How was New Years Eve?? Did you have fun and celebrate in style?? Then, when the clock struck 12:00 you beat yourself up for allowing you, and your life, to be such a failure during the past year?? Did you then vow to stick to your new year resolutions, the resolutions that would ensure that in 2014 you become a better person???
I know New Years Eve can be a strange time. It can often spark melancholy, regret, reflecting on all kinds of good and bad experiences and emotions. We all reconsider what the past year brought us, and how we lived our lives. Can this reflection help us in the new year to come though??? Can regret ever be healthy?
I am not going to tell you to make resolutions or not make them. I’m not going say that 2014 will be your year, that you have the power to transform and achieve. Personally I don’t get all that. I see all of that as negative life assassination, and unnecessary pressure. It is assuming that with the new year we will suddenly all transform and morph into wonder women or men. In 2014 we will definitely be destined to become another person, a wonderful person, in fact a person you were probably never actually meant to be.
Resolutions are very like false promises.
Why is it we always allow ourselves to perceive that the previous year was a failure, a let down, we didn’t perform and weren’t good enough? Isn’t that really what the notion of resolutions allude to – we are all failures, and therefore are required to modify and rectify that at all cost? Why can’t we just be us, and not need to change a thing?
Isn’t the notion of changing, of morphing, of transforming just a little bit delusional?? Just because it is a new year doesn’t mean anything has fundamentally changed. We are still, by virtue of our genetics, who we were upon birth; we haven’t grown extra limbs or suddenly become impervious to disease. We can’t shrug off the past; we all have our individual life experiences, thoughts, ideas, desires and so on.
Why is it with a new year we then become washed clean??
Or, more importantly, why do we want to be??
Isn’t life, from one year to the next, merely about the experiences we have and share, the learning curve, the path we travel, the thoughts and desires, hopes and dreams we harbour?
Isn’t life about those things??
To say we can be transformed, and washed clean assumes that we can all be famous artists, discover the cure for cancer, travel into space, be elected to Government, be an Olympian or whatever else! We are, most of us, normal folk with normal lives – average wages, children, mortgages and wrinkles. No amount of new years will ever change that either!!! We will never really transform.
So, why torture ourselves with pie in the sky -‘this year will be different’ – NO IT WON’T BE!!!!
Sorry, I get that positive thinking and hope are a great combination to have on your side in life, and I do adopt their principles as much as I can. However, I am also a realist and a little sceptical. I wonder how much we can actually change, transform, morph, and wonder if we really want to? If we don’t achieve, create, progress, succeed, dominate and control (or whatever!!!!) why is it seen so negatively? Why is it we can’t be just satisfied with being us?
This year I’m not going to become a millionaire, a success or even a glamour model who adorns the covers of popular magazines. I know that isn’t going to be what 2014 has in store for me.
I know it’ll be more of the same; living day to day, trying to survive, building relationships, trying to maintain motivation, good health and keeping some faith in me and what I want; basically boring stuff, not very inspiring or exciting!!! So, doesn’t matter how much I wish for miracles, money, fame and whatever else, it doesn’t mean it will come to fruition!!
I can make a million resolutions, but it doesn’t mean I can or will fundamentally change!
I’m just trying to say; be real, be kind to yourself and stop applying the pressure to be what you’re not. ALSO, stop viewing you and your life as a failure thus far, see your life as experience and a journey (which won’t be over, until it is over, and your six foot under). Stop stalling with resolutions and waiting for another new year to come and go; live without military precision, live and have fun amassing experiences to reflect on, not to feel negative and guilty about!
Live your life now, while it is here, and see what it brings you! All the ups and downs are welcome, it is life and you can’t just pick and choose the best bits and edit the rest, it isn’t a script after all!
Let 2014 be what it will be – life as we know it!
I was working as a live in carers in a country house in hertfordshire. we celebrated with cocktails of dandelion and burdock smoothies and some lindt chocolates, which were divine! bizarre choice but that was all we had available!
Sounds interesting! As long as it was fun, that is all that counts!
“I’m just trying to say; be real, be kind to yourself and stop applying the pressure to be what you’re not. ALSO, stop viewing you and your life as a failure thus far, see your life as experience and a journey (which won’t be over, until it is over, and your six foot under). Stop stalling with resolutions and waiting for another new year to come and go; live without military precision, live and have fun amassing experiences to reflect on, not to feel negative and guilty about!”
Bex, there is not much more to be said other than make sure you follow your own advice! Happy New Year.
Yes, but I have never been one to follow my own ‘advice’! Happy New Year to you also!
Couldn’t have said it better!
Thanks Nina, appreciate that 🙂
Well it’s true 🙂
Thank you, it is kind of you 🙂
Am totally with you there! May you always have all that you strive for. 🙂
Thanks, you too 🙂
Good solid “savvy” sense.
Happy New Year! I hear you and I completely agree. We really don’t need resolutions to live our life. I am still filled with hope for the new year. It feels like a new beginning, at least for the first couple of weeks, right? Cheers!
Thanks for your comment! Yes, that is it completely! I think, no, I know that I’m less hopeful about 2014 than other people might be. Mainly as I am not looking forward to this year at all!!!!! Hence the touch of pessimism in my post!!! Happy New Year to you though, and I do wish you well with all your writing endeavours!!
For me, resolutions for change come from going places and meeting people. Coincidentally, I went to Berlin for the New Year’s celebrations, and made a new resolution: to sing more. It doesn’t sound like a big resolution, but singing makes me happy, and since I’m not all too shabby at it, it also makes other people happy.
Ha well your resolution doesn’t sound so terrible to me. What gets me confused is why people pressure themselves to achieve more than they know possible, and then are happy to feel failures when they can’t meet their unrealistic goals. Resolutions to meet people, go to more places and sing, are achievable and can bring more, not less happiness. So, enjoy your singing!!
Ramen to that!