Vodka toast of the night, talk turned to less lighter topics.

It was during this conversation that I soon discovered the reasons why one of my friends had decided to leave her husband.

When I had initially met my friend through work, she had a luxury lifestyle. Her and her Husband both had excellent jobs, a wonderful house and fabulous cars; they took exotic holidays four times a year, and had no real money or other worries to complain of. Or, so was the impression she gave. It was a short while after this time that my friend left all of this lifestyle behind. The reason behind such a decision was because her Husband was too distant, and in her words ‘didn’t notice’ she was there. The man she consequently left him for had noticed she was there, and that was the ingredient she felt had been sorely missing in her marital relationship.

Now she had seen that the grass was greener, she didn’t hesitate to follow her heart and leave. Only she hadn’t anticipated that the decision to leave her Husband, and move in with her new love would not be quite as she expected it would be.

Soon enough the new situation, and new man, turned sour. The once secure and sensible woman didn’t metamorphize into a fulfilled individual as she hoped to become, but instead into a lonely, depressed and abused woman. The new man used her for money, took drugs and beat her; but she had made her choice, and as the rut grew around her she believed there was no escape.

It took two years for her to gain the motivation, courage and confidence to leave, and through this time she began to realise her mistakes. Leaving her Husband hadn’t been the solution to her problems; suddenly she saw how good her life had been, because that life was now lost to her.

‘The grass is greener’, twice my friend succumbed to this; leaving her Husband, and then again when she realised the loss of a past life she had not fully seen or appreciated.

Why do people do this time and time again? It takes the loss of, sometimes, everything, to realise what they had. What drives that impulse to desire, covet or pursue something they deem denied to them? Is it a case of be careful what you wish for? Does every person who decides to take such a drastic leap into that field of greener grass end up regretting their actions? Or is this more about an individual than a situation; the issues are within them and not on the outside?

Is the grass ever truly greener?

Or, is it greener?

Take a look at this link below for Psychological answers to the question:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/headshrinkers-guide-the-galaxy/201107/mythbusters-the-grass-is-not-always-greener-the-other-sid

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

50 Shades of ‘BORING’ Grey.

’50 Shades of Grey’, the new representation of ‘sexual liberation’. Am I the only one sick to death of this unoriginal and regurgitated story, that wouldn’t go amiss among the pages of the ‘Romantic’ Mills & Boons and Harlequin novels?

I am surrounded by adult women who have raved about the books as though they are better than life itself! They relate how enthralling they believe the content to be, so much so that I had to read this book, the first of the 50 Shades series, for myself.

I was duly misinformed. Erotic and highly graphic? Where was that then? I read it cover to cover looking for such ‘enthralling’ content only to be disappointed! I was not ‘thrilled’, and left with the distinct impression that Miss Steele was in fact ‘Bella’ from Twilight, and Mr Grey was an ‘Edward’ caricature. The only opposing difference is that Twilight is written for female teens, and 50 Shades in written for adult women.

What then has caused this run of mill romance novel, full of contradictions to become such an international phenomenon? I can only question the quality of sex lives these women lead, if such a book stimulates them. That might sound offensive, but it is my opinion!

The plot revolves around a naïve and subdued girl who can’t believe her luck that she has met a handsome, wealthy and dominant man who will save her, as without him she would wither and die an ‘old maid’. What is so sexy and stimulating about identifying with a character who feels inferior in comparison to such an ‘amazing’ male specimen? What is so erotic about that subjugation? What does that say about the women swooning off their sofas for such sad state of affairs?

Have women become so subdued in the bedroom that they don’t want to ensure they have a fulfilling sex life? Are they happy to merely make do with a second-rate novel about sex instead of the real deal?

What do you think?

See below article from Robert Weiss for consideration. Very interesting debate:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/robert-weiss/women-and-pornography_b_1878449.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false

Copy Right Notice:
© Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita, 2012. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Bex Houghagen and The Savvy Senorita with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.