Home » Society: Norms & Expectations » Bank Of Mum And Dad

Bank Of Mum And Dad


Image by: cowanglobal.com

Image by: cowanglobal.com

To include a suggestion made by PK Read at champagnewhisky.com, on the direction of my blog; I thought I’d begin this post by providing you an insight into what set this idea whirling around my mind in the first place.

When I was in college, and then university, I looked about myself and saw those students with the flash cars and the latest mobile phones. I wondered how they afforded such luxuries, until I learnt their secret.

These students had at their disposal their parent’s bank accounts; to pay their rent, buy their food and pay their bills as well as credit card bills too. I literally was aghast.

You see I didn’t have that, nor did I expect that. My parents ethos was work, and learn the meaning of money; it was a ‘you can’t get anything for nothing’ type of attitude. So, I worked and studied. I also learnt more than the lessons I attended taught me; life isn’t served up just to my specific taste at a click of my eager fingers. I learnt that what I wanted I had to work for, and to take responsibility for myself and my life.

Yet, so many ‘kids’ out there never learn this. In essence, they never grow up, they are the Peter Pan’s of society. Well, as far as facing the real world doldrums of paying your own way goes, and not to mention taking responsibility for yourself.

Also, I noticed these ‘kids’ attitudes towards material goods. How to have something which was worked for, was not valued and was seen as insignificant. The reason for this, well they had what they wanted when they wanted it, and didn’t need to value anything. So me driving my ‘vintage’ VW wasn’t to their discerning and expensive tastes; at least I owned my own car, and paid my own way. Something I’m certain they would have died of shock doing!

So, having left college, university and then beginning to working full time, I soon met other ‘kids’. These people although they worked, they were young enough to be in college or university – and yet, they still had this reliance on their Mum and Dad.

WHY??

Well, they claimed it was just too expensive to detach themselves from the proverbial apron strings; rent. mortgages, utility bills, food and so on, breaks their meagre bank. Their parent’s help supplement these poor strapped for cash individuals; who, let me add, were on good wages for singletons, with no kids and no house to run!!!!

In fact this still goes on now. I hear people I know comment on how their siblings or even their own children can’t afford to move out, to claim their own independence. Well, I have a different take on the reason they are still bleeding their families dry, and it goes like this…………………

People, young people, can’t afford to move out of their parent’s house, ummmm, probably because they prefer to squander all their wages on a ‘champagne lifestyle’.

These young people opt , instead of fledging the nest, to book their next expensive holiday on some sun kissed island, where the only prices that will bother them are those of the cocktails they purchase!

They say, ‘rent and mortgages are too expensive for me’ (in a whiny voice). Well yes, they can be, but so to can brand new cars, fake tans, hair extensions, jewellery, acrylic nails, nights out in clubs, new clothes, cigarettes, drugs and plastic surgery (yes, this too is on the menu)!

So, maybe the £500 plus a month wasted on their own lavishness, could indeed be spent on moving away from Mum and Dad, and paying for those oh so tiresome domestic bills, before they reach 40!

Or maybe those diamond encrusted iPhone cases are something they can’t live without, or maybe they can, if they had to. If they were given a theoretical kick up the bottom by the parents in question!

Now, I’m not suggesting young people don’t spend their money, I for one know I have spent, or squandered,  a fair share of my own; but then I did move out in my 20’s! I know of people who are in their 30’s and still wasting their money on booze and Ibiza boat trips, and they have the cheek to moan about being strapped for cash!

When will they learn that money, some money, is better in the bank than in a beer bottle?

Money savvy counts. I feel now, more than ever, this is going amiss in the world. Everyone tends to forget about it or doesn’t value what they have. They are under the false illusion that money is another ‘never ending resource’ like coal or gas, and even if they run out of it, Mum and Dad will provide what they need.

Money it seems does in fact grow on trees now, well I never!!!

Money is no longer worked for, accrued  earned, gained. Money is given gratis, courtesy of the Mum and Dad’s across the world, to the children that cling ever longer to their coat tails.

These young people now get fed the milk and honey of a never ending stream of money.

When will the hand outs stop? How old must these ‘kids’ become??

I understand love, care, concern and support – but when does this just become a bad joke? How can anyone differentiate between this, and being used and abused by the very individuals they gave life to?

When is the line crossed?  When will enough, be enough?

When do parents reclaim their own lives and say, that is it, no more?

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8 thoughts on “Bank Of Mum And Dad

    • I see the kids in your post do nothing – yes, that is a familiar tale. As I have said in my post – one told the world over. The bank of Mum and Dad always exists somewhere!!

  1. You make some good points. I’m amazed that the cost of “maintenance” is so high and marketed as so necessary. Yes, while single and child-free and working, people should spend their money on things they enjoy (and hopefully some to help others, even in small ways). So, yeah, by all means hang out at the bar with friends and buy drinks. Buy some nice clothes, go on vacation. But, especially for women, the cost of “upkeep” effectively keeps people from getting their own place. Somehow it has become acceptable to pay hundreds of dollars for shoes and not pay rent. And what you pointed out — paying for regular services such as tanning, mani/pedis, waxing, skin treatments and other more extensive cosmetic procedures would prohibit anyone from being able to have enough money left over to pay rent. But since people are taught that these things are a necessity, rather than a luxury or a special treat, the thinking is skewed. Meanwhile the companies who offer these services and the publications who crave their advertising dollars are making mad money, I’m not saying that people shouldn’t look nice and feel good about themselves, but there are some things that some people can’t afford. That’s the money management piece and entitlement attitude that you’ve referenced. So while a person in their 20’s may know that some people regularly receive services at high priced salons and buy $500 shoes, she should know that she can’t afford that now — or regularly. The flip side of that is that people can “afford” to do that if they don’t have their own place and have their lifestyle supplemented by their parents. For some, having the gadgets, accessories and services at will is more important than moving out. I’m going on and on but really I just need to say, nice post.

    • Hi, thank you for taking the time to post your considered response. I appreciate your feedback and opinions on this.
      The points you raise here are interesting – it is true that society validates or teaches people that these frivolous things are a necessity, on a daily/weekly basis. It s like ingrained into our culture now, and no one questions it. It is about making money for companies – but at a cost to people’s ‘normal’ functioning lives.
      Thank you for liking my post, very kind of you 🙂
      Bex

  2. Bex, as you point out, wealth can be very corrupting, especially for children. To avoid this wealthy parents should convey the idea of stewardship to their children, teaching them how to be good stewards of their wealth for the sake of future generations. Of course very few families do this.

    • Hi Malcolm, couldn’t agree more!! I often wonder too, if education could perhaps lend a hand; lessons on ‘managing money’ for instance.

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