Yesterday I was talking to an old friend of mine, who was retelling how bad things have been recently for her. She has been somewhat distraught of late. Her financial situation has altered dramatically, causing her confusion and uncertainty, but the worst blow and most unexpected was the fact that the people she thought were her closet friends, weren’t.
Let me explain; my friend has always had money. She came from money and went on to have a good job, with money, and she had a good life, and a social life that comes with having such money. Now though, things aren’t what they were for my friend. In fact, her financial circumstances have been severely reduced, and now all she can share with her friends is friendship.
Which is fine for me as her oldest friend, always has been. My old friend may have been wealthy, but that was not something I considered a relevant factor in our friendship. I always saw her as a kind, considerate and loving individual, who would help anyone and never think of being repaid for it. She is and always was a true friend.
But, with her cash flow now disappeared, these ‘true friends’ have also. The ‘true friends’ who shared in her wealthy lifestyle, the ‘true friends’ who my oldest friend never before had to doubt or question, not until now. Now she can only give of herself and not of her wallet, these ‘true friends’ have gone. Her friendship was not what they wanted.
So, the money has gone, and with it, for my friend, it seems that the love of friendship has gone also.
I therefore am left asking; is love, genuine love, so undervalued between people? Is all that glitters gold?
I am left wondering; is money the only thing worth sharing with others?
Money is the most materialistic base we can measure one another upon, I mean there are many others aren’t there, but money is for most people THE most important factor to measure people upon. Especially when it comes to relationships.
What do we value most in our relationships – is it what we do for others or what they do for us? How do we set up the parameters within our relationships – is it selfish or selfless? How do we decide what we will accept, demand, want, desire and need between ourselves – our expectations and no one else’s?
We all know the story, glamorous and beautiful young women dating a shrivelled up old man. The woman does this for LOVE?? Or does she do it because she likes the old man’s personality?? No, its for her DESIRE of that man. Or, is it merely for materialistic reasons, because that old man has MONEY?!
We sell ourself for cash everyday in every way, so why would selling love or friendship or interest or whatever else be any different, it isn’t. So, it isn’t a surprise to know there are people in the world who view money or materialism as the most important factor in their life. Although it is quite sad.
Whether we are men & women, children & parents, families & friends, money or materialism makes our worlds rotate, balance evenly and keep afloat.
More specifically, relationships are bonds set up with or based upon what we can give to one another; incentives to make people love us, to please and appease.
Parents want their children to get good grades, succeed at football or play the flute, get good jobs and marry well. They are then proud to love their kids.
Children want a new bike, computer, iPhone, that holiday in Florida, their friends over for tea, the latest designer shoes. Then they tell you they love you.
Partners want a bigger car, a house on a new estate, a holiday in the sun, they need promotions and relocations to here there and everywhere. Then they profess to love one another.
Friends want to go out, prosper, buy things they don’t need, drink, socialise have fun, forget themselves in some exotic far flung location and be young and fabulous on a beach with people they will never see again. Then they say they are friends.
Relationships are materialistic in one way or another.
So I suppose my main point, the point I have diverged a little from, is just this; can there be such a thing as unconditional love in these times of the mass materialism of relationships?
Is love, the real, undying, profound and all consuming variety a lie told to us as children, fresh from some fairy-tale or another?
I hope not, well, in fact I know it is not. I know love, and feel sorry for those who actually prefer materialism in its stead.
Because, when the money or the materialism of relationships has gone, what else is left?? Maybe it is that dying concept formerly known as love!!! Yes, it is and who knew!!!! Without love the world is an empty place to be.
But, after all I have written here I won’t despair because of the lack of love in the world, and between people, well, not quite yet. I will keep hoping we don’t all become so mercenary that we choose to seek materialism over love. I will keep hoping we don’t become so blind and heartless that we close ourselves to the prospect of real love in all its forms. I will keep hoping we never forget that love is rarer and more precious than any booming bank account, any far flung holiday, any round of drinks in a posh hotel, any new car, any good grades, any fantastic job and wardrobe of designer clothes.