It is a very normal and accepted state of affairs; the older man and the younger woman. These relationships are so common place they have become a cliche. Yet, when the reverse is considered; an older woman and a younger man people seem to be sickened by the very idea.
What is good for the goose is good for the gander, or so I’ve been told. So I ask myself; what makes us sit in judgement over a woman doing what she wants with whomever she wants to do it with (in a literal sense)?
Attraction, and even love aren’t always formulated from what we as individuals may perceive to be ideal. We all have different tastes and desires after all, because by our very nature or nurture, we are all different. Whether it be older men, younger women, older women and younger men, who really cares or more importantly why should we care? After all, it isn’t our business and it isn’t our life!
What I find I dislike most when I hear of or see other people’s reactions to an older women and younger man’s relationship, is that the older woman is so highly disapproved of. Almost as though once a woman is passed thirty it is game over!
Perhaps the reason for this is because once a woman passes thirty she is suddenly deemed unworthy of gaining love, affection and sex from anyone, especially a younger man? Could this be because she is considered to be well passed her prime functions of; marriage material, a baby making machine or sex goddess? If so I wonder whose biological clock (and just to let you know I hate this phrase), is actually ticking?
If we are all attracted to one another based on those three options we are making a rod for our own backs.
I find this aversion to older women and younger men to be contradictory, and quite sad actually. I say this not just because I am a woman either. There are so many intelligent, talented, beautiful and successful women out there, passed thirty, forty or even fifty. They still have their whole life to live. Yet, society insists on forcing these independent, fierce and capable beings into small and restrictive boxes, dictating what they should and shouldn’t be doing.
Isn’t it about time these boxes were crushed under these women’s designer heels?
I for one believe that; no longer should the soft top sports car be the preferred babe hunting vehicle of men only, it isn’t desperate to want to pay for your man’s designer suit, it isn’t unladylike or shocking to appreciate a younger physique, especially one that sports a six pack.
Basically, for anyone still in doubt; it isn’t wrong or disgusting to find someone attractive who is younger or older than you are, and it isn’t wrong or disgusting to find their success, money or experience attractive too!
I say; let us live and let live!
I’ve always thought women, men, even children become far more interesting once they pass the age of thirty. Women improve, men regress; children stay children of course, as do some of the men…
My other is eight years older than myself; maybe seven – no less than six. Never underestimate ‘interesting’ as an aphrodisiac, though I’m a sucker for smarts – I still have intellectual crushes. penguins on my screen-saver…
This is a no-brainer theme – though I think I’ve miss-placed the theme: if you get what I mean? Does it really matter?
Thanks for your comment! I completely understand where you are coming from with your very thoughtful and interesting response. Age certainly doesn’t matter at all, but if only we all felt the same way!! It seems that creating a label for one another is something we as humans can’t stop ourselves from doing!
Well … everything must be qualitative [it doesn’t, but OK] these days … waiting times, queues, league tables, performance [how would you rate this performance], thumbs up or down…
Life ain’t like that though. And it’s not even labels that are they problem, nor stereotypes – I can’t remember when they started getting such a bad image – there’s a whole cultural model that needs a publicist – without labels and the like we’d be gibbering wrecks, so overwhelmed with consciousness, it’d be as though our last experiences are our first, over and over…
I’ve thought about this – it would explain why time appears to go so quickly the older you get: not the label thing, but a sub-set of thought…
Starting your first birthday, because we started with age – and because, why not… When you’re one, you’ve had 100% of every experience you’ll ever have; when you’re two, you’ll have had a half; three – you’ll have had a third … and so on and so forth, until your new experiences become a smaller and smaller proportion of anything new. Because, new things require energy: we metabolise energy in the brain at a far greater rate do something unfamiliar as we do otherwise … it’s why I’d ban Comic Sans in schools unless it’s used for very specific tasks…
The point? Well, it’s interesting … desired complexity, yeah it’s thing.
You’ve probably another 10 or 15 years before you’re even in your prime. Plenty of time to figure it out.
Check out Mark Mason’s The Importance of Being Trivial (p202-p210ish) next time you’re in a bookshop
Agreed fully. It’s a weird double standard, and it’s got to go. The person matters, not their age. Love is blind, right? And it’s ageless. Been around forever, and very old itself…
I completely agree Trent. Love is blind and ageless, and has no barriers or rules! Thanks for reading and commenting, I appreciate it!
There is much to loathe about Brazil, much to love, too, but one thing I really do appreciate here is the cultures total disregard for age. Some of the sexiest women I have ever seen have been in their 50’s here. Sexuality does not stop, it just evolves, and that’s to be celebrated.
Older woman? Who cares!
Then Brasil seems to have the right outlook on age! I agree, and feel that sexuality or being sexy has no age barriers. It is a shame that there aren’t more people who feel the same as you. Thanks for reading John and for commenting, I appreciate it!
Hey Bex, good to read a full feature post of yours again. I missed that. On the topic: I actually find it odd that often women preferred men with more “experience” than them, even though age can’t simply be equated with experience – especially sexual experience. Older women are good at educating young men in how better to please women, because young men don’t have the arrogance of experience, while older women are often more confident and assertive than young women. When I was younger, grownups would frequently jest about the analogy of learning to ride on old horses and learning to fuck, because I always was more attractive to women who could appreciate my intelligence and character, whence young women were not interested, because frankly, I never was, and never will be, pretty.
Thanks NicoLite, and I am sorry you have been missing my full feature posts. I truly appreciate you stating that fact though! I believe there are merits to age gap relationships, and it doesn’t necessarily have to focus on the sex. I know sex is often an important factor in any relationship, but I also feel that life experience and skills, confidence, networks, personality, opinions and knowledge/wisdom are more beneficial. Sexual attraction is great, but without the full package relationships just don’t fully function on all levels. I understand that some younger people can be superficial, and they see appearance as a qualifying factor to begin a relationship. Yet, in such a case those people are certainly not meant for the long haul. Some people unfortunately, do not value others. They put great emphasis on outward appearances, and forget what is actually on the inside. They then wonder why they have such an unsuccessful love life, perhaps because they are shallow and too obsessed with all that glitters being gold?! Thanks for reading and for commenting 🙂